Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“My Lord”, she greeted as the prince left the study. It seemed he had another long night; his clothes were wrinkled, his hair was all over the place. There was an ink stain on his forehead, and an unidentified stain on his scarf.

“Rayla!” He stumbled, books falling from his arms. “I didn’t see you there! And please don’t call me that, it makes me feel like my dad. or worse, a counselor.”

She tried to hide her laughter as they knelt to collect his things, using her hair as a shield to her face. Since the first time she talked to the prince, a bit before her first full month in Katolis, she thought he was an awkward kind. Now, almost six months later, it was obvious she was right.

“We talked about this before, you are a counselor. And a prince. And the High Mage.” She felt her mouth contort in a grin again at the look in his face as they straightened out. This argument never failed to get a reaction out of him. “Besides, believe me, I wouldn’t be using it if I hadn’t been told it’s an indispensable part of human customs or something. We don’t have anything like human royalty back at the Silvergrove, so it’s kind of weird to me too.”

“Oh, right”, I forgot about that. But whoever told you about human customs seems very, uhm, stiff.”

“It was Opeli.”

“Yeah that checks out.”

They shared a laugh as they made their way through the castle hallways. It became a daily tradition of sorts, though she’s not sure how it started. But Callum left his study for the daily council meeting at the same time she passed by it on the way to her shift at the Royal Wing. They started walking together out of coincidence, then convenience, and somewhere along the way found themselves waiting for the other every day. Rayla hated to admit it, but it was the best part of her day.

By now, they had a steady flow of banther going on, such that the considerably long trip passed in what seemed like instants. On the way to her post after leaving Callum at the open doors of the Council Room, she had to stop herself from turning for a last look. She couldn’t help the smile, though, at what her hearing betrayed; a lack of footsteps and someone lingering in the doorway.

*****

It was the beginning of spring when she noticed something was different.

She was finishing a training session with Soren, making good use of the sunny day. It pained her to admit she quite liked the royal guard, even with his, well, Soren-ness as Callum called it. If you got over the bad jokes and lack of respect for personal space, he wasn’t so bad.

She was dodging a clever hit of his sword when she noticed Callum at the back of the training court, lounging on the bench under the big tree. His face went red when he noticed her looking, quickly going back to his book.

“Didn’t know elves were so distracted,” she managed to dodge another hit, though it was a closer call.

The comment was enough to bring her back to the fight, a clever comeback making Soren backtrack. They’d been at it for a while, both breathing hard by now, but were too stubborn to give up.

“Didn’t know humans were so chatty,” dodge the hit on her legs, swing her left sword downwards, “but you may be talking for all of them.”

“I can't resist good gossip, call it my one flaw.”

“Your one flaw?” She managed to swipe his legs from under him, though the guard got up before she could end it. “And I hardly doubt my supposed lack of attention to be gossip worthy.”

“The reason for it is,” hit, dodge, swerve, “since when have you been at it with the step-prince?”

“Have I what?”

“Do elves not understand euphemisms? I can spell it out if you-”

“No thanks.” She went for an opening near his shoulder - Ouch, hey that hurt! - hitting maybe harder than she had to. “But I still don’t know what you’re talking about. I barely even know the prince.”

“Then why is he still looking at you?”

“He is?”

“Made you look!”

Honestly, Soren was a poor specimen of humankind. She hoped king Ezran didn’t send him on any diplomatic missions, or Katolis would be having trouble soon.

He did have a point, though. Callum had been looking at her again, going back and forth from her and his book. It was enough that her focus drifted from the fight, instinct and endless lessons with Runaan taking over while her mind ran.

It wasn’t the first time she’d noticed Callum on the courtyard while she trained. Sometimes, he would sit by the tree like he was now; others, he’d be lurking by the West Wing’s door, or looking down from the windows of the corridor on the second floor. His presence around her seemed to be growing, but she learned early in life the world was never as big as it seemed; once you started taking note of something or someone, they just seemed to be everywhere.

Which meant she had been thinking way too much about Katolis prince slash High Mage and should go back to minding her fucking business.

