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Finally, lunchtime. Today the Doctor had a rare day off apparently, although they were nowhere to be seen, and FORMAT kept ragdolling everyone around, so the Captain couldn’t even get to Doc’s room to ask them about her suggestion... Especially after Yamamura, she firmly believed that a walk would do everyone wonders.
Speaking of the reformation target... she had a gut feeling that she should visit him at least once before his family would come to bring him back home. If her mind does not fool her, Rookie should be with him right now, a good opportunity to bring the poor guy some lunch and prevent the same mistake from happening again, the newbie deserves his break no matter how many times he refuses.
She packed at least 3/4 of her lunch in another bento box – that was the bare minimum – and headed straight to Yamamura’s room. As expected, Rookie was there, looking like he was having quite the rough time getting the poor one’s attention.
“Everything’s alright Rookie?”
He squealed as soon as he heard the Captain’s voice behind him. Immediately he jolted back up on his feet to salute her.
“Ah-! C-Captain!! Good afternoon!"
She chuckled “No need for formalities Rookie, you know it. I’ve brought you lunch”
Before he could say anything against it, Rebecca forcefully, but gently, pushed the lunch box in the newbie’s arms. “B-But Captain-! This is not your lunch is it!?”
“Oh not at all...I made some extra on purpose” Clearly that wasn’t true, but a little white lie won’t hurt a fly if it’s for someone else’s wellbeing.
Rookie sighed in defeat and accepted his lunch, then looked back at Yamamura, hesitating “Actually... Captain-?”
She tilted her head, silently encouraging him to go on.
“I may... need a hand. Yamamura’s refusing to eat, he’s been crying since yesterday. I-I... I’m worried for him... I know he’s still a scumbag after all but... this is no good...”
The Captain’s expression softened even more, looking at the other one with severe concern. He was a sobbing mess, all curled up in a ball on the bed, still shaking.
She took a deep, almost imperceptible, sigh and patted Rookie’s back “It’ll be ok, how about you go eat your lunch and I’ll cover up your task?”
He nodded, though a bit reluctant “Y-Yes Captain! Thank you!” He clumsily saluted her again and rushed out, leaving Rebecca and Yamamura alone in complete silence if not for the latter’s gentle sobs, the exhaustion clear in his voice.
She reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, he hesitated for a brief moment before shaking again, although with lower intensity. Maybe she should call him by his name, it would be more familiar... What was it? Ivrig? Oh but he sure did not remember that one... it wasn’t the first time for her to witness the loss of a name after reformation. Afterall, a name holds memories, and if the BUG had attached itself to it, then it was doomed to be erased forever. In a way it’s not too different from the loss of an actual person.
For his sake, she might as well go for the birth name present on the reports.
“Kosuke?”
He stopped, both the crying and the shaking, as if he wanted to make sure he’s really heard what she’s said, and was not only in his imagination.
She followed suit, carefully trying to hold his hands without disturbing the position that was bringing him comfort, and repeated herself clearly, but not loudly, keeping her voice just above whispering “Kosuke... please, can you look at me?”
He shook his head. At least he was responsive, that was a wonderful sign.
“I won’t force you, but you need to eat. Can you sit up on your own? You must’ve lost a lot of energy overnight... I assume you haven't slept either, am I correct?”
He nodded, ashamed, then returned to sobbing “I'm... sorry..”
“You don’t have to-”
“I'm s..sorry mom don't..don't hurt me.. don't tell dad..”
Oh...
She paused. Deep down she hated how much he reminded her of herself, but there was no space for self hatred now, if he needed a mother, then so be it. “I won’t hurt you sweetheart, especially not while you’re already hurting”
He froze, and immediately looked at her in disbelief, as if that phrase alone was enough to break the spiral he was running down from for how big of a lie that was to him.
“oh.. oh I-I’m...” he stuttered as his voice cracked from the tears “t-that’s embarrassing..”
The Captain sighed, and shook her head “It’s not. You’ve lost a part of yourself, the only one that brought you comfort, if I can be a temporary replacement, I won’t hesitate”
Kosuke didn’t respond, if not with a couple more sobs, then shyly stuttered again “m..my mom... used to rock Miki all the time whenever she cried... but she’s never done that for me... I wonder how it feels like t-”
Without hesitation, she cautiously brought her arms under him, secured him in her grasp, and held him to her chest. Once she sat down, she slowly rocked back and forth, humming the first lullaby that came to mind. After some time she even removed her chest plate, hoping for him to hear her heartbeat even with that thing on his head.
And with that, Kosuke’s whole body relaxed, leaning fully on her, still curled up in a ball, not out of stress, but rather out of tranquillity. He tried to hide it, but he started sucking on his thumb as well, she smiled and faked not to notice, as to not make him too self-conscious, although she found it rather sweet how he felt safe enough to do that.
“I wish I could feed you myself sweetie, but I don’t know how... with that on your head...”
“Just a few more minutes mom please...” he stiffened as he realized “AH- I-I mean-!”
She chuckled “You can call me that if you want, it’s really not that deep, I appreciate it”
He took a moment before responding, childishly fidgeting with his fingers “... thanks mom...”