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“Are we really going to look at his search history, dudes? That seems kind of not cool.” Asked Soos.
“Well, he hasn’t been talking to us much for a couple weeks now, so it is not like we can ask him. He can be so stubborn. And I am worried about him. Especially since he seemed like he was finally starting to adjust more to his…new situation. He had been talking to people. At least some people. Now he isn’t talking to people; barely even me. And I am…just worried about him.” Mabel answered.
“And we will somehow get the deets on his worries through his search history. I mean, I guess we might find some stuff, but I don’t really know how much deep worries and stuff we will get through it.” Wendy voiced while laying lazily on the floor behind Soos and Mabel who were looking at Dipper’s computer in his and Mabel’s attic room. Dipper wasn’t there, he was out wandering in the woods, doing, well, Mabel and Soos didn’t really know. Mabel suspected he was just trying to get away and clear his mind. His mind had become even more busy and cluttered, since…that forever life-changing event.
Mabel turning around from starting into the computer to look at Wendy, countered, “Fair points, Wendy. However, my dum-dum brother likes to search up anything and everything. Including some more personal stuff. He almost uses it as a kind of a friend or therapist. I think I even saw a virtual therapist thing, in his search history once.”
“And he did searches like this even before Bill tried to takeover everything, and before, you know, “that” happened? And why were you looking at his search history back then anyways?”
“Yeah, Dipper has always been very well, himself, for awhile now. But he is being even weirder than usual lately. And honestly, he probably does need a therapist, but beyond well, looking up a digital one, and just basically using his computer in general as a kind of therapist, I could see him kinda stubborn about seeing one. Even more now. Though”, Mabel putting a finger to her chin and tilted her head up, “it would be hard to get an actual good therapist that could ACTUALLY help all of Dipper’s stuff now. And to find a good one, that wouldn’t rat us out, send him to send an institute, or just wouldn’t be driven crazy themselves,” Wendy gave an eyebrow raise at the stuff she was hearing Mabel say and Soos in-turn looked like he was thinking deeply about what Mabel was saying, “would be hard, huh?” Mabel seemed to really genuinely be thinking hard on all this.
There was a sort of pause while Mabel just pondered on all this. But then she remembered the second question Wendy said, which led to an even longer pause while she delayed answering that question. She did finally speak up, and in the end Mabel’s answer to Wendy’s 2nd question was just a vague, “Well, I am Dipper’s sister, we sometimes found out stuff like their internet searches. Case in point, what we are doing right now.”
Wendy looked a bit skeptical at her friend’s response, but then just shrugged. And said, “Well, are we doing this or what already then? Dipper might be home any minute now.”
Before Mabel could say anything, Soos piped up, after awhile of being lost in thought.
“I am still not sure about this little dudes. I am worried about little bro too, but looking through his search history seems like trespassing on like, sacred ground or something. I don’t know if we should actually do this.”
“If you don’t feel up to doing this, you can just, leave, and pretend me and Wendy are just hanging out together. Talking about boys and stuff. You know, normal things like that. I don’t want to force you to do this, Soos, but I want Dipper, but he is closing me out right now. So I feel like I need to find out what is bugging him some other way. I am going to do this no matter what. …Rather you are here or not, Soos.”
And with a lower voice, Mabel also mumbled, “I am sorry.” Even if Soos, and maybe even Mabel herself didn’t know exactly what she was apologizing for.
Soos, once again lost in thought, kept sitting in thought in Mabel’s bed for a bit, not leaving, and then, just moved even closer to Mabel, and nodding to Mabel, said, “Let’s do this. Let’s help Dipper.”
Mabel smiled slowly and widely at that, until her face turned more serious and somber again, as she started looking through Dipper’s search history (which Dipper hadn’t bothered to erase. At least, not yet. Maybe if he hadn’t been so down in the dumps lately, he would have been more paranoid, and erased it. Not that he had even erased stuff for awhile before becoming more moody again recently. …He had more things to worry about, Mabel mused sadly).
Mabel, whispering, “Ok, let's start at dates from right after “the event”, which is, wow, 5 ½ months ago now. It has already almost been half a year since then. Since Dipper…”, Mabel struggled to finish the rest, “died, but wasn’t actually dead dead, and became a…a”,
She was able to say more, but not the rest. It was still sometimes hard to say. Sometimes Mabel, though she had come to accept it. Because not doing so, just wasn’t going to help, she had come to learn. And if she accepted it, it was easier for Dipper to start to accept it too. But, even though she had come to accept it. It wasn’t like accepting it had come super easy. And sometimes, Mabel just, tried not to think about, or just tried to pretend what had happened to Dipper, to them, that everything that had happened and that is continuing to happen was just normal and not really such a big deal really. And in a way, it is not like she was wrong, on the former at least. All this was “normal”, at least it was for them now. It certainly was a “big deal” though, so many of these things that have happened. But again, Mabel just liked to pretend things were just fine; bury her stress and worries. But they had an uncomfortable habit to come bubbling back up to the surface.