A bold move from Soren sent her sprawling, the leg spin that’d get her up again stopped by a sword near her nose.

Stars, she really needed to get a grip.

“And Soren wins! Ten points for the guard with the extra fingers!”

Rayla turned to look for Callum again, telling herself it was just to avoid the sight of Soren’s weird victory dance, and found him smiling at her. Despite still being on the floor, she found herself smiling back.

“Let’s see how well you fare next time,” she said as the guard helped her up. “I wasn’t myself today. And I’m still above you on the tally.”

“So you admit you were distracted.”

“Shut up.”

*****

Spring gave way to summer, the heat in Katolis so much worse than in the Silvergrove. The temperature along with her morning training meant she spent most of the day feeling sticky, the humid air making it worse. She had begun wearing her hair up in a bun, hoping to alleviate this, but there was nothing she could do for the sun. The guard rotation meant that three times a week she was standing guard outside, and she managed to get sun burns on her nose and cheeks after the first week. They were semi-permanent now, her pale skin turning a painful red. And if she started peeling again – fucking peeling – she was gonna murder someone.

So she was already sick and tired of the season, and very annoyed, and the new kids she was supposed to be training were getting on her nerves, so she didn’t immediately notice she was heading for the High Mage’s study until she was already halfway there. But after the last months, the realisation was an afterthought, her feet keeping a steady pace. Rayla had been going there often enough that it was a common occurrence.

She and Callum were friends. It was finally something she could accept, even if royal protocol kept her from confirming it outloud to anyone who asked. She didn’t particularly care about these human customs, but the last thing she wanted was to cause trouble for Callum, and things had been getting more strained between humans and elves since the borders opened a few years ago. It was obvious with the sneers and side looks she sometimes got in the city, with the way the elves there seemed to be a close knit group, wary of strangers. Some of the counselors seemed to share the sentiment, but most of the workers in the castle had received her warmly.

“You need to bring her to dinner.”

The voices coming from the open doors made her stop on her tracks a few feet away from the study. Honestly, humans needed to learn not to talk so loudly all the time; it made for trying not to be sneaky very hard.

“You don’t bring your friends to dinner!”

“First, I don’t have any friends, and second, she’s not your friend.”

“Of course she’s my– wait, what do you mean you don’t have any friends? You have lots of friends!”

So, Callum was with his brother.

When she arrived in Katolis, almost a year ago now, all she knew about him came from the other guards, who seemed to think him a kind but shy kid, who liked animals and escaping his lessons. But her talks with Callum shone a whole other light on prince Ezran, with detail only an older brother could provide. She knew of his tendency to wander the castle halls with his pet, Bait; knew he had a scar in his knee from a fall when he was six; knew he had nightmares about the death of a mother he never got to meet. More than all of that, she knew Callum loved the kid more than anything, even when complaining about his behaviour, which she thought was very composed for a fifteen year old. Stars knew she was a lot worse at that age.

They’d interacted a few times, mostly when she was with Callum and he showed up, but she always had a feeling he was keeping some distance from her. It would be normal in the Silvergove; elves there didn’t get cozy with each other without good reason and intent, but humans seemed to disregard that completely, forming bonds left and right. She would think he didn’t like her, but he was always nice and welcoming in their short talks, and didn’t seem to purposely avoid her.

“I don’t think you and Bait count, but don’t change the subject. Bring her to dinner! Everyone knows something is going on, and do you really want Dad to hear it from someone else before you can introduce them?”

The silence that followed seemed to echo in the halls, Callum’s lack of response making Rayla rethink the entire conversation.

Was Callum… seeing someone? A romantic someone? She didn’t know what else they could be talking about.

Everything seemed to stop, then begin again. Ice spread through her chest, reaching her fingertips and making them numb. It was hard to breathe for a second, the word spinning in and out of focus.

She wasn’t so unaware as to not notice she has something of an interest in Callum. It didn’t get her by surprise one day, and there was no big moment of realisation; it just sort of became something she was aware of, that she was maybe-kind-of-a little bit in love with the High Mage. But at the same time, she was aware it was something she could never act upon. She might be soft hearted enough to fall for the prince, but she wasn’t as naive as Runnan might think.

