Chapter Text
“Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again
But I just miss you and I just wish you were a better man
I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand
But I just miss you and I just wish you were a better man
A better man”
(Better Man – Taylor Swift)
RACHEL ROTH was determined.
The moment she received that phone call, just two weeks before Christmas, she jumped for joy upon learning that she had been accepted into the criminology and criminal justice program at UCL—University College London. She was set to begin her studies in the upcoming spring semester. As a result, she would have to leave her life as a superhero behind to focus on her new career, which wasn’t exactly a problem.
This was the perfect opportunity to start anew—a life free of chaos, free from psychotic villains constantly threatening her well-being, and most importantly, free from suppressing her emotions because of her terrible father. After all, he had been defeated in the epic battle on her 17th birthday.
There was a time when Rachel felt content, even at peace, in the Tower. It had become a home of sorts, despite the lingering discomfort she felt within herself. But everything changed around six months ago.
It was the middle of the night when she received an urgent message from Azar, the monk who had cared for her throughout her childhood in Azarath. He delivered devastating news—her mother had taken her own life.
Angela, overwhelmed by the traumas and dark emotions brought on by her demonic heritage and poor choices, including marrying an interdimensional demon, could no longer bear the weight of her pain. It was as though her past was determined to haunt her, denying her even the smallest semblance of peace and robbing her of any chance to embrace the joys life had to offer.
That was the breaking point.
Rachel was determined to use her supernatural powers for good and break free from the cycle of torment. Always skilled at solving mysteries, she saw a career as a criminal investigator as the perfect fit for her.
Her teammates knew this well. Victor and Richard, who were like older brothers to her, supported her from the beginning, offering advice on how to ace the university application process—after all, Rae had never attended a traditional school—and how to better navigate social interactions.
Kory was equally supportive, making the most of their final weeks together by planning special “girls-only” outings. She also taught Rachel practical tips for surviving on her own as an independent woman in the dangerous streets of London.
Garfield, however, was the hardest part. They had been dating for nearly two years. After defeating her father and finally allowing herself to feel emotions, she had found herself captivated by him. They quickly fell into a relationship. But now, Rachel wondered if she had acted impulsively and selfishly in pursuing him the way she did. At 17, you don’t know much—you simply let your emotions take over, only to later consider the consequences and the impact your choices have on others’ lives.
Garfield would never say it out loud, but he was terrible at hiding his feelings. He didn’t want her to leave; he would feel completely lost without her. She was his golden compass amidst the stormy chaos of his life.
Not to mention, he had never had many plans or ambitions for his own future. Deep down, whether out of envy or fear of losing her due to the inevitable distance, he found himself unable to feel even a shred of happiness about her pursuing her dreams.
Long-distance relationships were out of the question for him. In his mind, the odds of success were slim to none. So, he decided he had to resort to other means.
Immature!
Garfield went as far as preparing lengthy speeches to convince her to abandon her dreams. Worse still, he even tried to sabotage her, lying that he had mailed her application letter when, in truth, he hadn’t. Thankfully, she discovered the truth in time and submitted the letter herself.
And of course, she forgave him—even though he didn’t deserve it.
“Unfortunately, that’s how 20-year-old boys are, my friend,” Kory said one day as they prepared snacks for Girls’ Night. “They like to act like adults, but they don’t. Men take forever to grow up, and they always seem more interested in their own problems than anyone else’s. Speaking from experience.”
“Well, he’d better learn to deal with it if he wants to be part of my life in the long run. He’s being selfish.”
“Or maybe it’s time for each of you to go your own way,” Kory replied.
Rachel felt tears well up in her eyes.
“You’re clearly caught in a cycle of emotional dependence. Whatever your relationship once was, it’s not healthy anymore. I think taking a step back really is the best option.”
Rachel knew her friend was right. It was the wisest decision to make. Yet, she could feel her heart breaking. She didn’t want to give up on this love story so easily...
December 24º, 2014
The common room of Titans Tower was a true masterpiece of Christmas cheer, brimming with colors, lights, and the welcoming warmth of the holiday spirit. At its center stood an immense Christmas tree, its top almost grazing the high ceiling of the room. Its branches were adorned with shiny ornaments in shades of red, gold, and silver, intertwined with strings of softly blinking lights. Miniature superhero figurines—like Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman—hung from the branches, alongside glass snowflakes and ornaments that looked handcrafted by the Titans themselves.
