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Rory told her mom that she wanted to be the one to tell Luke.
After a week passed and Rory still hadn’t said a peep to him, Lorelai gave her a deadline because she didn’t want to lie by omission. Rory understood. Lorelai and Luke had both been guilty of not communicating, and now that they were good and in love, Rory didn’t blame her mom for not wanting to jeopardize that.
Still, Rory procrastinated. Her seven-day deadline came and went.
Lorelai hadn’t exactly called her on it, but Rory knew and knew her mother knew, and Rory hadn’t been sleeping because she knew.
Avoidance, thy name was Rory Gilmore.
And now, here she stood in front of the door to Luke’s Diner with her hands stuffed in her coat pockets – the smart grey coat with the big buttons. She rocked back and forth between the ball and heel of her feet and chewed her lip, the darkness outside hiding her from Luke’s view.
He was cleaning up the diner, flipping chairs and lining them up on tabletops with just the faintest hint of aggression all in the vain attempt to force Kirk to get a hint and take a hike. Kirk, for his part, remained focused on slowly cutting his meatloaf, studying his fork, plopping the food in his mouth, and then closing his eyes while chewing.
Normally, Rory would be amused by the whole tableau, but the nerves in her stomach were far too alive to let her relax into humor. Instead, she willed Kirk to stay longer and savor his dish. Luke was an excellent cook, after all.
Instead, Luke picked up the very chair Kirk was sitting in and dumped him onto the floor. Kirk glared at Luke as if noticing him for the first time and then dramatically stormed toward the exit.
Rory had to take a step to the side as Kirk breezed by her in an indignant huff, exaggerating a faux limp. The door banged shut behind him.
“Good evening, Rory,” he called back without turning his head.
She lifted a hand in hello or goodbye - she wasn’t sure which. She turned toward the diner again, dread filling her chest. Luke was staring in surprise at her through the glass. The simmering anger dissipated off his face, and he opened the door with much greater gentleness than Kirk.
Concern was written all over her stepfather’s face. “Rory? What are you doing here so late? Lorelai said you were going to bed early.”
He knew she hadn’t been sleeping even if he didn’t know why, and going to bed early had originally been the plan. But as soon as her head hit the pillow, she knew she wouldn’t sleep until she told him.
So, she’d thrown the coat over her pink pajamas, slipped on her sneakers, and taken a walk.
Now, confronted with Luke’s question and earnest caring, Rory felt tears threatening imminent arrival. So, she looked left and down and managed, “I-I need to talk.”
“Come in.”
Luckily, Luke touched her shoulder and guided her into the warm, cozy familiarity of the diner because she didn’t think she could have moved otherwise. She’d always felt at home here from the first day she’d crossed the threshold.
“Sit.” He went behind the counter and pulled out a mug for her.
His short command was comforting, so she slowly perched on a stool, keeping her hands in her pockets. Half the diner lights were out, and the ice cream shop was dark. There was also comfort in that.
He glanced over his shoulder and lifted an eyebrow. “I’m not giving you coffee because you need to sleep. So, you get hot cocoa.”
He filled her mug with steaming water, reached under the counter and pulled out a packet of powdered hot chocolate – the kind with the little marshmallows that weren’t really marshmallows. This had always been her favorite kind of hot chocolate, and when she was younger, he’d taken to keeping a stash behind the counter just for her.
This made her smile just a little. She tore open the packet and dumped in the powder, stirring the mixture together with an offered spoon. “Thank you.”
Luke leaned over the counter and waited. He could be infinitely patient with her. He gestured at mug. “Don’t worry. The cocoa’s new. Got a couple of kids who come in and like it. I told them this was no way to make hot cocoa, but they insisted this is the best.”
Her shoulders relaxed. “It is the best.” She captured one little marshmallow on her spoon and held it up. “And these little guys are absolutely perfect. Next time they come in, tell them I said they were right.”
Luke smiled. “Will do.”
He picked up a towel and wiped down part of the cabinet as she took her first sip. The chocolate rolling over her tongue made her relax even more. She hadn’t realized how freezing she had been walking all the way to the diner. Her chest felt warmer already.
She drank, and he cleaned – each of them focused on a singular task.
About halfway through the cup, she focused on the stained ring of chocolate that lingered on the ceramic and said softly, “I’m pregnant.”
Luke froze, and Rory felt her whole insides clench up again.
“Ohhhh,” he breathed.
And this led Rory to babbling to stave off any possible hint of rejection. “And I don’t know what to do. It’s a mess, and I’m a mess, and everything is – ”
Luke rounded the counter and took the stool next to her. “We’ll figure it out. I mean, I’m here to help you if you need it. Does your mom know?”
Rory knew she needed to clear this up. “Yes, she knows. I wanted to be the one to tell you, and she gave me a deadline, but I didn’t meet it. But she still gave me a chance, and I couldn’t sleep. So, I-I finally – I had to tell you.”