Katolis was a progressive place, all things considered, but only an insane King would allow his son to be with an elf.

No, Callum would find a pretty human who loved court etiquette and politics, who could help him support his brother when it was time for Ezran to take the throne. Someone who’d never struggled with their place in the world, who was healed enough inside to help him when he needed. Someone who could give him peace.

Rayla was none of those things.

But being his friend, sharing his time? She wanted that, needed that, and it didn’t seem to be a sacrifice for him. There were many types of love, and she didn’t need to share his bed to know he cared for her as well, in other ways.

A loud noise came from the study, a table or chair scratching the floor and something heavy falling on it.

“I know.” Callum sounded… lost. “But it really isn’t like that. I know it doesn’t look like it, but we really are just friends. Truth is I’d really, really like for us to be more but I don’t know what to do about it.

A huff from Ezran, then another scratching noise and someone sitting down, “And they say you get smarter as you get older. Twenty years old and you still can’t talk to a girl.”

“Hey! I talk to her alright, or I wouldn’t have the problem of everyone thinking we are dating.”

“Well, you are looking for advice from your kid brother so obviously you got something wrong.”

“Who else am I gonna be talking to about this, Soren?” That mental image was funny enough to get her breathing normally again, but barely.

“He’s been with Corvus for three years now, maybe is not such a bad idea.”

“Oh no, I bet that was all Corvus, if anything Soren made it harder for them to get together.”

“Yeah, that seems fair.” Another scratch, then steps, “You’re gonna figure it out, both of you. Just make sure to do it before Dad finds out. I don't want to sit through the sandwich talk again.”

The whole situation might have been affecting her more than she realised – who was the girl they were talking about? – because she didn’t even notice Ezran coming out of the study until he had already closed the door behind him. He turned, and for longer than she could count they just stared at each other, eyes wide and bodies frozen.

Ezran recovered first, a wide smile who looked so much like Callum’s splitting his face. He began to laugh quietly, hitching Bait higher in his arms as he came down the hallway. When they got to her side, Ez was shaking his head, and she could swear his smug smile was mirrored in Bait’s face.

“Good evening, Rayla.”

“Hi… Your Highness?”

He laughed harder at that, and Rayla cleared her throat to try and shake feeling back to her body. She stood there long after they’d turned a corner, gathering her wits before knocking on the study’s door. She waited for the sing-songed “Come in!” before opening, finding Callum behind his desk with the usual chaos of open books and burned out candles all around him. The room felt chilly and airy, probably because of the thick stone walls and open window (along with some very useful magic), and she was immediately thankful for the change.

“Rayla!” She couldn’t help smiling at the way he clumsily got up and around the mess, all thoughts of stubborn cadets and secret girlfriends out of her mind for the moment. She stepped further into the room, and he stopped short a few feet from her as the light hit her face. “Are you… Did you get a sunburn?”

He was on her a moment later, hands on her face as he tried to get a better look at the redness in her nose and cheeks. It made the hairs on her neck stand on end, her chest tightening with hope and – after the conversation she heard – disappointment. She tried to suffocate the feeling in favor of the kinder daydream, and was surprised by how easily it gave way. Maybe Runaan was right all along, and she really was naive.

“That looks like it hurts, they weren’t that bad yesterday.” He stepped back to his desk, still talking, and Rayla tried not to mourn the lost touch. “I’ve been working on something, it's an upgrade from a popular calming cream, but I was using magic and you know how unstable it can be so it took me a while, but I think I finally got it right-”

“Callum-”

“-I knew the sun was doing a number on your skin, I should have finished this sooner but those damned council meetings keep eating my time-”

“Callum-”

“-and stars, where is it? I was sure I put it here last night but it was late so maybe-”

“Callum!”

“Found it!” His hand flew up with a small jar he dug from his side cabinet, and before she could blink he was making his way to her side again.

“You seriously need to slow down, and- wait what is it?”

