Work Text:
Jo hasn't drawn a lot lately, mostly because he's been struggling with a specific portrait in his small collection. He has drawn all members from memory, maybe the sketches aren't perfect but they're decent.
All but one.
Tonight, the maknae line (which includes Yuma, despite his complaining) settles on having a hotel sleepover, hosted by Jo, Yuma and Harua who were sharing their room this time and very obviously had the biggest one. Jo likes these little moments where they get to forget they’re idols and go back to just… Being kids.
Maybe this will distract him from his artist's block.
There’s a large spread of snacks on the carpeted floor, courtesy of Harua who had studied the convenience stores and supermarkets nearby.
He was, of course, hauled along with him and Maki to carry all the bags.
Jo watches Harua and Maki interact, bickering as usual, Maki teases Harua and Harua fights back complaining about how Maki is overbearing and annoying. The tallest knows well this is just part of Harua’s bluff, and Maki probably can tell too from the way Harua blushes in the end.
Both just look at each other, laughing along and Jo watches them fondly with a question at the tip of his tongue.
“… How does it feel?”
“How does what feel?” Harua blinks and looks over at Jo, who quickly lowers his gaze to the pavement.
“… Being in love.”
“Uhh…” Maki finds this question extremely awkward, blushing at the thought himself. He doesn’t look at Harua because he knows he’s just going to embarass him more.
“Who’s in love? What… What a strange question.” Harua mumbles. “If I was in love though, which I am not, but if I were… I’d probably say it feels weird.”
“Weird how?” Maki raises an eyebrow. “Is it that bad?”
“Well… Y-You should know.” Harua pouts. “You’re the expert here after all.”
“I’m the expert? I mean, yeah no doubt but it’s not weird it’s just… It’s nice. It’s fun.”
Harua pretends his heart doesn’t skip a beat.
Jo looks at them in confusion. “… But aren’t you two in love…?” Did he miss something?
“What?!” Both Maki and Harua gasp simultaneously, tightening the grip onto the bag they’re carrying together. Jo can swear they distribute the weight just to be able to hold each other’s pinkies in public.
“Sorry.. I didn’t mean to assume.” Jo smiles sheepishly. “Lets keep going.”
“No, wait. Okay, you’ve never been in love. Have you had a crush tho?”
“A crush?”
“You’re not telling me you’ve NEVER felt anything for anyone.”
“Riki!” Harua slaps Maki’s arm softly. “There’s people who never do and they live their lives just fine!”
“Sorry! I’m just genuinely curious. Uhhh… Well, crushes feel like…”
“It’s annoying.” Harua chuckles, causing Maki to quickly turn at him.
“Excuse me?”
“Everything Maki does is annoying to you.” Jo laughs lightly.
“You asked me how it feels and I’m telling you how it feels. It’s this feeling you can’t shake off and that slowly takes over your head and your heart and-“ Harua pauses, feeling his cheeks flush. “Yeah.”
Maki bites his bottom lip trying to fight back the need to say something.
He fails.
“It feels like you’re about to burst whenever that person does something cute. And whenever they look at you and smile you want to scream. It’s amazing.”
“So… It’s annoying… And amazing…”
“In a nutshell.” Maki nods, gently rubbing Harua’s hand with his pinky.
“Aaaaaaah!” Harua whines and crouches on the sidewalk, covering his red face. “Please stop talking.”
The youngest laughs lightly down at Harua, then turns to Jo. “Go ahead. We’ll catch up."
Jo nods slowly and continues walking towards the hotel, still thinking about Harua and Maki. If he had to describe their love he’d have to say it’s too big to put into words and that’s probably what’s frustrating them at times. He looks back at them from the hotel’s door, smiling to himself.
Harua hits Maki's chest gently with his fists, Maki laughs and holds him, Harua just disappears in Maki's form.
So this is love for them. How does it look for him though?
The night goes smoothly, they talk, they dance and laugh together. They even get invaded by the hyung line who come along to play games, they're all having big fun which makes Jo want to go to his sketchbook and capture the moment. It's a small, navy leather book he keeps carefully tucked away underneath his pillow.
EJ notices Jo has moved back to his bed and decides to accompany him, sitting right beside him. "Everything okay?"
"Ah, yes, I just wanted to..."
"Take a picture with your eyes?" The leader smiles sweetly, nodding in agreement. "That's a good decision. Can I see?"
Jo nods and hands EJ his sketchbook, who flips through a few pages proudly. He has definitely improved.
"There's sketches of almost all of us here... Someone is missing though."
