Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tyler wanted to be a Bluecoat. Badly. He had tried out the previous year and didn’t quite make it, he didn’t have any marching band experience but he was an amazing piano player. It was all about adjusting, but luckily that was something he’s good at. For a whole year, he practiced relentlessly, learning the style in which most larger corps play. He would record his own mock auditions, play in front of family, his church, his school, anyone who was willing to listen. Any kind of exposure to the performance side of it that he could get, he would take. 

It was thrilling, the feeling he got when he played. The genuine passion that he felt towards his instrument was one that not many can claim. He really enjoyed piano and would pray every night that this year was his year. He would make the Bluecoats. He’d become a Drum Corps International World Champion. Already being 18, he only had 3 more years before age-out, so if he didn’t make it now, he was convinced he never would. He had the first round of audition camps tomorrow. He tossed in bed, unable to sleep out of anxiousness. He was antsy, fearing that he would completely blow it. He grabbed his phone and pulled up youtube, going back to watch the 2015 Bluecoats for the umpteenth time. The show was entitled ‘Kinetic Noise’. 

The video opens and you hear the crowd screaming “BLOO!!” which, to an outsider, you might think they’re booing. But no, they’re “blooing”. Tyler was in awe of the way the marchers moved. He didn’t know much about marching, but it never failed to impress him. The traditional uniforms they wore made everything look so sleek and professional. The snare line catches his eye as they make their way across the field. Tyler notices one boy in particular. He seemed so much more.. into it than everyone else. Like he could feel the passion through the screen. His attention is then caught by the hornline, blaring beautifully in gorgeous harmonies. Tyler sighed, he could watch this all day. A few moments later, the band hands it over to the front ensemble, creating a seamless transition in the sound. He looked over at his keyboard and then back to his phone. That will be him. He’s sure of it. He kept watching, knowing each movement by heart at this point. This show was amazing, maybe even better than the previous season. Once the show had come to its anticipating close. It almost felt unfinished, but that was the point.

Tyler huffed and turned off his phone, hoping he could manage to fall asleep. He couldn’t go into the first round of auditions on no sleep. Eventually, he fell into a deep slumber for a few hours. He dreamed of walking onto the field at Lucas Oil Stadium. The crowd roared as the band took the field, the announcer's voice echoing through the stadium. This dream he knew would become a reality. He just had to give it his all. 

That morning, he woke up and practically jumped out of bed. He was smart and packed his backpack the night before, it was filled with his audition packet, some warm-up sheets, water, and a few smaller personal items. He dressed according to the early December weather and headed outside, hopping in the car to make the 2 hour drive from Columbus to Canton.

When Tyler made it to the school's address listed on the audition packet, he found a parking spot and sat there for a moment. He watched the groups of people about his age that flooded into the school's doors. He took a deep breath and got out, joining the herd. Inside, there were tables set up, each section having a corresponding table. He looked around, finding the one with the “percussion” label on it. He stood in line anxiously for about 20 minutes, airplaying his warm-ups against his leg. Finally, it was his turn, he stepped up and signed his name and the nice lady behind the table handed him a paper to fill out. He took the paper and found an open spot against the wall to post up while he filled out his information. Once he was done, Tyler handed the paper back to the woman and was pointed in the direction of the other percussion auditionees.  

He found a place to sit, he didn't want to seem unwelcoming or scared. But in all honesty, he was about to shit his pants in fear. There was another elongated wait before the doors were shut on the percussion room and the auditions began. When the instructors for the day started to introduce themselves, Tyler recognized one in particular. He looked a lot like the snare player that always caught his eye in recordings from the past two seasons.

"Hi everyone, I'm Josh Dun. Center snare. It's my 3rd season and I'm excited to work with you all today." Tyler committed his name to memory, his eyes scanning over the man. He snapped back to reality when the main instructor began to give directions. Tyler was placed at one of the 3 open synths and tried to keep his focus on the task at hand. He did his stretches and quickly ran through his warm-ups, silently praying that this would go well.

Chapter Text

Tyler obsessively checked his email. Opening the app at least 5 times an hour, refreshing it 3 times and then closing the app to repeat the process 10 minutes later. It was January, so it had been a month since the audition and Tyler couldn’t wait any longer. His body was thrumming from anxiety, like he was on edge constantly as he waited for his callback.

For the 50th time today, Tyler checked his email. Shocker. It was the same that it’s been every time he’s looked for the past month. Nothing. He threw his phone on his bed and sat down at his keyboard. Waiting around and sulking wasn’t going to make an email come quicker. He ran through a quick warm-up, deciding to play The Hymn of Acxiom by Vienna Teng. The Bluecoats used it as their ballad in 2014 and it instantly became one of Tyler’s favorite pieces he’s ever heard be performed. The raw emotion that the song carries is something otherworldly.

He channeled all of his emotions into the keys and played as if the piano was an extension of himself. The dynamics came easily as Tyler pushed out any and all of his anxieties, projecting them all into the music. He closed his eyes, letting the keys speak back to him as he played. It was a state of pure bliss that only a musician could understand, there truly was no feeling like it.

Tyler sighed, standing up and going to grab his phone. He opened his email without even thinking.

You’re In!

“WHAT.” Tyler shouts, his eyes are wide as he opens the email. His hands start to shake as he reads through the letter attached.

"Congratulations, Tyler Joseph!

You’ve been accepted as a member of our 2016 Bluecoats! You will be contacted with dates and times for weekend camps soon, keep an eye out!

Welcome to the Bloo family,

The Bluecoats."

Tyler’s mom knocks on the door, “Tyler? Honey? Are you okay?”

“Yeah… yeah, mom. I’m great.” He says as he opens the door, handing her the phone, his hands still shaking. Tyler smiles at his mother, tears well in his eyes as her face lights up.

“Oh, I'm so proud of you, baby!” She wraps him into a tight hug, a few tears escape Tyler's eyes but the smile on his face was unbeatable.

February rolled around quickly, Tyler found himself driving to Canton again. A drive that would soon become all too familiar.

This time, Tyler felt so much more at home. The fear that he felt the last time was gone.

All the percussionists were gathered in a room, the drumline and front ensemble members all getting to know each other. Friendships were already beginning to form. It all felt so… right. This was where Tyler was meant to be. The door opened and a guy walked in, Tyler recognized him from the audition. Josh. Tyler focused on him, assuming he was the one in charge of their rehearsal.

“Alright guys, if you don’t remember me, I’m Josh Dun. Center snare and also percussion captain this season. We’re gonna get started and do a little bit of full ensemble before we break off into sections. You should know what you’re playing but if you don’t, I'm here to help.” Josh explains, once he was done talking, everyone scattered to their designated instruments.

Tyler found his way to his synthesizer. It was already set up for him, thankfully. He looked over the setup, the keys moved smoothly and the computer was already booted up. He stared at the screen in confusion. The computer program used to run the sounds was something he wasn’t very familiar with.

Josh walked over, noticing the confusion on Tyler’s face. “Hey man, having problems?”

“Oh, no. Not yet, at least. I’m not used to… whatever this is.” Tyler looks up from the screen.

“A synth player not familiar with MainStage? That’s new.” Josh laughs.

“I was never in marching band.” Tyler shrugs, he didn't realize how embarrassing that would feel to admit.

“Huh… well, once all this settles down,” Josh gestures around the still hectic room of percussionists. “I wanna know more about how you ended up here. What’s your name?”

“I’m Tyler.” He answers from behind his keyboard. “And you’re Josh, right?’

“That’s me.” Josh beams. “It’s nice to meet you, Rookie.”

Chapter Text

The first day of the weekend camp was going quick, lunchtime came around and Tyler was sitting on the floor behind his synth cart. He scrolled through his phone, just trying to drown out the 20-something others in the room. He didn’t know such a small gathering of people could make so much noise, but it made sense. They’re all percussionists. There was a lot of indistinct chatter, occasional shouts and the constant sound of drumsticks beating on practice pads. Tyler cursed himself for not bringing headphones. He sighed, his eyes scanning around the room. He desperately wished he was better at talking to people or that someone would come up and talk to him.

Josh was doing his rounds, checking on each group. It was part of his role as captain to make sure everyone felt comfortable. There weren't many people sitting by themselves, which made him happy. This was already a tight knit group. Of the ones who hadn’t grouped up, one caught his eye.

“Hey, Tyler?”

Tyler was snapped back into reality and looked up. “Oh, hey man.”

“You know you can sit at a table, right?” Josh asked with a teasing smile.

“Yeah,” Tyler laughs. “I just thought I’d sit back here for today.”

“I haven’t really seen you talk with anyone else. Not a super social guy?” Josh asked.

“Well… I mean. I can be. Just not feeling it right now, I guess.” Tyler explains, shrugging.

“Ah, don’t worry, I get it.” Josh stood there, looking down at Tyler. “Uh… well, do you mind if I sit with you? I think you have a story to tell me.”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Tyler moved over some, making room for Josh to sit with him behind the cart.

Josh sat down, the cart wasn’t very long so their legs pressed together. “Alright, you weren’t in marching band. That’s all I know.”

Tyler cleared his throat, his eyes focusing anywhere but where their legs met. “Yeah, so… My school didn’t have a marching band. I always loved watching Ohio State’s band on YouTube, which led some Drum Corps videos to start popping up in my recommended.”

“Man, what an insane coincidence.” Josh shifted to look at Tyler.

“Yeah, if that never happened, I wouldn’t be here.” Tyler smiled.

“Well, I’m glad it did happen… so, have you always played piano?” Josh asked.

“I’ve only really been playing for a few years at this point. I’m just pretty good, I guess.” Tyler shrugged, laughing softly.

“Only pretty good? Dude, there’s only 2 synth spots and you managed to bag one. I already know you’re amazing and I haven’t even heard you play yet.”

“…wanna hear me play?” Tyler asks, trying to keep himself from sounding shy.

“That’s a stupid question. Obviously.” Josh watches as Tyler stands up before following suit.

Tyler turns down the volume on his amp, not wanting to disrupt any of the conversations going on around the room and he starts to play.

“Hymn of Acxiom?” Josh asks as a smile grows on his face, immediately recognizing the piece.