He was holding the jar out to her now, eyes wide and smile just waiting for permission to take over his face. She took the jar, a bit hesitant, opening it before bringing it close to her nose and smelling…

“Is this mint?”

His hand came up to rub his neck, eyes falling to his shoes before coming up to her again.

“Like I said, it’s an upgraded calming cream. For your sunburns.”

For some time, she could only blink up at him. A calming cream? For her sunburns? Which took him probably weeks to make?

His lips began to drop as the seconds passed, and that was enough to bring her out of the stupor. Her mouth tugged and split in a grin, and his face broke into a smile in return. Stars, she was in trouble.

“Well, how do I put it on?”

Turns out, she didn’t have to. But staying still while Callum spread the mint cream on her face was a lot harder, especially as he took his time to spread the paste, fingers lingering on her cheeks. Slowly, she felt the mint-like sensation take over, soothing the burn she didn’t even realize was there until it was gone.

After he was done, they both just stood there in the middle of the study, giggling over how ridiculous she looked with the cream on and how his magic was really being used for the greater good. Callum kept looking at her in that goofy way of his, and she was still kind of sweating everywhere and her face was sticky, but. Maybe she wouldn't hate summer in Katolis so much.

Chapter Text

“Dear Ethari,

Things are good here. I’ve been training some kids, and guarding some people, and hitting some stuff. And some other people.  

I know you asked me when I’m going back to the Silvergrove, but I don’t know yet. Honestly, I might not be going back at all, but don’t worry! Maybe I won’t stay in Katolis either. Maybe, I’ll just run off into the wild where no one asks me these questions, and become a solitary hermit, and adopt a monkey or something, and live happily ever after just hitting stuff and being left alo-“

Yeah, that wasn’t gonna work. 

It’d been over an hour since Rayla holed up in the Library, trying to answer Ethari’s last letter and getting increasingly frustrated as the pile of parchment near her desk grew. It was always like this when she tried to write to her parents - a lot they wanted of her, and not much she could give them. If she was honest, it wasn’t only letters that were like this.

She loved Runaan and Ethari, but they never really understood her. To be fair, no one ever did. And, their questions had a valid point: when she left home, she said her stay in the human lands wouldn't be long, but that conversation had been way over a year ago now.

It was never the plan to stay so long in Katolis. Since the first day, it was obvious she was an outsider, one of the few elves in a castle – a kingdom – full of humans who still thought of her as the enemy. And she knew, through Ethari’s letters, staying so long was only working to make everyone back in the Silvergrove more hesitant of her, the moonshadow who chose humans over her own.

But, that didn’t sting so much; they were never so fond of her to begin with. It was one of the reasons she left.

She had spent her whole life, as far as she could recall, looking for something, somewhere, that felt right . Even before her parents died, the Silvergove didn’t feel quite like it, with the mean kids and stink-eyed parents.

But, she had more pressing matters right now than philosophical delusions of righteousness. Although, for Rayla, these matters seemed just as ridiculous.

Callum was interested in someone. That was completely fine, and Rayla was definitely not freaking out about it.

Rationally, it was such a ridiculous thing to lose sleep about. Cadet training was in full force, the royal guard was short staffed, and the fall festivities were getting close. She barely had time to eat , let alone worry about the prince’s love life. But she worried all the same, especially because it’d been months and she still had no idea who the brothers were talking about that day in the study.

From what she heard, she knew it was a woman, but truth was that didn’t narrow it down in the least. There were dozens of court ladies always being paraded around the castle, but Callum never showed an interest in any of them. She knew he had been close with Soren’s sister, a girl called Claudia, but both she and the former High Mage had left Katolis when the war ended, as part of the Dark Magic Resolutions. 

So, she had nothing. And maybe not knowing was for the best. That way, at least, she couldn’t torture herself with the terrible, terrible images of them being happy together, just to then feel guilty about being a terrible, terrible friend who should only want Callum’s happiness. 

So, yeah. It was a ridiculous thing to lose sleep about. 

At least summer had passed, taking the unbearable heat with it, and she was quite enjoying fall in Katolis. It gave her an excuse to spend her scarce free time like she was now, strolling through the markets in the village near the castle, just taking in the many reds and yellows and oranges in the stands that matched the trees around them.

