Work Text:
Hansol wasn't good with words. He just wasn't, if the option of speaking straight from the heart with no filters in the way to his mouth wasn't available, he would be at a complete loss of words. Writing the lyrics to their rap sequences was an ever harder task then it needed to be when Jihoon's lyrics were too foggy for Hansol to copy in rap formation.
He was so close to giving up so many times, especially after he seeked help from the rest of the hip hop group just to have another handful of stupid ideas to match his own, and he really couldn't afford to.
Like, really.
Asking Jihoon for help has been hell.
Hansol met another obstacle on his way when Jihoon looked at him with all the seriousness in the world, when he was so nervous he couldn't possibly stay serious. A smile cracked every time he tried to get a sentence to exit his lips, and he could see the fidginess of Jihoon's fingers, the slow, pulsing loss of patience for the grinning boy.
At last he signed, bowed in apology and stepped out of the composer's room, closing the door behind him on the soft sounds of pressing keys.
So he tried on his own. The lyrics mismatched and Jihoon huffed at it, making Hansol feel bad enough to just blur out that he can only come up with straightforward things that don't fit Jihoon's style at all and how hard he worked on it and how desperate he was to find words that'll actually worked.
He actually got surprised when he felt a small hand patting his head as that stern voice he learned to recognize without needing to look told him he'll get the help he needs. He actually got surprised that this blurring out thing could work after the lyrics he wrote in the same fashion receives so many flames.
That's how they came to develop a comfortable routine together, the time spent in that small, closed off room filled with spirits of creation and the undeniable need to get even better at what they're doing to lift their group higher.
That's how Hansol learned how to speak properly. He could still use his own carefree words if he pleased, Jihoon won't put fences around his creativity, but he learned how to shape them little by little to being polished and right for the song. He grew closer to Jihoon too, which he didn't think was possible in the first place. They shared ups and downs and everything in between until Hansol was sure to say that Jihoon laughed almost as much as he did, and Hansol was just a little less serious towards his work compared to Jihoon.
It felt nice, and safe, and Hansol refused to let go.
In the end, with some songs finished, he had to. Now they had Soonyoung shoved in everything. He had to start working on the dance, so he slowly took more and more time out of their room time. He sat and listened, sometimes moving his body in the closed space to the beat and smacking the two working boys in the faces sometimes.
Hansol with his stupid grin, and his hoarding of Jihoon's attention. Hansol knew that they were closer to each other longer, and after he got to see the side of Jihoon that Soonyoung always saw, he became more and more jealous of what he had to be present for longer then he hoped.
The first day he excused himself, Jihoon stiffened in his seat and won't look at him. Soonyoung, however, stared.
"I think I can write on my own now, and you two could have more space. It's a small room and my legs are starting to hurt from being kicked so many times."
Jihoon still didn't respond, not until Hansol closed the soundproof door behind him, so he'll never know.
He fell into a somewhat peaceful routine with himself next. He would get comfy in bed and write on his own, words just a little sloppier then they used to be with Jihoon by his side. Sometimes Chan would sneak to lie beside him and distract him with all his might, and sometimes Seungkwan would use his need for peace when the boy ran out of energies and needed to recharged. Hansol hoped to give the members who chose to share this time with him the same carefree peace that Jihoon was giving him when they had their time together.
He also got used to being jealous of Soonyoung's time with Jihoon, which still went on. He missed being Jihoon's adviser, and the person he picked a random conversation in hushed words with.
"Yah."
Hansol knew the voice without looking, just like old times.
"Yeah, hyung?"
"Come back," Jihoon shot and when Hansol looked, his eyes were already flicking elsewhere. "Soonyoung is visiting his parents and being alone in there feels weird."
Hansol tried very hard not to take the whole "Soonyoung is gone so you're the replacement" thing too seriously, but he really couldn't help it at this point. It was like a literal way of saying that he's second place.
He still walked behind his hyung quietly towards the studio. They passed half the time in silence, until Jihoon broke it with a clearing of his throat.
Hansol looked at him in expectance, but Jihoon still stared at his screen. He waited a little while longer with his eyes trained on his hyung, until he gave up and went back to staring at his leptop screen, fingers returning to the keyboard.
Jihoon cleared his throat again.
"Hyung?" Hansol didn't bother to look, knowing fully well that Jihoon won't meet his eyes.
Jihoon sighed, lowing his head to his hands. "How can you just spit out what you want to say?"
Hansol chuckled, pulling back to the familiar feeling to having to comfort Jihoon with a hand on the shorter boy's shoulder. "Just say what you want to say. I thought we were past it."
"So did I." That came up a bit too bitter and made Hansol's hand halt. Jihoon unexpectedly turned his head to look right in Hansol's eyes. "I don't want to choose between you."
Hansol's mouth formed an O, staying like that as his eyes took in the feelings floating in Jihoon's eyes. He lowered his eyes, thinking about the time he spent in his bed, thinking the two of them has it better without him. "I got it. You won't have to."
Jihoon's hand found it's way to Hansol's head again as he breathed out air of relief.
The third routine Hansol fell into was the hardest one yet. He had to work around jealousy and writers block and Soonyoung's feet movement. He did notice that the two other boys had a talking to though, with Soonyoung often giving Hansol the same attention he was giving Jihoon. He even took it a step farther when he sat on Hansol's lap, leaning his head against his shoulder when he got tired of dancing.
Jihoon sat in his chair, smiling at them. He actually turned his head to smile too. Hansol wrapped an arm around his hyung's waist and Soonyoung cuddled even closer, closing his eyes for a few minutes before he became heavier.
He got used to it.
Slowly they changed from two pairs into this kind of triangle, and Hansol was comfortable here. With them.
Soonyoung kept claiming his lap, and every once in a while Jihoon would do more then just smile at them, he would get up and snuggle to Hansol's other side, their hands finding each other over Soonyoung's thigh.
Now Hansol was better at finding words. He was also better at finding his way around random movement of limbs, and handling noise along with work, and his way around one body or two, hands that seek content and minds that seek rest from hard work.
But the thing Hansol could find his way best in, was in that triangle of theirs, and mostly in them.