Work Text:
[zero]
“What kind of food do you think she likes?”
“What do you mean? She’s a dog. She likes dog food.”
“You’ve clearly never had a dog before.”
“No, but feel free to enlighten me.”
“Some dogs,” Ye Xiu explained with great patience, “like fancy food. The really expensive stuff that you only feel comfortable buying on sale because it’s too painful otherwise. And some dogs will literally lick whatever leaks out of the trash off the floor and be happy. So, you see, some dogs have standards and others don’t.”
Han Wenqing stared at him skeptically. “She’ll eat what we give her and that’s that.”
They looked at their six-month-old, freshly adopted Shiba Inu mix. She looked back at them.
Her tail slowly began to wag.
She was so cute.
“And what are we going to name her?” Ye Xiu suddenly demanded, turning back to Han Wenqing.
“She already has a name.”
“A terrible name. I like the people at the shelter, but their naming sense is shit.”
“Whatever you say, One Autumn Leaf.”
“That was Su Mucheng!”
“Yeah, I’ve heard your excuses before.”
“Maybe we should break up.”
“I’m taking the dog.”
“You fucking hypocrite.”
[one]
Unable to decide on a name for their darling dog child, they’d taken to calling her Cutie (because she was very cute, of course). This was not conducive to scoldings, which was readily apparent from the outset. Nonetheless…
“Cutie, you cannot chew the leg of the couch. It’ll break eventually. You have perfectly good chew toys right over there. I just got them for you,” Han Wenqing said in his cold I-am-the-captain-here voice.
“Cutie, what did I tell you about making a mess? We just went outside; you should have peed then. See these mats? These are for you to pee on when we’re inside,” Han Wenqing insistently repeated.
“Cutie, this is not dog food. This is human food. You are not allowed to eat anything off the floor. You need to eat from your bowl,” Han Wenqing lectured, pointing at the bowl in question—only to do a double-take when he realized the bowl was, in fact, a small plate piled high with kibble.
“Ye Xiu.”
“Yes?” Ye Xiu finished scooping the rice out of the cooker before turning to regard Han Wenqing.
“Why doesn’t Cutie have proper dog bowls?” Han Wenqing demanded.
“Because we haven’t bought them yet.”
“She’s been here a week.”
“You said the bowls at the pet shop were too expensive,” Ye Xiu reminded him. “I said to buy them online. You forgot.”
Ye Xiu had to give it to Han Wenqing: he might complain at Cutie all day, but he wasted no time when reminded of his responsibilities. Customized dog bowls arrived at their apartment that same week. Decorated with little Shiba Inus. Hand-painted.
To boot, he also got her a fancy pink harness and matching leash, because apparently the plain blue set from the pet shop was not good enough.
Ye Xiu almost laughed himself sick when he saw.
[two]
Little did he know Han Wenqing would not stop there.
Between the two of them, Han Wenqing was the early riser. As such, he ensured Cutie had her three meals a day with the kind of steady, intense dedication he only ever displayed for Glory, the gym, and his relationship with Ye Xiu. His whole routine changed just to accommodate the presence of their new pet.
Wake up at six, use the bathroom, give Cutie breakfast.
Eat breakfast, spend time with Ye Xiu, walk Cutie at eight.
Make lunch, give Cutie lunch, eat lunch.
Tidy up before dinner, give Cutie dinner, eat dinner. (Ye Xiu made dinner.)
Spend more time with Ye Xiu, play with Cutie, walk Cutie at eight.
Somewhere in there, Han Wenqing went to the gym, trained, and attended to business. He had always been efficient and decently organized (a byproduct of Zhang Xinjie’s presence, Ye Xiu assumed), but he became a whole other person with Cutie in the house.
Ye Xiu worried what would become of this cozy routine when summer was over.
As for his own contributions… Admittedly, they were minimal. Not because he didn’t try, but because Han Wenqing did everything without so much as a by-your-leave. If there was anything that was Ye Xiu’s job exclusively, it was making sure Cutie’s water bowl was full and replacing the mats when she peed on them. He also seemed to be the only one who bothered picking up after her and Han Wenqing after their play sessions. Han Wenqing did make him accompany them on most walks, though, as he was apparently in dire need of the fresh air.
Ye Xiu wasn’t sure what fresh air he was talking about, but he supposed a little morning sun did him some good. And he supposed he was glad Han Wenqing, first-time dog owner, didn’t expect him to do all the work. He was just reasonably concerned that maybe Han Wenqing was taking this too far…but then again, his boyfriend was an imminently sensible man. He could be trusted to acknowledge his own limits.
