Work Text:
You know the moment your eyes open that the day's going to be shit. You're late for work, Kasuke is here, and that flea tried to kill you again. You check to make sure your brother is still asleep before stepping into the bathroom.
"Just kill me, monster. If you give up that act life will be easier. I'm a god and you're not even human!", Izaya gloats standing on the edge of a building's rooftop. You throw a street sign at him, but he dodges it.
"Come down here so you can die!"
"No thanks!", he shouts as he walks away.
You ball your hands into fists as you think about yesterday. You reach into the cabinet and pull out a random blade. You slide it across your forearm. You still can't feel pain, but the blood reminds you that you're at least human. As you make cuts of varying lengths and deepness you find reasons for them.
A cut for not feeling pain. A slash for not keeping a job. You slide the blade along your arm over and over again. For being a monster. For almost killing so many people. For loving another guy. For loving somebody who hates you. You move to your other arm giving up on reasons, and just wildly slashing at your arm. You stop when your arms are covered in blood. you hope that this will finally kill you, but know better than that. You choke on a sob that you didn't know was building and wonder why. Because in the end it's all pointless.
So fucking pointless.
Then your vision blurs and you crash into the floor.