Tyler nods, his fingers gliding across the keys. It was impressive. Josh reached around Tyler and turned the volume up on the amp. Tyler looked up from the keys for just long enough to shoot Josh an annoyed glare.

“Hey! I just wanna hear it better.” He backed up, smiling as he watched Tyler get back into focus.

“Hmph.” Tyler hums. He was hyper focused on the keyboard. He normally wasn’t nervous when he played for people… but, for some odd reason, Josh’s presence made him feel like he had to be perfect. Like he needed to impress him.

Josh somehow managed to keep his jaw off the floor. He had never seen someone play like that. It was… beautiful. Josh had never really played piano, he stuck to snare but he could read a keyboard. Mallets weren’t that difficult for him, but piano was one he’d never really looked into. It was amazing to see someone like Tyler play, it was like his second nature. Josh could tell that Tyler loved playing piano. It was obviously in his body language, in the way his fingers danced across the keys.

Tyler finished the piece with some dramatics and stepped back from the keyboard.

“Holy shit?” Josh laughed.

“…what?” Tyler asked, he felt insecure. Why? He had no clue.

“That was amazing, dude! I’ve never seen someone play like that. And you’re playing on a synthesizer, I can’t imagine what that would sound like on an actual piano.” Josh explained, he clapped his hand onto Tyler’s shoulder with a smile.

“Oh.. oh! Thanks.” Tyler beamed, was he really that good? He never thought so. But maybe he was.

Josh checked his watch. “Hey, I’d kill to hear more but lunch is almost over. I’m gonna go circle around for the last couple minutes, alright?”

Tyler smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

Lunch ended and everyone got back to practicing. The rest of the day went quickly. Tyler was turning off all of his electronics and packing up his backpack, he slung his bag over his shoulder and started to walk out, he saw Josh getting into his car. Josh looked up, noticing him and waved. Tyler smiled, waving back.

On his way home, Tyler couldn’t help but wonder why he felt so strongly about needing to impress Josh while he was playing. He shrugged it off, at least he made a friend.

Chapter Text

The few weekend camps flew by. It was the same routine each Saturday. Wake up. Drive to Canton. Get through morning block. Smile at Josh during lunch. Get through afternoon block. Pack up. Wave at Josh. Drive back to Columbus. Tyler was more than ready for spring training.

The night before move-in, he packed a suitcase and a backpack. Tyler wasn’t quite sure what to bring… 5 weeks away from home was a lot.

He got to his room after a slightly confusing set of directions from one of the band moms helping. He noticed that there was already a suitcase on one of the beds, so he claimed the empty one and began to unpack.

After about 30 minutes of refolding his clothes and putting them in the bottom drawers of the dresser, Tyler heard the door open.

“Tyler?”

He whipped his head up at the sound of his name.

“Oh my god! Hey, Josh!” Tyler hopped up from his spot on the ground and smiled at the familiar face.

“Dude, I’m so glad I got roomed with you.” Josh laughed as he sat on the edge of his bed.

“You’re glad?! I’m glad, man! I was so afraid I’d be with some rando that I didn’t know.” Tyler sat on the side of his bed, facing Josh.

“Yeahhh… I understand. My rookie year, I got paired with some age-out trumpet player. Never again. Worst roommate I’ve ever had.” The older said as he laid back on his bed.

Tyler’s eyes caught at where Josh’s shirt had ridden up, exposing his midriff. He quickly averted his eyes and shoved down the weird feeling in his stomach. That’s something to unpack later.

“Uh… yeah, yeah. That sounds awful.” Tyler shifted on his bed, keeping his eyes away from Josh.

“It sucked. He was our screamer and thought using a mute would actually mute the trumpet. God, it’s a surprise that I lived through that.” He laughed, turning his head to look over at Tyler.

Tyler laughed, it was strained, but a laugh nonetheless. He hoped Josh hadn’t noticed. “Man, that’s an accomplishment.”

“Proud survivor of the world’s most unfortunate room pairing.” Josh scanned his eyes over Tyler before looking back up at the ceiling.

The conversation died and Tyler laid back, his eyes tracing the popcorn paint on the ceiling. He reluctantly grabbed his phone and pretended to care about the apps he was scrolling through for a while.

Tyler got bored of social media, dropping his phone beside him, he brought his eyes back to the ceiling. His thoughts drifted back that moment earlier. All he could think about was Josh’s shirt riding up as he leaned back… Tyler tried to push his thoughts off. Again. He sighed and turned on his side. His efforts to ignore his thoughts were futile when his eyes landed on Josh. It was nothing astonishing, but something about it was so captivating to him.

Josh was on his side and Tyler thanked God that he was facing away from him. He trailed his eyes across the other man’s back. He noted how Josh’s shirt strained, highlighting his shoulder blades. It was like the shirt was too small, but you’d only notice if you were staring. Like Tyler was. His short sleeves were tight around his biceps, showing off the years of drumming. Tyler was practically drooling over this guy.

He caught himself, clearing his throat and rolling over to face away from Josh. He drug his hand down his face, what the hell was he thinking?

Not even a minute later, “Hey, Tyler?”

“Hm?” he hums, still facing the wall. He can’t look at Josh right now. His mind was yelling, what if he somehow could read minds and knew every single thing Tyler had been thinking?

“Dinner starts in 10 minutes. Wanna head to the dining hall with me?” Josh asks.

Tyler released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “I’m… not super hungry. I think I’ll stay here. You can go, though.”

Josh stood up from his bed and Tyler looked over his shoulder at him, offering a small smile.

“Alright, man. But hey, can I put my number in your phone?” Josh starts, walking over towards him. “Just in case you need anything.”

“Yeah. Go ahead.” Tyler opened his contacts app and handed his phone over to Josh, watching as he entered his number before handing the phone back.

“There you go. Don’t be shy, text me whenever.” Josh smiled, then made his way out of the room.

Tyler stretched out, flat on his back and stared at the ceiling, thinking about… Josh. Again.

He reached over and grabbed his earbuds. He opened his phone and shuffled his music. A distraction that absolutely did not help.

As Josh walked to the dining hall, he couldn’t shake the feeling he’d had. That there had been eyes on him. Was he being paranoid? Or was Tyler staring at him? He racked his brain, which kept bringing him to the latter.

He was snapped out of his mind as he reached the dining hall, the loud chatter of a hundred band kids silencing any other thoughts before they even tried to form.

“Yo! Dun! Get over here!” A voice called from his left, he looked over. Most of the drumline had claimed their table, Josh sighed and put on his best mask of a smile.

He stuck around after dinner for a while, hanging out with some of the older percussionists. It was nice, getting to spend some time with them before the stress of putting the show on began. Once they got done, Josh headed back to his room and upon opening the door, he scanned the room. He smiled as he realized that he had returned to an already passed out Tyler.

Josh quietly got ready for bed, setting an alarm for the two of them. The 7am wake-up call was always brutal for the first couple days. He slipped into bed and his eyes landed on the outline of Tyler’s frame. His chest rising and falling as he slept. There was something about him that Josh couldn’t quite place. Yet.

Chapter Text

Tyler didn’t remember falling asleep but before he knew it, there was an alarm blaring in his ear and the sun was shining through the curtains. 

He turned over, Josh’s bright yellow hair was almost blinding. Tyler rubbed his eyes and groaned as he sat up. 

“Morning.” Josh croaked as he slapped his hand on his phone, silencing the alarm. 

“G’morning.” Tyler swung his legs over the side of his bed, immediately noticing Josh’s shirtless body. He quickly averted his eyes and mumbled, “What time did you get back?”

Josh sat up and ran his hand through his bed-messy hair. “Uh.. it wasn’t super late. Around 9, I think? You were already out cold, man.”

“I don’t remember falling asleep.” Tyler murmured as he stood up, walking over to the dresser. 

Josh got up and dug through his suitcase. “They’ve got like… granola bars and stuff for breakfast. Wanna go down with me?” He asks as he throws a shirt on.

“Yeah. I’ll go.” Tyler replied as he picked out his clothes before going to change.

The two went down to the dining hall together, they grabbed a couple of the breakfast items they had out for the band members and Josh went towards the table with some of the drumline. Tyler followed like a lost puppy, hesitant to sit down.

“What are you doing, dude? C’mon, sit.” Josh said as he noticed his hesitation. 

Tyler laughed anxiously and slid into the seat beside Josh’s. He opened his granola bar and ate in silence as he listened to the conversations around him. Josh was talking to one of the other snare players, Tyler remembered that her name was Lily. It was something about changing the drumheads before music rehearsals started. After a brief talk from their director about plans for the day, everyone got up and started to break off into their designated sections. 

“See you at lunch?” Josh asks as he and Tyler get up from the table.

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.” Tyler replies, smiling as they part ways.

The front ensemble’s first order of business was unloading their equipment trailer. The rest of the band was on the field, focusing on their marching in a fundamentals block. 

Tyler stood awkwardly to the side, not knowing what to do. He didn’t want to accidentally break something. All he knew how to handle was his own cart. So, he stood there and waited for when he was needed. 

Eventually, they got everything inside. Tyler set up all of his equipment, booting up his computer and plugging in his amp. 

Today was the day he actually had to learn how to use Mainstage. He opened the program and was instantly confused. It took him 10 minutes just to figure out how to choose the right keyboard setting. 

It took Tyler about 2 hours and at least 10 youtube tutorials but eventually, he finally started to get a hang of it. Working through different sound patches and looking for specific ones, per request of the director. Once he found what he needed, his next task was to learn how to program the keys to switch patches with the press of a key, rather than having to change them manually. This took him another hour.

By the time Tyler got done with what he needed to do, the band was coming in for lunch, and the front ensemble knew it because they had just gone on break. Tyler learned very quickly that, by some kind of divine intervention, the band would only come inside when the pit stopped practicing. 

a concerningly sweaty flood of band kids rushed into the dining hall, Tyler and the rest of the pit emerged from their practice room and joined them.

Tyler got his food and scanned the room, weighing his options for seating until his eyes landed on Josh. He was already looking at him, waving him over. So, he went over and claimed his spot beside Josh, just like they had sat at breakfast.

