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Dan watched his prey like a hawk, eyes keenly tracing over every curve, every movement. It was only a matter of time before he found the chance to strike. Any second now the other man would come over to his aisle, and when that happened-
“Dude, you’re drooling.”
Letting out a yelp, Dan quickly put some distance between him and his friend, Brian. He grimaced and rubbed his ear, where he still felt the tingle of Brian’s breath. “What the hell, man? I thought I told you not to sneak up on me!”
“Oh, I guess I forgot.” Brian had the most wicked smirk on his face, one that Dan wanted to wipe right off so he could see that gleam of amusement fade from his eyes. And he just might’ve, if he didn’t have other, more important, things to do.
“Whatever.” Within seconds he had found his target again, and to his horror, the other man was staring right at him. Then he was gone before Dan could even blink. Dan turned to Brian, a scowl on his face. “You drove him away.”
“No, no, no, no,” Brian said, shaking his head. “Don’t go pinning your shortcomings on me. It’s not my fault you make an easy target.”
“It’s totally your fault!”
Brian simply barked out a laugh and leaned against the counter. “If you had the balls to go talk to him, none of this would’ve happened.”
Dan rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the feeling of ‘shit, maybe he’s right’ creeping up on him. “Look, man,” he hastily explained while scanning a woman’s items. “I doubt he would want some giant, muppety-looking motherfucker awkwardly trying to flirt with him.” He pointedly ignored the bewilderment on her face as he gave her change back. “And it’s not like my career path will win him over.”
“What are you talking about?” Brian actually sounded appalled. He put one arm around Dan’s shoulders and tsked. “Have you forgotten about Ninja Sex Party? You may not be the smarter, or the,” he let out one of those single, airy, asshole-ish chuckles, “better-looking half, but you’re still a half.”
“A half,” Dan repeated flatly. “Half of a band that writes songs about dicks, lasers, dinosaurs, and satanists that like cookies.” His shoulders slumped as he sighed deeply. “What if he’s more sophisticated than that?”
“Did you even see what he was wearing?” Before Dan could answer, Brian cut in, “Of course not. You were too busy ogling his ass.”
Dan’s face went red, but he didn’t dare dignify that with a response. He wasn’t ogling. Just… Sneaking a peek. There was nothing wrong with looking.
“Let me spell it out for you: anime t-shirt, sweat-pants, hoodie.” As he spoke Brian counted off on his fingers. “I highly doubt he’s looking for someone to go to the opera-house with.”
“There’s an opera-house?”
“Not the point.” Brian spun Dan around, placed his hands firmly on his shoulders, and looked him right in the eye. “You can win him over, man. Trust me. I have a PhD.”
In that moment, despite Brian’s usual arrogance, Dan knew that his friend really believed in him. He struggled to find the right thing to say, any form of gratitude he could give. He opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes were drawn to something over Brian’s shoulder and the words spilled out like a river of pending regret. “Get under the counter.”
After the initial shock, a predatory grin split Brian’s face. “Want me at crotch-level, huh?”
“Brian!” Dan squeaked indignantly, trying to keep his voice down. “Just do it! And hurry up!”
“Okay, okay,” Brian said complacently, ducking down into the empty space under the counter. “You certainly know how to make me listen, daddy.”
“I’m so gonna kill you when this is over,” Dan said through gritted teeth. His crush was right there, looking at all the aisles while tapping his fingers on the handle of his cart. His eyes, those warm brown eyes, passed over him, and Dan’s whole world stopped for a second. He smiled, hoping that what little charm he had would work in his favor.
The other man quickly looked away and pushed his cart to a full aisle.
“Can I come out now? This is starting to get a little uncomfortable.”
Dan could only answer with a soft “uh-huh”, still in shock over what happened. His crush looked him right in the eye, saw his completely empty aisle, and still chose somewhere else. If that wasn’t a bad sign, he didn’t know what was. Did he realize that Dan had been watching him? Was he creeped out beyond all belief?
“Dude, rough break. I mean, I didn’t see what happened, but I can read you like a book.” Brian playfully nudged Dan’s arm and continued, “Don’t let that get you down. You’re Danny Sexbang, for christ’s sake. You can snag anyone you want.”
Pure exhaustion settled deep in Dan’s bones. Never before had he felt so done with everything. He just wanted to go home, smoke a little, and sleep for eighteen hours. “Hey, thanks for the vote of confidence, but you’re kinda distracting me from work.”
“Oh, sorry. I’ll just, uh… Go mess with Ross or something.”
Dan didn’t acknowledge Brian as he left. His mind was buzzing with confusion and a strange humor about the situation. He didn’t even know the guy’s name and he was acting like a widow. It was absurd, so he let himself laugh at the situation, releasing all that pent up emotion that would otherwise make him cry.
When he was done, he ran a hand through his curls and mumbled, “I’m such a moron.”
Soon enough the afternoon rush came in and kept his mind too busy to not linger on that incident. Still, a cloud of doubt constantly hung over him, weighing down his usual sunny smile and slowing every move he made.
He quickly glanced at the clock. Only a few more minutes until his shift was over. Deep breaths. He could make it.
A cleared throat caught his attention. Standing in front of him was a little potato of a woman who was giving him a mean stink eye. Oddly enough, she reminded him of his third grade teacher. Still, he smiled and began ringing up her items. Wouldn’t do to judge a book by its cover.
Quite abruptly she shoved a coupon in his face, making him go cross-eyed. He gingerly plucked it from her hands and gave it a once over. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this expired yesterday.”
“What?” Her voice sounded like fifty nails on a chalkboard harmonizing with a hoard of dying cats. “Check again.”
“Okay…” He looked at the coupon again, and sure enough, the expiration date didn’t change. “It’s still expired.”
