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“Hey Amasawa, what’s up?” Shizuku’s classmate leaned against the doorway and greeted the approaching newcomer, a handsome young man with serious, determined eyes.
“Hey. Is Shizuku here?” Seiji asked, ignoring his question.
The first boy rolled his eyes and laughed. “I don’t know why I even ask. Yeah, she’s here. Hey, Shizuku! Your boyfriend’s here!”
The rest of the class, used to this daily occurrence, ignored him while Shizuku looked up at the sound of her name. She blinked and looked over, smiling at the sight of her boyfriend coming towards her. Upon seeing Shizuku, Seiji’s face softened and the corners of his mouth curled up with easy affection. He leaned beside her.
“Hey. Did I interrupt you?” Seiji asked.
Shizuku shook her head. “Not at all. I was just jotting down some ideas before I lost them.”
“For your book? So I did disturb you. I can wait if you need to keep writing.”
“No, don’t worry. You had perfect timing. I just finished.” Shizuku closed her notebook and stood up. In tandem, Seiji reached for her bookbag and slid her notebook into its designated spot before slinging the strap over a broad shoulder.
“That’s because we’re soulmates.” Seiji winked at her and held his hand out towards her. Even after three years together, he never failed to make her blush, and her cheeks flooded with color while she reached to take his hand. His easy and open affection was something she had slowly gotten used to and she tried her best to match him. Embarrassed as she was, she’d always meet him halfway just as she knew he would for her.
“Do you guys mind? Some of us are single,” Yuko said from her seat next to Shizuku. Shizuku shot her friend a sympathetic look, but Yuko was already smiling at them with good humor and fondness. “I’ll see you lovebirds later. Karaoke this weekend, right? You better bring some single friends, Amasawa!”
“I’ll try my best,” Seiji said, saluting her. Yuko grinned and swept out the room with her bag after bidding them both goodbye. Seiji looked at his girlfriend. “Was she serious?”
“Well, she’d never turn down a group date opportunity. I think she’s talking to someone from another school anyway.”
“That’s good. I don’t think I have any single guy friends. Are you looking forward to the weekend?”
“Yeah. It’ll be fun to not think about studying or writing and just hang out and sing.”
“I’m looking forward to hearing you sing.”
“Just as long as you don’t think you’re hearing me sing alone. If I sing, you sing with me.”
“And deprive the world of your beautiful singing voice?”
“I don’t appreciate your sarcasm, Seiji.”
“You know I’m never sarcastic when it comes to your many talents.”
“Oh, really? Mister ‘they’re even cornier than the original version’.”
“Are you ever going to let me live that down?”
Shizuku giggled. “Never.”
The pair walked out of the classroom as they chatted, bidding their classmates farewell while they left the school building. Their friends catcalled and made lighthearted jokes at the couple’s expense, which Seiji basked in with smug pride and Shizuku bore with a mix of embarrassment and exasperation.
“So, how was your day?” Seiji asked as they approached the bicycle rack. He reluctantly let go of her hand to unlock his bicycle, pulling it out. He secured their bags and then stepped into place, waiting for Shizuku to sit down behind him. She hummed, thinking about her answer as she carefully sat down and wrapped her arms around his waist.
“Nothing short of mundane. We reviewed some classical literature, but the discussion was less than riveting. I know you would have agreed if you were there.”
“Wasn’t there anything good about today?”
Shizuku squeezed his waist and smiled wide. “Well, duh. Seeing you, of course.”
This time it was Seiji’s turn to color and he cleared his throat bashfully before saying, “You’re always the best part of my day.”
“I can’t believe that soon I won’t get to see you every day,” Shizuku whispered against his back as he pedaled. She felt more than heard him sigh as he remembered their upcoming graduation.
He didn’t respond for a moment and she thought he wasn’t going to at all when he finally said,“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”
Shizuku felt her chest squeeze and she took a shaky breath. She rested her forehead against his back and smiled sadly.
“What are you talking about? You’re going to be too busy creating art, going to symphonies, and chatting up beautiful Italian girls to even think about me,” Shizuku said, teasing. She had never once felt insecure in their relationship, which was apparently a rarity among teenage couples. Still, she felt Seiji’s back stiffen at her words.
