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It was early in an unseasonably warm afternoon, about a week before Emma's wedding. She was taking her daily walk around the grounds with Mr. Knightley - her father's usual afternoon nap meant she was not needed indoors.
Mr. Knightley looked down at Emma as they walked along. "Are you unwell today? You have hardly said anything and we have been walking nearly 10 minutes already."
"I do confess there is something troubling me."
"Come, please tell me so I may endeavour to ease your suffering."
"It's just... I don't really know how to say it -"
"My dearest Emma, we have promised each other honesty and friendship. You need not fear - I will listen to whatever you have to say."
She hesitated, choosing her words carefully, and then began.
"You know how you have been very... scrupulous... about our lack of... supervision. How my father's condition and your long friendship with our family means that you and I are often alone where most other couples would have a chaperone with them."
Mr. Knightley nodded. "Yes, I do not wish to take advantage of our situation and said I would do no more than hold your hand until after our marriage."
"It has not been easy." She stopped walking, and turned to face him. He did not let go of her hand.
"I confess my resolve is weakening by the day as I contemplate your beautiful countenance." He gazed into her eyes longingly, with a passion that he usually kept under guard. After a moment he cleared his throat and looked down at her hand in his. "But the wedding is only a week away. We have been strong so far - we will be able to remain so a few days longer."
"Yes, I agree, and your self-control makes me admire you all the more. There is just one problem."
"What is that?" he looked back to her eyes but she quickly averted hers.
"I do not wish our first kiss to be in front of Mr. and Mrs. Elton."
"I see. That is a problem."
"One I am sure you can solve, Mr. Knightley." she smiled.
"But I wish to understand. I know they are both... unpleasant... but you seem to be especially reluctant. What bothers you so? Surely we can ignore them at that moment."
"Whenever I see Mr. Elton, I cannot stop thinking of the horror and disgust I felt as he proposed marriage to me. And I also cannot bear the thought of Mrs. Elton being witness to the moment of our first kiss and most likely relaying every detail to the much-discussed Mrs. Suckling."
"Yes... yes, I see what you mean." he replied. "So..." he began awkwardly.
"Let us walk a little further from the house. I want to be sure we are truly alone and no one can see us." He followed her lead down a different path than they usually took, one that turned away from the house into a grove of trees.
"Another reason is I am really quite frightened. I have never kissed anyone before," she explained.
"Neither have I," he said. "So we shall both be feeling some apprehension, I dare say."
"Really?"
"No. I didn't know it at the time, but I compared all the ladies in my acquaintance to you, and invariably found them wanting in some respect."
"You flatter me, Mr. Knightley," he shook his head but she continued. "So let me say in return that you are too good to trifle with someone's affections if you did not have any serious intentions."
"That is so. I find that sort of conduct reprehensible; of which we have recent example of your affections being trifled with most abominably by Mr. Churchill. You may have forgiven him but I have not."
"Let us not speak of him. Here, I think we are secluded now. Let us stop here." They found themselves in a clearing, surrounded by trees in fall colours, with the house completely out of sight. Emma turned to face Mr. Knightley. He put his arms around her and began to lean towards her, then suddenly he stopped.
"Wait!" he nearly shouted.
"What is the matter?" she replied in some alarm.
"I cannot do this until... there must be no secrets between us or I shall not be at ease. I must be honest with you"
"What is it that you have to tell?"
"It was I who... well, myself and my brother John who... stole the Westons' turkeys."
Emma, who had been feared some more serious declaration stood in confusion. "Why would you do such a thing?"
"Well, it was in fact John's idea. He had been giving me a large quantity of unsolicited advice about... well... marital relations." Emma blushed scarlet, remembering a similar conversation she had recently had with Mrs. Weston. Mr. Knightley continued. "And considering how well satisfied your sister seems to be with married life, I thought it wise to at least listen to him. He was lamenting the fact that your father wished to delay the wedding indefinitely, for he wished me to know the... joys of marriage as soon as possible. He had thought of the idea of some sort of fright on your father's part as being the only thing that would hasten my settling at your house."
"John should be ashamed of such a thought!" she said, "And you, to turn to a life of crime in order to hasten our wedding" She tried to sound reproving but was quickly being overcome with laughter.
"I assure you, the fowl are all safe at Robert Martin's farm, and shall be returned to their original habitations as soon as the wedding is over!"
Both of them burst into laughter, and it was some time before either could speak. Mr. Knightley then recounted the considerable difficulties that he and John encountered while pilfering the turkeys without being discovered, although there were some close calls due to loud squawking from the birds.
After their laughter subsided, Emma said to him. "I love you, Mr. Knightley, and though I cannot condone deliberately causing my father such anxiety, I am glad of the result of being able to marry you so much sooner. I am glad you told me... but if I hear that you have been having turkey stew at Donwell Abbey..." They smiled at each other and he again started leaning down to kiss her. This time it was Emma who stopped him.
"Wait! You have shared your secret with me, but I have kept one from you, and it has been weighing on my conscience."
"What is it, my dearest Emma?"
"Well, I am not sure if you recall, but when you returned from John and Isabella's and first told me you loved me, I stopped you just before you were to say it, but I never told you why."
"Then tell me now, and let your mind be at ease."
"I was afraid... I was convinced you were about to tell me you were in love with Harriet Smith!"
"In truth? How could you suppose that?"
"She had persuaded herself that she was in love with you, no great surprise there, but she was convinced you loved her in return. You had shown such consideration for her at the dance after Mr. Elton made her feel foolish, and..."
"But Emma, I can understand Harriet mistaking my meaning in my actions but surely you knew me better than that."
"I did not even know myself until that moment. I was at one time both aware that you were the only man I could ever love, that indeed I was already so in love with you as to make me almost in despair that you might love someone else. So if I was so ignorant, even of my own feelings, how could I be certain of yours? Especially as this whole year has been filled with me completely misunderstanding the feelings of others. And I had noticed all the times you had gone out of your way to make Harriet feel better and in my state convinced myself you could be in love with her. I was in agony the whole time you were away."
Mr. Knightley embraced her. "I love you, and will always love only you. I am glad you have told me this. Do you feel better now?"
"Yes, much better." In fact she was delirious with happiness just feeling his arms around her. "Now, I have no more secrets - do you?"
"No, there is nothing else."
"Good, then I pray you will kiss me now."
"Of course, my dearest. Are you still afraid?."
"No, not any more, for it is you."
He leaned towards her for the third time and this time their lips met, ever so lightly touching at first, and then with confidence and growing passion. Emma felt like she was both flying and falling at the same time.
After some time they reluctantly resumed their walk back towards the house, slightly breathless and with hearts pounding.
Mr. Knightley cleared his throat. "Well, you were right. I'm certainly glad the Eltons didn't see that!" Emma looked up at him and just smiled.
