Chapter Text
Xie Lian burrows himself further into the covers as the unwelcome chill of winter makes itself known.
With bleary eyes and a shaking hand, he blindly tries to grab his phone to shut off his alarm.
Right, he remembers, I don’t have a job anymore.
If one were to ask Xie Lian if he believed in luck, he would say yes because there was no other reason that his could possibly be so atrocious.
The delivery company he had just been hired for had immediately gone through a round of lay-offs, and of course, since he was one of the newest, he was the first to go.
Looks like he’ll have to go job searching again. Which was fine, really! It would just be quite nice if he could keep a job for longer than two months. Especially holidays looming over him like a dark, festive cloud …
Not as though he has anyone to celebrate with.
Sighing, Xie Lian drags himself up from his blanket-nest and sits upright against his pillow. As he looks out the window, he smiles faintly at the cascade of white that covers the streets and the shimmer in the air as snowflakes continuously fall to the ground.
Despite everything, Xie Lian still finds joy in the little things. Like snow: how beautifully it shines against the morning light, how it is a sign of peace and calm as people stay home to keep warm instead of traverse out unless they have to.
Maybe once he finishes the daunting tasks of the day, he’ll treat himself to a nice walk outside. Even if it’s chilly, he can handle rather cold temperatures quite well. Between several apartments with broken heaters, spending lots of time outside for several construction jobs he was severely underqualified for, and a relatively strong constitution, the cold was almost second nature to him. Especially if he goes for his walk at night: when the snow would be freshly laid on the ground and a guiding brightness against the dark sky.
Xie Lian thinks a walk may just be what he needs, because he feels a bit on edge despite his small flicker of glee at the cascading snowflakes falling against his window. The idea of his stroll later is going to be his reason to get through the day, since he has to get to work first.
Well, work of his own. Job applying is work. It takes a lot of effort! Especially when everywhere needs ten years of experience. Where was he supposed to get that, if no one would hire him, and he kept getting laid off?
Here I go again … he sighs as he boots up his laptop, the fan already in overdrive. As he waits for the screen to turn on, he digs out his phone and checks it.
One text message from his friend Shi Qingxuan, asking if he would be coming to the café today. He quickly replies “Not today,”, and huffs a laugh at the immediate thumbs down reaction he gets to that reply. He’ll have to make sure to stop by tomorrow.
The next message was one from his old boss, telling him to make sure to clear out his stuff. Which, he didn’t really have much of anyways, so he tells him to just give it to the other people in the office. He thinks all he had was perhaps a plant on its way out of the living world (which also served as a bit of self-punishment for himself, if he were being honest) and possibly a box of chocolates that were left there from the person who had his cubicle before him. From there, he deletes the thread, not wanting to be reminded of another lost job.
Lastly, he pauses as his finger hovers over the several last messages. His chest aches—two messages, sent around the same time yesterday, from his two old friends Feng Xin and Mu Qing who he has left behind, asking if he was doing anything for the holidays.
Xie Lian’s breath quickens against his will at the reminders of his past. Against his better judgement, he locks his phone and tosses it onto his bed. He can’t think about that right now. He has to move forward. It’s the only thing he can do.
As if sensing his anxiety, Ruoye, his loving and cherished white cat with the prettiest blue eyes jumps onto his desk and greets him with a head butt to the nose. Chuckling softly to himself, Xie Lian gives Ruoye a kiss between his ears and Ruoye purrs as he bestows his wonderful pet with some gentle scratches.
“Thanks, Ruoye,” Xie Lian says. Ruoye meows in response before he plants himself right next to Xie Lian’s laptop, curling up beside it on the hunt for the warmest place in his apartment.
As his laptop finally boots up and the comfort of his favourite companion, Xie Lian feels calm again, ready to distract himself by focusing on job applications all day. All the memories and feelings have been forgotten for the day, buried in his blankets until it will be time to dig them out again to go back to the land of the living.
The entire day goes by, and his phone doesn’t buzz a single time. No need to even have it at all.
Maybe he can cancel his plan to save some costs? But a job might call him…
Xie Lian sighs and runs a hand through his hair before groaning and practically banging his head against his desk. A small chirp from beside him makes him realize he scared Ruoye and before he can apologize, Ruoye vacates his previous spot to go sit along the windowsill. Ruoye paws at the window, then looks at Xie Lian.
“Good thinking, Ruoye.” Xie Lian stands and walks to the window, thinking that his cat really can understand him. Looking at the time, his eyebrows shoot up because there was no way he just spent nine hours still in front of his computer.
Of course Ruoye wants him to go outside! Xie Lian was so focused on his job applications he almost forgot about his plans to go for a walk in the evening!
“I’ll be back soon, Ruoye.” he kisses his companion goodbye and Ruoye makes no fuss, simply curling into a ball on the windowsill.
Xie Lian bundles himself up, and checks to make sure he has his keys, wallet, scarf, mittens…he feels as though he’s forgetting something, but he can’t imagine what…
“Oh, I’m sure it’s not too important….I won’t be long anyways,” he mutters to himself, a bit too tired to put in the effort to figure it out anyways. If it really was important, he would remember what it was!
With one final check around his apartment, Xie Lian steps out, looking forward to a breath of fresh air after feeling like the four walls were closing in on him.
