Chapter Text
30 May 2186, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
“Em?”
Mom-dar on full alert, Emily Alenko’s eyes flew open, her husband’s voice tickling her ear. Dreams and darkness fled, traded for a slow, deep, calming breath. For years it had stood her in good stead, seeing her and her son through to adulthood.
And it hadn’t disappeared once he was off on his own.
“Hmm?” Rolling onto her side, she glanced over her husband’s prone form to the clock on his side of the bed. 5:47 AM. The rush of adrenaline that coursed through her at being woken from deep sleep now fading, she smiled to herself.
Poor Andriy had never been fond of mornings. “Kaidan’s awake,” he mumbled, sleep still holding tight.
A soft click beyond their bedroom door added weight to Andriy’s comment. It was enough to get her moving.
Brushing a gentle kiss to his cheek, she patted his shoulder and slipped from the warm bed. Years of practice had her toes finding slippers laid to rest the night before in their usual place, just to the left of the nightstand on her side of the bed even as she reached for her robe and pulled it on.
Barely on her feet, she noticed growing brightness from beneath the lower edge of the door. If Kaidan was awake this early, it likely meant he’d received his summons from the Defense Committee. And if he had to face the Defense Committee, he would need breakfast first. Shuffling out of the room, she twisted her dark locks on top of her head in a haphazard knot with the hair tie she always kept in her robe pocket and moved down the hall.
The aroma of brewing coffee assaulted her senses as she rounded the corner into the kitchen, and her nose crinkled just a bit. You are your father’s son, aren’t you? The room was mostly dark, lit by the hall lighting, and it took her a minute to locate him. Covering a yawn with her hand, she entered the room and headed straight for the electric kettle. “Good morning.”
The kitchen wasn’t huge, but it was warm and comfortable, and for years had been the heart of the Alenko flat in Vancouver. Where most people liked to congregate in large rooms with huge vid screens, Emily and her family had always enjoyed gathering around the table, a hot drink and freshly baked muffins or some other treat always at the ready.
This morning was no different. Kaidan stood on the far side by the large paned windows, staring out at the brightening skies over English Bay. As if in support of her assessment, he was dressed in his BDUs, his hair still damp from his shower.
Emily had served long enough in the Alliance to recognize the signs. There was no doubt about it; today was the day.
Still, not one to assume anything, she decided that verbal verification wouldn’t hurt. “The Defense Committee finally call you in?” she asked.
He didn’t answer immediately. That was fine; it gave her time to set the kettle to boiling and collect her usual mug – Galaxy’s Best Mom , a gift from Kaidan years before for her birthday – tea leaves, cream, and sugar.
But as she closed the refrigerator and looked over at him again, his gaze was still focused out over the bay, as if he hadn’t heard her. Interesting. “Kaidan?”
Kaidan blinked, seemingly startled out of his musings. Their eyes met and for the briefest of moments, Emily thought she saw...fear, or at the very least unease, behind them. Something almost reminiscent of when he’d come back home after the debacle at BAaT nearly two decades before.
“I asked –”
“I...heard you.” His voice was rough, less his usual gravelly morning baritone and something more akin to sleep deprived. Shaking his head once, shaking off cobwebs or chasing away unpleasant thoughts, the only sound between them was the sharp inhale of breath through his nose that broke the otherwise quiet room. With one last clearing of his throat, he replied, “Yeah. They want me in by 0800.”
Emily glanced at the clock in the kitchen. That gave them an hour, maybe a little less, for breakfast and would still leave him plenty of time to fight traffic across town to Alliance HQ. “Well then.” She pulled the refrigerator open once more. “Cheesy eggs okay?”
He huffed a laugh as his gaze dropped away, just a hint of pink flushing his cheeks and a surprisingly bashful smile crossing his face. “Sure, Mom. Cheesy eggs would be great.”
Retrieving the egg carton and a package of shredded cheese, Emily set them aside and went in search of her favorite frying pan and spatula. Scrambled eggs with cheese had always been Kaidan’s favorite way to start the day, ever since he’d been little, back in the days before they knew what biotics were and how they would change his life. Back when all they had to worry about was being a family, and a happy one at that.
A loud burbling burp sounded from across the room as the coffee maker finished its brewing cycle. Emily cracked two eggs into the bowl, pausing before cracking two more. But the usual half smile at her insistence on cracking eggs against the counter instead of the edge of the bowl didn’t appear on Kaidan’s face. He remained at the window staring out over the bay. Returning the eggs to the fridge, she found the mug he had pulled out and filled it for him.
Her son was a simple man with simple tastes most of the time, and thankfully that extended to how he took his coffee. Black, no cream, no sugar.
Steaming mug in hand, she moved across the room to stand next to him. This window had one of the loveliest views in the entire flat. “Kaidan, what’s troubling you?” she asked as she handed over the mug.
His eyes widened and darted back to meet hers. It didn’t last long, morphing a smile of thanks as he took the drink. “Just...a lot to think about, I guess,” he said before taking a careful sip.
