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Dan would’ve sworn on his left testicle that he had set his alarm. So he slept peacefully, with complete faith that the next day would be just as good as the last. Well, besides all the crying and emotional turmoil. So really he just wanted it to be like that evening, where he finally got to confess to his crush- with the added bonus of a beautiful lady.
Even in his dreams he could feel the soft touches of Suzy, hear Arin’s comforting voice, almost taste the two of them on his lips.
A hand shaking his shoulder pulled him out of sleep, making him groan at the unfairness of it all. “Barry, c’mon,” he whined, swatting away the hand and peeking a single eye open. “Don’t wake me up before my alarm.”
“But, uh,” Barry trailed off, a conflicted look on his face. “You should’ve left for work ten minutes ago. Did you get today off or something?”
Dan was almost on the verge of falling back asleep, but as soon as those words left Barry’s mouth, he shot up and checked the time on his phone. “Are you fucking serious with this shit!?” He scrambled out of bed and grabbed random clothes from his dresser, not caring about decency as he changed into them.
“So, I guess that’s a no?” Barry asked, one hand covering his eyes.
“No, man. God damn it, I’m gonna be late!” Dan rushed out of the room as soon as his shoes were on, leaving a perplexed Barry behind.
Work was a good half-hour walk away- he always walked because save the Earth and all that crap- but if he ran he could probably make it on time. And he didn’t care how ridiculous he looked sprinting down the road trying desperately to comb his fingers through the rat’s nest of his hair. Why the fuck did he decide to grow it out?
His lungs burned and his sides ached, but he made it with a minute to spare. Sure, he didn’t win any favor from his boss, but he technically didn’t do anything wrong, so whatever. Soon enough he was at his aisle, ready for the day ahead.
Brian sauntered over before any customers could get there and looked Dan from head to toe with wide eyes. “Wow, Danny, nice outfit. I mean, really, you look great today.” He waved a hand to Dan’s rumpled shirt and frayed jean combo. “What is this, homeless-chic?”
“Today’s not the day for your bullshit,” Dan warned with a slight edge to his voice. It just became clear to him how screwed he was in trying to impress his dates. He tapped his fingers against the counter.
“Okay, sorry,” Brian said, without a hint of sarcasm. “But seriously, you look like a wreck.”
“I know, man.” Dan sighed deeply and hunched over some. “I woke up super late and had to rush over here. God, Arin and Suzy are gonna be really disappointed.”
Brian’s eyes sparkled, and for once Dan wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. “I can bring you a change of clothes.”
Now, he had two, equally awful choices. Risk the chance of putting his lovely, lovely dates off with his homeless-chic, or let Brian put together his outfit. He narrowed his eyes at Brian, and found no obvious sign of ill-intent. “Okay, fine.”
“Great!” Brian laughed and slapped Dan’s back. “It shouldn’t take me too long to get it all together, so just wait here for daddy, okay?” He took off and practically shouted for all the store to hear, “My baby-boy’s gonna look so handsome on his first date!”
“Cut it out with the daddy kink!” Dan yelled after him and slammed his hands on the counter, earning several wide-eyed stares. After a brief moment of silence, he nodded at a man in his aisle and faked a smile. “Good afternoon, sir. Paper or plastic?”
Twenty some-odd customers and a lunch break later, Dan realized that Brian was a goddamn liar. If he didn’t get there on time, Dan was going to take a shit on his front porch. Especially since there was incident at lunch that left his shirt stained and smelling like mustard.
He looked at the clock. Half an hour until Arin and Suzy were supposed to pick him up. He swallowed thickly.
Time seemed to drag on until Brian finally arrived with a bag in hand. Wordlessly and without skipping a beat, he grabbed Dan’s arm and lead him away from the aisle.
Dan sputtered and tried to wrench his arm free, but only ended up hurting himself. Damn his spindly, noodle-like physique. “Brian! I’ve still got five minutes left!”
In the restroom Brian let go and shoved the bag in Dan’s hands. With a point to the bag, then one to an empty stall, he stared at Dan with that blank, yet somehow stern, expression that he only used as Ninja Brian.