She was paying for an obscenely red apple when she felt someone approaching her from behind. Her hand was firm around her blade before she recognized the cadency of the steps, heart doing vaults at the realization.

“You shouldn’t sneak up on people, you know.” She was already turning around, finding Callum smiling at her. He was dressed in some ridiculous outfit that had too much fabric and was, she guessed, supposed to make him look “normal”. It only made him look weird, but the hood over his head was effective enough, and no one seemed to recognize him.

“That’s not fair, you sneak up on me all the time.”

“I don’t try to. It’s not my fault you don’t pay attention.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I don’t have super powers.”

“Yeah, you should be.” 

They laughed as they made their way through the street, talking about everything and nothing in particular. They passed by a tree, leaves orange and red, and he tripped on the roots, her hands flying to stabilize him. It was just then she realized he’d been dragging his feet a little.

“You look tired.” He did, really, and now that she noticed the signs were everywhere. The bags under his eyes were larger than usual, his body leaning forward, and he seemed distracted. “Anything happen at the council meeting?”

“Yes, and no,” His chest went up with a big breath, and she tried not to linger on how it made the vein in his neck pop. “Just some counselors giving me grief, as they’ve been doing since I was eighteen.”

“Oh. Any particular reason why?” 

Suddenly, he looked hesitant, and she picked at the trinkets in the nearby stand to distract herself. He still sounded careful when he talked, eyes never leaving her.

“They want me to get married.”

The world stopped. Everything that’s been in her mind for the last weeks hit her at once, leaving her a little nauseous and blurring her vision.

“Married?” Please, stars, let her voice be steady. “With who?”

“No one in particular, but there are a couple of foreign princesses and ladies they keep bringing up. Say it’ll be ‘good for Katolis’,” he raised his hands in an ironic sign “or whatever. My step dad keeps calling bullshit, but they just wait ‘till he's out of the room to get into it again. I think mostly they just want to get rid of me."

“Why would they want that?”

“I have some ideas that conflict with what they want for Katolis, I guess.” For a second, it looked like he wanted to say more. Rayla was opening her mouth to ask when someone grabbed her at the wrist, with enough force she knew it would bruise.

There was a blade in her other hand in less then a second, and she saw Callum raising his arms like he did when getting ready to cast a spell. But-

“Keep your hands to yourself.” It was an old man, angry lines in his eyes, paint stains in his clothes. The owner of the stand. “Your kind is not welcome here.”

It took Rayla a moment to understand what was happening, and another to find her voice. But in the next breath, she was pulling her arm out of the hold, and backing away with Callum. 

“I wasn’t stealing anything.” There were people looking now, looking for gossip or a fight or a scene.

“You are stealing our jobs, our peace. That’s enough for me.” The man took a step forward, and she felt Callum trying to go around her before she stopped him with her arm. The last thing they needed was people recognizing the prince.

“You know that’s not true,” he said behind her, voice hard. It brought the man’s attention to him, but only for a second.

“Her type are killers, and you should be ashamed of defending her.” A sneer, and then he was spitting in the ground by her feet. “You have no place here.”

“And your arguments clearly lack logic, so there’s no point debating. Let 's go.” She grabbed Callum and turned them on their heels, practically fleeing through the side streets.

There was a pounding in her chest.

She knew things were bad for elves in the human lands, just not that they were this bad. There was real hate in that man’s eyes, and fear - the look of someone who believed in what they were saying. It wasn’t just anger for the sake of anger, but the case of a person who truly believed she was a threat.

It didn’t excuse his behavior, not by far, but also didn’t make her any less shaken. 

There was a hand in her arm again, and this time she reacted without thinking.

They were on the floor, rolling, before she realised she had been running. Instinct took over, her blade going to her attacker's neck before the sound of the fall broke the ringing in her ears. Before she focused on Callum, panting underneath her, eyes worried and unafraid despite a scraped cheek and the sword under his chin.