Wreaths and ribbons decorated the walls, while the sofa and armchairs were covered with gift-shaped cushions and holiday-themed prints. Above the fireplace, stockings personalized with each Titan’s emblem hung in a neat row. The central table was topped with a crown-shaped candelabra, its aromatic candles filling the air with hints of pine and cinnamon.
The hallways of the Tower were equally festive, draped with strings of lights and artificial pine garlands woven along the walls and banisters. Small, glittering ornaments, like stars and golden bells, dangled along the way, chiming softly whenever someone passed.
From the kitchen, which was connected to the common room, the irresistible aroma of Christmas dishes wafted through the air. There, Kory and Galfore worked side by side, occasionally debating the best way to prepare the roasted dishes. The sweet scent of gingerbread cookies mingled with the savory aroma of a turkey roasting in the oven and the rich, comforting smell of hot chocolate steaming in a pitcher on the counter.
It was nearly 7 PM, and Rachel, seated in one of the armchairs near the window, had been reading a book. Pausing for a moment, her gaze shifted to the view outside. The large glass windows framed Jump City, a dazzling spectacle of lights. Tall buildings, adorned with white and colorful decorations, stood out brightly against the dark sky. On the horizon, the streets flowed like rivers of light, while giant Christmas trees adorned public squares. The city’s glow, mirrored by the reflections in the room, created a magical atmosphere. A rare smile graced her lips, soaking in the warmth and joy of the moment.
The strapless dress shimmered in dark blue tones, hugging Rachel’s silhouette perfectly. Soft cotton-like trimming at the hem and sleeve edges evoked freshly fallen snow. Light makeup accentuated natural features, with bold purple lipstick adding a daring touch. Long lashes framed piercing eyes, enhanced by black eyeshadow that gave a mysterious allure. A light dusting of powder softened the complexion with a porcelain-like glow.
On the left arm, a simple gold bracelet glimmered in the light. The right hand displayed a modest promise ring that sparkled discreetly. Black high heels added sophistication, their soft clicks echoing through the hallways. Gold-plated, star-shaped earrings adorned the look, catching the light subtly with each movement.
Everything seemed perfectly in place—until it became clear someone was missing.
“Where’s Garfield?” Rachel asked Kory, who was heading to the bathroom to get ready. They had finally finished preparing the feast.
“Didn’t he go with Vic and Dick to pick up Karen at the airport?” Galfore asked.
“Actually, no. They went alone,” Kory replied. “I saw Gar leaving with the guys earlier this afternoon, and they still haven’t come back.”
“What guys? And when was this?”
“Garth, Wally, and Roy. I think it was about two hours ago. They suggested it because they noticed Gar was a bit stressed out.”
“Oh, that’s not good! Do you know where they went?”
“Unfortunately, no. I can send Garth a message if you want, ask him.”
“Yes, that would be great.”
With that, Kory grabbed her phone and dialed Garth.
“Take a deep breath, Rae, everything’s probably fine,” Galfore tried to reassure her.
“I know Garfield is grown up and can take care of himself, it’s just... he can’t have another relapse with drinking. If he does, all the months of treatment will be wasted, and he promised me he’d never drink again. Not today, of all days, when it’s such a special night for me.”
“Please, don’t worry in advance,” Galfore advised, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I know it’s not the easiest time for him, but Garfield is strong, and he’s focused on his journey. I know this because I attend his AA meetings with him every Monday.”
“Thank you,” she said, squeezing his hand.
It had been about three months since Galfore had come to Earth. The former great ruler of Tamaran had decided to temporarily step down from his responsibilities to take a vacation and spend some time with his daughter, Kory. He had brought along his youngest son, 7-year-old Ryan, and they were both staying at Titans Tower. Despite being on a break, Galfore was still very useful to the team. His vast medical skills and his wisdom, born from a life marked by wars and conflicts, made him an invaluable advisor.
Ryan, meanwhile, had just gotten out of the shower. With his hair still damp and messy, he ran into the living room. Though he wasn’t very interested in video games, his eyes lit up when he saw the TV program “Pretty Pretty Pegasus” which quickly captured his attention. He settled down on the couch, laughing at the adventures of the colorful ponies.
