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The memorial wall was a solemn place, and not one that young Brendol had visited before. He stood at parade rest, a tiny figure next to his imposing father. He knew his place, and knew what was expected of him. He would be quiet and proper, and would not cry.
It was all his fault.
He had let slip too much. She wasn’t supposed to have said those things to him, and he had told his father. The rage had been beyond anything he had ever seen.
He knew what the servants were whispering. His father had beaten her to death with his bare hands, then killed the gardener, Elto, who had always been kind to her, and blamed him.
But Brendol knew it was his fault.
There was a pause in the speeches, and all eyes turned to him. The small boy stepped up to the plaque on the wall. He laid a bouquet of star orchids in front of it. They had been her favorite. He paused, then tensed at the impatient twitch of his father’s fingers.
“Goodbye, Mother,” he whispered.
He stepped back to his father’s side, face impassive, eyes cold.
*****
Hux winced as he walked towards the wall. His bruised ribs were still healing, and movement sent pain flaring. Still, it was a price worth paying.
He knelt in front of the plaque, and laid a single orchid on the shelf. He was watched too closely, and had only been able to steal this from the gardens.
“Hello, Mother.”
He traced his fingers over her name gently, then sighed. “I can’t stay long this time. He’s sending me to the Academy tomorrow, and wants to have a few last words before I go.”
“Still, I think it might be better now. More eyes on us, so he can’t do as much.”
He sighed, then bowed his head.
“I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I will think of you. I’ll never forget.”
“Goodbye, Mother.”
*****
A trim figure in First Order uniform walked up to the wall. It knelt, regardless of the grass and debris, holding a small bouquet. A smile crossed the solemn face.
“Hello, Mother.”
He stayed silent for long minutes.
“They’ve promoted me. I’m a commander now, with men under me and everything.”
“He can’t touch me anymore. I don’t have to go back on my leaves, and he’s not welcome on my ship.”
“I’m sorry that I can’t come more often. I missed so many years, and then we were on maneuvers last year.”
He touched the plaque tenderly.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Goodbye, Mother.”
*****
Hux walked down the path eagerly, with a figure like a dark crow trailing behind him. He knelt in front of the plaque, and pulled the other man down next to him.
“Hello, Mother.”
“I…I wanted to introduce someone to you. His name is Kylo Ren.”
He turned to the other man, then rolled his eyes. “Take off your mask, you idiot, and say hello.”
Ren disengaged his mask, scowling at his lover. “I don’t know what you expect me to say.”
“Say hello.”
Ren turned to the plaque, and sighed. “Hello, ma’am. He dragged me here, I’m still not entirely sure why.” He turned to Hux. “There, are you satisfied.”
“He’s a mess, Mother, but I find myself unaccountably fond of him.”
Hux went on with stories of his officers and his actions over the past year, while Ren quietly watched. After an hour, Hux sighed.
“I do have to go now, Mother. I’ll try to come back next year.”
Without prompting, Ren reached out and touched the name. “I’ll look after him as best I can, ma’am.”
Hux smiled at him.
“Goodbye, Mother.”
******
“Hux, don’t be ridiculous. You need to go.”
Hux slammed the datapad onto his desk. “Ridiculous? Oh, I’m the one being ridiculous. Kriff it all, Ren, I can’t leave. Construction on the base is at a critical phase. I have to supervise.”
“Hux…”
“Do you think this is what I want? That I wouldn’t give anything…”
He stopped, held up a hand, and grasped for control. After a moment of steady breathing, he turned to Ren. “I can’t go. It’s happened before, and it will happen again.”
Hux walked to the window. “She’ll understand,” he whispered.
Ren watched him for a few minutes, then nodded decisively. “Right. I’ll go then. What are those flowers you always take?”
Hux turned to look at him. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Oh, shut up. The flowers?”
“Star orchids. The florist in town keeps them on hand for me. Ren…”
He nodded decisively. “Anything you want me to say?”
