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Tsubame West High School.
Makoto doesn’t have any particularly high expectations for her future there, because expectations are often the door to disappointment, and why set yourself up for failure like that? High school is just a rite of passage. Study hard, do well on exams, go off to college, get a decent-paying job and the rest is history. It’s just something that everyone has to do, one way or another.
As for things such as karaoking after school, going on dates with your first love, and having sleepovers with your friends… Well, those are for “normal” people, and Makoto realized from a young age that she isn’t “normal” enough for those types of experiences. But that’s okay. All she needs is a place to fit in, and that’s good enough for her.
At least, that was before Iwakura Mitsumi approached her waiting at the door of the student council.
One day, Makoto walks into Class 1-3 and sees Mitsumi, Mika, and Yuzuki huddled together deep in conversation and joins them as though she’d been there the entire time. It’s an entirely mundane thing, like an occurrence that must’ve happened at least three times this week alone by now.
When class actually starts, Makoto can’t help but start pondering about the incredulous circumstances that led to this unlikely friend group. What if she had long decided beforehand that the student council wasn’t for her and hadn’t been at the right place at the right time that day, or what if she had declined Mitsumi’s request to go to Starmax? Would things still be the same?
It’s crazy to think how all of this came to be… Like one domino into another…
With how casual they’ve all become, it’s almost embarrassing for Makoto to recall her initial biases against Yuzuki specifically. It’s frustrating, almost. Especially because it doesn’t feel like she was rewarded for taking a chance on Yuzuki, it feels like she lucked out because Yuzuki is Yuzuki, and there’s nobody in the world like her.
There’s nothing wrong with that, the outcome is the same, after all. But then, months later…
“Seems like a guy in class six tried to trick Murashige-san into going on a date with him and she dumped him.”
It really catches Makoto off-guard, moments like these, her mind running back to all those little things Yuzuki had confessed to her. Her immediate reaction is to brush it off, because she has no words in her mind to convey the disappointment heavy in her heart. See? What did she say about having expectations…
And all of a sudden, she’s on the verge of crying despite herself. She’s scared because she feels like she’s changed a lot, but at the same time, she doesn’t feel like she’s changed at all… But maybe, she wants to change for the better.
I have a long way to go…
Late at night, when the lights are turned off, Makoto can’t help but look through the pictures of her high school life so far on her phone. She excused herself out of the shared school trip room with Mitsumi so as to not create a disturbance. The uneasiness from earlier on the rocks at sunset, this inexplicable anxiety from conversations about the future eat away at her little by little. It really shouldn’t bother her, high school is just a rite of passage.
So why is Makoto dreading the end of these peaceful days?
She used to scoff at those types of people who say they “peaked” in high school. Those people who never got over their high school crush, or those people who wish they could go back to the “good ol’ days”. But now that she’s in her second year, and high school is different from what she expected, she finds herself staring at a hypocrite in the mirror…
Hokkaido is so far away, Makoto thinks. You’ll be lonely.
It’s not the same as being only a few classrooms away. There’ll be a very tangible physical distance between them. And even after college, who knows what’ll happen to them. They’ll lead very different lives, become even more different from each other than they already are.
And what if they become too different from the people they are now? Will that connection still be there? Will the memories they made together fade away into the background? Will her Yuzu even still exist?
“Growing up is a lot more complicated than I thought…” Makoto mutters, sighing and putting down her phone.
It’s stupid to be growing depressed about something that she always knew was going to happen.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Yuzuki asks. Makoto turns her head and sees Yuzuki in her pajamas leaning against the wall.
“Just overthinking things as usual,” Makoto answers.
Somehow, it’s always Yuzu who catches her when she’s at her worst.
“Oh?” Yuzuki sits down next to Makoto, not too closely, and smiles at her reassuringly. It’s the smile that’s most guaranteed to plunge a hook into the heart of its target. “Tell me about it.”
Makoto, in the face of her own overwhelming selfishness, takes a small breath. Remaining calm about it, she says, “I was thinking that I should visit Hokkaido at least once a month, or maybe even once every two weeks. You don’t think that’s overkill, do you?”
“We could alternate. I could come to where you are, wherever you end up. Or maybe we can even meet somewhere halfway.”
“What if that turns out to be in the middle of nowhere, though?” Makoto jokingly asks.
“Then… I guess we’ll meet each other halfway, in the middle of nowhere, and make new memories there,” Yuzuki says. “It’d be fun.”
“Yeah,” Makoto agrees.
“It’s a promise,” Yuzuki says, holding out her right pinky. Reluctantly, Makoto links her pinky, and the scene becomes both a hopeful yet melancholic moment for them.
Expectations , Makoto catches herself thinking. But if a girl like Yuzu comes into her life and makes her want to change into a better person, Makoto would expect her to take at least a little responsibility.
Yet, Makoto can’t help but end the conversation with, “Don’t run too far ahead without me, okay?”
Yuzuki laughs quietly.