Seiji slowed his pedaling as they approached the bottom of the hill that led to his grandfather’s antique shop and home. She hopped off and he swung his leg over the seat so he was standing on the ground. His dark eyes were sincere and heavy, and Shizuku felt her heart skip a beat when he reached for her hand.
“Don’t even joke about that, Shizuku. If anything, I should be the one worried about you and all those college boys,” Seiji said. At her rising eyebrows, Seiji hastened to add, “Not that I’m worried. I know I don’t have to be. I’m sure you’ll tell everyone about your devastatingly handsome, dedicated fiance overseas and our fairytale romance that nobody could ever compare to.”
“Devastating, huh?”
“Devastating. With looks and charms. And tall. Make sure you tell them how tall I am.”
Shizuku rolled her eyes at his words but laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m serious. You’ll tell them, right?” Seiji grinned when she rolled her eyes again and nodded with an exaggerated movement. His gaze turned somber. “I think our relationship is the only thing in the world that I’m not worried about.”
Shizuku frowned and squeezed his hand. “Are you that worried? You’ve been waiting to go back all this time. I thought you were excited.”
“I know. I am excited. I’m nervous though. It doesn’t feel real. I feel like I’ve been working this whole time towards this goal for so long that I almost forgot what would happen once I actually reached that goal. I feel like my Italian hasn’t improved much and I made an amateur mistake on the last violin I made and my parents keep dropping hints about college. It’s not too late for us to go to the same university.”
“I understand. You’ll make a new goal though. You know enough to get around and you’ll improve once you’re there. In Italian and lutherie. This is your dream, Seiji. You can always go to school later if you want. After you’re a famous violin maker, of course.”
Seiji chuckled. “Yeah, that’s true. And by then my famous wife will make enough to support us while I do that.”
“That’s right. That’s what my parents did for each other.”
Seiji smiled, although it was tinged slightly with sadness. “That does bode well for us… You’ll write while I’m gone, right?”
“You’re asking me if I’ll write? The real question is if you’ll write back.”
“That’s not a real question either. You know I’ll do anything for you.”
“We’ll write weekly. We could even call long distance sometimes. Maybe we can even save up for cell phones. I think some of them can make international calls. We’re both going to have wonderful, magical adventures and explore life to its fullest in parallel to each other.”
“You’re right. It’ll be fun to tell each other about our day and the new things we see and learn. And then we’ll have the letters to look back on. The proof of our love to show our kids when we’re older.”
“Seiji!”
Seiji laughed and dodged the exaggerated punch Shizuku threw his way. He grabbed his bicycle and started running up the hill with it while his girlfriend chased after him. Nearby, Moon’s tail swished contentedly as he watched them.
—
Dear Shizuku,
I’ve just arrived in Cremona, Italy. It’s familiar and new at the same time. Even though I recognize it, I feel like I’m arriving for the first time all over again. In some ways, I guess I am.
I’ve settled into my room and I’ll start lessons tomorrow. Today, I walked around to familiarize myself with the city again. I wish you could see it. I know you’d love it here. Someday I’ll take you to Italy. Everywhere I turn, I see spaces where you should be, reading and writing and most importantly: next to me. Do you miss me yet? It’s okay to cry over me.
I’m going to work hard. I know you will too. I wish I could see you in university. Send me snippets of your writing?
Love,
Seiji
—
“I really liked the author’s use of metaphor throughout the story and how she brought it back at the end, tying it all together. It really felt like she built upon it in subtle but meaningful ways, reflecting the growth of the main character.”
“Good observation, Shizuku. Yes, the author effectively employs metaphor throughout the story and it really helps drive the narrative. That’s the sort of analysis I want to see for every line we read. That’s it for class today. Please remember to wrap up your literature analysis homework by next class. We’ll be starting our next session and essay next week.”
Shizuku sat at her desk, waiting. She blinked at the doorway and watched her classmates leave one by one until her face flooded with red embarrassment. She had been waiting for Seiji. She hastily packed her belongings and stood up, making her way down the row, when her professor stopped her.
“Shizuku, I'm glad you stayed behind a little. I wanted to tell you that your latest assignment was exemplary. Your first draft was good, but you really elevated it after the first round of feedback. Keep up the good work.”
"Thank you, professor."
"I'll see you next class, Shizuku. I look forward to seeing your analysis on the latest chapters."