Hux’s hands began to shake, and Ren moved in to embrace him. He felt the words whispered into his neck.
“Just that I’m sorry. I’ll try to be there next year.”
*****
As their session came to an end, Leia looked at the former general in concern. Sometimes these extended debriefings were emotionally taxing for both of them, but today was different. He seemed nervous, as he never had before.
“Hux, I hate to pry, but you don’t seem entirely yourself today.”
He smiled tightly, then looked down at this hands. “Perceptive as ever, General. I…don’t know how to do this. I have a personal favor to ask, and I don’t know how to begin.”
“Alright. Is it about Ben?”
“No, it’s…I don’t…I shouldn’t bother you. Please forget that I said anything.”
She reached across the table and touched his hand, trying to offer some comfort. It was incredibly unnerving to see the man lose his composure. “Hux, just tell me.”
“My mother. It’s my mother. Her memorial, I mean. Every year, on the anniversary of…I visit her, as often as I can, and I bring her flowers. It’s silly, I know, but…it’s all I have. And I know, I know, I can’t leave here, I just thought that maybe, somehow, you had an agent who could take the flowers for me and…”
Hux dropped his head into his hands. “No, no, you can’t. They’re hunting me, and they’ll be watching. Anyone you send will be taken and interrogated. They’ll trace the money back.”
He straightened, and rose from his chair. He stood at parade rest, and looked at Leia. “I apologize, General. Please disregard what I’ve said. Are we finished for the day?”
Leia nodded silently, and his guards came into the room and escorted him out. She stayed in her seat, thinking. A knock at the door had her looking up at her son.
“Did he ask?”
She sighed, and gestured for him to sit.
“He did something, but I’m not entirely sure what it was. His mother, I think?”
Ben sighed. “I should have been here to help. His father…you’ve figured out what a bastard he was? Hux was just a boy, maybe five or six, when he let slip that his mother had been doing terribly, unauthorized things, like saying she loved him. The old bastard beat her to death for it.”
Leia winced, and he nodded. “Exactly. He takes star orchids to her grave every year, on the anniversary. Honestly, it’s the only purely selfish he allows himself. He took me with, once, to introduce me, and it…kriff.”
“Ben, we can’t. He was right. The two of you are being hunted, and they’ll be watching for him. Sending someone would be a death sentence.”
“I know. But…there has to be something we can do.”
*****
Hux sat in a chair, quietly staring out the window. Ben walked over, and crouched down in front of him. “Walk with me?”
Hux smiled faintly, and cupped his cheek. “Maybe another time? I think I’d just like to be quiet today.”
Ben turned his face into Hux’s hand, and kissed it gently. “Please? I’d like to show you something.”
Hux closed his eyes. Ben waited quietly, knowing better than to push. “Alright then.”
They walked quietly through the base, which seemed emptier than usual. Hux knew their route must have been cleared, although the guards stayed at a discreet distance. Finally, they walked into a courtyard, and stopped.
Ben handed Hux and armful of flowers, and he looked at Ben in confusion. “I don’t understand. What…”
“Look.” Ben gestured to a wall, which was filled with names and small holos. As Hux moved closer, he saw dates and notes, small tokens and flowers. He inhaled sharply as he realized that this was the Resistance’s memorial wall.
“There’s almost never a body, and they move so often, it has to be portable. I can’t take you to her, but I thought, for now at least, this might be enough.”
Ben pointed to a small place at the base of the wall. There was a holo of a beautiful young woman, and a name. Lorindel Shan Hux.
Hux turned to him, and his expression was as raw as Ben had ever seen it. “You didn’t have to…”
“Shhh. It’s alright. I’ll be over there. Take all the time you need.”
Hux nodded, then turned and knelt at the wall. He reached out and let his hand hover over the holo, then placed the flowers on the ground. For the first time since her death, he let the tears fall as he smiled.
“Hello, Mother.”