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It wasn’t her plan. Really, it wasn’t. If anything, she was supposed to hate this woman, General Sarah Alder. She knows of the awful things she’s done and she doesn’t agree with them.
Instead, she hates the warmth that fills her chest at knowing her first name. And she hates the fact that she often whispers her name beneath her breath when she looks at her as if speaking some sort of prayer.
But she can’t help it.
There were too many moments in between where Tally looked at her and it felt like when Sarah looked back at her, there was something more.
It started one day during training.
She pulls out her scourge and swings at Raelle in an attempt to catch her ankles and send her crashing onto her back.
Raelle laughs and jumps over it. “Oh come on, Tal’, you’re going to have to try harder than that.”
Tally huffs and pulls her scourge back to her side. “I am, Raelle.”
“Oh,” Raelle shrugs, “Well then,” she takes a step back and teeters dramatically on her heel. “Ouch.”
Tally rolls her eyes. “Seriously, Raelle. You know, we all have our expertise, and mine is being a knower, so really, I’m doing good.”
Raelle swings her scourge. “You’re knowing is not going to stand up against a witch with a scourge, Tal’, you’ve got to learn this.” She hits it against the ground before taking a step forward. “For example,” she swings wide and catches one of Tally’s thighs.
She groans as she hits the ground. Hard. A dull pain forms in the back of her head. “Ow,” she complains.
Raelle only laughs and offers her hand to Tally. “Come on, let’s try again.”
Tally pouts but with little choice, and Anacostia’s keen eye on their performance, she accepts Raelle’s hand and stands up.
She shakes out her aches and repositions herself. “How about this time, you tell me how to hit you?”
Raelle shrugs, “Hm, no.”
“Oh come on,” Tally whines.
She’s on the ground again three minutes later. She supposes she should take pride in her record. Except for the fact that she was at two losses and zero wins.
She sighs and pushes herself onto her elbows in preparation for another round and squeezes her eyes shut in an attempt to push away her aches. When she hears footsteps draw close to her she speaks, “Rae, help me up.”
A voice smoother and deeper than Raelle’s responds to her. “I fear that may be inappropriate of me, Ms Craven, it would be wrong of me to show favouritism.”
Tally’s eyes shoot open and she immediately splutters as she realises just who she’d addressed so casually. “Oh! Um, sorry General Alder.” She bows her head. “I mean no disrespect, I-”
Warm laughter slips past Sarah’s lips. “At ease, Ms Craven. It is a joke.”
“Oh,” Tally responds as she stands up. “Ha-ha.” She winces. Way to act professional in front of your General, Tally.
Sarah hums and glances between Raelle and Tally. A moment passes before she speaks again. “Are you in need of support, Ms Craven?”
Tally holds her hands up. “No, it’s okay, General. It’s just training, I’ll get better, I promise.”
Sarah places her hand on Tally’s shoulder. “It is no trouble. After all, a General is nothing without her soldiers.” She flicks her eyes over to Raelle. “May I step in, Ms Collar?”
Raelle only grins when she catches the pleading look in Tally’s eyes begging her to not leave her with the General. “Oh, of course,” she waves a hand loosely in the air. “I’ll find another training partner.”
“Very well,” Sarah responds before moving over to the place where Raelle was last standing. She pulls her scourge off her belt and directs Tally to do the same. “Shall we begin?”
Tally’s hand shakes as she reaches for her own. It was one thing to be thrown on your back by one of your best friends. But to have it done by the General of the army? She’s not sure she could live down that kind of shame. She forces down her fears and smiles. “I’m ready.”
She’d learn to regret those words.
This was the tenth time her back had met the floor and she was convinced she was starting to bruise. On top of that, the rest of the class had long since left, leaving just her and the General in the room. She stares at the ceiling and contemplates her life choices. Maybe she should have listened to her mother and not joined the army. It certainly would have saved her the humiliation.
She heaves out a sigh. And her view becomes obscured by General Alder’s face.
“Are you alright, Ms Craven? You are improving, I assure you,” Sarah says, looking down at her with a frown on her face. “But if I am pushing you too hard, we may stop.”
Tally tries to force herself to be professional, but she’s covered in sweat and her back is killing her. “I’m never going to get this. Maybe I’m not meant for the army.”
She expects General Alder to berate her or even assign her more training to make up for her insubordination.
Instead, what looks like concern sits in her eyes. She ducks down by Tally’s side. “You are meant for the army, Ms Craven. You are exceptional.”
Tally’s not sure if the heat that develops on her cheeks is from exertion or her proximity to her General as she speaks those words to her. “I-” she swallows, “you’ve got me wrong.”
Sarah shakes her head. “I never have my soldiers wrong.” She offers her hand to Tally.
But the action doesn’t feel the same as when Raelle had done it. It feels… intimate. She bites her lip and slides her hand into General Alder’s and feels the years of calluses healed over from the war on each part of it.
Her touch is gone from Tally more quickly than she’d like.
