Work Text:
“Do you have an appointment?” A young woman in a button down shirt, and blue hair asked from behind a desk while looking Hidan up and down as she stopped him from passing through any further.
She had already made up her mind about him, he could tell by the look on her face. It was the same look most people gave, and he couldn’t really blame them. It was mostly deserved and they were usually correct in their initial opinions of him.
“Appointment?” He repeated, sounding dumb even to his own ears.
Smug smile in place, she said, “I’m sorry, sir, but without an appointment you aren’t allowed past this point. Bosses orders. I’m sure you understand.”
Hidan shifted on his feet, the bag of takeout he held rustled, and the scent of hot food teasing his senses. It had been hours since he had breakfast. And coffee and cigarettes hardly made a meal. His stomach took the opportunity to grumble. He was starving.
“What are you? A delivery boy or something?” She asked in an almost mocking tone.
“No, I’m not a fucking delivery boy!” Hidan finally snapped at her though she looked unfazed. “I’m here to see Kakuzu. Just call his office and tell him his partner is here! Didn’t know I needed a damn invitation!”
“Partner?” The woman repeated, looking him over once more as if she saw something new she had missed before. Or maybe not. “Somehow, I doubt that you are.”
“Fucking call him,” Hidan demanded. “Or I will. I wonder how he’ll appreciate his employee treating me like this.”
Hidan went to set the bag of food on her desk only for her to stop him. “Don’t. I don’t need grease stains all over my paperwork.”
“Grease?!” He lifted the bag to check the bottom but there was nothing to see. It was just a trick to stop him from calling Kakuzu himself.
The woman gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes, picked up the phone, and punched in a couple of numbers all while looking as if what she was doing was beneath her, as if Hidan was beneath her. And the thought crossed his mind that maybe he was.
Checking to see if she wore a nametag, Hidan didn’t see one but there was a nameplate on her desk that read Konan.
“Sorry to disturb you, sir, but there’s someone out here claiming to be your partner and demanding to be let in to see you.” A pause, during which she glanced across the desk at Hidan. “He has a bag of takeout but says he is not a delivery boy. Looks like someone I would throw out or call the police on.” Another pause and she looked up at Hidan. “Your name?”
With a roll of his eyes, he loudly said, “Hidan.”
Without even having to repeat his name, she asked, “Are you sure, sir?” And then Konan hung up and regarded him coolly from where she sat, crossing her arms.
“Well? Are you going to let me in now?”
“No.”
“What?!”
“He wants you to leave. He’s in a meeting and told me to let you know that he will call you later.”
“Nah, I’ll just wait here.” Hidan looked around and found a leather couch along the wall opposite the woman’s desk.
“No, you won’t. The meeting could take hours. He told me to tell you to leave and that he will call you. If you don’t, you'll be escorted out by security. I will not be repeating myself.”
Hidan sighed. She really would call security to throw him out, there was no doubt about it. His own fault, really. Dropping in to surprise Kakuzu at work for lunch had been a bad idea.
“You should have told me your plans to stop by my office at lunch,” Kakuzu said as he loosened his tie as soon as he got in through the front door of his apartment. Hidan was on the couch, playing video games and barely looked up. “I would have told you not to bother.”
“Whatever.” Hidan’s character died on screen and he tossed the controller onto the cushion next to himself. “Your secretary, Konan, she’s a real bitch.”
Kakuzu’s mouth twitched up at the corners in a smile. “She’s good at what she does and is efficient with her time.”
“She was fucking rude to me!”
“She was only doing her job.” With Hidan following along close behind, Kakuzu made his way into his bedroom where he removed his coat and hung it up in the closet.
“And you never called me, by the way. You said you would.” Hidan watched as Kakuzu slid the tie from around his neck and then lay it down, neatly folded, on top of the dresser.
Realization dawned in emerald eyes and he met Hidan’s gaze in the mirror before turning around. “I’m sorry about that. I was very busy the rest of the day and… I forgot.”
It stung a little, to have been forgotten. “You’re forgiven. This time.”
“I’ll make it up to you.” Kakuzu promised and then his gaze drifted to the bed. It was unmade, as if someone had taken an afternoon nap in it. Hidan certainly had made himself comfortable. And Kakuzu found he didn’t mind at all. It was nice to have someone to come home to at the end of the day. “I see you’ve made use of the key I gave you.”
“Yeah,” Hidan said as he sat at the end of the bed. “I stopped by after work, and—”
Kakuzu snorted, unable to help himself.