Tyler picked at his food. Having a couple hundred people in the echo chamber of a dining hall was like Tyler’s personal hell. He zoned out, blocking out the sounds with his own thoughts. It was like a constant humming even when he wasn’t actively listening to it. The chatter of so many people, the drum pads that slightly shook the table, the distant sounds of various instruments. It was a lot, but unfortunately, there’s nothing he could do but get used to it.

“Yeah, what do you think, Tyler?” Josh asked, pulling him out of his spiral of thoughts.

“Huh? About what?” He asked, looking over at Josh.

“The opener music. Pit got theirs too, right?” Josh replies, a questioning look on his face.

“Oh, yeah. We got ours. I haven’t really looked at mine much. I like it, though.” Tyler answers. 

Josh nods before going back to his conversation with the drumline member across from him. Tyler still struggled to remember all of their names. Nate? Maybe? That felt right, but Tyler didn’t bother to ask. 

The next two days had similar schedules. Josh and Tyler had accidentally created a sort of routine. Josh would set them an alarm for each morning. They’d walk to the dining hall together. They’d sit together at mealtimes. They found themselves growing closer, Tyler began to look forward to seeing Josh any chance he could get.

On Thursday, evening block started with a short full band music rehearsal, it gave the front ensemble an opportunity to piece their parts together with the band’s for the first time. 

Josh couldn’t take his eyes off of the boy up front. He still didn’t know Tyler super well, but all he knew was that he wanted him in any way possible. It didn’t have to be romantic, he was just drawn to him. The guy had a gravitational pull and Josh was starting to come crashing towards him. He yearned to be closer with him, both emotionally and physically. it was a kind of yearning he hadn’t felt in years, one that was hard to come by and also very difficult to explain.

“Dude, what about him is appealing to you? he’s like a pathetic little puppy dog.” One of the rookies on the line teases, noticing Josh’s eyes are glued to the synth player.

”Drum down. That’s a lap.” Josh says, not looking away from Tyler. He was mad that he got ripped out of his thoughts.

The other man laughed. “I’m not joking, Gonzalez. Drum down. Run.” Josh says firmly as he watches him take his drum off.

“Don’t half-ass it. I said run!” Josh calls as the boy picks up his pace. 

He watched, making sure the rookie finished his lap before bringing his eyes back to Tyler.

On the front sideline, Tyler had his head down. His full attention on his keyboard. There was one run in his music that he wasn’t quite able to perfect yet and it was killing him. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was obviously chewing his cheek in concentration. 

Josh thought it was cute, the pure focus on his face. The director shouted something about running the opener with drill since they had rehearsed the music, Tyler popped his head up as he spoke. Josh’s eyes lingered on him for a moment more before he snapped into performance mode, heading to his dot. 

That night, Tyler had wheeled his cart back to its home in the front ensemble's practice room. He started towards his dorm, exhausted from the day but he felt lighter when he remembered that he and Josh would have some time to talk before lights out. 

Tyler unlocked the door and stepped in, Josh was laying in bed, flat on his back, his hands covering his face. 

“Hey, Ty.” Josh didn’t even bother to look, he knew who it was.

“Hey.” Tyler kicked off his shoes and immediately collapsed into bed. “How was your last run?” 

“I think it was my worst of the day, honestly.” Josh groaned. “The clapping should not be that difficult, but I just keep fucking it up.” 

“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t notice any mess-ups.” Tyler looked over at Josh, wishing he had the words to encourage him, to lighten his mood. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Josh mumbled, turning on his side to face him. “How was yours?”

“Good. First full run with the band, so it wasn’t perfect.” Tyler rolled on his side, so he and Josh were facing one another. 

Josh went quiet, silently surveying Tyler’s face. His eyes scan over the other boy’s features. He noted his nose, how it dipped and would fit perfectly with his own. Like two puzzle pieces. And the way his tired eyes looked back at him. His hair that usually was perfectly fallen, had a single strand laying on his forehead. 

“What?” Tyler asked, bringing his hand up to his cheek. “Is there something on my face?”

“No, no. You’re just… you’re really pretty. That’s all.” Josh mumbles before flipping off the light that sat between their beds and rolling over. “Goodnight, Tyler.”

“Goodnight, Josh.” Tyler whispered back. There was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he had never felt before, as if he had just been punched in the gut. Except, it felt good. 

His eyes stayed on Josh’s frame for a while. Eventually, he gave up on dissecting Josh’s words. He rolled over to face away from him, settling under his blanket and sighing himself to sleep. 

Chapter Text

Tyler woke up on Saturday morning, his eyes adjusting to the bright early June sun. He felt a pang of disappointment rush through him as he turned over, realizing that his yellow-haired roommate was nowhere to be seen. Tyler thought back to Thursday night as he pushed his blankets off and stood up. He carelessly dug through his drawer, tossing out a shirt and shorts. 

He hadn’t had time to think about the interaction, let alone, dissect it. So, as he got dressed, that’s exactly what he did.

Josh was just being nice, Tyler was sure of it. But how often do you hear a man call another man “pretty”? And Tyler… liked it? He’d never been complimented like that before.

He assumed Josh had gone down for breakfast, but part of him wished he would’ve woken him up. Instead of going to get food, Tyler grabbed his headphones and sat down at the desk in the room, opting to confide in his journal.

Josh wanted to skip breakfast, but he knew he didn’t want to be in the room when Tyler woke up. So, he grabbed his practice pad and found an empty room, far away from all the morning commotion.

He didn’t know what came over him to say that to Tyler. Sure, he meant it. Tyler is very pretty. But why in the hell would he say it out loud? He tossed his pad down on a desk and sighed, his sticks clacked against one another as they rolled on the table.

Josh picked up his sticks, feeling them fit comfortably in his hands. It was a good familiar, a grounding feeling; something he could control. He started to drum, feeling the sticks bounce off the pad. It was satisfying, to have an outlet where you could just beat the shit out of something. Within reason. 

Josh closed his eyes, just beating out rhythms. He’s pretty sure he started playing an old cadence he learned in high school, but it didn’t matter. He just wanted to be playing. 

He started to think about Tyler. The small things. The way he had the same routine every morning. When he would chew his cheek while concentrating. His frame outlined in moonlight that would shine through their window. Everything about him.

Josh was pulled out of his thoughts at the sound of a sharp snap. “Shit!” He yelled, looking down at his sticks that were now badly splintered, broken from hitting the pad too hard. 

Josh shoved his broken sticks into his back pocket, grabbed his pad, and stalked his way to the percussion room. He dug through his drum case, where he usually stored his extra pair of good sticks. 

They weren’t there. Which pissed him off beyond belief. This really wasn’t Josh’s day, which was unfortunate because normally, weekends during camp were the best there is.

Josh fumbled with his key as he opened the door, every little thing just adding to his frustration. He slammed the door shut and threw his stuff into the armchair in the corner. 

“Josh?” Tyler peered out of the bathroom at the abrupt slam of the door. 

“Yeah, hey.” He mumbled as he frantically dug through his backpack. 

“Is everything okay?” Tyler walked into the room, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Josh with concern. 

“I broke a pair of sticks. And I can’t find my backups.” He shoved his backpack away. “Fucking rookies.”

“Do you think someone took them?” Tyler sat on the edge of Josh’s bed.

“I know they did. Those asshats, they think it’s funny.” Josh laid back on his bed, pulling his hand down his face as he groaned. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s stupid.” Tyler mumbled, looking down at him. “Are you gonna make them give them back?” 

“Absolutely, and if they don’t, I’ll just make them run laps until they do.” Josh said as he stretched out his arms. He winced and mumbled a swear as a sharp pain jolted up his forearm. 

“Are you okay?” Tyler asked, concerned.

“I was practicing and got lost in thought, I guess. I’d been doing so well with not overworking my muscles and now I’m shot. My wrist is killing me and my forearms hurt. It fucking sucks. Everything is just… pissing me off now.” Josh rambles, one hand lying on his face.

Tyler bit his bottom lip, trying to think of something to say. Softly, he spoke, “I… I could massage your arms. Maybe that would help.”

Josh looked over at him, furrowing his eyebrows. “You’d do that?”

“Yeah. Of course. I’m pretty good at it. I have to massage my wrists all the time after playing.” Tyler smiles softly, scooting back on the bed and gently taking one of Josh’s arms, laying it in his lap. 

“You don’t have to, Tyler. Serious-“ Josh immediately fell silent as he felt the relief in his wrist. He closed his eyes, sighing.

Tyler laughed. “I don’t have to?”

“Shit- no, you do. Keep going.” Josh mumbled. He wasn’t sure if it actually felt that nice or because Tyler was the one doing it. 

Tyler watched Josh’s face, seeing his features relax as he worked his hand to Josh’s forearm.

Josh groaned softly, he could feel the muscles unknotting as Tyler’s soft fingers kneaded at his skin. 

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, Tyler’s hands diligently working at Josh’s forearms. Tyler desperately wanted to ask Josh about what he had said to him, but he was scared. Maybe it was something that’s better kept in their memories. 

Josh slowly opened his eyes, looking up at Tyler. He immediately noticed the focus on his face, a look he’d become all too familiar with.

“What’re you thinking about?” Josh asks, propping himself up on his elbow.

“Oh. Uh, nothing.” Tyler murmured, keeping his eyes on his work.

“Your face says otherwise. I know that look. You do it when you’re practicing too.” Josh points out.

Tyler stops, looking at Josh. His brain short circuits. He would’ve had to have his eyes on him fairly often to realize something so small. Tyler clears his throat, laying Josh’s arm down. 

“What is it, Ty?” Josh sits up fully, facing him.

Ty. Ty. He’d called him that before, but this time it felt so different. 

“I… You- Uh. You think I’m pretty?” Tyler stammers out, his hands fidgeting in his lap. 

“Listen, when I said that, I wasn’t really thinking. I was exhausted. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable or anything.” Josh explains, his eyes darting down to Tyler’s hands, he wishes he could take them in his own.

“Did you mean it?” Tyler asked, whispered. There was a pause, an uncomfortable air between the two.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did.” Josh replied, hesitantly brushing his knuckles against Tyler’s knee.

Tyler shifted, running a hand through his hair before standing up. “I… uh, I was supposed to go meet up with Eliza. I’m gonna go.”

