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"Then we'd best stop him."
The words are resolute, leaving no room for argument. The silence that lingers amongst the four of them, daunting and heavy, begins to settle, and Caitlyn turns her gaze on Jayce. There's a flicker of hesitation in his eyes, snuffed out as soon as it surfaces. With a firm nod, Jayce retreats from the room, Mel trailing after him.
"I have to talk to my father," Caitlyn states, and Vi jerks up to meet her eyes. There's apprehension there, and for the first time in a while, Caitlyn feels the urge to withdraw. A fresh wave of guilt claws its way up her throat like bile, but she quickly forces it down with a clench of her jaw. She can feel Vi looking her over, eyes trailing from her face down at their hands, fingers still intertwined.
"Okay," Vi croaks, and it almost sounds timid. Noncommittal. As though she doesn't quite know what to make of Caitlyn's statement, and another wave of guilt comes rushing forth. It must show, despite there being an attempt to hide it, because Vi gives her hand a gentle squeeze. It's meant to be comforting, a silent reassurance, and Caitlyn allows herself to soften in return.
-
Tobias Kiramman is known to be a forgiving man, patient in a way her mother never was. Where Cassandra vowed to guide her daughter, shape her up to become a worthy heir of the Kiramman name, Tobias vowed to tend to all else that made Caitlyn who she is. From his quiet encouragement of his daughter's independence to her decision to become an Enforcer. Her father was always there to back her up, to lighten the load brought upon Caitlyn's shoulders in regards to her legacy, but in spite all that, his disdain at Vi's unexpected arrival is hardly a surprise. They argue back and forth, neither one willing to yield to the other. It's getting late. Caitlyn is about as drained as she looks, and her father seems to catch on. He grows quiet, the distance between them only amplified by the tension in the room.
Reluctantly, Caitlyn bids her father goodnight, exhaustion seeping into her bones as soon as the door closes behind her. With that, she begins to drag her feet through the Kiramman mansion as dread hangs over her shoulders, mocking her with each step. But Vi is still waiting right where she left her. Despite everything. And Caitlyn can't bear the thought of leaving her behind. Not again. Never again.
Eventually, Caitlyn finds herself standing outside her bedroom door. A flash of ginger flickers in the back of her mind, and with it, the knot in her stomach grows impossibly tighter. Her grip on the handle loosens in a moment of hesitation, one that she mindlessly pushes aside in favour of a newfound impulse. A soft knock on the door, followed by deafening silence. For just a moment, Caitlyn allows herself to wallow in her cowardice, her fear that Vi might as well not exist behind these walls. A figment of her imagination that is too good to be true, one she is resolutely undeserving of.
There is a pause before the door finally creaks open, powder blue eyes meeting her own under the faint light.
"Why did you knock?" Vi asks, taking a step back in order to let Caitlyn in.
Either that, or it's done out of caution, her mind helpfully chimes in. Fortunately, Caitlyn doesn't have time to mull over that thought, choosing to focus on the question laid before her instead.
"What?"
"I mean," Vi gestures around them with a wave of her hand. "This is your room..."
"I know," Caitlyn says, closing the door behind her.
"I just—"
And Caitlyn tries. She really, really tries, but the words lodge themselves in her throat regardless, threatening to suffocate her under the weight of Vi's gaze. Earnest, but not without a hint of animosity peeking through. It hurts, of course it does. More than any torture imaginable, yet Caitlyn can't find it in herself to look away. A selfish, cruel part of her wants to indulge, think back on that stolen moment between them in Stillwater. The relief in Vi's voice, the pleasure that followed, the overwhelming revelation that not all is lost.
How foolish am I?
"Stop it."
The words cause Caitlyn to flinch, but she refuses to hide. Determined, she steels her gaze, unwavering in the face of Vi's scrutiny. You're a Kiramman, her mother's words echo. A Kiramman never falters.
"Vi—"
"You don't get to do that," Vi grits, the slight tremor in her hands not going unnoticed. "Not now, not after everything."
It's said with a tone of finality, but Caitlyn recognises the conflict in her eyes. As though she can't decide between keeping it going or reining it in. Caitlyn bites the inside of her lip to keep quiet. Give her space. Cerulean eyes impossibly fixated as Vi fights to keep the rise and fall of her shoulders steady, nails digging into her palms so hard it might as well draw blood.
A beat passes, and Vi's shoulders slump forward. Her taut expression gives way to something that can only be described as defeat. She looks tired. So unbelievably tired, and that's all it takes for Caitlyn to falter. Her eyes glaze over, vision growing blurry as she inches closer, but not too close. For a moment, she can almost feel the weight of her rifle, the resounding thud of Vi dropping to her knees, and the choked sob that has haunted Caitlyn since.