[three]
Yeah, no. No, he could not.
Here was the thing: Cutie was a rescue dog, removed from the custody of an irresponsible breeder-slash-hoarder living in the countryside, and had suffered from no small amount of neglect and perhaps even abuse. She was easy to get along with and even easier to please, but she had her moments. They did their best to respect her need for space.
According to the people at the shelter, regular interaction, playing, and some light training ought to coax her out of her shell and improve her self-esteem. It was very important they provided her with that, because in addition to her painful past, Cutie was new to the city. The old double whammy. Ye Xiu sympathized.
Han Wenqing did more than sympathize. He made it his life’s mission to help Cutie adjust to her new circumstances in the most comfortable manner possible. Which is to say he signed up for a two-week dog training course for beginners at a local facility.
“Don’t you think this is a bit much?” Ye Xiu asked dubiously.
“Well, I already paid for it. You should have said something yesterday.”
“I just didn’t think you’d do it right away.”
“I’ve gotta go back to the club eventually, there’s no time to wait.”
“We’ve been training her at home! We watched all those videos.”
Han Wenqing shook his head. “We need expert advice. You’ll be alone with her almost all day when I’m working. You need to be prepared.”
“Wenqing, she’s a lap dog, not a Rottweiler.”
“Still,” Han Wenqing insisted. “I’m going. It’s only an hour and a half every weekday night. You’ll be in Beijing and then Europe for all of it anyway.”
“Good lord,” Ye Xiu muttered under his breath. “Only?”
“What? It was a very good deal.”
[four]
As if the training course wasn’t enough, Han Wenqing started to talk about pet-sitters next.
“This is where I draw the line,” Ye Xiu said. Freshly returned from Europe, jet-lagged, and mentally exhausted, he was Not Having It. “I’m a homebody, Han Wenqing, the most I see of the world nowadays is the grocery store. We don’t need a pet-sitter.”
“Says the man who hasn’t been home in a whole month.”
“I’ll travel once a year at most, and you were home,” Ye Xiu pointed out, exasperated.
Han Wenqing eventually subsided, though not without a grumble or two. Yet when summer break ended and Han Wenqing went back to work, problems started to arise, just as Ye Xiu feared they would.
The worst part? He could only watch in bafflement as his imminently sensible boyfriend turned into the equivalent of a helicopter parent. When Han Wenqing was home, he didn’t let Cutie out of his sight. When only Ye Xiu was home, he requested updates on a regular basis. It got to the point where Ye Xiu had to talk Han Wenqing out of buying a baby camera. (Seriously, just what kind of use did he expect to get out of that?)
Ye Xiu did have a life; retirement hadn’t changed that. He started to rethink the pet-sitter thing. Maybe it would be nice to have someone to fall back on in certain situations. God knew Han Wenqing would have a heart attack if Cutie, like, coughed when neither of them was around to supervise.
The interview process began on a Monday, when Ye Xiu was home alone. He was surprised to have been entrusted with this sacred duty, but he was also glad for Han Wenqing’s absence, given his ever-rising standards as a dog owner.
Less than two weeks later, they hired a kind young woman who’d stay with Cutie at least once a week when Ye Xiu and Han Wenqing needed to go out for groceries and other errands. The arrangement was not only good for Cutie, who needed the extra socialization, but also for Han Wenqing’s peace of mind, and therefore Ye Xiu’s.
After all, there were only so many Cutie-related messages Ye Xiu could reply to before he utterly lost it.
[five]
Despite his dwindling patience, though, Ye Xiu knew being away for so long took a toll on Han Wenqing. The club was close enough that he could drive to and fro every night, but it was still a full-time job. He got permission to work from home on Mondays, which helped. Moderately.
Certainly not enough, given Han Wenqing’s wish to have Cutie sleep on their bed.
It happened like this: Han Wenqing was stretched out next to Ye Xiu after a long night. Saturdays were always long nights, and Han Wenqing always came home tired, even when he didn’t play on stage. Ye Xiu was happy to stay up waiting for him like a good boyfriend, especially if it meant he could help Han Wenqing rest and unwind. This often involved lazy sex, cuddles, or both. That particular night? Sex.
So there Ye Xiu was, sweaty and trying to get his breath back. There Han Wenqing was, equally sweaty, complimenting Ye Xiu’s skills (as he should). And there Cutie was, so tired of whining for attention at their bedside that she scrambled onto the mattress.
Ye Xiu didn’t know she could jump like that. It was a tall bed, and she wasn’t a big dog. So suffice to say, he wasn’t expecting the pressure of paws across his naked body.