“Ryan, the TV’s too loud! Be careful, that can damage your hearing!” Kory warned.
“Got it, Captain!” he replied, saluting and turning the volume down on the remote.
“Friend, I’ve got news,” Kory said, approaching after hanging up the phone. “Garth told me they’re at Wildfire. It’s a well-known pub downtown. And... as for Garfield, he said it’s better if you see it for yourself.”
Rachel sighed.
“Great, that’s all I needed!” She rubbed her forehead.
“Do you want a ride there?”
“No, it’s fine, I can go on my own.”
“Alright, I’m really sorry, friend.” Kory touched her shoulder. “Now I really need to take a shower if I’m not going to be late, but if you need anything...”
“It’s fine, don’t worry.”
After saying those words, Rachel took a deep breath, closed her eyes, stretched her arms, and focused all her energy. Suddenly, a large portal appeared before her, dark and shifting in shades of black and deep blue.
“Whoa, that’s awesome!” Ryan exclaimed, followed by Kory quickly reprimanding him.
Still focused, Rachel crossed through it. On the other side was an alley, located in front of the Wildfire pub's façade. The sidewalk was noisy, filled with drunk people singing and talking.
And to her misfortune, when she entered the VIP section of the pub and found the quartet at a table near the bar, she understood Garth’s statement to Kory on the phone. Rachel sighed, exhausted, and fought to keep the tears from spilling from her watery eyes. She definitely hadn't expected to find him like this after everything. Garfield had made a promise, and he had broken it without much thought, at the first opportunity...
“Hey Rae,” Garth came toward her.
“Hey,” she gave a half-smile.
“I told them it wasn’t a good idea.”
“It’s fine, this isn’t your fault.”
Wally and Roy were visibly drunk too, clapping and whistling, but it wasn’t even comparable to Garfield. Who was even leading a Christmas carol with the waitress—it was the most out-of-tune version of "All I Want for Christmas Is You" Rachel had ever heard. Mariah Carey would be offended if she heard that.
Rachel felt her heart tighten. A crack had opened inside her. It was her trust, silently shattering. She clenched her fists until her knuckles turned white. She felt angry. This was unfair. She had helped him so much...!
The laughter echoed like hammer blows, and Garfield’s off-key shouts, now standing on a chair, seemed distant, muffled by the deafening noise of her own mind.
“This is a catastrophe!” Rae said, shaking her head and hiding her face with the palm of her hand.
“I’m really sorry about this. It was all Wally’s idea. I said it wasn’t a good idea,” Garth apologized, touching Rachel’s bare, pale shoulders.
“It’s fine, look, don’t blame yourself... I just need help getting him to the tower. You’re sober, right?”
“Yes, totally.”
“Okay, look, it’s really important to me that he’s there, even under these circumstances.”
“I’m totally at your disposal. I can give you a ride.”
“Thanks.” She smiled, her eyes locking for a while. Then, she quickly looked away and walked over to her boyfriend. “Gar, let’s go, please, our friends are waiting for us for dinner! And you still haven’t even showered!”
“Did the lovebirds stop talking?” Garfield practically shouted, spilling a shot of whiskey.
“Cut it out! Look at the mess you’ve gotten us into.”
“I highly doubt this guy is overwhelmed. Did anyone tell you it was his idea?” Garfield accused.
“Enough!” She tried to grab him by the waist to lead him to the exit. Garth was trying to convince Wally and Roy that it was time to go back.
“I don’t want to! Let go of me!” Garfield exclaimed, dropping his drink onto Rachel’s new dress.
She took a deep breath, feeling a vein bulge in her forehead.
Wally laughed at the situation, shouting, “Wow! Someone’s going to wake up with their mouth full of dirt tomorrow!” Followed by a “Ow!” after receiving a reprimanding elbow from Garth. Thanks to that, it drew the attention of everyone in the pub.
“You ruined my new dress!” Rachel took a deep breath, feeling a headache coming on. “Are you happy now? It’s not enough to ruin your night, now you want to ruin mine too?”
The only reaction from Garfield was to laugh and go back to humming.