—
Dear Seiji,
I learn something new every day and my professors are nice. All I do every day is read and write. I just wish I had more time to work on my stories. Whenever I finish my homework, I write. I feel like I’m bursting with stories. I can’t put my pen down! It's tiring, but fulfilling. The only thing that would make it better is if we were together. When I walk down the street, I think of you taking the same steps, only ten thousand kilometers away.
Your grandfather is doing well. I visit him every weekend and he’s just as lively as ever, so don’t worry about him. I’ve already finished the book I was working on before you left. I need to edit it more, but I’ve attached a page for you.
Italy sounds beautiful and I keep the postcard you sent me in my notebook so I can look at it and think of you while I write. I hope I can visit someday. I’ve bought several books set in Italy so I can pretend I’m there with you. How is your mentorship going? I want to know everything.
Love,
Shizuku
—
“Do you miss him?” Yuko asked as they took a break from working on their homework. Shizuku's heart pinged at the thought of Seiji.
“More than you can imagine. You were right though. It is romantic to write to each other and encourage each other,” Shizuku said. She sighed wistfully and continued. “I just wish I could see him though. We were always together through high school. I feel like I’m missing a part of myself.”
“I can’t tell if you’re like this because you’re just that in love or if it’s because you’re a writer,” Yuko said, laughing. “Who would have known you’d become the sappiest out of our whole group of friends? If it wasn’t so cute, it’d be gross.”
“I can’t help it. I’ve been thinking about getting a part time job so I can save up some money and see him during our next break.”
“Will you have time for that with your classes and writing?”
“I think so. It’ll be hard, and I’ll have to stop reading so much, but I really want to surprise him. I’m not even sure I want to pursue a degree anyway. I’m just taking the reading and writing classes for now.”
“You love your classes though.”
“I do, but I love writing more. I don’t need a degree to write.”
—
Dear Shizuku,
Your letters are the highlight of my week. I think of you constantly. Thank you for checking on my grandfather, even though I know you enjoy spending time with him.
I liked the page you sent. You’ve always been a good writer, but you’re even better now. I can’t wait to read the finished version. You inspire me to keep improving my craft too.
My mentorship is going alright. I knew I wasn’t close to a professional level, but now that I’m in the thick of it, I realize how much more time and practice I’ll need to become a real master. I feel frustrated with my progress. There are a few others training in the same workshop and they’ve been here for a while. I’m behind, so I’m trying my best to catch up. I’m carving so much that the calluses on my hands have doubled in size. Don’t worry though, they won’t get in the way of holding hands once we’re together again.
I miss playing the violin for you and listening to you sing. I miss taking you out on dates and hanging out until it’s night. I miss talking about our dreams and goals together. I miss carving while you write in the same room. I just miss you.
Love,
Seiji
—
“That’ll be 3000 yen. Have a nice day,” Shizuku said as the customer paid and left the bookstore. She bit her lip and quickly scanned the bookstore to make sure it was empty before she returned to her book. The owner was lenient about letting her do schoolwork and study on the clock, just as long as the store wasn’t busy. Seiji’s grandfather had offered her a shift at the antique store, but Shizuku knew that would force him to open more than he wanted and she wouldn’t hear of him trying to pay her.
While she read, she couldn't help but think about Seiji as she often did. His last couple of letters, while optimistic, painted a picture that made Shizuku's heart hurt. Seiji was a determined and confident person, and she hated to see that shaken. She ached to do something for him, but she couldn't. She let out a frustrated sigh and squinted at the words in front of her, trying her best to focus on the task at hand. Several hours of attempted studying and helping the occasional customer went by before the owner walked in. She browsed the shelves quietly before approaching the counter to greet Shizuku.
“Has it been slow today?” The owner asked.
Shizuku thought about it for a moment. “Not particularly. There’s been a steady stream of customers throughout the day. I had to restock the young adult fiction books on our display table.”
“That’s good. I hope you were able to get some of your schoolwork done.”
“I did, thank you!”
“You work so hard, Shizuku. It’s good to see in a young person. What are you studying?”
“I’m, um, in the literature department.”
“Ah, that explains your applying to work here. You like to read then?”
“I love to read, but I actually want to be a writer.”
“You want to be a writer? That's a tough path. Are you any good?”
Shizuku smiled, more to herself than to the owner. “Not nearly good enough.”