Josh watched as Tyler got up and grabbed his things. “See you at dinner?”

Tyler mumbled something that sounded like an agreement as he stepped out of the door.

As Tyler left, Josh felt a sense of emptiness. An overwhelming feeling of regret, what if he royally screwed up his and Tyler’s friendship? He sat there and looked down at his arm, where Tyler’s hands had previously been. Josh ran his fingers over his skin, desperately wishing Tyler was still here. 

Tyler wandered into one of the bathrooms close to the practice rooms, he stood in front of the mirror and stared at himself until his face began to distort. 

Why did he feel so different when he looked at Josh? Why did hearing Josh call him pretty affect him? Why did it feel wrong but more right than anything he’d ever felt before? Tyler had never been more conflicted, he truly didn’t know what he was feeling.

He splashed water on his face before checking the time. “Shit.” Tyler mumbled, he was late.

He rushed to the pit’s practice room where he had agreed to meet with Eliza, the other synth player. 

He swung the door open and found her and a friend sitting on the stools in the back. 

“Hey, Tyler!” Eliza turned to face him, smiling before her face fell slightly. “Are you… okay? You look a little disheveled.”

“Yeah, hey. Sorry, I’m late. Got distracted.” He murmured, going over to stand behind his synth cart. He stared at the black screen on the monitor before turning to face the two. “I have a hypothetical question. But first, who’s this?” Tyler asks, pointing to Eliza’s red-haired friend. 

“I’m Freya.” She smiled, giving Tyler a small wave.

“Okay, what’s this hypothetical?” Eliza asks, immediately interested.

Tyler pulls a stool up for himself and sits down with them. “What would you do if, hypothetically, you’re a guy and you get roomed with this other guy? And hypothetically, this guy tells you that you’re pretty and it makes your stomach feel like it’s just been shaken like some kind of fucked up snowglobe?” 

“Um, well, in this totally hypothetical situation, I'd probably have a gay crisis and then date the guy." Freya says, shrugging.

“Gay crisis?” Tyler’s jaw drops slightly.

“Tyler, you poor thing.” Eliza tilts her head with a kind of knowing smile before looking over at Freya then back to him.

“What? Stop looking at me like that.” Tyler throws his hands up in defense.

"Wait— Hold on, Who is it?" Freya asks, the sudden question taking Tyler aback, but he knew he should’ve expected it.

“You’re roomed with Dun, right?” Eliza says.

“Dun? Like, Josh Dun? Center snare Josh Dun?” Diana looks at Eliza, then to Tyler. 

Tyler’s face was red hot and he felt like curling into the fetal position and rocking himself into oblivion. “Yeah.”

Diana’s face dropped. “Seriously? Josh Dun? Oh my god… wait. I see it. You two would be cute together.”

“I’m not… I don’t like guys like that.” Tyler mumbled, running a hand down his face.

“Tyler, bud, you just said that your stomach felt like a “fucked up snowglobe” after he called you pretty. Think about that.” Eliza said, her voice was almost teasing. “Hey, we were gonna get some practice in but I think you have more important things to deal with. Go find Josh, try to flirt with him.” She encouragingly pats Tyler’s knee, swatting him away. 

Tyler stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not going to flirt with him. But I will go deal with my more important things.”

They said their goodbyes and Tyler was pretty sure he heard Freya yell something along the lines of “Good luck, gay boy!” as he shut the door.

Tyler wandered for a bit, but before he knew it, he found himself heading to the dining hall for dinner. Part of him was dreading it, but as he entered the cafeteria and spotted Josh, that dread was gone. 

As he claimed his usual seat, Tyler was relieved that he’d get to observe Josh in his conversations. Just like normal. Tyler absentmindedly picked at his food and Josh talked to the members of the drumline about things that Tyler had no particular interest in, but he loved to listen. Just because it was Josh, he guessed. 

That night, the two sat in their room, a silence had fallen over the room. It wasn’t a negative one and Tyler was glad that it felt so regular. He was sitting at the desk, scribbling away at this journal while Josh sat in his bed on his phone. 

He thought about Eliza teasing him. Should he try to flirt? God, he barely knew how to flirt with girls. How was he supposed to flirt with a guy? Fuck it. He closed his notebook, taking a deep breath before turning around. 

“Hey, Josh?” His voice 

“Yeah, what’s up?” Josh looks up, setting his phone aside.

“I’m bored. Do you… uh. Do you wanna watch a movie? Or something?” Tyler asks, just spitting out the first thing he could think of.

“Yeah, sure. I have my laptop, we could watch one on that?” Josh suggests, reaching for his backpack. 

“That’d be great. Um.” Tyler stands up from the desk chair, stepping over to Josh’s bed. “Can I sit…?”

“How else would we watch the movie? Get over here.” Josh says with a smile, scooting over in his bed to make room for Tyler.

They decide on a movie, Josh was shocked to find out that Tyler had never seen Drumline , so that’s what they ended up on. 

About an hour into the movie and about an hour into Tyler’s hands being uncharacteristically sweaty, he gently laid his head on Josh’s shoulder. He was overly aware of every place they were touching. His heart beat rapidly, it felt like it could burst out of his chest at any moment. He closed his eyes and let his pretend sleep drift into actual unconsciousness.

Josh stayed still, he knew when Tyler actually fell asleep when he felt the tension in the air dissipate. He turned his head slightly, just enough to see Tyler’s face. The features he’s already traced over in his mind a million times. They were so close, that he could trace them with his finger rather than his eyes if he dared to. 

Eventually, Josh rested his head against Tyler’s, letting sleep take him too. 

Chapter Text

Tyler woke up first. For a moment, he didn’t remember how he’d gotten into this position, but then it all came back to him. His heartbeat immediately picked up as he quickly realized that he was trapped, Josh’s arm wrapped around him.

Overnight, they had somehow maneuvered to how they were now, Josh resting flat on his back on the bed with Tyler basically clinging to him. What the fuck.

He was slightly panicked as the drowsiness of sleep wore off. Shit. Was he supposed to wait for Josh to wake up? Or try to slip out and hope he didn’t wake him? 

After a few minutes of internal panic and debate, Tyler tried to shift out of Josh’s hold. Unfortunately for Tyler, Josh stirred and made a soft hum of retaliation. 

“…Ty?” His voice was thick with sleep as he lifted his head up.

Tyler froze. “Hey.” 

“D’you sleep?” Josh mumbled.

“Um- Yeah,. I guess we, uh , decided to get comfy.” Tyler said as he shifted away, turning his back to Josh and swinging his legs off the bed.

“Oh. Sorry.” Josh murmurs as he runs his hand through his hair.

“It’s okay, it was my fault. I fell asleep first.” Tyler said as he looked back at Josh.

There was a moment where they both looked at each other. The air still lingered with sleep, two tired bodies, two pairs of exhausted eyes. Both of them just stared at one another as if to drink in the other’s features. There was something more in there, but neither were sure of what it was. A tension washed over the two, one that made Tyler want to squirm. He stood up.

“I’m gonna… go get breakfast.” Tyler mumbles, sliding his shoes on and grabbing his room key. Josh could only nod in response as he watched him leave.

Once he was left alone, Josh crumpled back into bed. He curled up in the spot Tyler had slept in, where his scent lingered. Tracing patterns into the mattress where Tyler was lying only moments ago.

Josh took a deep breath, exhaling a sigh. He felt a hole in his chest. Internally, he was torn, his head feeling like a huge jumbled mess of too-big feelings. There was a part of him that wanted to believe that Tyler was simply just being friendly, that this was normal for him. Just Tyler being Tyler and to him, this was all just “bro things.”

But then, there’s the other side of it. The part of him that fully believes that the feelings are mutual; that Tyler wants Josh just as bad Josh as wants Tyler. 

It was killing him. The uncertainty of it all. The desperate yearning he was feeling.

Josh didn’t even bother to drag himself out of bed. It was warm and it smelt like Tyler. He pulled a blanket over him and fell back asleep. 

An hour later, Josh was jolted awake by a pounding on the door. He groaned and pulled himself out of bed.

“Who is it?” Josh called as he made his way to the door.

“Hey, Josh. It’s Paul.”

“Oh, what’s up, Meany?” Josh asks as he opens the door, rubbing his eyes.

“I wanted to talk to you. Can we take a walk?”

“Yeah. Yeah, let me grab my shoes.”

Josh slid his shoes on and tossed his phone and room key into his pocket before stepping out into the hallway, closing the door behind him as he looked over at his instructor.

“So, what did you need to talk about?” Josh asks as they start walking.

“Well, I’ve noticed that you haven’t really been… yourself recently.” Meany says, looking over at him.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been distracted.”

Josh scoffed softly.

“I’m serious, Dun. I see it everyday. What’s going on?” Meany slows his walking to a stop. 

“Nothing.” Josh says as he stands, a few steps ahead.

“I know you better than that, kid. But if you don’t wanna talk about it, I won’t push you. Just know that I’m here.”

“Thanks, Meany.” Josh said, pushing his hands into his pockets and watching as Meany nodded before walking away.

At some point, Tyler remembered that Josh had given him his number so, throughout the next week, he would text Josh during breaks or pretty much any time his hands weren’t on his keyboard. 

“I started learning the new piece :)”

and then 2 minutes later,

“It’s cool. I really like it :) I have a little mini-solo.”

Josh’s phone sat untouched in his bag, buzzing with each notification. It started to become his motivation to get through each rehearsal chunk. The heat was killing him but knowing that he’d have Tyler’s messages to read during break kept him going. 

“I hope you’re having fun outside. It’s cold in here.”

“The mallets are doing some burning, so I get to sit and do nothing.”

“Please go on break soon.”

“How do you not melt in the sun all day?”

Tyler set his phone down, looking over his music for a moment before the screen lit up with a soft “ding!” 

“on break now. way too hot out here. wishing I was in there with you.” 

Tyler smiled to himself as he could tell that Josh was typing quickly, he’d already learned that he would cut the beginnings of his sentences down. 

“gonna have to practice later in the dorm. hope you won’t mind :)”

“I won’t. It’s all good! :)” 

Those were Tyler’s famous last words.