Nicholas watches them from the corner of his eye and makes his way to the bed too, laying down next to them. EJ shows him a few sketches of himself and the other nods. "Who's missing in the sketches?"
"Taki-kun seems to be missing."
Jo blinks and shrugs, looking away. His red ears give his embarrassment away, so Nicholas sits up at that and raises an eyebrow. "There's like three of me there."
"Hyung is easy to draw."
"Are you trying to pick up a fight?" The eldest teases.
EJ laughs at that but can sense there's something making Jo uncomfortable. He places an encouraging hand on his shoulder and just looks at him. That one knowing look moms have that makes you want confess.
"Hyung..." Jo blurts out, immediately regretting it.
"Hm?"
"No, nevermind."
"You know you can tell me anything, don't worry. Would you like to go elsewhere and talk?"
Jo feels self-conscious, but the chance is too tempting not to take it. "Ahhh.. Yeah."
EJ nods and stands up. "Jo and I are going to get more drinks."
"Can I come? I'm all out of soda!" Taki beams.
Jo panics and exits the room instantly. EJ blinks and looks at Taki, then at Nicholas who quickly gets on his feet. "Actually, you come with me, we gotta get more ramen."
The leader takes Jo to the room he shares with Nicholas at the end of the hall, motioning him to sit down on the bed with him.
"I suddenly realized something and now I can't stop thinking about it. Hyung, how did you know you were in love?"
Euijoo is taken aback at the sudden question, but quickly pieces everything together. "Well... I wanted to know everything about this person. I used to want to spend all the time with them, I would pay attention to everything they did and liked... Something like that." He admits shyly, trying to hide behind a smile the fact that he was thinking about this more seriously than he should have.
"You really do know everything about Nicholas hyung."
"I guess I do-" EJ stops and looks at Jo, shocked.
"... It's no secret, really." Jo smiles sheepishly.
"I guess it's not."
"I think... I might understand now."
🌸🌸🌸
The set of Samidare quiets down after a long day of filming, only the clattering of equipment being put away by the staff echoes in the property. Jo keeps thinking about how he'd like to draw everything he's seen, but his hands seem to have a different idea always urging him to attempt the missing sketch.
He leans against a tree and looks up at the blue sky through the blooming branches.
"Jo hyung!" Taki waves at him, his footsteps bringing him back to reality. "You went off by yourself again."
"Ah... Yeah, I just wanted to look around. Were you looking for me?"
"Always." Taki responds with an honest smile. "It takes you back doesn't it? There's petals everywhere, you know, I used to like shaking trees and playing under the flowers."
"Doesn't that hurt the trees?"
"Yeah, I guess it does." Taki furrows his eyebrows, seeming to be deep in thought.
Jo notices this and feels a little guilty for ruining what seemed to be such a nice memory but the expression on Taki's face is precious enough to outweigh the guilt. "If you do it gently... Maybe..."
Taki seems hesitant, looking up at the tree as if he wanted to ask it for permission.
Without giving it much thought Jo reaches to give the branches a few gentle shakes, sending a flurry of petals swirling around them. Taki looks up at Jo with big eyes before starting to go around the tree trying to catch the falling petals. He laughs at how they tickle him, he screams when a few of them get in his neck and underneath his shirt and he struggles to reach and dump some onto Jo as well. Taki's playfulness is contagious and Jo finds himself creating pools of petals in his hands to decorate the shortest with pinks and whites, happy suits him the best.
The wind carries the storm of cherry blossoms wrapping around them as Jo watches on. Taki entangles his heart in the beautiful chaos of the moment, it was like if time itself slowed down to allow him to take it all in.
"Hyung, your ears are red!"
"Ah.. Yeah..."
"What are you thinking about?"
"You."
Sailing towards you on this breeze
I bet my all
My heart pounding loudly
Swaying, swaying, baby, baby
Swaying, swaying, baby, baby
Up, up, up, up
Not by chance, but by destiny
Here I met you
My heart pounding loudly
Swaying, swaying, baby, baby
Swaying, swaying, baby, baby
Up, up, up
Nights spent trying to draw in vain, trying to force his brain to produce something he can't quite comprehend. The complexity of a simple sketch is almost too overwhelming and sketches aren't supposed to be perfect. He keeps ripping off pages, giving up on traces and almost giving up on drawing entirely.
The hard pounding against his chest, the dimple making smiles, a faint smell of cherry blossoms he can't put to words. The stories about his childhood, the feelings trees might harbor...
Love is annoying.
Love is amazing.
Love is all-knowing.
He knows now what love looks like, but why is it so hard to capture?