—
Dear Seiji,
I know you can do it. Don’t overwork yourself. We talked about this, remember? These things take time. You’ll get there. We both will. I wish I could be by your side to encourage you. I miss you too.
You inspire me.
Love,
Shizuku
—
Shizuku yawned and slowly opened her eyes. There was a crick in her lower back, her mouth was dry, and her head felt fuzzy. The wood grain of her desk came into view as she woke up and realized that she had once again fallen asleep at her desk while writing.
Her desk was as organized as it could be, yet still covered with stacks of paper and books that had accumulated over the past several months. Her incomplete homework sat in a pile surrounded by notes and drafts for her writing projects. She stared blankly at the pages, the words blurring together.
Seiji’s last letter to her lay in front of her. She could tell he was struggling. Each new letter, she hoped to see evidence to the contrary, but the difficulties of studying alone in a foreign country seemed to be stacking and stacking. He was never the most social, and she knew that he most likely hadn’t made friends. She could only imagine how lonely he was. She wished she could help in a more tangible way, but the only thing she could give him was her understanding and her love.
Their souls were truly connected, for Shizuku had also been struggling. Her classes were starting to weigh on her. The things she studied felt less applicable to her career goals and dreams than they had in the beginning. There was more and more coursework and it felt like it kept piling on with no end. She could tell her writing was suffering because of it. She and Seiji never thought that it would be easy, but she didn't think it would be this hard either. Even though she wasn't the one to leave for another country, she felt as if she herself was in a foreign place.
She thought back to their high school days. Throughout the years, their passion for their respective crafts hadn’t waned. If anything, they became even more passionate as they fueled each other on to improve and grow. She remembered days of bouncing ideas back and forth, carefully listening to him play different violins so she could try to give her opinion on the sound and make.
Her fingers sadly traced the delicate paper. She needed to do something.
—
Dear Shizuku,
I feel like I’m even further behind than the last time I wrote. I spend every waking hour in the workshop, either carving or studying. My master threw the last violin I made into a fire, it was so bad. I barely sleep or eat, I’m so focused. I just have to keep practicing. I won’t give up on my dream. Does it sound crazy to say that you're one of the only reasons I can keep going? I think about you, striving for your own dream.
You aren’t writing as much as usual lately. Is everything alright? It’s lonely here without you.
Love,
Seiji
—
“How are your classes, Shizuku?” Seiya, Shizuku’s father, asked.
“They’re going okay,” Shizuku said with a small shrug, pouring them both a cup of tea. “I like them. My teachers are nice.”
“Are you happy?”
Shizuku stayed silent as she thought about the question. She bit her lip and slowly said, “I am.”
“Are you sure? You don’t sound happy, dear.”
She sighed. “I like my classes.”
“But?”
“But I’m tired. I don’t have time to write my books. I spend all my writing and reading time on essays now.” Shizuku said.
“How are things with you and Seiji?”
Shizuku shrugged. “They’re okay. I miss him, of course.”
Her father nodded contemplatively. “You plan on seeing him over winter break, don’t you? I know you’ve been saving up.”
Shizuku nodded.
“I’ll always support you, Shizuku. I’ve read your writing before. I think it’s good. I think you have a real chance at becoming a writer. Remember what I said. Not everyone has to follow the same path.” Her father said.
He took a breath and continued. “You shouldn’t base your future off of a boy and I know that's not what this is all about, but I want you to know that, well. You can do anything you put your mind to, Shizuku. Your mother and I really only wanted to see you graduate high school. You’ve really grown up and we're proud of you. You’re an adult now. The rest of your life is up to you. Your mother and I will always be here for you, but you’re old enough now to know what you want and pursue it.”
“What are you saying?”
He chuckled. “I’m not saying anything, Shizuku. Just… think about what I said.”
—
Dear Seiji,
Wait for me.
Love,
Shizuku
—
Shizuku stood at the door nervously. Seiji’s grandfather had reached out to his friend, Seiji’s mentor, and had graciously offered Shizuku a room to stay for the break. He had picked Shizuku up from the airport and drove her to his house. After dropping her belongings off in the guest room, he had directed her to Seiji’s room.
She took a deep breath and knocked.
After several seconds, she heard a creaking noise and then soft footsteps. She clenched her fists with nervous anticipation as the door opened to reveal her boyfriend. His mouth fell open and he stared at her with shock and disbelief.