"I'm sorry," Caitlyn says, voice wavering. Vi lifts her head to respond but is quickly silenced by Caitlyn raising her hand in a passive gesture. Vi shoots her an impatient glance.
"Please."
It's a soft plea, and the weight of it feels foreign on her tongue. The head of house Kiramman, a name whose legacy is engraved into the very foundations of The City of Progress, has never had to plead for anything. Or, anyone. But this is different, inescapable, and Caitlyn knows she has to get it right.
Vi sighs, though, coming from her, it sounds more like a half-hearted scoff. It ignites a spark of doubt in Caitlyn, leading her to believe she has already failed, but then Vi meets her eyes and gives a simple nod.
It's all the permission Caitlyn needs.
"I was wrong, foolish, I—" A sharp intake of breath, and the dum breaks. "—I couldn't look past my own grief, and Zaun paid the price for it. All the pain I've caused, all the suffering, that's something I will never be able to take back." The tears in the corners of her eyes threaten to fall, but this isn't about Caitlyn, never has been, so she dismisses them with a shake of her head. "I— This isn't me asking for forgiveness. I could never ask that of you. Or, anyone for that matter."
There's a pause, just long enough to sneak a glance at Vi. She hasn't moved an inch, eyes downcast, not giving anything away, but Caitlyn doesn't let that stop her.
"I know I can't possibly make up for my mistakes," her voice, which thus far has been even and unafraid, betrays a hint of fear. The Commander in her wants to bristle at the display of weakness, the cracks beginning to show, but there's no point now. Only the hope that Vi won't hold it against her, so Caitlyn bites her tongue and carries on. "But I want to try. If not for anyone else, then for you."
"Do you really think I needed all the guards at the Hexgates?"
It was a declaration of love, no matter how subtle, but Caitlyn knew as soon as the words left her that that on its own is not enough. Nothing might ever be enough, but even then, there is simply no chance she won't fight tooth and nail in the hopes that maybe, someday, it might be. The two of them sit in silence. Vi still hasn't said a word, and there's nothing to do but wait.
"Promise me..."
Her voice is so quiet Caitlyn thinks she might be imagining it, that is, until Vi breaches the space between them. They are close, close enough to feel Vi's breath ghosting over her lips, pools of grey looking up at her in earnest, and Caitlyn feels so delighted she just wants to drown in it. Despite the lack of physical contact, Caitlyn relishes the fact that Vi is still willing to trust her like this, that there's no fear to be found in her eyes. She can detect a trace of resentment, lurking beneath layers of affection and tenderness, and Caitlyn wouldn't dare ask for more. As though jolted from a dream, she rushes to respond.
"I promise."
"What?" Vi rasps, steel in her gaze. "You promise what?"
Her tone makes Caitlyn's fingers itch, desperate to reach out and soothe, to brush over bruised knuckles. But more than anything, Caitlyn doesn't want to overstep. Terrified at the prospect of violating any of Vi's boundaries. The moment shared between them in that cell clouds her mind, but that was different. Because Vi was the one to reach out, pull Caitlyn from the shadows and bathe her in the light. Even then, there was hesitation to her touches.
Vi can sense it, catching on to the slight movement of her fingers just as quickly. Their eyes lock, and Caitlyn feels a jolt of electricity run all the way down her spine. It takes a second for her to register the warmth enveloping her hand until it slowly sinks in.
Vi is holding her hand. Vi is giving her permission. And by the gods, Caitlyn is soaring.
"I promise—" She starts as her tears begin to fall, yet the comfort of Vi's hand renders her unable to care. "—I promise to never leave you again. Not for anything." It's whispered, tucked gently in the space between that now barely separates them. Without thinking, Caitlyn leans in to rest her forehead against Vi's, smiling at the sharp intake of breath it grants her. Her eyes trace over every crevice, every miniscule detail in an attempt to seal it in her memory. Vi. Her Violet.
"I promise to right my wrongs." Caitlyn pulls back to lay a gentle kiss on her forehead, a simultaneously unspoken promise etched into the skin. "In any way that I'm able to."
At that, Vi's brain seems to kick in with a hearty exhale, one which sounds suspiciously close to a laugh. There's a glint in her eyes, and Caitlyn can't brace for impact quickly enough.
"Oh yeah?" Vi asks with a slight curl of her lips. "What about Junior Officer Nolen?"