“Enough!” Rachel’s two eyes turned into four thin, red eyes. In the blink of an eye, they were enveloped in a dark aura and vanished from the bar.
Leaving behind a crowd of curious onlookers.
When they returned to the living room of the Tower, Victor, Dick, Karen, and Galfore were talking, sitting at the counter, where Karen was recounting the unexpected events during her flight, while Ryan, sneakily, was about to steal a cookie when Rachel arrived with her teleportation, catching everyone by surprise.
“What happened?” Victor asked, noticing her dress and red eyes. It was also impossible not to smell the alcohol coming from Garfield.
Everyone in the room stood in shock and silence. Dick shook his head, disappointed. Galfore simply looked at the floor, and Karen stared at each of the faces present, trying to decipher what was going on.
The only one happy there was Ryan, who had managed to steal a handful of cookies before returning to his room.
“Ask your brother?” Rachel shot back, disappearing into the hallway and making her way, with heavy and hurried steps, to Anders’s room. After knocking three times, her friend opened the door, her red hair wrapped in a towel.
“Girl, what happened to your beautiful dress? Your makeup is all smudged.”
“You were right.” She sniffled. “We need to break up. He’s not mature enough for me!”
“Oh, girl.” Kory gave her a sympathetic look and made space for her to come in. “Let’s fix this dress and this makeup.”
Rachel was visibly calmer when she returned to the party, almost an hour later. She was wearing a yellow sweater, white jeans, and gray Converse sneakers – the only clothes of Kory’s that didn’t hang off her. But it was better than nothing.
The other guests had arrived and were listening to music and eating appetizers. Still, she could feel a heavy aura from everyone’s emotions, even if they didn’t show it; Garfield’s relapse with alcohol had shaken them.
“Hey, Rae!” She heard someone call from behind.
“Hey, Garth! How’s it going? Did you and the guys get home okay?” He was wearing a tuxedo, a traditional red tie, and shiny black shoes.
“Well, Wally threw up on a plant, and Roy hit his forehead on a marble wall, but let’s just say yes.” They both laughed. “But they preferred to spend Christmas at home, sleeping it off with a hangover.”
“I get it. You’ve got a lot of patience.”
“It’s the way it is.” He shrugged. “And I’m really sorry about your dress.”
“It’s okay, Star already took care of it.”
“She’s amazing.”
“Yeah, she is.”
“And how’s everything with you and Logan?”
Rachel took a deep breath.
“I don’t know…” She forced a smile and looked away. “But I think we’ll be okay… eventually.”
“Alright. Merry Christmas to you.” He hugged her, catching her by surprise.
“Merry Christmas!”
They quickly pulled apart, and Rachel watched as he walked away. Returning to herself, Rae approached Kory, who was talking to Karen.
Kory wore a shimmering purple dress. The style hugged her silhouette perfectly, daringly revealing the sides of her legs. Luxurious ruffles adorned the layered fabric, moving gently with each step. Every detail seemed to match: the delicate shimmer on the edges, the thin straps crisscrossing at the back, and the draping that accentuated her waist. Her long, red hair flowed like a fiery river down her back, silky and wavy. On her feet were ruby-red heels, so bright they looked like they were made of pure flame. The green-toned makeup highlighted her brown skin, complementing her emerald eyes.
Next to her, Karen radiated freshness and elegance with her natural beauty. Her short, warm, radiant yellow dress stood out for its light fabric and impeccable cut. The hem ended just above the knees, showcasing long, graceful legs, while delicate straps held the dress with ease. Her hair, a stunning black power style, crowned her head, giving her an air of royalty and perfectly framing her face. The matching yellow heels elongated her figure, giving her a confident, poised stance. Karen’s makeup was light on her brown skin, with soft pink shadows and a translucent shine on her lips.
“You know, I once dated a guy from England, and there’s nothing more exciting than the British accent,” Karen shared, giving a wink.
“Looks like you had a lot of fun,” Kory remarked, taking a sip of her whiskey.
“Of course. You only live once. But please, don’t tell Vic, he’d get really jealous if he knew. Besides, this was like, a year before we met.”
“Don’t worry, nothing’s leaving here, right Rae?”
“Yes,” Rachel agreed quietly.
“I’m really sorry about your dress,” Karen said. “It was so beautiful.”