That night, Josh and Tyler’s dorm was noisy. Josh was beating away on his drum pad, each strike made Tyler’s head vibrate. The sounds didn't help with the headache he’d picked up sometime around dinner. You’d think that a single person drumming on a soft practice pad would be much more quiet. 

Tyler laid on his back, looking over at Josh. He watched as the drumstick bounced off the pad. He never got the chance to admire Josh as he drummed. 

The muscles in his forearms flexed and contracted with each movement. There was a hypnotic rhythm in the way he moved and Tyler couldn’t find a reason to take his eyes off it. With every strike, Josh’s years of practice were evident. He thought about how his arms– his hands , rough and calloused against his skin. 

Tyler’s cheeks flushed at the sudden realization of how he had let his mind wander, causing heat to pool in the lower portion of his stomach. He cleared his throat and shifted, embarrassed, he pulled out his phone to distract himself.

After about 15 minutes of doom scrolling on Instagram, attempting and failing to push his previous thoughts away, Josh’s drumming stopped. He groaned and looked down at his hands.

“Ty, you have any lotion?” 

“Uh, Yeah. Why?”

“My hands are chapped from playing. It’s getting annoying.” Josh laughed, setting his sticks to the side.

Tyler sat up and reached over the side of his bed, pulling out a bottle of lotion from underneath. He handed it to Josh, who’s eyebrows were now raised. 

“It’s not what you think, I swear.” Tyler laughed sheepishly.

“Hey, no judgment here.” Josh teased as he took the lotion and lathered it in his hands before giving it back to Tyler.

“I’m serious!” Tyler whined, tossing the bottle back to its spot under the bed.

“I mean, do what you gotta do, man!” Josh continues his teasing through laughs.

“Oh my god. Please, shut up.” Tyler mumbles, looking over at the other. 

Tyler’s eyes get stuck on Josh’s hands, the lotion being rubbed into his skin. The way his hands slid against one another. His previous thoughts he had forgotten about returned, taking over his mind once again. This time though, he didn’t fight it off as quickly as before, letting himself admire the other.

His mind recalls the morning they had woken up together and how they were practically wrapped around each other; at how nicely their bodies had fit together. He remembers how they had looked at each other, the memory of Josh’s sleepy, yet intense gaze sending a shiver down his spine.

He clears his throat as he becomes acutely aware of how uncomfortable his pants had become before laying back down and pulling a blanket over his lap, and pretending that he wasn’t just fantasizing about his friend in ways that are definitely not ways you think about your friend.

That next week, since spring training was nearing its end, it came time to try on the new uniforms. Josh was a little nervous about the change from traditional uniforms to this new design that was made to fit the show.

But , from the promo pictures that he’d seen, they look really good. Not many corps had done this yet, so it was cool to be a part of what would hopefully become a new trend. 

All of the male percussionists were called into a conference room to get their uniforms, so Josh and Tyler went down together. Once they had picked up their garment bags, they were headed back to their room to try them on.

Josh changed in the bedroom, while Tyler took the bathroom. 

As he pulled the uniform on, Josh felt weird. Like it didn’t fit quite right. It didn’t look… bad , per say. But it just felt wrong. It was tight on his chest, his biceps were slightly straining the material. 

Meanwhile, Tyler slid into his. As he looked at his reflection, he felt small. It was tight in weird places, but loose in others. The pant legs were too long. The texture was awful. He kind of hated it. 

Tyler hesitated as he reached for the door handle. As he stepped out of the bathroom, he almost tripped over his pant legs as he adjusted it, his eyes catching on Josh. 

“I think it’s a little too tight.” Josh said sheepishly, looking over at Tyler. The brunette breathed out a laugh, making sure his next steps were more careful as he made his way over to Josh.

“Been hitting the gym recently, J?” Tyler jokes, playfully nudging Josh’s shoulder as he stands beside him, not so discreetly taking in the others defined muscles.

Josh laughs, shaking his head as he bumps Tyler back. Tyler laughs in return as he quickly averts his eyes from the other, opting to look down at himself, messing with one of his pant legs.  

“I haven’t, actually . I think I just need to get some adjustments.” Josh awkwardly pulled at the tight fabric around his biceps.

“Nono- Josh, it’s good. You look good.” Tyler speaks as he looks over at Josh, reaching out his hand and letting it linger on Josh’s shoulder before pulling it away.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They stared at each other, wide eyed and for a little too long. Josh blinked, cleaning his throat. The sound caused the two to snap out of the haze that had caught them both.

“Yours looks good too, by the way.” Josh says, breaking the silence that had settled over them. Tyler nods, smiling as he tilts his head away to hide the flush of his face. 

“Oh. Thank you.” 

“Of course. Now let's get out of these, yeah?” Josh asks. Tyler nods in response, hiking up his pant legs as he makes his way back to the bathroom.

Later on, the two sat silently in their room. Tyler at the desk, Josh in his bed. Tyler was scribbling something on his sheet music, his fingers airplaying the rhythms as he read it over.

“Ty?” Josh calls softly.

“Yeah?” Tyler turned in his chair to face the other.

“It’s getting late. Are you gonna sleep soon?”

“Uhh… probably. I’ve just been having trouble with some of my music, so I’m gonna keep working on it for a bit.”

“You need to sleep.” 

“But-“ 

“No buts, Tyler. You’ll have time tomorrow. Sleep.” Josh’s voice is firm.

“Yeah, okay. Let me just… do this first.” Tyler trails as he turns to face the desk again.

“Tyler.”

He hummed in response, his eyes back on his sheet music.

Josh climbed out of his bed, walking up to Tyler from behind. He reached over him and grabbed the paper Tyler was so immersed in.

“Hey!” Tyler spins around in his chair, trying to snatch the paper back.

“Bed time for Tyler.” Josh says with a smile as he hides the sheet behind his back.

“I’m not tired.” 

“Too bad.” Josh grabs Tyler’s hand, who reluctantly lets him pull him up.

“You’re so mean.” Tyler huffs as he flops down on his bed.

“I’m just trying to make sure our beloved synth player gets his beauty sleep.” Josh teases, sitting down on the edge of his bed, facing Tyler.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Tyler mumbled, pushing his blankets back and making himself comfortable.

“I’m just “mean” because I care.” Josh says as he flips off the light between their beds.

Tyler huffs in response.

“Goodnight, Ty.”

“Night, J.”

An hour later, Tyler found himself thinking of Josh as he attempted to fall asleep. He tossed and turned, his thoughts were overflowing with Josh and how badly he craved him. He wished they were tangled up in bed, curled together and warm. Along with more… provocative thoughts, ones he shouldn’t be having. 

He yearned to crawl into the other's bed. He hungered to feel Josh’s strong arms wrapped around him, holding him in a way he’s never been held before. He longed to sleep as comfortably as he did the night they had fallen asleep together by accident. 

Tyler had turned over to face Josh, his eyes roamed over his frame as he’d done countless times before. He sighed softly before burying his face in his pillow. His brain eventually went quiet as sleep overtook him.

At least spring training was almost over.

Chapter Text

Josh had never been so afraid of a feeling. It was too strong, he felt pitiful. It was genuinely pathetic, how down bad he was. He’d see Tyler do the smallest thing, something as mundane as shifting in bed or cracking a smile. It took all of his self control not to spill his every thought and confess his undying love. All he wanted to do was grab him by the shoulders and kiss him all over.

All of this ran through his head as he headed back to their shared dorm. After 5 weeks of sharing a space and even sleeping in the same bed for a good portion of it, Josh wanted nothing else. Just Tyler. 

His mind was preoccupied, spinning. After a long day of rehearsal, Josh just wanted to curl up with Tyler and sleep for years. Unfortunately, Mr. Meany not-so-nicely reminded him that he needed to dye his hair. The yellow wouldn’t work during competition season. Josh was frustrated, but his thoughts of Tyler were still at the forefront of his mind.

Josh fumbled with his keys as he unlocked the door. He swore as he tossed his stuff down.

“Oh. Hey, Ty.” He mumbles.

“…What’s up, J?” Tyler’s sitting at the desk. 

“I have to dye my hair, like immediately.”

“Why? I like the yellow.” Tyler really wasn’t a fan of bright yellow but now it was familiar. To him, it was something so unmistakably Josh . 

“DCI rule, no unnatural hair colors. I had completely forgotten until Meany reminded me.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah. Can you help me?”

“Absolutely, yeah.” 

“Thanks, man.”

An hour later, after a quick trip to Sally’s Beauty, the two got set up in their bathroom. Josh sat on the closed toilet with Tyler in front of him. 

As Tyler stares at the bowl and box of dye sitting on the counter in front of him, he quickly comes to the realization that he does not know how to dye hair.

Josh must've seen how confused he looked, because he quickly took over. He took the brown hair dye out of its box, making quick work of uncapping it and pouring the entire thing into the bowl.

Tyler watches as the other adds developer to the bowl. He must've gotten too caught up in the motions of his hands— not that he was paying close attention to how they moved or anything, because he was caught off guard at the bowl being handed to him.

“Wanna mix them together?” Josh asks as Tyler takes the bowl, and he blinks his previous thoughts away, nodding,

“Oh! Yeah, sure.” Tyler smiles, grabbing the dye brush and stirring the mixture together.

He makes a point to stare at the bowl and only the bowl once he catches Josh taking off his shirt in his periphery, definitely not frowning slightly when he sees a towel being draped over his shoulders. Jeez, Tyler, get a hold of yourself.

“Uh, when do I know when it's mixed in enough?” He asks, just to give his mind something else to think about, but also because he truly didn't know.

“When it's all brown, it should be good,”

“Oh, yeah, duh.” He replies, mentally face palming himself as Josh laughs from his spot besides him. Tyler lets himself zone out into the motions of flicking his wrist back and fourth, only slowing down when he realizes the dye has turned darker.

“Okay, does this look done to you?” The brunette asks, shifting to let the other look down into the bowl. Josh smiles as he nods, humming in approval. It makes his chest tighten, smiling wide back.

Tyler ran his hand through Josh’s hair before setting the bowl down. He put his gloves on and started to apply the dye. The yellow began to be covered in the dark goop. 