“Hi, Seiji,” Shizuku quietly said, breaking the silence. Seiji’s eyes opened even wider and he gasped.
“Shizuku? Shizuku? Are you really here?” He reached for her, grasping her shoulders with trembling hands.
Shizuku giggled and nodded. She yelped as Seiji lifted her up and twirled her around, something inside of her finally settling back into place. Seiji hugged her tightly, as if afraid she’d disappear if he let go. It was only when she tasted something salty that she realized several tears had run down her face and she sniffled as Seiji buried his face into her neck. Several moments passed before Seiji finally took a deep, shuddering breath and slumped in her hold as if their embrace had drained tons of tension from his frame. He pulled away slightly to look at her. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I can’t believe I’m here either!”
“Your last couple of letters were so short, I-I thought that maybe you were busy or–”
“I was busy! I was busy working to save up for a ticket!”
“How long were you planning this?”
“A couple of months. I thought I could handle the time apart, but I just couldn’t stomach the idea of going a whole year without seeing you.”
“I can’t believe it. I was dreaming of you and now you’re here just like magic. You’re always here when I need you most.” Seiji whispered. He straightened up and smiled at her tenderly before reaching for her hands. “You must be so tired.”
Shizuku shook her head. “I’m not tired anymore now that I’m with you.”
“I feel the same way. Here, come in. My room is small, but it’s cozy. Are you staying here?” Seiji led her into the room.
She looked around before sitting on the bed, smiling at a photo of her, Seiji, and his grandfather they had taken before he left. “Mmhm. I’ll be here all break. Your grandfather helped make it happen.”
Seiji sat next to her, still staring at her like he couldn’t believe his eyes. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
“I wanted it to be a surprise. I… I was worried about you. I could tell from your letters that you weren't doing well and I didn't know what to say to help you. But now I'm here, and I want to help and support you. You don't have to entertain me or anything. You can keep training and working.”
Seiji laughed breathlessly and grabbed her hands again. “No, I… I need a break. My master told me that I’m working myself so hard I’m setting myself back. I want to show you around Italy. I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too. Has it been hard? You said a little in your letters, but I’m worried.”
His expression turned somber. “I won’t lie to you, Shizuku. It has been hard, but I don’t want to burden you with that.”
“Haven’t we talked about this before? I want to support and help you.”
“I know, and I want to support and help you too. I just don’t want you to be worrying about me when you’re thriving at school.”
Shizuku shook her head. “I’m not thriving. I like my classes and professors, yes, but I don’t love school. I hardly have any time to write anymore.”
“Shizuku, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“I didn’t tell you because I want you to worry more. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this the second after I’ve arrived, but I’ve been thinking about the future and us.”
Seiji nervously chuckled and held her hands tighter. “You didn’t fly all this way to Italy to break up with me, right?”
Shizuku laughed and shook her head. “You’re stuck with me forever. I talked to my father and I started thinking about the things that I want in life. I want to be a writer and I… I want to be with you, Seiji.”
Seiji nodded with a confused expression. “Right. I want those things too.”
Shizuku shook her head. “No, I mean. There isn’t just one road of life. My father reminded me that not everyone has to follow the same path. I-I’m not saying this is exactly what I’ll do, but I looked into some exchange programs. There aren’t any in Cremona, Italy, but there are some in other cities.”
Seji’s hands shook and he took a deep breath. “You’d do that for me?”
“I won’t be able to until the next school year, of course. And if they don’t work out, then maybe I’ll take a gap year or something. Maybe I won’t finish college at all. We’ll figure it out. I thought that I should go to university since I went to high school, but I don’t want to spend the next few years writing everything except for my books and I don’t want to be without you.”
“What if I came back to Japan instead? I could… I could find a workshop to study lutherie at.”
“If you really believed that, you would have found one and gone there instead of here. I’ve thought about this Seiji. I want to be with you.”
“I want to be with you too. And I want you to be happy.”
Shizuku laughed and disentangled her hands so she could wrap her arms around him instead. “I will be happy, Seiji. I’ll be happy because I’ll be with you. I can write anywhere, but you need to be here in Cremona, Italy.”
“You’d really do that for me?”
“Seiji, you know I’ll do anything for you.”
Seiji embraced her tightly and Shizuku closed her eyes, finally at home.