“What’s so funny?”
“You work?” Kakuzu shook his head.
“Oh, fuck you!” There was no bite behind Hidan’s words and he laughed.
“I’d hardly call what you do ‘work.’ Some of us make an honest living.”
Hidan rolled his eyes and leaned back on his elbows. “An honest living?” He repeated and gave a derisive snort of his own. “So… making money by convincing people to sink their money into crap investments is passes for honest these days?”
“That’s not what I do.”
“It’s part of what you do, though, isn’t it? You’ve told me enough that even I know how it works.”
“Like you’re one to judge.” Kakuzu finished changing out of what he wore for work. “At least what I do is well within the law.”
“Hey, someone’s gotta keep the cops employed around here!” Hidan laughed. “And I’ve been making good money this week. I could even treat you to dinner this Friday. What do you say?” Hidan asked, sitting up a little straighter, an expectant look on his face. “Want to go on a date with me?”
Hidan looked cute asking him out on a date, and was completely at ease there in Kakuzu’s bedroom, and Kakuzu, he was completely as ease with him being there.
They hadn’t been seeing each other for very long, and Kakuzu worried they were moving too fast, he had already given the man a key to his apartment, and he had already changed things. The sheets for one, Hidan had insisted on flannel instead of crisp cotton, claiming they were softer and more comfortable. Kakuzu hated to admit he liked them better, they were much more cozy than his old sheets. Less expensive, too. Hidan's clothes appeared in the closet alongside Kakuzu's. And then he brought over a game console and set it up. Or had ‘acquired’ a new one. Kakuzu didn’t ask, he found he didn’t care, and he didn’t care about the changes made. Hidan was there more often than not, and if he was more comfortable, and more importantly—entertained, as a bored Hidan was a magnet for disaster—the better for it.
“Kakuzu?” Hidan prompted, still waiting for a response.
“Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing. Only, it’s a business dinner. I’m supposed to wine and dine this new client. I’d like you to attend.”
Hidan made a face at that. “Some fancy place, right? I don’t think so. I’d probably fuck it all up for you.”
Kakuzu shook his head and came to stand between Hidan’s spread legs. “If I thought that to be the case, I wouldn’t have asked you.” Leaning down, he kissed him on the mouth. “Do you have a tie?”
“Hell no.”
“You can borrow one of mine then. Do you even have a nice shirt and pants to wear?”
“Also no.” Hidan leaned up for another kiss. “Don’t tell me you actually thought I did.”
Kakuzu kissed him back. “I could hope. Be sure to get something. I expect you to be well dressed. Nice pants, shirt and tie.”
Hidan made a face, but promised to dress up before changing the subject.
“So, did you ever have lunch?”
Kakuzu shook his head, about to climb onto the bed when Hidan stopped him with a hand to his chest and pushed back.
“Since you didn’t want to have lunch with me, let’s have dinner,” Hidan said, slipping off the bed before Kakuzu could stop him and pin him in place. “My treat. Which means I get to pick.”
Kakuzu groaned, knowing it was going to be meat, meat, and more meat. “At least get some kind of vegetable.”
“Sure, sure.” Hidan nodded as he was already placing an order on his phone.
Later, when the food arrived and the only thing passable as a vegetable was an order of seasoned fries, Kakuzu questioned him on it.
“I must not have heard you.”
Kakuzu raised a brow.
“What? I’ve been to lots of concerts,” was Hidan’s flimsy excuse. “Speak up next time, yeah?”
Friday night rolled around, and Kakuzu waited and waited for Hidan only for him not to show up and send a text halfway through dinner saying he was sorry and got held up. Kakuzu wondered how literal that was, and imagined Hidan texting him at gunpoint. That wasn’t very likely, and Kakuzu found himself angry at Hidan and hoped he wouldn’t be waiting for him at home which proved too much to hope for, because as soon as he walked in, he knew Hidan was there.
It was dark, except for the light coming from the bedroom. A black coat was draped haphazardly over the kitchen counter, as if it had been thrown there. Kakuzu grabbed it only to recoil when his hand touched something wet and sticky and cold. Pulling back his fingers were stained with red. The thought that perhaps Hidan really had been held at gunpoint when he texted crossed Kakuzu’s mind.
Leaving the coat where it was, he made his way towards the bedroom and found Hidan in the bathroom, still fully clothed in a white button-down that was soaked through with blood on one side. He sat on the counter, twisting around to presumably get a better look at whatever was causing his shirt to be soaked in blood.