“It’s fine. It’s in the past.”
“If you want, I can give you the number of my favorite stylist, her name’s Kole Weathers and she lives in London,” she said, sharing the contact info via WhatsApp.
“Thank you so much.”
“You two aren’t exactly in the best place, are you?”
“Unfortunately, no.”
“I have faith that you’ll find the magic you had again soon.”
“Thank you, Karen,” Rachel smiled.
“And what about you and Nightwing?” Karen turned to Kory.
“We broke up.”
“Really?” She widened her eyes. “When?”
“When I found out that, during a trip to Gotham to help his dad solve a Joker puzzle, he cheated on me with Barbara Gordon.”
“Wow, what a jerk! And she’s so...”
“Dishonest?"”Rae ventured.
“Tacky.” Karen finished.
“I’ll have to agree with that.” Kory laughed, taking another sip of her whiskey.
“Yeah... relationships are so complicated.” Rae said finally, letting out a deep sigh.
At that moment, Ryan ran past them, playing with the plastic toy airplane Victor had just given him.
“Ryan, please don’t run!” Galfore called out, following closely behind.
Near the drink cooler on the other side of the room, Victor Stone let out a hearty laugh. His armor served as his best suit.
“I love seeing kids happy,” he remarked.
“Well, someone has to be happy today,” Garfield said, sipping from a mug filled with strong espresso.
“Doesn’t look like you and Rae are doing so great tonight,” Victor pointed out, gesturing with his finger at the two of them standing on opposite sides of the room.
“Yeah... seems that way,” Garfield muttered, taking a drink from his juice.
“Anyone want some?” Dick offered, holding up a bottle of imported wine. “My dad insisted I bring Madrid’s finest. This beauty is over 100 years old.”
He was dressed formally, wearing a tuxedo with a red bow tie, and his hair—usually tousled—was perfectly slicked back with gel.
“Thanks, but I’ll have to pass. I’ve already had way too much today.”
“Alright.”
“I’ll take some!” Victor chimed in, raising his glass toward Dick for a pour.
“I guess we’re both terrible at making choices,” Dick said after downing a glass of wine in one go.
“Do you think there’s a chance you two could get back together someday?” Garfield asked.
“I doubt it. Star’s got a strong personality—mess up with her once, and that’s it.”
Garfield nodded in understanding, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
“I get how you feel.”
He sighed deeply, letting his coffee rest on the table as he lowered his head.
“I think I really screwed up today. Honestly, I’ve been screwing up a lot lately. My head’s killing me... Do you think Rae will forgive me?”
“If you really decide to change, I think she will,” Victor replied. “But the first step in all of this is apologizing. You did ruin her dress. And you also broke her trust.”
“That was an accident!”
“Was relapsing into alcohol an accident too?” Dick asked.
“Says the guy who just offered me a drink less than ten minutes ago,” Gar shot back.
“Consistency was never really his strong suit,” Victor added.
Dick flipped them off.
“And to answer your question, yes, it was Garth’s fault!” Gar began raising his voice. “Now he’s acting all saintly around her, and she’d rather believe him than me!”
“You do give her reasons,” Vic pointed out.
“I wouldn’t trust you either,” Dick said flatly.
“Whose side are you even on?” Gar demanded.
“Look, man, don’t take it the wrong way, it’s just that... ever since Rae said she was moving to another country, you’ve changed,” Vic started. “You’ve been more possessive, more on edge.”
“Selfish,” Dick added.
“Yeah, selfish above all. You seem only willing to see your own pain and forget to look at things from Rae’s perspective. She loves you! But she also has her own dreams, and after everything she’s been through with her mother, you should be supporting her and letting her know you’re with her no matter what. Understand?” Vic said, setting his drink aside.
“And stop acting like a cold jerk who doesn’t care about anything. Try being the guy Rae needs right now and stop behaving like a spoiled brat. Trust me, you’ll regret your actions once she’s gone,” Dick said, glancing subtly at Kory.
“You’ve just got to hold on, man,” Vic said, patting his shoulder. “Hold on through whatever it takes and follow your heart. You and Rae have everything it takes to go the distance. I’ve advised and watched over you two since the beginning, and I can tell you, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen such a beautiful and genuine love like yours. So, please, do something about it. Go apologize, say something meaningful. Don’t be the jerk you were at the pub today. Rae deserves so much better than that.”