She shook herself out of her mind, after it had trailed off there for so long, Wendy and Soos (at least Mabel think Soos was starting to take notice. Sometimes Soos could be quite the enigma) were starting to take notice. And actually properly got to work looking through some of Dipper’s search history/activity.
Dipper’s Search history and activity on SEARCHEMUP:
About less than 5 ½ months ago: Not a lot right after “the event”. Which is, understandable. Dipper couldn’t even become physical very easily right away, after he “died”. They had to summon him, and even now, while Dipper is becoming better at bringing himself to the physical realm without a summons, summoning Dipper still allows for him to stay for way longer periods of time. Or he had to possess people (with deals usually needed to do so). Which Dipper, was not the most super inclined to do. He allowed himself to possess her more than most, but even with Mabel, it could take some coaxing.
Anyways…, moving on to a bit more recent, Mabel thought…
5 months ago, a Monday: I died, but I came back, anyone else experienced something similar?
Hmmm, not that weird of a thing to ask after what Dipper went through. Though, it is somehow both personal and vague at the same time.
Still 5 months ago, a Wednesday: Anyone died, and came back as something else, that is not a ghost?
Ok, he is getting a bit more specific here. Though he is still leaving out the “D” word. Playing it careful, or just doesn’t really want to use that word still. Could be both honestly.
4 months ago, 3 weeks ago: My parents hate me. What can I do, so they like me more?
Dipper, you didn’t need to do anything to make them love you more. You aren’t to blame for our parents deciding to treat you like a monster, instead of their son.
……
As horrible as this was though, Mabel didn’t think it was their parents that were mainly eating away at Dipper. Maybe it ate away at her brother some. But she and her brother have worked through issues with their parents a lot together. Others have helped a lot too. Like Gruknle Stan. So Mabel didn’t think this was the thing that had Dipper so gloomy lately. She would still keep their parents in mind though; for when she tried to make her brother feel better.
4 months ago, a week ago: I don’t think our parents will ever like me anymore. What should I do?
Mabel was so glad they no longer lived with their parents anymore. And now lived in Gravity Falls. With their REAL family. A family that would actually stick by them.
About 3 months and two weeks ago, a Wednesday: 1st Search: Demons.
2nd Search: For people who have dealt with demons, what was that like? What was the demon like?
3rd Search: Do demons always have to be bad?
Finally mentioned the “D” word. Kept it impersonal though. Well, somewhat, at least. Maybe, saying instead he kept it disconnected (mostly) directed from himself would be more accurate here. Which honestly, is probably for the best. Though, the 2nd one is asking for personal stories. And the 3rd one is very personal; though for people not in the know, it wouldn’t be personal. Maybe a bit of a weird question. But not a personal one.
But it is actually a personal question; a very personal one too. And concerning too. It hurts Mabel’s heart to hear Dipper type out something like this. …He isn’t a bad person. Mabel doesn’t think this is the main thing upsetting Dipper right now, but it could be. And either way, Mabel needs to make sure Dipper stops thinking such things of himself. She will cheer him up!
3 months ago, a Friday: 1st Search: How to put out demonic fire?
2nd Search: How to trim claws?
3rd Search: How to declaw claws?
4th Search: Tips for taking care of and dealing with fangs, in animals.
These ones aren’t really concerning (...except one). Kind of funny and cute honestly to see Dipper searching these kinds of things up. …Trying to live with these new changes to his body. And that “declawing” search is just not good. Like, declawing sounds painful. It is one thing to like shapeshift or glamour them away. Which Mabel is hoping Dipper can do properly someday. But to try to actually physically remove his claws. A part of his body like that. Just gives Mabel the yucks.
Makes Mabel worried that he might want to do something similar with his fangs, or even, Mabel shivers, his ears. Oh no, Mabel is making herself sad again. She was finding these searches more funny and light-hearted than some other ones, but now, well, they still are in some ways. Other ways, not so much. Anyways! Dippin’ Dots and herself are going to work on some self-love and self-image love together!
2 months and 2 weeks ago, a Tuesday: Humans can become vampires. But are there ways for non-human beings to become human (again)?
So he was still searching and hoping he could still become human again at this point? I mean, makes sense, it hadn’t been too long since he became a demon (And just because Dipper had started to accept how things were more, doesn’t mean he had completely accepted it). And Dipper is not one to give up easily. But at the same time, Mabel worries that if Dipper can’t ever find a way to turn back, the longer he keeps thinking he maybe can, biting her lip, the more crushed he will feel, when he, maybe never finds a way to turn back. Not that Mabel is not hoping he does somehow find a way. But Mabel just worries how Dipper will feel if it doesn’t happen.
Maybe this is the main thing upsetting Dipper right now? Or maybe it is just a combo of many things. Mabel is starting to suspect that might be the case at this point. Mabel is still going to keep looking through some more of the search history though. There might be more important things to learn.