“Stupid boy!” she screamed and shook her fist at him. Usually Dan would’ve laughed at how cliche that was, but the dark cloud above him turned into a full on storm at those words.
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” Dan said, his smile becoming more strained with every word. “If you’d like, I could show you some of the offers we have here.”
“No,” she hissed with a sneer, “I came here with that coupon, and you’re going to use it! You idiotic, good-for-nothing, waste-of-space!”
She kept going, but he didn’t register any of it. Dan’s mind left his body, and he was back in third grade, wiping his tears and holding a failed test in his hand all because he didn’t use the right number pencil. Stupid, annoying, crybaby. Never would go anywhere in life. And it was true. Many, many years later, and here he was, working part time at a grocery store as a simple clerk, crying just as he did when he was a kid.
People don’t change. He’d never make it in a world full of adults. The dick jokes, the music, the crying- he was too immature for anyone to love. And that screaming voice pounded that into him, over and over, until he had to grab his own hair and tug it just to find base in reality.
A voice cut through the haze, one that he almost recognized, “Hey. you crotchety old bitch! Leave him alone!”
Dan tried seeing who his savior was, but his brain was still in the midst of short-circuiting and his vision was all blurry. He could only listen to the argument he knew was about to happen, powerless.
“Excuse me?” the woman turned away from him, no longer spouting poison, but now blissfully silent.
“You heard me! If you don’t stop bothering him, I’ll take you for a walk through a graveyard! I’m not afraid of kicking an ass saggier than my nutsack!”
He could hear grumbling, a screeching curse, then footsteps. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Hands on his shoulders, whose hands were on his shoulders?
Meeting those eyes that he’d recognize anywhere, he came to the conclusion that he had actually died and gone to Heaven, Or Hell. He really didn’t know.
The lips so close to him, kissably close, moved, but he didn’t hear anything come out. With a shaky voice he asked, “Sorry, what?”
“I said, ‘Are you okay?’” Oh, man. He sounded so much better up close and personal, without the din of the market getting in the way.
“Uh, yeah, yeah.” He wiped his face with his wrists, hoping that his eyes weren’t as red as he thought. “I don’t know what got over me. But thanks, uh...”
That earned him a smile. “Name’s Arin. And don’t listen to whatever that bitch said. I’m sure she’s just pissed cause her old lady diaper’s full or some shit.”
Dan laughed- it was a little hollow, but still an actual laugh- and said, “Oh, I’m sure.”
“Seriously.” Arin seemed to move in a bit closer, but that easily could’ve been Dan’s overactive imagination. “None of what she said is true. I should know, I’ve been crushing hard on you for weeks now.”
He didn’t even register what Arin had said until he was halfway through a polite wave-off. When he did, he froze like a deer in headlights. “What?”
“I get huge boners for you, dude. Like, all the time.” He avoided Dan’s eyes and rubbed sheepishly at the back of his neck.
A moment passed. Then another. And suddenly Danny found himself laughing again because this motherfucker. All this time he’d been pining for this man, putting him up on some pedestal like he was an untouchable god, and this was what he got? A dork just like him?
Arin’s own laughter joined in, and the two were nearly collapsing on top of one another. After Dan calmed enough to speak, he asked, “Why didn’t you say so sooner?”
“I dunno.” Arin’s face turned a light shade of pink, contrasting his nonchalant shrug. “I guess I was too nervous to talk to you.”
“Well, I get huge boners for you too.”
Arin’s eyes lit up like the fourth of July. “Really? Oh, shit, hold on one sec.”
Dan watched with one eyebrow raised as Arin whipped out his phone and sent a text. Arin must’ve known Dan would be curious, since he said without even looking up, “There’s someone I want you to meet.”
In no time at all they were joined by a woman, and holy shit Dan found his heart kicking up several notches. She had a bright smile on her face as she took the two of them in, lingering on Dan for a moment before turning to Arin. “What’s up?”
Arin grabbed her hands and grinned. “He digs me too.”
“That’s so awesome!” Her thumbs swiped over Arin’s hands as she asked, “So, should we?”
As much as Dan would’ve loved to watch these two beautiful, beautiful people some more, there were some vital questions that needed to be answered. “Should you what?"
They both turned toward him, keeping two hands clasped together. Arin took the role of spokesman, eyes quickly flicking down to Dan’s nametag then back up, “Dan, this is Suzy. She’s my girlfriend.”
Dan liked to consider himself a worldly person. He’d travelled a lot and seen many things. So he had a fairly good idea where this was headed. “Oh?”
“And,” Suzy added, taking a moment to sweep her bangs out of her eyes, “we were wondering if you wanted to go out with us.”
Dan said nothing. He simply watched them: their intertwined hands, the matching streaks of blonde in their hair, the twin, hopeful smiles on their faces. He couldn’t believe, out of everyone they could have chosen, that it was him. It brought tears to his eyes.
They were on him in a heartbeat, both touching his face and rubbing his back, helping him to release everything. Somewhere between shaky breaths and the bumbling touches he returned, he said, “Shit, sorry, I’d love too.”
Two sets of soft lips pressed against his cheeks, and his heart nearly gave out. A deep voice in his right ear said, “We’ll pick you up after you get off tomorrow.”
“And you don’t have to worry about what to wear. We’ll just be hanging out at our house,” the higher one in his left added.
Dan could only nod dumbly, too overtaken with affection. As they left, he watched, his lips pulling up into a dopey smile. The memory of their kisses left a pleasant tingle on his face. He didn’t even jump as Brian put an arm around his shoulders and whistled lowly.
“Damn. Two for one, huh? That’s almost as good as my PhD.”
“Shove it up your ass, Brian,” Dan replied, not even the least bit annoyed.