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Wednesday, December 23, 1981
Point Place, Wisconsin
3:30 pm
The gang is home for the holidays.
After being scattered about, they're back in the basement. As tentative adults, rather than as a bunch of foolish kids.
Well, mostly.
Kelso and Fez are sword fighting with rolls of wrapping paper. Hyde, Jackie, and Eric are about to toke, with the radio playing in the background.
"Hot Donna's back, with a new Christmas song." Donna wanted to make a special visit to the station, for 'ol time's sake. "I think the Jackies in the world will like it."
Hyde stands up, with a defiant groan. "That's code for, it's gonna be crap."
Some bells, and a generic guitar riff, fill the air. Before, slowly but surely, morphing into a questionable melody.
"No, don't change it!" Hyde's fingers are already on the dial, but he pauses. For the sake of his shrill, demanding fiancée, of course. "This is a good song."
Bah Humbug, now that's too strong!
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy...
"It's no Wonderful Christmastime, that's for sure. Or, for the sake of naughty fun time, Free Bird." Eric smirks, and everyone attempts to ignore him. Especially as he suggestively adjusts his brow. "Maybe I should call in and make a personal request, when m'lady comes home..."
Hyde shakes his head, in disdain. The demolition night helped kill disco, but now, a new monster may have taken its place.
So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer
I just need to catch my breath
Christmas by myself this year...
In fact, it might be even worse. "I hate New Wave crap."
Jackie, strangely, is happily intrigued. "Even more than disco?"
Hyde somberly nods. "At least most of them could sing."
In turn, Eric jumps into the conversation, and sings his usual tune. "Pot, kettle."
Hyde can't help but chuckle. "Hey, I got good taste. Unlike you, Forman."
Eric eagerly guffaws. "My Air Supply phase is over..."
"But your Styx phase isn't." Hyde scowls, to prove a point. "To the point where it ain't a phase."
As Hyde and Eric continue to engage in playful banter, Jackie can't hear the music.
Hence, Jackie's fingers are now on a different dial. To turn up the volume.
"Both of you, shut up!"
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
"Pot, kettle," Hyde grumbles, for 'ol time's sake, "Put on the headphones."
Jackie pouts, hands firmly on her hips. "I thought we agreed that if I listened to your crap, you'd listen to my crap."
"The Ramones aren't crap," He readily revises, "They're just not your thing."
"They're not my thing, either, but at least I don't like...whatever this is," Eric awkwardly butts in, once again, "I think you can sing better than them, Jackie."
Now, both Jackie and Hyde are smirking. Together, from ear to ear.
She vocalizes their obvious, conniving plan. "Do you want me to try?"
"No!" Fez and Kelso have joined in, finally emerging from their childish reverie.
Kelso giggles, like a little girl. "Yeah, you sound like a dying cat."
Fez nods. "Like Mr. Bonkers."
"I'm the only one who doesn't sound like Mr. Bonkers around here," Eric proudly announces, and Fez sends him a worthwhile glare, "You can carry a tune, at least."
"So can Donna, but the rest of you are tone deaf," Fez states the obvious, "Hyde, Kelso, and well...Jackie...if only your voice was as beautiful as..."
Hyde unveils his stash, and as they form a circle, he frogs him. For the sake of his shrill, demanding fiancée, of course.
"Don't you have a wife upstairs?"
"I do, too," Kelso adds, taking the first puff, "You know what's the best Christmas song ever? Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer."
"Eww." Everyone else nods in agreement, and Jackie turns to her puddin' pop, and puts her arm around her fiance's shoulders. "How did I struggle to pick between you and Michael? I mean, the answer is so obvious..."
Once again, Fez inevitably pipes up. "How about me?"
She dismissively scoffs. "I never went past second base with you, so you don't count."