A lot , indeed. Emily could hardly argue that point. A commanding officer back from the dead, now under house arrest for having worked with the terrorist group Cerberus. An alien invasion imminent, with no idea when or where or how. Having to testify before the Defense Committee about said commanding officer and, if she had to guess, the future invasion in order to determine what steps the Alliance should take next. Not a task for the faint of heart.
“Are you worried what the Committee is going to ask?” She left the question vague on purpose. A leading one. One she hoped might gently prod him into confiding the truth to her, or at least give her a few more clues to work with.
Kaidan shook his head. “If I’m honest, I’m more worried what they might see in what I say.”
His response triggered a slow, barely formed smile at the corners of Emily’s lips.
Almost three years before, Kaidan had come home on leave after the destruction of the SSV Normandy and confided in her about the loss of twenty of their crew as well as their commanding officer, Commander Shepard. For days, Kaidan had sat around the orchard, withdrawn and quiet, hiding behind a wall he refused to let break. It had taken a week of this and a broken dinner plate before he gave in and shared with her all he could about that mission. About the man who had led them. About the man Kaidan had come to care so much about, more than regs formally allowed. He’d spared no details, telling her of the threat the galaxy now faced, of how the Council refused to acknowledge the Reapers as a threat, of how Alliance Command was following the Council’s example.
To say that it had been painful to watch her son ache so badly after losing the love of his life and have those in positions of authority completely disregard what had been proven to be a valid threat was an understatement. They had stayed up all night at that table. She’d held his hand when he reached for hers, hugged him when he needed consolation, and most importantly, listened to what he had to say.
And after two years, he had started to heal. As much as he could, anyway.
But then he’d come home for a brief leave between assignments, this time with the news that Shepard was alive. Grief and pain had turned to anger and betrayal, two things he’d not dealt with well in the past. They had another all-night session at the table and Emily had done her best to talk him through it, encouraging him to channel those feelings a different way.
Now, looking beyond the obvious, it was clear to her, at least, that some of those old feelings were still present, buried but not deep enough.
It was time to put that in check, or he really might have an issue with the Committee. “You still care.”
It was a statement rather than a judgment, though her smile was a bit softer and wider than before.
Kaidan’s gaze narrowed and his jaw twitched. The emotions she had seen just seconds before disappeared, a mask slamming into place, and his tone had a hint of warning in it. “Mom...”
Emily leaned up on her toes to press a quick kiss to his cheek. “Just like that, Kaidan,” she told him. “The Committee won’t see anything if you hide it just like that.”
The mask remained in place for a second longer until amusement got the better of him. A soft puff of air escaped as he huffed, and his lips slid into a lop-sided smile. Sliding an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her close for a moment as he murmured into her hair, “Thanks, Mom. I knew I could count on you.”
Emily stepped away when his arm fell to his side, and she turned her attention back to breakfast. “Why don’t you make the toast while I finish the eggs.”
“Sure.”
They worked well together as a team – they always had – and fifteen minutes later, Emily set two plates filled with cheesy eggs and toast on the table. Taking her chair, she waited for him to sit before she spoke again. “Your father and I decided to head back to the orchard this morning.”
Like most soldiers Emily had known over the years, Kaidan shoveled his food into his mouth with the speed and determination of one who didn’t know when he might get another home cooked meal. With his mouth full, he could only nod in response. After swallowing and then taking a quick drink of his coffee, he said, “Sounds like a good plan to me. Depending how the meeting with the Committee goes, I may be here another day or two before I can join you.”
“Your leave is through the end of the week, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
Emily poked at her eggs, chewing on a mouthful thoughtfully for a moment. “We can leave the car here so you can head out whenever you’re done.” As she took a nibble of her toast, she tilted her head slightly to the left, her ‘thinking pose,’ Kaidan often called it. Finally sighing, she muttered, “I really wish your uncle would do something to speed this whole process up. If you and Shepard are right, we would do far better to have him helping us prepare for the Reapers.”
Kaidan chuckled, as well he should. As tempting as it might be, Emily would never go through with contacting her brother about such a thing, certainly not without Kaidan’s approval first, and Kaidan was well aware of that. But instead of harsh words or chastisement of any kind at the idea, her son simply teased her. “Preferential treatment, Mom? That’s new.”
Emily threw a mock scowl in his direction as she pointed the corner of her toast at him, arguing, “There are far more important things to worry about right now than whether Shepard worked for Cerberus, don’t you think?”
She hated watching his smile fade, still she’d made her point. But at what cost? “Kaidan –”
Lips twisting wryly, he shook his head. “No. Mom, it’s okay. You’re right. And Shepard would say you’re right, too.” He paused, fork halfway to his lips, then lowered it back to the plate before sighing. Reaching across the table, he opened a hand to her. Emily placed hers in it without hesitation. Closing his around hers, he added, “You know I’m going to be out there on the front lines when they do show, right?”
The ache that had blossomed three years ago when he’d first told her about the Reapers and their intentions flared to the surface once more, spreading through her like a terrible fog and making it a challenge to find her voice. Taking a slow, deep breath, she assured him, “I know.” Somehow, she found a smile. “The life of an Alliance marine.”