It was quiet, Tyler could hear Josh gently drumming with his hands against his thighs. He picked up on the rhythm, it was the opening percussion feature.

“Do you ever stop drumming?” Tyler teases as he applies some more of the dye.

Josh frowns. “Do you want me to quit?”

“No, it’s okay! I was just teasing.” Tyler tilts Josh’s head back for a second.

“Oh, okay. Sorry.” Josh says, his heart flutters as Tyler tilts his head. It’s the simplest of touches, but it had an effect on him like no other.

“Don’t apologize.” Tyler smiles softly and tilts Josh’s head back down to finish covering up the last of the yellow.

For his first time, it wasn’t... bad. There were a few times where Tyler flicked the brush the wrong way, and got dye on his shirt. It caused Tyler to groan, Josh stifled a laugh. Tyler definitely didn't purposely get dye on his forehead for that…

But, once it was all said and done, the bowl was empty and there was not a single spot of yellow in Josh’s hair. After Tyler removed the gloves and threw them away, he took a moment to look at Josh.

“What? Are you looking at your amazing dye skills all over my forehead?” Josh questioned after a beat, Tyler's gaze immediately looking away.

“No– just thinking of how much I’ll miss the yellow.” 

Tyler can hear the sigh Josh lets out at that as he grabs the hand towel, running it under the faucet for a few seconds.

“Yeah, me too. But hey, that just means we can do this again once the season is over!” Josh smiles as he speaks, and the thought of hanging out with him, outside of band, sends heat rushing to his face.

“Yeah, man! That would be awesome,” He replies, making sure his voice is steady as he rings out the towel, “J, look at me real quick?”

Tyler places a hand on Josh’s jaw, tilting his head slightly as he starts to rub off the excess dye that had made its way on his forehead, and somehow his nose.

“I– uh, yeah. Yeah-” The older stutters out, making Tyler frown. He noticed how the other tensed, and backed up,

“Shit, sorry, was that—”

“Yeah, dude– yeah, it's fine. Sorry. Just uh, didn't expect it.” 

Tyler stares at him for a moment, worried about making the other uncomfortable, before slowly returning to his original position.

It didn't take him long to wipe it off, only to scrub a little harder at a certain spot where the dye had dried, muttering a soft apology under his breath for it.

Once he was done, he hung the towel up after he had rinsed the excess dye off and sighed, moving back and leaning against the wall.

“Alright, how long do we gotta wait for it to be done?” Tyler questions, and he watches as it takes Josh a moment to reply, as if he was processing what he had said a second too late.

“Should just take, like, 45-ish minutes?”

“Okay! While we wait, do you wanna start a movie or something?”

“Yeah!” Josh said with a smile as he reached for the bathroom door.

The two got situated in Josh’s bed. They sat close, their legs pressed together as Josh put the laptop half on his leg and half on Tyler’s.

He pulled up Netflix and they agreed on some horror movie that Josh wanted to watch.

20 minutes into the movie, Tyler was already clinging to Josh for dear life. He was a huge baby when it came to horror movies and he knew it wasn’t a good idea to watch one, but he wanted to. For Josh.

Josh sighed and laughed softly, “Okay, I don’t want you to get dye on you. How about we pause it and watch something else for the next 20 minutes?” Josh asks, pausing the movie and exiting out of it.

Tyler nods, sheepishly shifting, so he wasn’t clung to Josh as closely.

After 20 more minutes and an episode of My Little Pony, Josh took the laptop off their legs and got out of bed.

He and Tyler rinsed the dye out of his hair. Cold water went everywhere and Josh wimped out and made the water a little bit warmer. 

Eventually, Josh’s hair was rinsed out and they headed back to bed to finish the movie.

As Josh’s hair started to dry, Tyler couldn’t peel his eyes away from the dark curls that were slowly becoming more pronounced. 

He was ripped out of his stare of adoration as a shriek came from the computer. 

Tyler yelped and clung to Josh, hiding his face in the other's neck. Josh reached forward with his free hand and paused the movie. 

“I can turn it off, Ty.”

“…But you wanted to watch it.”

“And you’re clinging to me like a baby koala.”

Tyler pulled his head back slightly, just enough to see Josh’s face. The two went quiet, the silence quickly brought tension. Their faces were too close. Tyler felt like he couldn’t breathe. Josh felt like he’d never need air again. 

“Tyler?” Josh whispered.

“Josh.” Tyler says in response.

“I really want to kiss you.”

Tyler’s heart skipped more than just a beat. It was like his whole body stopped functioning. His head spun. Josh wanted to kiss him? Was he hearing that right?

Josh didn’t know where the sudden courage came from, but it quickly crumbled away as he saw Tyler’s face change.

“What?” Tyler mumbled, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“I’m sorry. Uh. Forget it.”

“No… no, wait. Don’t apologize. Say it again?”

“…I really want to kiss you.”

Tyler tilted his head slightly, silently surveying Josh’s face for any sign of doubt or uncertainty. 

“Why?”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.” Tyler repeats, his expression demanding an explanation.

“You’re you. God, Tyler. I’ve never met anyone as perfect as you. From the moment I saw you, I knew there was something special about you. Just getting to be your best friend is beyond enough, but every time I look at you, I just want more . I want to pick you apart and learn everything I can about you. I want to touch your soul and consume your heart. I’m so obsessed with you that it’s an issue.”

Tyler sat there with his mouth slightly ajar, starstruck before whispering, “…Kiss me. Please.”

Josh smiled softly, his hand gently cupping Tyler’s cheek. Tyler was a little hesitant, but it was gone the moment he felt Josh’s lips against his own. It was soft, sweet. Josh tasted like everything good in the world and Tyler wanted more of it.

The kiss broke slowly, Josh drawing back first. Tyler made a soft hum of protest.

“Why’d you stop?”

“I didn’t want to overwhelm you, Ty.”

Tyler looked into Josh’s eyes, pupils dilated and lips a soft red. 

“That was so… real.” Tyler whispered softly. 

“It was. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know. I can just see it in your eyes. It was real. No one’s ever looked at me like that.”

Josh frowned. “Really? No one?”

“No one. I’m not really sought after, you know.”

“That’s hard to believe.”

Tyler scoffed. 

“Okay. Well, you’re sought after by me.” Josh smiled.

“Yeah? I guess I am.” 

“Is that… okay with you? How do you feel about that?” Josh asks, his smile faltering.

“It’s just really hard. I’m so confused. I want you more than anything, I really do. I just… religious stuff and I’ve never thought that I was gay.” Tyler brought his hand up to his hair, twirling one strand on the side of his head. 

Josh gently took Tyler’s hand in his own, intertwining their fingers as he sat their hands in his lap. 

“If you need time, I’ll wait. If you’d rather just be friends, that’s more than fine with me. If you want to be together now, that works too. I just want you in any way I can have you, Tyler.” 

”I… fuck,” Tyler mumbled. “This is so difficult.”

“I know, sweet boy.”

“I can’t tell if that helped or made it worse.” 

“Sorry. I won’t..”

“No, don’t apologize. Never apologize.”

“Sor-“ 

Tyler cut him off by pressing their lips together again. “No.” 

“…If I say it again will I get another kiss?”

Tyler rolled his eyes and kissed Josh again, a soft peck. 

Josh was smiling like an idiot. 

“I want to be with you. I just don’t think I’m ready.”

“I understand and I respect that.“ Josh pauses to look down at their hands, he traced his thumb over the back of Tyler’s. “What do you want for now?”

Tyler chews his lip as he thinks. “Can we be best friends who kiss a little? Just so I can figure myself out.”

“Of course, and please don’t rush finding yourself. I’ll wait centuries if I have to.”

“Thank you…”

“Nothing to thank me for, sweet boy.” Josh paused. “Is that okay? Can I call you that?”

Tyler smiled sheepishly, “Yeah. I like that.”

“Good. My sweet boy.” Josh presses a kiss to Tyler’s forehead. 

Tyler’s face was flushed and he felt like he was drowning. This was a different kind of drowning, though. He’d always been used to the feeling of being lost in his head. Drowning in his thoughts and feelings, but now? He was completely submerged in feelings he’d never experienced before. He was flooded in a soft warmth. Tyler was drowning in real love. In Josh.

Tyler yawned. Josh tilted his head like a dog.

“Tired?”

“…Yeah.”

Josh opened his arms and leaned back. “Bedtime?”

Tyler nodded and curled up in Josh’s arms, warmth overtaking him.

The next morning, Josh woke up first. He laid there, quietly raking his eyes over Tyler’s sleeping body. He silently thanked all things holy that Tyler was his. Even if it wasn’t set in stone, he has his boy and that’s what mattered. 

15 minutes later, Josh was running his fingers gently through Tyler’s hair as he started to stir. 

“Good morning, Ty.” 

Tyler groaned in response and buried his face into Josh’s chest.

“Sweet boy, it’s time to get up…” Josh hums softly, his fingers carding through Tyler’s hair.

“Don’t wanna.”

“I know, but you gotta.” 

“Mmrghh…” Tyler groans, reluctantly lifting his head up.

“There he is…” Josh smiles, laying his hand on Tyler’s cheek. “Last day of training. Ready for your first real performance tonight?” 

Tyler cracks a small smile and nods as he rubs his eyes. “Yeah. I’m excited. Little bit nervous, but excited.”

The day went fast. Running through the chunks of each movement, repping the full show back to back to back. It was a blur, but it held an exhilaration that was new for Tyler.

The sun was setting, the stands were starting to fill out with family and fans. Tyler’s hands were shaking. This performance wasn’t any different from the runs at the end of each rehearsal day, yet it felt so much more intimidating. 

It was nothing special. No uniforms, just one full run of the show to round off spring training. 

Tyler felt a hand on his shoulder, he instantly melted back as he realized who it was.

“Hey, deep breaths. It’s nothing to stress about.” Josh stepped out in front of him. 

“I know. I knowww…” Tyler leaned his head forward, resting it against Josh’s shoulder for a moment as he took slow, deep breaths.

“You’ve got this, Ty. I’ll see you after the performance, okay?” Josh looked around before pressing a quick kiss to Tyler’s forehead.