She froze, and for long moments they just breathed together, tired and full of adrenaline at the same time. Until, somehow, the stupid prince began to smile .

“You know,” he was still breathing hard, and she gathered enough presence of mind to pull her blade back a bit, “you can run pretty fast.”

A blink. Then two.

“ That is what you have to say?” She threw her sword to the side, eyes threatening to bug out of her head. “I attacked you!”

“To be fair, I grabbed you. But only ‘cause you didn’t listen to me calling you.”

“I attacked you! I could have killed you”” 

“Okay, a little more faith in my abilities would be nice-”

“I almost cut your neck right open!”

“Rayla! I am fine! Look,” he pulled his scarf down, displaying his neck. “No cuts. But are you okay?

“Why are you asking that? I attacked-”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve been there, but,” a pause, like he was searching for the right words, “are you alright? That was scary, back in the markets.”

Somehow, she’d almost forgotten about that. Her hands started shaking, and she sat up on her heels, with Callum following a moment later. The cold forest floor on her knees helped ground her, and she noticed they were in the woods outside the village; thankfully, she didn’t run for long.

“I’m fine. I just,” there was dirt under her fingernails, and she picked at it for a distraction, ”It’s stupid, the guy was just an ass. I’m fine.”

“Rayla.” His hands came up, and he watched for a second to see if she would flinch away. When she didn’t, he cradled her face, so much like that day in his study with his magic calming cream. “You were assaulted. In the middle of the street. It’s okay to be shaken.”

She wanted to lie again, but she was never the best liar, and it was Callum. She always felt safe with him. “I just, I don’t know. I knew, logically, that there’s tension between humans and elves. How could it not, when we’ve grown up hearing nightmare tales about each other? I guess it was just luck I’d never experienced it firsthand before.”

She finally looked up, hands falling to her lap, “So, I’m a bit shaken. And I’m… mad that I’m having such a meltdown but did nothing back there. I’m a coward, I did nothing!” Her hands were shaking again, as the last weeks and months bled together with the last few minutes. Callum’s hands fell from her face to grasp hers, and she tried no to mourn the loss where her cheeks were now growing cold. “And I’m… so alone, here. But I’m so alone back at the Silvergrove, too, and. Stars, I’m rambling, sorry, I’m a mess, I really wish you weren’t seeing me like this.”

“Rayla,” his hands squeezed hers, the contact grounding her more and more, “you are stubborn, and hard-working, and absolutely not a coward. You might feel like that but, everything I’ve seen you do since you got here, you’ve done with your whole heart. And that must be so painful, wearing your heart on your sleeve like that, but it’s just one of these things that make you, you. And it makes you the bravest person I know, because you feel everything but you never let it stop you.

But you can’t let it stay bottled up forever, that’s impossible, you need to feel it sometime. So, please, be a mess in front of me, ‘cause I care about you. And I’d really rather you fall apart while I’m near, so we can pick up the pieces together. Just like I know you’d do for me. You might feel alone, and I can’t say I understand what you’re feeling right now, but you’ll never be truly alone while I am here.”

Then he stayed there, just looking at her, like he didn’t just dive into her soul and wake up parts of her that’d been asleep for maybe forever. For the first time in her life, she felt seen , and… Honestly, even if she was more aware, there was no stopping what happened next. 

She just leaned up and kissed him.

It wasn’t like in her romance books; she didn't suddenly become unaware of everything else. On the contrary, everything was distracting: the wind on her neck, her knees on the ground, their hands together on her lap. His lips were soft. And, Calum was completely still.

Shit.

She tumbled backwards, hand rushing to cover her mouth so fast she almost slapped herself. Callum’s face was slack, showing no reaction besides for his eyes, which were almost as wide as hers. 

“I’m so sorry! So, so so so sorry! I shouldn’t have done that, I misread everything, let’s just-”

In her despair, she missed the way his expression hardened into determination, the way he began leaning forward. Until he stopped her rambling - by kissing her again.

As they kissed on the forest floor, giggling and getting dirt all over their clothes, Rayla realized that, maybe, the books were right all along. The world could explode, and she wouldn’t notice it at all.