To his credit, Dan lasted at least five seconds under The Stare. But a mere mortal could only take so much. He brought the bag into the stall, pulled out the shirt within, and immediately felt regret wash over him. He should’ve known.
Written on the shirt in huge, bold, white letters, was “Brian Wecht has a PhD”. He took a deep breath in, and let it out slowly. “Brian,” he called out like a disappointed father, “do you really expect me to wear this?”
“Well, it’s either that or the gross rag you’re already wearing.”
“…Point taken.” He quickly changed into the fresh shirt and pulled on the pants that went with it. At least his lower half was normal. If Arin or Suzy questioned the shirt, he’d just say he lost a bet or something. No big deal.
Stepping out of the stall, he held his arms out and raised an eyebrow at Brian. “Happy?”
Grinning, Brian answered, “Very. Have fun on your date.”
Dan let himself smile. “I will. And thanks, man. The shirt’s kind of an asshat move, but you just might have a heart after all.”
Brian chuckled and looked down at the floor almost sheepishly. “Yeah, I guess.” His eyes immediately snapped back up and all humor drained from his face. “But if you tell anyone that I did something nice, I will kill you. Do you understand me, Daniel Avidan?”
Dan blinked owlishly. “Uh, yeah. Okay. Catch you later!” He would’ve been lying if he had said he didn’t nearly piss himself as he left the restroom. And he knew deep down that it was a joke, but that didn’t stop the cold chill crawling down his back. He checked over his shoulder, expecting to see those piercing blue eyes observing him from the shadows like a cartoon villain.
“Dan!”
His heart thumped in his chest, clearly trying to escape. Oh god, Arin was already here. He looked forward, mouth open to say greet him.
His mind became nothing but white noise. Arin looked absolutely gorgeous. The eye-shadow, the lipstick, the blush- holy shit, Dan never thought that a guy would be able to pull it off so well. It was artfully subtle, but hot damn.
All that translated into, “Uh, makeup?”
“Oh, Suzy did it for me,” Arin replied with a proud smile. He brought a hand up to showcase his face. “You like?”
“Uh-huh.” Dan felt his face go red, but he somehow powered through it. “Maybe I should ask her to do mine too,” he added as a joke. Or at least it was supposed to be one. But maybe he was half-serious? He didn’t know. “I still wouldn’t look as good as you, though.”
Dan would gladly reverse time over and over just to rewatch the way Arin practically glowed at the compliment. “Thanks. But you look great, man!” His eyes trailed down to Dan’s shirt, and he raised an eyebrow. “Um…?”
“I lost a bet with my friend,” Dan spat out quickly. “He’s like an egomaniac or something, can’t shut up about how better he is than everyone.” He felt them- the daggers in his back. Brian was watching. “It’s not the first time I’ve been an unwilling advertisement.”
Arin looked over Dan’s shoulder, his lips pursing together to hold back a smile. He nodded his head toward Dan. “That him?”
With a muttered curse, Dan checked and saw a smirking Brian making rather explicit hand gestures toward the two of them. “Unfortunately.”
He nearly jumped when Arin’s hand entwined with his own. ”Seem’s like a funny guy. I’d like to meet him sometime.” It was obviously that he was trying hard not to laugh outright. “C’mon, Suzy’s waiting for us in the car.”
Dan let himself be led, basking in the fact that Arin was holding his hand. It was a little rough, like his own, but Dan found himself oddly liking it. He had to wonder, were Suzy’s hands rough too? Or were they soft? His thoughts quickly took a life of their own, hopping around from subject to subject, wondering what would happen, worrying that he would screw up everything. When was the last time he even went on a date?
“You nervous?”
“Hm?” Dan pulled himself out of that headspace. Things were going to be perfectly fine. He gave Arin’s hand a light squeeze. “Nah, man. I’m good.”
“You sure?” Arin’s voice had a hint of teasing in it. “‘Cause it feels like I could just lick your hand to get a nice, refreshing, salty drink.” For emphasis he smacked his lips together.