“Right away apparently.”
She nodded. “Right away.”
Luke was quiet a long moment, and Rory knew his next question before he asked it. “Who’s the father? Is it that Paul guy?”
Rory made a face. “No.”
Luke frowned. “Jess?”
Rory could see why Luke might think that. She did. “No.”
“You gonna make me keep guessing?” The question was kind and teasing. He probably knew she might bolt if he took a harsher approach.
She shook her head, took a deep breath, and looked him in the eyes. “The baby’s Logan’s.”
Disbelief washed over Luke’s features and he sat up. “Logan?! Isn’t he in Europe?”
Rory nodded. She tried not to think about how sad Logan had been when she hadn’t taken him up on using the house to write.
“And what did he say when you told him?”
Rory looked down at the mug in her hands, her fingers fiddling with the rim.
Luke answered his own question, “You didn’t tell him.”
She shook her head again.
“But why the hell – ” Luke stopped himself by clearing his throat.
“He has a life. There’s a whole dynastic plan.” A tear slipped down her cheek.
“What ‘dynastic plan’?! You should be the plan! You and the baby.” Luke was getting upset; Rory knew it would be this way because he loved her.
The floodgates opened then. “I-I don’t want to interfere. He’s getting married.”
“Married?! When he got you pregnant?” Luke stood up then and started pacing.
“Well, he doesn’t know that part, and I can’t do that to him because – ”
“Can’t do what to him? Make him take accountability for his actions? He played a role in it, too, you know!” Luke gestured at her nonexistent baby bump.
“Oh, I know he did. B-but we ended it. We ended. . .” Rory hesitated. What did she call their affair? It wasn’t exactly her finest hour, but in her mind, it had been different than what she and Dean had done to Lindsay by the fraction-iest of fractions. “We ended our relationship because he is getting married. A-and I already messed things up enough.” Tornado Rory coming in hot, destroying her life all by her lonesome. She scooped up things along the way and smashed them to smithereens. Stay far, far away. “I-I couldn’t do that to Logan, too. He has a career – ”
“Doing his father’s bidding.”
“And he has obligations to his family.”
“Exactly. He has obligations to you and his child.” Luke paused finally and put his arm around Rory’s shoulder. “Let’s be clear. I care about your heart. Not his.”
“I-I know.”
Luke sat down on the stool across from her, their knees touching. “And as your sort-of dad figure, I owe it to you to be straight.”
Here it was. What Rory had been most worried about. Tears threatened to flow again. She blinked them away – forced them back so hard she was holding her breath.
Hurt filled Luke’s eyes. “What Anna did to me. Not telling me about April. I lost so many years with her.”
Rory hopped off her seat to hug Luke tight. She saw. . . experienced how much he adored April. “I know.”
He returned the hug with equal vigor. “You have to tell Logan.”
“I know.”
“Don’t be like your mom and me. Miscommunicating for so long about stuff that didn’t need to be so hard. Life’s short.”
“But what if he – ”
Luke drew back. “He won’t be like your dad. I know enough about Logan that I know that.”
This hit Rory’s tenderest fear of all the fears. “It messed me up more than I could admit. For a long time. Maybe I’ll always be a little bit messed up because of it. B-but I had you. And Grandpa.”
“And if Logan flakes on you, your baby will have us. Me and your mom. Your grandma. April. Gigi. Liz and T.J. – God help me.”
Rory giggled through her tears. “God help us all.”
“But you have to give him a chance. Because I wish I had had that chance. I don’t know what kind of father I would have been, but – ”
“Now you’re the best dad.” She hoped he knew she was implying he was a dad to her, too.
He looked pleased. “Well, I don’t know about that.” He stood. “Okay, I know from Lane that women can have coffee while they’re pregnant up to a certain amount. And I’m wondering if I need to put a pot on.”
“Just to take the edge off?” Was there too much hope in her voice?
Slinging the cleaning towel over his shoulder, he slid a glass-covered platter across the diner counter toward her. “And I need to get rid of these donuts.” He made them fresh every morning.
“Oooo yum. Chocolate with sprinkles. My fave.” Something tight unfurled itself in Rory’s chest as she lifted the lid and chose the most chocolate-y, sprinkle-heaped donut from the pile. The scent was heavenly. “Mom said all the same stuff. I mean, except for the April stuff.”
“Because she’s right.” He slid a filter into the coffee maker and scooped in some grounds. He closed the machine and turned it on, turning back to her. “Feel better?”
She leaned on the counter with both her forearms. “Immensely. Thank you.”
“If you want, I’ll sit with you while you make the call.” His offer wasn’t surprising to Rory. Her mom had offered the same.
She bit her lip. Their conversation had given her the courage to decide something for the first time. “I think I may have to do it in person.”
The end.
12-14-24
5:30 PM