Tyler did his pre-show ritual of checking everything and before he knew it, the speakers blared;

“Performing their 2016 program, “Down Side Up”, Drum Corps International is proud to present; The Bluecoats!”

And then the show began. 

Tyler watched as Josh stood atop the ramp on the 30 yard line. From his spot, Tyler had a perfect view of Josh’s opening set. He gets about 30 seconds to admire Josh before locking in on the drum major and going into performance mode. 

It was like a blink of an eye and the show finished. Tyler took a deep breath, taking in the audience and their reaction to the performance. It was an adrenaline high like nothing else.

Coming off the field, Josh ran to Tyler. He quickly set his drum down and wrapped the boy in a hug. 

“Dude! That was great!” Josh beamed, loosening his grip.

“Best run we’ve had so far!” Tyler said, excitedly rocking on his heels. 

“Want me to help you bring the synth cart up to the trailer?” Josh asks, picking up his harness.

“Yeah, if you want.” Tyler smiles. “You can set your snare down in the bottom compartment. It’ll make it easier to push.” 

The two made their way up the slightly inclined parking lot, Josh complained more than Tyler. But eventually, they reached the trailer and the percussionists loaded their instruments for their first travel day. 

Josh and Tyler headed back to their dorm, immediately changing out of their sweaty clothes and taking their own respective showers. 

Tyler had gotten out first, so when Josh came out of his shower, he beelined for where Tyler was on his bed, collapsing into him and cuddling up against him. He sighed, letting the weight and warmth of Josh lull him into a long night's rest to prepare for the following day’s ride to Indianapolis. 

Chapter Text

Equipment was checked. Bags were loaded. The buses quickly began to fill with the 160+ members of the corps.

Tyler stood with his backpack on, looking like it was his first day of school. He jumped and whipped his head around as a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Woah! It’s just me, silly.” Josh’s smile was radiant. “Sorry for sneaking up on you.”

“No, you’re okay! I was kinda zoned out. There’s a lot going on out here.” Tyler laid his hand against his thigh and started to tap out scales and arpeggios. An anxious habit.

Josh noticed almost immediately. He wanted to do anything to keep Tyler from being even the slightest bit nervous.

“Hey, the percussion bus is the third one down. Do you wanna go ahead and get on?” Josh stood closer to Tyler, sneaking to interlock their pinkies. 

Tyler nodded, offering Josh a shy smile before pulling away and stepping off towards the bus. Josh followed closely behind.

“There’s a row open in the middle on the right. That’s ours.” Josh said, leaning forward to Tyler’s ear. 

Josh was normally seated in the back, but he knew it would be too overwhelming for Tyler. It gets loud and chaotic back there. So, he opted for the middle and used the excuse that it was a better spot to “keep an eye on things.” 

As they got seated and comfortable, Josh offered Tyler the window seat. He tried to argue but Josh quickly shut him up by pressing his lips against his neck.

Mr. Meany was last on the bus. He did a headcount and radioed to the head director that the percussionists were ready to go.

Not long after, the buses were off. The road to finals had begun. They had a roughly five hour drive from Canton to Indianapolis. Their first show would be at Lucas Oil Stadium for the DCI Premiere.

There was a stacked lineup and Josh was a little nervous. Phantom Regiment, Carolina Crown, The Cavaliers, The Cadets, and more. It was gonna be a tough one to start the season. He wondered if Tyler knew just how intense some of their competitors would be.

They were told that this premiere would be live-streamed into movie theaters across the country, which was even more daunting. Josh swallowed his nerves for now and leaned over to Tyler.

“Have you ever been to Indy?” He asked.

“Uhh… No, I don’t think I have.” Tyler turned to look at Josh.

“Dude, I love it. Lucas Oil is so fun to play. I think you’ll like it.” Josh says. The bus goes around a curve, Josh laughs as he’s squished against the other boy. Tyler squeaks and attempts to shove Josh off of him faster, but the drummer is too heavy.

“I’m excited. Everyone seems to hype it up, so I’m hoping it lives up to the expectations.” Tyler smiled.

Suddenly, the bus started vibrating. A loud bass note ripped through the vehicle as the guys in the back blasted music. It sounded horrible.

Tyler flashed Josh a very concerned look.

“IT'S NORMAL. GET USED TO IT.” Josh raised his voice.

“REALLY? SHIT, I DON’T HAVE HEADPHONES.” Tyler had his earbuds, but they’d be no help.

“YOU CAN BORROW MINE!” Josh smiled and reached into his bag. He somehow has a gentle lilt to his voice even as they’re shouting to be heard over the awful music.

The two sat without a word between them. Tyler’s hand laid on his thigh, Josh kept eyeing it. After a few minutes, he bit the bullet and slipped his hand into the others. It was cold yet sweaty. Josh’s heart was pounding.

Eventually, the excitement from the back of the bus calmed down enough for the two to hold a conversation without shouting. 

“…Are they listening to the Ratatouille soundtrack now?” Tyler asked as he slid his headphones off.

“Yeah. That’s also pretty normal. One time last year, they decided to listen to the Interstellar soundtrack and at least five of them started sobbing like babies.” Josh said as Tyler laughed softly. 

“Really? Wow.”

“Mhmm… it was interesting, to say the least.” 

The music takes a drastic shift, Blake Shelton’s “God’s Country” blares from the back.

“Sometimes it’s the most loud, vile music that you’ll ever hear. Other times, it's obnoxious country music. And then, movie soundtracks. They also like to dabble in hymns and gospel music.”

“That sounds… great. Can’t wait to hear it all.” Tyler rolled his eyes and laid his head back against the seat. 

Josh looked over at him, his Adam's apple was one of the most tempting things Josh had ever seen. It was so perfect, the shape almost exactly tailored to Josh’s teeth. He wanted to feel Tyler swallow under his lips.

It took all of his strength not to lean over and sink his teeth straight into the other boy’s neck. He felt like a freak, but how could he help himself? Tyler Joseph was sitting next to him, and he was a siren’s song personified.

Somehow, Josh managed to look away. He stuck his eyes to his phone and sighed, scrolling through Instagram memes.

He wanted to look Tyler in the eyes and just shout “I WANT YOU.” But instead, he sat silently. His hand resting in Tyler’s, tapping gently against the skin. 

About an hour later, a little less than half way through, they stopped at a gas station to fuel up and take a quick bathroom break. Tyler had to pee, and he told Josh to head back to the bus. Josh insisted on waiting. 

When Tyler got done, he walked out. Josh was leaning against the wall with his back turned, talking to a girl. She had curly brown hair and Tyler felt like he should know her name. She’s in color guard, he knew that much. Josh was laughing hard at something she said, and Tyler felt something burn in his chest.

Tyler quietly stepped up behind Josh, hesitating to tap him on the shoulder. He shifted and his shoe squeaked, Josh quickly glanced back. Tyler schooled his expression, knowing he probably looked like a crazy person, glaring at the girl like that.

“Oh! Hey, Ty. Have you met Debby?” He smiled, gesturing to the girl in front of him. 

“I don’t think so. Hi, Debby. I’m Tyler.” Tyler offered her a small wave. Debby waved back. Tyler wanted to vomit.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to actually meet you” She was smiling.

“Yeah. Uh. Nice to meet you too.” Tyler awkwardly shifted on his feet. His fingers tapped out those scales on his leg again. “I’m gonna… get back on the bus.” 

No more than 10 minutes later, the busses were back on the road. 

Tyler was quiet. He answered Josh’s conversations with hums and single word answers. He felt bad, but he couldn’t help it. He knew it was childish, but he just felt a little hurt. Stupid.

“We’re about two hours away now. Have you thought about sleeping arrangements?” Josh asked.

“Mhm.” Tyler hummed in response. He hadn’t. What if Josh doesn’t want to sleep near him? That would just be embarrassing. He doesn’t want to take any chances and ruin things.

“Okay…” Josh stopped for a moment, looking over Tyler’s expression. “Are you alright, Ty?”

“I’m fine.” Tyler pushes his mouth into a smile.

“That’s not a real smile.” Josh tilted his head with concern. 

“What? It is.” Tyler huffed. His cheeks felt hot.

“It’s obviously not. You can’t see your dimples, and your teeth aren’t showing.” Josh points at the area on Tyler’s face where the dimples should be. Oh. Tyler didn’t even know he had dimples.

Tyler sat there, his face slowly wiping the fake smile away. “How… how do you know that?”

“I’ve had a lot of time to watch your expressions.” Josh’s eyes bounce between Tyler’s eyes and lips. A triangle formation: left eye, right eye, mouth, repeat.

“When?” Tyler shifts in his seat, breaking eye contact. 

“All the time. Somehow, you never seem to notice.” Josh dips his head, trying to get Tyler’s eyes back on his own. 

Tyler goes quiet, he brings his eyes back up and studies Josh’s expression. He’s gotta be making this up. Tyler’s never had any sort of attention on him— not to this extent. It’s just wishful thinking. Josh is just trying to get to him. He’d never be the object of such studying, that’s the kind of thing that happens to princesses, or hot people. Tyler is neither.

“And now you’re not sure if I’m lying or not. You think I’m making stuff up.” Josh explains. “You’re narrowing your eyes. You do that when you’re thinking hard about something. When you’re suspicious.”

“No, I don’t.” Tyler counters, quickly widening his eyes.

Josh laughs, adoring Tyler’s attempt to dismiss his observations. “You’re such a silly boy.” There was some sort of glint in his eye. Almost knowing, yet still sweet and gentle.

Tyler was preparing to make another rebuttal but he was thrown off by the nickname. Oh my god oh my god ohmygod. What. What. Did he just say that. “Haha. Yeah. I guess I am.” He could literally feel his face turning red.

Some time passed and Tyler sighed, staring out the window and counting cars that passed by. His eyes were unfocused, each vehicle a blur of color as the busses make their way to Indianapolis.

He was bored. So utterly bored. His legs were stiff, his breathing shallow, his hands glued to his lap. Every so often he had to force a harsh sigh from his nose just because he had no other way to remove the pent up energy buzzing below his skin.

He side-eyes Josh, an idea popping into his head. Josh was reading a book, which was nerdy and a little endearing. Tyler would probably be content with watching and examining Josh if he weren’t about to die of boredom.