But what happens next convinces Tally that the heat on her cheeks was not from exertion. General Alder slides around behind her and wraps her hands around Tally’s.
“Reach for you scourge,” she commands.
All Tally can do is oblige.
“Perhaps merely watching the motions is not enough. So, I will provide a hands-on approach,” Sarah says, her breath ghosting across Tally’s neck. “Relax into me and follow my movements.”
Tally shivers and can only nod in response.
It seems to be a response enough for Sarah. “Good.”
Slowly but surely, General Alder leads her through several motions that make up the perfect form for wielding a scourge. “When you reach this point,” Sarah says, “you must strike and strike hard. Any sooner or later and your opponent will surely best you.”
General Alder pulls her closer until her back is pressed up against her front. “To wield a scourge is to wield power and control. You must give it this for it to give you something in return.” She directs Tally’s body forward to unleash a cracking whip of the scourge against the ground. “Like that.”
Tally’s breath grows unsteady. She knows that right now, her thoughts on her General are anything but professional and certainly not something a soldier should be thinking. She wets her lips. “I, um, I think I’ve got it.” She pulls herself out of General Alder’s arms and turns to look at her. “Thank you, General.”
Sarah tilts her head to her side as if she were contemplating something. A small almost imperceptible smile forms on her face. “My name is Sarah.”
Tally frowns. “Oh, thank you for sharing, General.”
Sarah quirks an eyebrow upwards.
“Sarah?” Tally dares to say.
A small nod is the only answer Tally receives. “If you need further training, do not hesitate to reach out to me, Ms Craven.”
Tally pushes a smile onto her face and waves at her General, no, Sarah. “I will!”
When Sarah leaves the room, Tally heaves out a breath. What the hell was that?
When she tells Abigail and Raelle what happened later that night, they have nothing useful to tell her in response. Raelle jokes that Tally is simply General Alder’s favourite, and Abigail warns her to improve to avoid her attention.
And well, Tally takes Abigail’s advice to heart. She tries to avoid her, but it seems everywhere she turns, General Alder is only a step behind with a warm smile and kind words to offer her.
Still, she does her best to offer little in response, keeps her head down and only accepts training a few times.
It’s a few weeks into this back-and-forth they have going on when General Alder calls her into her office. The hum of music rolls out from the gramophone she has situated to the side of the room.
She moves behind her desk and sits before gesturing for Tally to do the same in front of her.
Tally obliges her and tries to control the way her leg shakes uncontrollably in her nervousness. She was certain General Alder was going to reprimand her for something. Fear starts to grow in her at the idea of it impacting her unit.
“Ms Craven,” Sarah greets. “I expect you know why I’ve brought you here today.”
Tally bows her head. “I, whatever I’ve done, please don’t let it impact my unit.”
Tally hears shuffling before she feels a hand on her wrist and sees General Alder ducked down beside her in the same way she had been the first time she’d trained her with the scourge. “Have I done something wrong to you, Ms Craven?”
“You?” Tally questions with a frown. “How could you have done anything wrong to me, General?”
Sarah Alder matches her frown. “You’ve been avoiding me. Equally, you’ve been avoiding calling me by my name.”
Tally wets her lips. “I didn’t want to be inappropriate. I mean, you’re my General.”
“I am aware,” Sarah responds. “But, I find myself fond of you, Ms Craven.” She clears her throat. “Tally.”
Tally can’t help the way her eyes drift down to Sarah’s lips. Sarah, that was her name. The name that had entered her dreams without her consent. The name of the woman that was her superior officer, and yet, also the person who had expressed a fondness for her. “I’m not sure what to do in this situation.”
Sarah cautiously reaches up and cups Tally’s cheek. “What would you like to do, Tally?”
Tally wets her lips and curses her unfiltered brain. “Kiss you.”
The same warm laugh that Tally had grown to love slips past Sarah’s lips. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t be opposed.”
Tally’s laughter is more nervous. “So?”
Sarah shakes her head as a fond smile takes over her face. She answers Tally’s question by bridging the distance between them and meeting her lips with her own.
Tally sighs into the feeling and her hand slides behind Sarah’s neck, cupping it to bring her closer.
Sarah bumps against the side of Tally’s chair but pays it no mind. She only hums and without breaking the kiss, lowers her hands to Tally’s waist to pull her out of it.
Tally squeaks against her lips, but Sarah offers her no space to pull away. Instead, she only deepens their kiss with a cautious swipe of her tongue and a satisfied hum at Tally’s eagerness to respond.
They break away when the need for air becomes too much for them. Sarah’s hands remain steady on Tally’s waist. “I find myself incredibly fond of you, Tally.”
“You’re like, really, really hot,” Tally responds before a bright blush forms on her cheeks. “I mean, I like you too.”
Sarah laughs and cups Tally’s cheek to pull her in for a chaste kiss. “Stay with me. Here, and in the army.”
Tally can only smile before meeting Sarah’s lips again. “Okay.”