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“Bada nama la mublai geede.” Bob was a little dismayed as he watched Kevin and Dave spread out the parts of the gingerbread house. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but it wasn’t this.
They were crowded around a small table at the local mall, their ‘real world’ outfits on and doing their best to not attract attention. This was very hard when you were small, yellow and prone to… well, shall we say, accidents.
“Sola stikla ta towcep.” Kevin was the natural born leader of his band of Minions. He picked up the instructions, then turned it sideways and frowned.
Dave made a rude noise and flipped the sheet over to the English directions. He scanned them and shrugged his shoulders. “Nada.”
Bob wanted to cry. He’d so wanted to make something special for the girls, especially his Agnes. She was feeling a bit neglected since the baby had come along. Oh, she liked him well enough, it was just hard to not be the youngest anymore.
“Whaaat batooay pem batooay?”
“Pem nama minions. Pem improvise!”
It proved to be a bad choice. It was easy enough to get the walls up and then the roof. The royal icing set up pretty fast and glued everything together. No, it was when the bags of candy were opened that anarchy took over. It had developed to a slapfest between Kevin and Dave.
“Can I help?”
At the sound of a young girl’s voice, Kevin and Dave paused. Bob looked a little scared and clutched his teddy close to him.
“Ben nama to? a alb?”
“You talk funny.” The girl raised her hand and her eyes glowed eerily. Bob started to whimper.
“I’m scared.” He hugged his bear even harder.
“You’re always scared. You need to grow up,” Kevin muttered, then he stopped. “What the…”
Dave clamped a gloved hand over his mouth and tried to keep his wig from falling off with the other. “There are kids present… and Bob.”
He stopped then as well. He was speaking perfect English. But minions didn’t speak English.
“It’s okay. I did a spell, but it’s just a little one. Mom says that Santa doesn’t like it when I do magic in public. It’s just easier to understand you now.”
“Are you… are you a witch.”
She laughed. “Nope. I’m Diana.” She held out her hand.
“Hello, Diana. I’m Dave. These are my friends, Bob and Kevin.”
“Why are you dressed like a girl? And why is he dressed like a baby?” She pointed at Bob. He was glad he was wearing a diaper.
“We’re undercover,” Kevin said and then he stopped, amazed at the sound of his own voice. “This is really… weird.”
“Ooo, are you spies?”
Bob shook his head. “No, we are minions. We work for Gru. We’re trying to build a gingerbread house for our family, but...” Tears started to well up again. “Well, we’re not very good at it.”
Diana smiled. “I think you’re doing a great job. This isn’t about right or wrong. It’s about getting as much candy on the house as possible.” She squirted some frosting on the roof and started sticking Necco wafers to it, starting at the bottom. “If you do it this way, they overlap properly. Nick taught me that.”
Dave followed suit and nodded. “Are you… are you a minion, too?”
“Nope, just me. Mom and Nick are shopping in that store over there. I’m not supposed to know that they are buying me a bicycle for Christmas, but Kelly told me. He tells me everything.”
“Who’s Kelly?” She handed the tube of frosting to Kevin and took Bob to the front of the house. “If you put some frosting there, you can make a frame for your door.”
“My baby brother. He isn’t growing fast like me, but I still love him.” She handed Bob a candy cane and he stuck it in place, then repeated it. “Who’s in your family?”
“The Boss, then Miss Lucy and the baby. And the girls, Margo, Edith and Agnes. Agnes is my best friend in the whole world.”
“Aw, I wish I had a best friend.” Diana looked a little sad. “Mom says it’s not safe right now.”
“For you?”
“For the world, I guess.” She sighed and looked over at the store, then jumped a little when her hand was taken.
“I can be your best friend, too,” Bob said, quietly. “I’m not really a baby. I have a pet rat. His name is Poochie. He had babies last year.”
“Cool.” Hand in hand, they wandered away from the gingerbread house. Bob had no doubt his fellow Minions had the job well in hand. Right now, he had something more important to do. He had to be a friend.
Bada nama la mublai geede - There are so many pieces
Sola stikla ta towcep - Just follow the instructions
Whaaa batooay pem batooay What do we do
Pem nama minions. Pem improvise - We are minions. We improvise!
Ben nama to? a alb? - Who are you? A spy?