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Harley's wandering eyes mark the end of their study sessions; pencils roll from pages, paper sails to the floor, and the space he occupies shrinks further when she straddles him. Sometimes, she maneuvers him to the bed, as she's doing now.
He follows, because it avoids confrontation. He follows, because words fail him when he's this far inside his mind. He always is when bodies meet. He's been uncomfortable a lot lately. Research has thrown up a cloud of confusion, and he's been chewing through many things, preconceptions mostly, until a mere word floored him with the force of revelation. It has changed everything, even as everything remains the same. The world appears in a new light. He finally sees himself reflected.
Despite the giddy urge to share his discoveries, he hasn't taken them to Harley yet, partly because the dust in his mind still hasn't settled, partly because he fears rejection. He's naturally wary. Harley is the one good thing to happen to him apart from the opportunity of studying at G.S.U. and he'd rather not alienate her. On the other hand, he'd rather not lie to her about something so important either.
Gently taking her by the shoulders, he puts some distance between them.
"There's something that I need to tell you."
Harley's expression is one of concern. "You're gay," she blurts with trembling lips. "I knew it! I mean, I didn't, but I suspected. It takes so much to coax you out of your shell. At first I thought your reserve was down to, you know, your grandmother and what you told me about her, but then I wondered if you simply don't like me in that way and if I were perhaps pushing you too much in a direction you don't even want to go—"
"No, Harley," Jonathan shushes her with a finger to her lips, fighting the queasy feeling in his stomach. "I'm trans."
"Oh," is the extent of Harley's reaction. "Oh!"
"I'm a girl," he—she says with more confidence. Now that her secret's out there, she might as well allow herself to use the correct pronouns. They're as yet unfamiliar, but they fit like a well-worn pair of jeans.
"So I was right," Harley says with an impish grin, counter to all expectations. "You are gay." With a start, she sits upright. "Unless. Wait – does this change anything between us? I'm still your girlfriend, right?"
Jonathan – she really needs a new name for herself – draws herself up on her elbows. "You're sure you want to be associated with a freak like me?"
"Darling," Harley says as she leans closer again, hands bracketing Jonathan's body. "You were already a freak when I met you. That ain't a bad thing to be. As for, you know, the other thing, you're still you, right? That's what matters to me."
"Yes." She nods. Something heavy unravels in her chest. "Then I guess the only thing that changes is that now you have a girlfriend, too."