Kaidan nodded, squeezing her hand. “Right.”
Taking a deep breath, she decided if he could be up front and honest with her, she could do the same with him. “Your father and I have talked about that as well. He is of the opinion – and I am in full agreement – that we should head out to the orchard for the duration. We’ll do more good out there than here in the city.”
His mask returned again, cold and hard and thicker than the walls to their home. Still, he couldn’t hide the twitch that flitted through his hand where it touched hers. Squeezing back, she murmured, “We’ve both served before, Kaidan. The Alliance is going to need every recruit they’ve ever had if we’re going get through this.”
“I know.”
A few minutes of silence passed between them, each focusing on their meal but not releasing hold of the other just yet. When the weight of that silence became too much, Emily broke it. “Your father and I are so proud of you, Kaidan. Of what you’ve accomplished in your life, of the man you’ve become. You know that, don’t you?”
Heat returned to his cheeks as he squeezed her hand once more before releasing it. “I do.”
“But?”
“No but,” he was quick to insist. “Just...worried, is all. I want you and Dad to stay safe.”
“How can we stay safe when innocent people need protection?” she countered.
Sighing heavily, he nodded. “No, I get that, and honestly, I expect nothing less from either of you. It’s just...”
In the front room of the flat, the clock chimed 0700. They were running out of time and there was one thing she still needed to do.
Rising to her feet, she said, “Finish your eggs. I’ll be right back.”
In the months since Kaidan had warned them of the Reapers, Emily and Andriy had spent many an evening talking and planning for the future. Something about this morning’s discussion with her son drove her now, the urgency to fulfill one of those plans before he left. She couldn’t explain why – he was supposed to be with them again later in the week, but she knew all too well that military life didn’t always conform to the wishes of its soldiers. With that in mind, she headed into the front room and grabbed a box off the shelf.
It was time.
Back in the kitchen, she set the box on the table in front of Kaidan. Small and wooden, it had carvings of woodland animals on it, but it was what was inside that was important. Leaning over, she kissed the top of his head, saying, “It isn’t much, but I want you to have this.”
When Kaidan had been a young child, there had never been occasion to wonder about his reaction to a gift; ever free and open with his emotions, he had been easy to read. His experiences at BAaT had changed that, and in his adult years he was much more contained and controlled. But now, as she watched her son take the small box in his hands and lift the lid, as his eyes focused on the contents inside, she caught just a wisp of that old, childlike abandon as they widened in shock and surprise.
“Mom, I can’t...”
Emily dropped back into her chair, fighting to whisper through her tears, “It’s yours now, honey.”
Reaching inside, Kaidan pulled out a pocketknife. It was an old thing – generations old – that had been handed down through her family over the years. There wasn’t anything particularly special or spectacular about it other than it was the only thing Emily had that belonged to family. At the time, her brother hadn’t wanted it and insisted she keep it.
Over the years, Andriy had helped Emily keep it in good condition; a good proper cleaning and oiling every once in a while. The blades were sharp as ever, and the ivory casing had only one crack in it. But the most special thing about it in her mind was the engraved quote on the side. Man must understand his universe to understand his destiny.**
Holding it in the flat of his palm, Kaidan said, “You know, we have omni-tools for a reason.”
“You never know when you might need it in a pinch,” she chided gently. “If the network goes down or your ‘tool gets hacked.” It wasn’t likely, of course, given Kaidan’s experience with technology, but there was always the chance.
“You guys might have more need of it than me,” he insisted as he reverently turned it over to read the inscription.
Reaching over, Emily closed his fingers around the ancient tool. “Kaidan, you know as well as I do that it’s more than just a knife. It’s a memory of all of us. Together. As a family.”
And it was. Both she and Andriy had used it as a way to teach Kaidan about his personal past, but also more than that. From camping and fishing trips to simple fixes around the orchard house or Vancouver flat, to using it to using it as a manipulative to practice his biotics in those early days, before and after BAaT.
There was reluctance – or maybe just plain stubbornness – but he finally nodded and slipped it into his pocket. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll take good care of it.”
“I know you will.”
This time as silence wrapped around them, it was less oppressive. Within minutes, they finished their food and Kaidan even managed a second cup of coffee. But too soon, he rose to his feet and set his dishes in the sink. “I’ve got to get going or I’m going to be late,” he said before kissing Emily’s cheek.
Emily rose and followed him into the front hallway so she could give him a hug at the door. “You know where we will be when the Committee is done with you,” she said while using her hand to smooth out the front of his uniform. “Things will work out; I just know they will.” She really believed that. She had to.
She wanted to meet this Commander Shepard, to find out why Kaidan cared so much.
“Thanks, Mom. I’ll see you later.”
After closing the door behind him, Emily stood there with her back against it for a long minute. Whatever had driven her to give Kaidan the knife before they parted ways today was still there, prodding insistently in her chest. She’d never believed in premonitions or the like, but something about this was unrelenting. Heaving a sigh, she headed towards the bedroom to wake Andriy. Whether he wanted to get up or not, it was time. They had a shuttle to catch in less than an hour.