Her tone is playful, yet Caitlyn can't help but be completely caught off guard by the question. Her face flushes, a mixture of shame and embarrassment stirring in her gut.
"I— How did you—" Caitlyn stutters, brows knitting together in worry only to immediately release at the sight of Vi's barely stifled grin.
"Just messing with you, Cupcake." She says, bringing Caitlyn's hand up to softly nuzzle against her palm. A gesture clearly meant to soothe. "I already told you, didn't I? I could care less." Caitlyn scoffs but caresses Vi's cheek regardless.
"You mean you couldn't care less."
"You really couldn't give me that one?" Vi jokes, but the sincerity in her eyes is palpable.
A comfortable silence falls over them as they pull each other close. Caitlyn's hands find purchase around Vi, drawing slow circles over the fabric that hugs her skin. Vi's face is buried in the crook of her neck, inhaling softly, no doubt finding comfort in the closeness. The delicate bubble of intimacy serves to sober them up, the threat of war only a few hours away. Vi slowly breathes out, pulling away just enough to face Caitlyn. Her tears have dried up by now, though the redness in her eyes betrays her still.
"Why'd you do it?" Vi blurts out, internally cringing at how small her voice sounds, how weak, as if it's barely there to begin with. It really shouldn't surprise her. After all, if there's anyone who can break down her walls so effortlessly, it's Caitlyn.
"Which part?"
Vi does not answer. Only guide Caitlyn's hand to the wound she'd once helped heal. It happened so fast, Vi never stopped dreaming about it. The ache of betrayal forever engraved into her skin. Even now, as she stands before the woman who caused it, Vi can feel the pain take root.
"I felt cornered." Caitlyn explains, honest. "You told me to take the shot if I found an opening, but I didn't. In the moment, I—" Her hand creeps underneath Vi's shirt, hovering over the clean dressing. "—It felt like I failed at the one thing I set out to do. I was angry, but instead of blaming myself, I lashed out on you."
Two fingers reach out to grasp Vi's chin, gently urging her to look up. When she does, an overwhelming sense of relief washes over her at what she discovers in those deep pools of blue. Clarity. Ever since the explosion, Vi felt powerless to do anything but watch as the storm in Caitlyn's eyes grew darker. All the seemingly endless nights spent at her side, agonising over the guilt of what her sister had done, it just wasn't enough. Nothing Vi did was enough to keep Caitlyn from going down that path. But maybe if she had tried more, found the right words to say, everything might've turned out different—
"It's not your fault, Vi."
Damn.
"Nothing ever goes past you, huh?"
Caitlyn huffs, exasperated, but somehow, she still manages to sound refined, proper. Vi can't stop the way her heart flutters. "My mistakes are my own, my burden to carry. You didn't deserve any of it."
Vi hums at that, thoughtful. Caitlyn is warm against her, solid and real, and Vi can hardly believe it because she spent so long trying to forget. Drowning in booze, fighting till her fists were numb, sweat, and blood clinging to her skin with no hope of ever washing out. For a long time, Vi thought she would meet her end at the bottom of a bottle. Hoped, even. But that never came. No. Despite all odds, Vi finds herself cradled in the arms of the woman who up and left her, taking the last good thing in her life with seemingly no remorse. Her skin prickles at the thought, and part of her still wants to fight it. To push Caitlyn away instead of hopelessly caving in to her warmth. But it's not that simple. It never is.
"We're doing this together, right?"
The question is simple, to which Caitlyn gives with an affirmative nod. Slender fingers release her chin in favour of cupping her cheek, and once again Vi melts into it as seamlessly as she breathes. "Only if you'll have me." Caitlyn mutters, vulnerable but determined.
"Only if I make it." Vi says, only half joking, but Caitlyn doesn't seem to appreciate it as her expression turns severe.
"You better."
The authoritative tone her voice takes on is hard to miss. Vi instinctively wants to push back against it, if only to hide the full body shiver that runs through her as soon as the words leave Caitlyn's mouth.
"That a threat?" Is what Vi eventually settles on.
The woman before her remains perfectly still, calculating, and Vi can see the exact moment the puzzle pieces click into place. Caitlyn shrugs so as to play it off, but the mirth in her gaze is undeniable. "Only if it increases your chances. In which case, yes. Yes, it is." She replies with an air of understated confidence, and Vi wrestles the urge to kiss the smugness off of her face.
"Right. Sure. Whatever you say, Cupcake." She huffs, which does absolutely nothing to hide the flush coating her cheeks. Caitlyn grins even wider.