Chapter Text
“Umm, guys? Is there a reason we’re coming out this way?” Keylith asked nervously, staring at the small, innocuous, singular cottage in the middle of fucking nowhere sounded by forrest on all sides.
It couldn’t have been a more obvious trap, even Keylith could see that.
“To find Grog, darling, obviously,” Vex replied carelessly, scratching the underneath of Trinket’s chin and crooning sweet compliments in his ear.
“We did agree to continue on as a group.” Vax said, “it wouldn’t be fair to take the contract without at least telling him.”
“Even though he totally ditched us in Westrunn,” Scanlan grumbled under his breath, “he could have at least invited us if he wanted to go spend his money.”
Vax rolled his eyes, “not everything is about booze and sex Scanlan.”
That earned him looks from everyone, including Keylith, who wasn’t entirely sure why they were all staring at Vax, but she liked doing it so joining in was no trouble on her part.
It was probably another one of those city things that went over her head.
Vex laughed lightly at her brother. “Of course not brother.” Even Keylith could hear the condescension in her voice. “But this is Scanlan and Grog we’re talking about.”
Which brought Keylith back to her point. “So why do we think he’s here, then?”
“Because this is where I tracked him down to. Do you doubt my skills, darling?”
Vex’s tone hadn’t changed at all, but even Keylith knew the answer to that one. “Of course not.” She said with a nervous laugh, not taking her eyes off the cottage for a moment.
“So who’s going to go first then?” Scanlan asked, summing up the whole reason everyone was standing outside a suspiciously silent, quaint looking cottage in the middle of winter, staring at each other.
Vax rolled his eyes. “Fine. Vex, cover me.”
He approached the door with all the grace of a half-elf and the stealth of a rogue, quietly and carefully opening the door, Vex at his shoulder, bow knocked and half-drawn.
“What do you see?” Scanlan hissed loudly.
The twins had both froze at the door, so whatever it was it must have been shocking, but they hadn’t moved to attack, so Keylith followed a little closer.
“Not what I was expecting.” Vax said.
“And just what were you expecting?” Vex said almost reflexively, she always had something to say to her brother. It came with being a sibling, apparently.
“Not that,” Scanlan added breathlessly, being as short as he was, had allowed him to slip expertly between Vex and Vax to take his own look at what was inside the mystery cottage.
Unable to take being the only person who didn’t know what was happening, Keylith pushed her way through the others all still crowded at the open door.
They were right.
It hadn’t been what she had been expecting.
Grog was lying on the ground, spread out and napping the way he so often did, surrounded by empty bottles of booze.
Not an unusual sight at all, apart from the white haired female gnome, equally dead the world, snoring softly and lying on his stomach.
“So that’s the sort of woman Grog is into.” Scanlan said, “good to know.”
Vax rolled his eyes, “let them sleep. We can leave them a note and come back later-”
Which was of course the moment Keylith’s balance failed her as she took Scanlan and Vax down in a tangle of limbs sending them all crashing through the door, breaking a number of the empty bottles beneath them.
Vex’s quick reflexes saved her as she spun out of the way, laughing all the while. “You were saying?”
The sound wasn’t enough to wake Grog, but the gnome groaned, her voice surprisingly deep as she rubbed her eyes and squinted at them.
She blinked a few times before elbowing Grog in the stomach, “hey buddy, I think your guys are here.”
“Hmm?” Grog grumbled, barely conscious, “which guys?”
“The ones you went on that adventure with. Without me. Remember you were telling me about it last night,” she said as she sat up, “ugh, my head. Buddy, how much did we drink?”
Grog looked around them and giggled, high pitched and more than a little delirious. “All of it.”
He must have still been a little drunk.
“Ugh,” she said again, with feeling, bringing a golden glowing hand to her head to soothe the obvious headache, sending Keylith scrambling to her hands and knees.
“Oh let me!” She said offering her own healing spell. Healing your own aches and wounds were always so much more difficult.
But the gnome just waved her away with her other hand, and the glow of the healing spell soon faded. She was obviously well practiced, and now that she was not suffering from a horrible hangover, the friendly sort, if her grin was any indicator.
“I’m Pike Trickfoot, and you lot must be Vox Machina.”
“Um, yes,” Keylith said, stumbling to her feet, trying not to break any more empty bottles in the process. “That’s us. Vox Machina. Yes.”
Pike’s expression suddenly became a little suspicious as she peered at Keylith and she suddenly hoped she hadn’t let her tendency to babble when she was nervous make Grogg’s friend doubt them.
“Oi. Buddy.” The gnome said, punching Grogg none too gently in the side, “These guys are yours, right.”
It should have been a question, but it didn’t sound like one.
Grogg, utterly unhelpful, just giggled again.
Scanlan slid smoothly around Keylith and up into Pike’s space, “I assure you dear lady, we most definitely are Vox Mach-inaaaaaaaah”
His attempt at flirting was cut harshly off by a drunken kick to the face that punted him right back out the front door. And for Pike, seeing Grogg take a swing at Scanlan was all the reason she needed to take her own swing at Keylith.
“Wait!” The druid yelped as she staggered backwards. “Wait! We’re friends! I promise!”
Her words didn’t slow Pike down in the least. “FIGHT!!!”
With that single word Grogg was up and raging, throwing himself at the twins, forcing them to scatter before they could come to Keylith’s aid.
After a minute of dodging and trying not to hurt either person attacking them Scanlan came back swinging.
Or what passed for the bard version of swinging, belting out a tune in perfect pitch at the top of his lungs.
The familiarity of the voice was enough to shake Grogg from his rage, as he narrowed small eyes to peer at the gnome. “Scanlan?”
Scanlan stopped singing. “Hey Grogg! Had some fun last night?” He wiggled his eyes in a way that made Vex roll hers and Pike warily stopped swinging, though she still held the glowing mace made of light up ready to go again at any moment.
Grogg looked at Scanlan, over at Pike and then back at Scanlan once more as if the words didn’t quite track in his mind. Knowing the Goliath there was a very real possibility that they hadn’t. That happened with Grogg sometimes.
“Eww, Scanlan no!” he moaned, “Pike isn’t a lady friend! She’s my buddy!”
The bard’s eyes flashed sensing a story. “Your buddy, huh? Why don’t you tell me how that happened?”
Grogg scratched his head and shrugged, “I got hurt, Pike helped patch me up, we got in a fight together, we became buddies, the end.”
For Grogg that was actually a pretty good story, it was coherent and told everyone exactly what happened, if not how, but it made Scanlan moan and wilt on himself regardless.
Keylith didn’t know why. The gnome had known Grogg long enough that this would be the obvious result.
Pike laughed, a surprisingly deep sound for someone so short, “how ‘bout we go in and clean up, I can tell you how it happened there.”