“Shit! Old Han, get her off!” He hurriedly pulled the bedsheets over his more sensitive bits.
Han Wenqing scooped her up and settled her in his arms (away from his lap, notably). “It’s okay, she just missed me.”
“I missed you, idiot. Seriously, get her off the bed, you haven’t given her a bath in weeks.”
“She’s perfectly clean. I wipe her paw pads and brush her coat every night.”
“That’s not really the point. She has her own bed, this one’s ours.”
“She could sleep here. I can never spend enough time with her on most days.” Han Wenqing nuzzled the top of Cutie’s head even as she tried to lick him to death.
“No.”
“Come on.”
“No.”
“Why not?” Han Wenqing grumbled.
“She has her own bed. She’s a dog. She sheds. She wakes up and walks around. She barks and kicks in her sleep. We need good sleep! And sex!” Although they really ought to close the door on her before they went at it. Curse her sad puppy eyes.
Han Wenqing had the nerve to snort. “She’s not going to keep us from sleeping; we’ll be dead to the world. She definitely won’t keep us from fucking. We have the whole house, not just one bed. Besides, think about the cuddles.”
Ye Xiu thought about them—Cutie was great at cuddles—but held firm. “Still no.”
Visibly reluctant, Han Wenqing tucked Cutie into her bed in the corner. Clad only in a bath towel, he told her she was a good girl and to ignore Ye Xiu’s aspersions on her character.
Ye Xiu pointedly did not cuddle with Han Wenqing when he returned.
[plus one]
Cutie may have been the source of several disagreements, but she was a great dog. Ye Xiu didn’t resent her for Han Wenqing’s insanity, and since the voice of reason (Ye Xiu) still prevailed more often than not, life went on. Han Wenqing worked at Club Tyranny, Ye Xiu worked and studied at home, and Cutie got taken care of.
It was a comfortable routine. Yes, Ye Xiu was responsible for Cutie most of the day, but again: great dog. Easily pleased. Eager to please, ever since that training course. Ye Xiu handled the responsibility just fine, even when Han Wenqing was late and he had to walk her at night—far from his favorite activity.
Returning from one such walk, Ye Xiu found the service elevator occupied for over ten minutes. He sighed, picked Cutie up, and summoned the regular elevator.
“Hey,” Han Wenqing greeted with a smile when the door slid open.
“Oh, you’re home!” Ye Xiu hurried inside to give him a kiss. Between them, Cutie yipped with excitement and tried to launch herself at Han Wenqing.
Han Wenqing, holding takeout bags, was not free to receive her. “Traffic jam,” he explained. “Took forever to get here, and then took forever to park the car because that asshole invaded our spot again.”
“We’re gonna have to lodge another complaint,” Ye Xiu mused. “That garage is a nightmare sometimes.”
“Just sometimes? I never—” Han Wenqing’s mouth snapped shut when the door opened again on the next floor, where all the indoor recreational areas were.
Though Ye Xiu didn’t recognize her from the building’s group chat, the woman who entered appeared to be a fellow resident, since she pressed the button for another floor. She was in casual clothes and seemed to be around their age. She also studied them with intense consternation the moment the elevator started moving.
Ye Xiu thought she might just have a bad case of RBF, but then she said, “Animals are only allowed in the service elevator.”
Neither Han Wenqing nor Ye Xiu replied right away. People their age never bothered talking to them in the elevator. It was kind of surprising.
“Actually, there’s no rule here about animals in the elevators,” Ye Xiu eventually said. “Since it’s not prohibited, we take this one when we can’t take the service elevator.”
“Of course it’s a rule.”
“It’s not.”
She frowned. “I’ll talk with the manager. You can’t do this sort of thing.”
“I’m holding her,” Ye Xiu said slowly, “and again, it’s not a rule. I’ve read the building policy booklet from front to back. If they want us to only use the service elevator with animals, they should put it in writing.”
“It’s common sense.”
“Whatever, she’s not even bothering you.” Han Wenqing glanced at Cutie, who looked as angelic as always. “You’re about to get off anyway. What’s the problem?”
“The problem is that everyone knows animals go in the service elevator. You should have waited for the service elevator. What if she was dirty?”
“She’s not dirty,” Han Wenqing said.
“Animals are always dirty.”
Ye Xiu scowled. “Did you just call my precious baby dirty?”
“Look, you—” With a quiet ding, the elevator door opened.
“Well, bye,” Ye Xiu said rudely.
The woman scowled back at him and trudged out.
Alone again, Han Wenqing said, “Your precious baby?”
“Shut up.”
Han Wenqing laughed at him. “Hypocrite.”