“Thanks, Vic. I know exactly what to do now.” Garfield smiled, quickly hugging his two friends before downing the rest of his espresso in one go to muster up some courage.
He stumbled through the crowd of guests, greeting a few familiar faces. When he got close to Rachel, he almost knocked her over, prompting her to roll her eyes and quickly cross her arms.
“You really shouldn’t have gone overboard with the drinks.”
“Yeah, I think so too.”
“Do you need anything?”
“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”
“Gee, you think?”
“Well, Rae, I can’t figure out what I did wrong if you don’t tell me.”
“Why don’t you try guessing?”
““Oh, sure, I can try. Every time that vein pops on your forehead, it’s a sign you’re stressed. Like right now. Your body language is telling me this isn’t good news for me”.
“You’re drunk. And on our last night together, you show up like this. You humiliated me and nearly ruined my evening. It’s Christmas, for crying out loud! My last Christmas as a Titan!”
“Have you considered that the fact you’re leaving is what made me drink?”
“Ah, so now it's my fault?!”
“Look, I'm sorry, I messed up. I shouldn't have stained your dress or embarrassed you in front of our friends and strangers. It's just that...”
“Logan, do you even know where you are right now?”
“At your farewell party.”
Rachel rolled her eyes again.
“You've drunk so much, it's hard to breathe with your vodka breath.” She pointed out, threatening to turn away when he grabbed her arm by the wrist.
“Wait!”
Without warning, Garfield knelt down. Everyone present was confused. A murmur could be heard. The lively music abruptly stopped.
“What are you doing?” Rachel asked.
“I'm giving you a good enough reason to stay.”
“I think you’ve got it all wrong, buddy!” Victor rushed over, followed by Dick.
“No, no, leave it to me. I know what I'm doing.” With his left hand, he rummaged through his pocket for the plastic ring he had borrowed from Ryan, the one the boy had gotten as a prize from a cereal box about two months ago.
“She really needs to...” Dick tried to speak, but was interrupted.
“What a situation!” Kory said, impatient, with her hands on her hips.
“They did warn me he was impossible.” Karen murmured.
“I know, sometimes we drive ourselves crazy...” Garfield refocused on Rachel.
“Get up! Are you listening to me?” Roth said, trying her best not to make eye contact with him.
“...But I can't imagine my life without you.”
“Logan, please, get up!” Kory intervened, her voice raised.
“And I won't let you do something you'll regret.”
“Please, don't do this!” Rachel begged.
“Rachel Roth, do you want...”
“No, Garfield, I don't want to marry you!!!”
“But I haven’t even finished making my proposal.”
“Garfield, I’m leaving, you have to accept that!”
He stood up.
“No… no… no. You’re not just leaving, you’re running away, Rachel!”
“Let’s talk somewhere more private, okay?”
“No! You’re not just running from your demon father, you’re running from your home, the Titans, our friends, our family!” he explained, pointing to everyone present. “That I know you love, and also, you’re running from me… and you’ve completely forgotten about me!”
“You know that’s not true.”
“Yes, it is! You want to escape everything that reminds you of your roots! You’re being cowardly!”
“Logan! I’m not talking about this right now!”
“Want to know? If your mom were here, she'd be disappointed in you, but on the other hand, if she were still here, I don't think we'd even be in this situation.”
“Don't talk about my mom!” Rae hated herself for feeling her voice tremble, like glass about to shatter, and for realizing that the treacherous tears were already escaping like silent rivers in front of everyone.
“Well, that's the truth.” He waved his arms around.
“It's over!” Rae declared, her eyes overflowing with tears.
“Do you want to know the fuck?! I think this was already over!” Garfield retorted.
“I never want to see you again!” She shouted, her cheeks flushed.
“Well, I think that already happened when you decided to move to the other side of the world!” He yelled, slamming his hand on the table and knocking the stuffed turkey dish to the floor. Frightened, Ryan jumped into his sister's arms, curled up.
Rachel went upstairs to her room and cried uncontrollably into her pillow, unsure of what to think. She could only make one promise to herself: that she would never go back and would never have to see Garfield Logan's stupid face again in her life!