2 months ago: Witnessed the deaths of cultists. I feel bad, but less bad than I think I should feel. Especially after the 2nd or 3rd time it happened. Is that bad? Is that wrong?
Oh this, Dipper had just killed some cultists that had him AND her. It was at least the 2nd or 3rd time it had happened. That Dipper had to kill some of the cultists. I think the more recent one he might be referencing here were not ones that summoned him, but ones Mabel and he had found out were kidnapping people in Gravity Falls (like, did they not learn from Bill, what can happen when you deal with demons?! And killing people on the altar to a demon is just a no go. Tbf on them, some of them did seem to be outsiders. Though, they were some locals. Luckily, not ones either of them really knew. But still, not great); the place where they lived! Dipper shouldn’t feel bad about this.
She understands why he would feel bad. As inclined to fight as violence as her brother be. And sometimes even bloodthirsty. Even before the whole demonic transformation (which is all Bill’s fault. She will never forgive Bill for all the pain he has caused). Dipper still has a good heart. Kind of loose morals sometimes. But like their Grunkle Stan, who also has pretty loose morals, he is still a protective person with a good heart. Mabel needs to file this away in her mind; to keep in mind when it comes to how Dipper has been acting lately. Mabel needs to figure out ways to show Dipper he is not a bad person. Demon or not.
1 month, 3 weeks ago: Someone wants to hold a party for me to celebrate me still being alive. Which is nice. But I don’t know if I really want to celebrate it, since there are bad memories involved and bad things that came out of me “surviving”. What should I do? What do I tell this person?
This is kind of a long search. Dipper was really stressing out about this. I, is Dipper upset at me for this? I think he is talking about the party that I was planning in a couple weeks. To celebrate his half a year anniversary of coming back to them alive. Well, not exactly alive. But not exactly dead either. Which is everything to me, to us. But to Dipper, am I just reminding him about how he “died” to Bill and how, him surviving didn’t come without major cost. Becoming a demon. Should I, not do this party after all? I should at least talk to him about the party to start with. Discreetly. To try to make it so he doesn’t find out about our snooping.
1 month, 1 week ago: Keeps floating too high. What to do?
Hahah, this one is just silly. Yeah, Dipper can have problems with floating up way too high. Got stuck on the ceiling a couple of times. He is very good at floating (if anything, floating/levitating has become more natural to him than walking), but sometimes there are fumbles. It’s so funny.
3 weeks ago: Am I a monster?
Oh Dipper, you aren’t a monster. Dipper has had so many things on his mind. No wonder he has been feeling down. If he is feeling these kinds of things, it makes sense why he might want to be keeping his distance from people, and have some more personal alone time.
2 weeks ago: How to prevent the loss of people I care about?
1 week ago: Will I end up alone?
3 days ago: Will everyone end up leaving one day?
These 3 entries. Dipper, you are that worried and scared about these things? They are weighing you down so much. Dipper… Of course you would feel so glum if you are thinking about these things so much. Luckily! Mabel has experience about similar feelings. Which Dipper once cheered her up on, and helped her through on them. And now, Mabel is going to do the same!
Mabel suddenly got up, which startled both Soos and Wendy (who had gotten up off the floor to sit on the bed too, and to look at the computer with both Soos and Mabel.
Where she then shouted. “I know how to start helping Dipper feel better now! Which involves talking to him. So let’s go find Dipper. Right now!”
Mabel was very excited and motivated now to use the knowledge she gathered to help cheer Dipper up.
She was determined.
Wendy and Soos just looked at each other at this declaration, and then turned back to look at Mabel and replied,
“Then let’s get going then, Mabel”, Wendy said in a laid back way, but with an edge to it. Also wanting to help Dipper, but being more restrained in showing this, than Mabel.
“I’m in. Let’s go help the little man.” Soos said with a quiet calmness, but also just as wanting to help his best friend as the others.
Mabel smiled hugely, put back (she thinks. She wasn’t really caring as much at the moment about hiding the evidence of her too snooping. She was too ready and excited to get out of there to find Dipper) the computer where she got after closing out the pages she opened to show the history and activity. And rushed out the attic door, with Wendy and Soos in tow.
Where they would keep running out the front door of the Mystery Shack, which Stan would see them do, think they are weird, and then keep going on about his day, thinking whatever is going, it is probably fine. Though, in the back of his mind, he was thinking if they weren’t back soon, he would go out looking for them. And even if they were back soon, he might ask what has been going on with them (and Dipper and his brother for that matter too, if he sees him. They have both been acting a bit weird, even for them, lately).
Mabel, Wendy, and Soos would proceed to search the woods until they found Dipper.
And in which they did. What happens next, is a tale for another time maybe.
But just know, they were able to cheer up and help Dipper. His worries and stress didn’t completely go away of course, and sometimes he would regress. But for that moment in time, they were able to be there to support him. And that is all that really matters in the end.