“Aw, dude, gross,” Dan said between chuckles. “Why would you want to do that?”
They stepped outside and into the cool refreshing air. There was enough space between their palms to let the breeze through, and Dan realized just how clammy his hands were. Just great.
“Well, I’m a thirsty bitch, Dan.” Arin moved his head closer, his breath tickling Dan’s ear as he said lowly, “And I want some practice licking, if you know what I mean.”
Dan burst into a fit of nervous giggles and ran his free hand through his hair. Casual sex? Hell yeah. But this level of flirting with someone he liked, so soon? That was a surprise.
A pleasant one.
“I’m just joking, man,” Arin said with a chuckle of his own. “I’m not gonna try to hold back any part of who I am.” His thumb stroked the back of Dan’s hand lovingly. “I hope you’re in for a lot of dick jokes and heavy flirting.”
How could Arin be this comfortable with himself? It amazed Dan to no end, and it was one of the reasons his crush on the other man started in the first place. Arin dressed like he didn’t give a fuck, and he pulled it off flawlessly.
“Hey, just as long as that heavy flirting gets upgraded to heavy petting eventually,” Dan said casually, casting a playful smile Arin’s way.
They continued their chat as they strolled to the far end of the parking lot, until out of nowhere, Suzy pulled Dan away from Arin and into a bear hug. “Don’t think I’m gonna let Arin have you all to himself, Danny.”
He returned the hug with enthusiasm. “Never was a thought, Suz- wait, ‘Danny’?” Did they know? Fuck, they couldn’t know, not yet. Wait, why the hell did he care? His music was awesome and funny, surely they would like it.
But what if they didn’t?
“Yeah.” Suzy reached up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Danny’s like a cuter version of Dan, and since you’re pretty cute, I thought it would fit.”
“Oh, okay, cool,” Dan tried to keep the relief out of his voice. Bullet, consider yourself dodged.
Suzy giggled and pulled away. Then it was like watching a rerun: eyes went down and brow went up. “Nice shirt?”
Arin snickered behind his hand while Dan let out an exasperated sigh. “Thanks.”
Brian was definitely going to get it.
Hours later found the three of them on Arin and Suzy’s couch, Arin seated in the middle with both Dan and Suzy snuggled up to his sides. Dan had seen the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy on their shelf, and after learning that neither of his dates had seen any of the movies- the blasphemy!- he suggested they all watch it.
Every once in awhile Arin would say “holy shit, dude” with stars in his eyes and Dan would feel a rush of joy. And when Suzy reached over Arin to take Dan’s hand and just hold it, all was right with the world. Lord of the Rings, soft hands, perfect dates, what more could he ask for?
The credits started rolling on the screen, pulling everyone out of their movie trance.
“That was amazing, Danny!” Suzy praised him, sitting up a bit straighter. “We should watch the second one!”
Arin glanced at the clock. “I didn’t think it would be that long. We could continue,” he gave Dan a side-glance, hope written on his face, “if, you know, you want to.”
From behind Arin, Suzy gave him the cutest puppy-dog pout he’d seen in a long while.
“How could I say ‘no’ to those faces?” Dan teased. As Arin and Suzy high-fived, he got down on the floor to switch the DVD player over to the second movie, completely care free.
“Danny?”
He popped the first movie back into its case. “Yeah, Suz?”
“Why does your ass say ‘Sexbang’?”
…Fucking Brian.
“Well,” he said slowly with a click of his tongue, moving back onto the couch. His eyes stayed glued onto the TV as the menu popped up. “I’m in a band called Ninja Sex Party. That’s my alias.”
“Whoa, really?” Suzy asked. “That’s awesome!”
“Yeah, you should let us hear your music sometime.” Arin wrapped his arm around Dan’s waist and pulled him closer. “And we’ll totally add some bang to your sex afterwards.”
A grin split Dan’s face. Yeah, things were going to be okay- unlucky day and Brian’s trickery be damned.