His shoe nudges against Josh’s ankle. The drummer makes a small humming sound, but other than that hardly acknowledges Tyler.

That just won’t do.

Tyler squints his eyes. He reaches out, poking Josh between the ribs. Josh grunts louder this time, swatting Tyler away. He grabs Tyler’s hand midair and intertwines their fingers, resting their hands in his lap. Tyler feels his cheeks get a little warm, but he shakes it off. He needs attention. He needs Josh’s voice.

He leans in, mouth almost touching the snare drummer’s ear. His voice is less than a mumble when he speaks.

“Jooooshhh…” A poke, this time from his other hand, aiming for the stomach.

Josh squeezes his hand. Tyler pulls it out of his grip, instead teasingly stroking his arm. He does so in that way that’s halfway between a joke and legitimate flirting-teasing. He’s grinning when he speaks again.

“Quit being a nerd… talk to meee.”

Josh sighs. His shoulders sag and Tyler knows he’s won before Josh has even closed the book. Now Tyler can see that said book was some book about space. Aliens, maybe? God, he is such a nerd.

“What is it, Ty?”

Josh’s voice is attentive, yet tired. He’s clearly exhausted by the boredom as well. Tyler nuzzles at his shoulder and nips the seam of his shirt sleeve.

“I’m just bored! I wanna talk to you. You’re being all boring and quiet and I miss hearing you. Even if you’re being a geek about band stuff.”

Josh sighs with annoyance once again. His hand rubs Tyler’s forearm, his index finger wiggling under his rubber band and stretching it idly. 

Tyler baits Josh into a lengthy, nerdy rant. Something about the lambda symbol and how it can mean a bunch of different things for different subjects. He thinks he heard something about being gay in the jumbled mess of Josh’s words. They all just bounce around in his head, not really registering as anything more than Josh’s voice and his endearing rant. He has a focused look on his face as he gestures to explain to Tyler.

“That’s really interesting but you’re such a nerd.” Tyler giggles, sliding his hand into Josh’s.

“Hey, man! You wanted to listen to me talk.” Josh says as he squeezes the other boy’s hand.

Tyler just huffs, laughing as he lays his head on Josh’s shoulder. He yawned and checked his phone for the time. Less than an hour left. His eyes hurt.

“Tired?”

“Yeah, but the moment I get off this bus I’ll be wide awake.” He grunts. He misses when he could nap in the middle of the day. It’s been so long.

“Take a nap, I’ll wake you up when we get there.” Josh ran a gentle hand through Tyler’s hair. It’s like his kryptonite. Tyler makes a soft “oh” sound out of surprise, and then he’s nuzzling into the touch. Josh twirls a lock around his fingers as Tyler drifts off.

Josh picks his book up and focuses on his reading again. The warmth of Tyler against his side is a comforting reminder. It makes him remember that Tyler is his, even if it’s unofficial. He can’t wait for the day that he can let everyone know. He wants to scream it from rooftops and do all of those things people talk about in love songs and romance movies.

It didn’t take long for Josh to start recognizing the area they were in. The memories from the two seasons before started to rush back to him. He knew they were nearing the stadium. They’d have a perfect view of it for a few seconds.

Josh gently nudges Tyler, who groans reluctantly.

“Hey, sleepyhead. Wake up for a minute. I want you to see the stadium.” Josh says before pressing a soft kiss to Tyler’s temple. 

Tyler groans in response but raises his head up. He was only out for like half an hour but he felt like it had been years. The comfort that Josh’s presence brought him needed to be studied. He could pass out in a heartbeat as long as Josh was against him. 

Soon after Tyler started to regain consciousness, they passed it. Lucas Oil Stadium. Everything would end in that building. It was surreal to think about how their season would start and end right there. Tyler let that resonate for a couple minutes before burrowing back into Josh’s side and falling asleep once again for the remainder of the bus ride.

That evening, the corps got settled into the gym of a high school about 30 minutes outside of Indianapolis. Tyler was excited to start competing but the one thing about tour that he was least excited about was the sleeping arrangements. Having to sprawl out in a high school gym floor with 200 other people isn’t the most appealing. 

The two boys unraveled their sleeping bags in a far corner, keeping themselves out of the chaos in the middle. Once they had settled, Josh ran off to go over some things with the rookie drumline members. So, Tyler was left to his own devices for a little bit. 

He took it as an opportunity to observe. In the middle of the floor, a group of the low brass members had set up camp. They had created a circle of sleeping bags with a fake “campfire” in the middle. Tyler squinted, the “campfire” was actually just a lantern. Around the edges of the gym, some members of the color guard were starting to inflate their air mattresses. Some of the hornline gathered near the exit, claiming their spot.

A few feet away, one of the mellophone girls had set up a spot for herself. Tyler noticed she had unraveled two sleeping bags. She sat on the one nearest to him. An orange one, with what looked to be pink on the inner lining. He quietly observed as Debby, Josh’s friend from earlier, made herself at home on the other. The girl's face lit up and she pulled Debby into a quick kiss.

Tyler quickly averted his eyes. His face heated up, feeling it burn bright red. Stupid, stupid.

“Hey, Ty. Are you… alright?” Josh plopped down onto his red sleeping bag, right beside Tyler’s. Their legs brushed together.

“Huh— Oh. Yeah. I’m fine. Sorry, I was just kinda zoned out.” 

“You do that a lot.” Josh laughed.

Tyler responded with a shrug. He faked a yawn and slid into his sleeping bag. He had his back to Josh. He could literally feel Josh frowning at him. The slight sense of rejection flowed off of Josh in waves. He was sort of like a puppy without attention. The drummer just huffed, more of a sad and resigned sound than annoyed. He was totally confused.

“Tyyy…” Josh laid next to him, not close enough to touch but close enough that he could feel his presence beside him. 

“Mmh.” Tyler hummed in response. He felt like dirt on Josh’s shoe. Useless and dumb.

“Are you alright? You’ve had a few times today where you haven’t seemed like yourself.” 

“I’m fine. Just overwhelmed, I think.” Liar. Well… it’s a half-truth at best. He’s glad Josh can’t see him, or he’d be caught instantly.

“Oh, yeah. I totally get that. It’s a lot to take in. Can I help at all?”

Tyler thinks. He doesn’t really need to, because he knows what he wants. What he needs. Josh is so warm and Tyler’s been cold all day. He misses the tiny dorm they had, if only for the comfort the closeness gave him. Even if they’re closer now. The privacy made him feel more open. With only Josh and God able to judge him, it didn’t scare him so bad.

“…When they turn the lights out, can you hold me for a couple minutes?” 

“Of course. Anything you need.” Josh’s voice cracked with exhaustion. Tyler wanted to feel his mouth shaping syllables against his own. Ew. Stop thinking like that.

The lights flash for a moment, and it startles Tyler into sitting up. He spots Debby and the mello girl, sitting shoulder to shoulder and scrolling through one of their phones together. Behind the clear plastic case was a picture of them making a heart with one hand each, Debby kissing mello-girl’s cheek. He feels embarrassed looking at them again, his previous assumptions washing over him like cold water.

He slumps back down, huffing as he reverts back to laying on his side.

“Five minutes,” Josh mumbled, his index finger tracing up and down the seam of Tyler’s blue sleeping bag. He would shiver if the pressure were more than a feather’s touch.

Said five minutes pass by in mere moments. Tyler was so focused on Josh’s mesmerizing movements against the fabric of his sleeping bag. He almost drifted off right then and there.

The lights go out for real this time. Tyler sees gentle shadows in front of him from the lantern in the center of the room before that’s off, too. The sound of people shuffling and muttering as they get tucked in is foreign yet comforting. It feels like “sleepovers” with his siblings, or the one year of summer camp he had as a kid. It feels nostalgic yet new, and it’s a strange swirl in his chest.

Josh unzips Tyler’s sleeping bag from the back, his soft breath feathering against the pianist’s neck. Warm, strong arms wrap around his middle. One of them crawls up to cradle his chest, the palm of Josh’s hand resting against his jackrabbit pulse. Tyler sighs with contentment even as his veins flutter with nerves. The fear of getting caught and the sheer excitement of Josh even existing this close to him makes his heart race.

“Relax, Ty,” Josh mumbled, his thumb rubbing up and down his hip. Tyler shivers.

Josh doesn’t say much else, just lets Tyler nod in response. A few gentle kisses are planted on Tyler’s neck. Tyler could die like this. Like those skeletons that were found intertwined in Pompeii or something. He needs Josh so bad it hurts. He needs to scream and cry or kick something.

He doesn’t do any of that. Instead he speaks up, willing his voice to not crack from the low volume.

“...Josh?” He doesn’t know why he poses it like a question. He knew Josh was awake. He kept kissing at his pulse and it drove Tyler insane. He felt stir-crazy with the knowledge that he couldn’t act upon anything even if he wanted to.

“Hmm?”

“Would you… um..” He gently clears his throat, wincing at the volume, “If I were secretly an alien, would you still like me?”

Josh let out a gentle laugh, shaking his head against Tyler’s shoulder.

“Duh. Aliens are cool. As long as you aren’t trying to kill me or something, I’d be fine with it. …Dying to an alien would be kind of awesome though.”

Tyler huffs. Josh is sweet, but he sort of should have predicted that. Josh clearly loves space stuff. Tyler’s pretty sure he has at least two alien-themed tattoos.

“Ugh… you’re too…” Perfect. He’s perfect. It’s unfair. “What would happen if I turned into a zombie? Would you kill me?”

Josh hums softly against his neck, seeming to think. He nips Tyler’s jaw before answering.

“I’d let you eat my brains. Then we’d be zombies together, right? I’d like being zombie b— uh, boy— best friends! Yes. Zombie best friends.”

Tyler’s chest is so warm it’s melting him from the inside. He hums in reply, sinking back into Josh’s chest. He’s so tired. He just wishes Josh could be next to him in the morning. He’ll wake up shivering, most likely. It’s always cold in school gymnasiums.

“Yeah… zombie boy.. friends.” His voice drifts off. Tyler’s lulled to sleep by Josh’s responses and the touch of his warm hands on Tyler’s cold abdomen.