“What the hell are you doing, Hidan?” Kakuzu demanded, startling Hidan who jumped down and hissed in pain.
“I…” Hidan was covered in a sheen of sweat and his hands, trembling, were smeared with blood.
“What happened?” Kakuzu wanted to know. “Are you hurt? Or… did you kill someone?”
“It’s my blood. All of it. I–I got stabbed. I didn’t kill anyone! I swear to fucking God!” Hidan reached up to try and remove the tie from around his neck, breathing hard. Unable to loosen it, he started to panic and Kakuzu covered his hands with his own.
“Why did you come here?” Kakuzu asked, keeping his voice level and low as he forced Hidan’s hands down. Once they were out of the way he easily undid the tie and threw it in the trash as Hidan took a gulp of air as if he had been unable to breathe.
“Can’t exactly go to a fucking hospital like this, can I? They’d call the cops and arrest me!”
“And you're not afraid I will?”
Hidan shook his head. “I trust you.”
Kakuzu unbuttoned the shirt Hidan wore. What a shame, he thought, Hidan had looked so good in it, all dressed up. It was completely ruined, however, torn on the side where he was stabbed and covered in blood. Into the trash it went to join the tie.
“Don’t you have someone to go to for when things like this happen?” Kakuzu asked as he turned Hidan to face the mirror to get a better look and see what they were dealing with. “Like a vet?”
Hidan barked out a laugh at that and leaned his hands heavily against the counter, getting blood smeared all over it. “I think that’s just something that happens on T.V.”
“You need stitches. And antibiotics.” Kakuzu hoped whatever Hidan had been stabbed with missed anything vital, but considering he was upright and coherent, that was likely the case.
“Can’t you just like, I don’t know, pour some alcohol on it and use some band-aids or somethin’?”
Kakuzu met his eyes. “You need more than band-aids. And I think the alcohol thing is just something they do on T.V.”
“Oh. Cause... I was gonna do that.”
It was then Kakuzu noticed a couple of miniature bottles of vodka on the counter, and with a sigh got his first aid kit out from beneath the sink. This was not how the night was supposed to go.
“For what it’s worth,” Hidan said between breaths as he tried to keep still while Kakuzu disinfected his wound, “I’m sorry for not being there tonight. I tried. My boss called me in at the last minute and he’s not gonna be happy with me when he finds out I didn’t get what he wanted.”
“I’m just glad you’re relatively alright.” Any anger Kakuzu had been holding onto was gone by that point. The realization that Hidan could have been arrested, or worse, killed, had taken it’s place instead. “Maybe you should consider a career change.”
“Like anyone would hire me,” Hidan snorted and then made a pained noise as Kakuzu applied pressure with a bandage and taped it in place. “Hey, you’re pretty good at that.”
Kakuzu paused before saying, “I might have some training.”
After inspecting his work, not at all happy that he had just stitched up his boyfriend in the bathroom in the middle of the night, he helped Hidan into the bedroom and got him in bed.
“I’ll think about what you said.” With a lopsided smile, Hidan kissed Kakuzu, tasting like vodka. Hidan had thought he had been sneaky, drinking it while Kakuzu stitched and bandaged him up, but Kakuzu had seen. And he knew alcohol and blood loss were a bad combination.
“I take it you haven’t had dinner. No. You were too busy getting yourself stabbed.” Kakuzu took out his phone to find a place that would deliver. “My treat, so I guess that means I get to choose.”
“Get me a cheeseburger? With fries.”
Kakuzu did not respond to that request as he searched and found a vegetarian restaurant that was still open and would deliver for free. Payback for Hidan both missing their date and also for the last time Hidan had ordered dinner for the two of them. Fries had not counted as the vegetable Kakuzu had asked for.
“Hey, what the hell is this shit?” Hidan sounded and even looked mournful at the lack of a cheeseburger and fries, or anything greasy and full of red meat, in his takeout container. “I just bled all over the place! You couldn’t get me some meat?”
“What’s the matter? It’s a falafel wrap. High in iron, protein, and fiber. Very good for you after getting stabbed. But if you don’t want it, I’ll take it.” Kakuzu reached for it only to have Hidan snatch the container away.
“Bastard,” Hidan grumbled as he poked around in his food before resigning himself to eating it. “I know damn well you heard me ask for a burger.”
“I’m getting old. Must not have heard you.” Kakuzu couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “Speak up next time.”