The snow is thick enough that Xie Lian’s boots crunch in it as he makes his trek downtown. Or, the equivalent of such except in small-town terms. Perhaps still downtown, but only with a main street …? He should really learn these things, if he plans on living here forever. And it’s already been five years …
Shaking the thought out of his head because Xie Lian does not want to think about his situation too deeply otherwise he might end up simply flopping over in the snow and laying there, he tightens his scarf and brings it up over his nose because it is really cold.
Most normal people would not be out in such weather, but Xie Lian was far from everyone else’s idea of normal.
After nine hours in front of a screen, the fresh air brings a sweet relief to his lungs. He already feels lighter, despite being bundled up in the warmest (and, well, only ) sweater he had. The gentle cascade of snowflakes tickle his nose as they fall from the sky, keeping him in the present. He dares not want to wander back to the past.
That’s the most important thing to remember: to keep moving forward. That’s all he can do.
Tucking his scarf tighter around his neck, Xie Lian’s pace slows as his vision is engulfed by bright lights of red’s, green’s, silvers and golds. The radiant colours reflect against the white of the snow and brighten the black sky, the stars not even able to be seen through the cascade of colours.
Once he makes it to the main street, he stops in awe at the dazzling spectacle before him.
The Christmas Market ... I had forgotten all about it, he thinks to himself.
While the stalls were clearly still being set up, all the extra decorations, lights, and sculptures had been prepared in advance. String lights hang in a canopy strung from each lamppost across the way in the shapes of stars and snowflakes, lit in a radiant colour scheme of red, gold, and white.
Along the main pathway, merchants were making the final touches to their booths. Chatter fills the air as Xie Lian takes in the business of the evening, and even if he was by himself, simply just being here makes him feel less alone.
Xie Lian walks down the open stretch, watching the sellers and other night-time wanderers fondly. How lovely, to see the town come together like this. Despite living here for five years, he somehow always forgets that the Christmas Market is a thing.
One stall catches his attention, and he stops off to the side just behind a pine tree to observe.
This stall was being set up by a man with braided-black hair and a kind face, one that was likely handsome but easily lost in a crowd. His outfit was rather plain, too, a nice purple jacket fitted with simple black pants. He was placing small display easels along each rack, but neither the man nor the easels were what caught Xie Lian’s attention.
It was that at this very stall, Xie Lian could see extremely small threads of magic.
Since losing his own, Xie Lian did not try to scout out magic where he could. When he was one of the most skilled mages around, he could read the woven threads and colours of the magic flowing through the air without a second glance. When he lost his, he spent weeks scraping the air for each minuscule piece he could find to possibly even trigger his own even if it was the tiniest bit.
This magic scraping, unfortunately, is ill-received by many a mage, and thus, one day when he was caught, he had a … rather unpleasant breakdown which he does not want nor like to think about, and from that day on, his magic was shackled completely.
In this town, magic was relatively common and was recommended for those who had magic but lost it, couldn’t use it, or simply needed a better flow for their magic to work properly. It was a centre town with a large natural thread: which meant that the magic flow was stronger and more prevalent.
Despite that, Xie Lian still hasn’t seen magic so obvious since he had moved here. Whoever was the owner of this still must be a skilled mage indeed! He will just have to come back tomorrow during the official opening to check it out. Even if thinking of magic still hurts, Xie Lian finds intrigue in even the smallest smidgen of magic he can still find. Especially since this one was right in his face!
Feeling a sense of melancholy at the magic flow that he still misses, Xie Lian takes one last fleeting glance at the stall before moving on.
It was a rather large market and Xie Lian will always be impressed by how much effort is consistently put into it. The ice sculptures are full of incredible detail, each one reflecting the array of lights and magic threads back onto the ground, making the snow-covered path look almost like a rainbow, dancing against the throngs of people strolling atop of it. Each tree is lit magnificently, too: large ornaments of different colours glow brightly, making the scenery have a bit of flare instead of just the usual reds and greens.
A red ornament catches his attention, and Xie Lian finds himself wandering over to take a closer look. This particular tree is adorned in red and silver, with tinsel spilling off the sides and the bulbs glowing as bright as the entire market itself. He takes a gloved hand and gently touches the ornament. It swings back and fourth, and he is pleasantly surprised to hear that it chimes with the breeze, too!
“This year, some of the merchants assisted with decorating the square. Organizers thought it would add “personal touch”. Not sure which stall belongs to the young lad who did this tree, though. Rather quiet boy, that one. Didn’t want to disturb him.”
Xie Lian jumps at the voice and finds himself grinning sheepishly. He follows the sound and realizes he somehow neglected to see a fully set-up booth right next to the tree. He was so enraptured by this beautiful tree that he didn’t even say hello!
“My sincerest apologies, I didn’t see you,” Xie Lian admits, and even bows a bit to show the kind woman he was truly sorry.
The woman was older with gray hair, but her face was youthful with a kind smile. She waves a hand as if to say “No big deal,” and beckons him closer. Xie Lian follows suit, and he quickly reads the sign and comes to the conclusion this was a drink stand.
“Don’t sweat it, kid. It’s easy to lose yourself in such Holiday magic, right?” The woman says, grabbing a cup and moving to one of the fancy machines behind her. “I did the one across the way, with the gold and white. What do you think?”
Xie Lian looks behind him, and his eyes sparkle in wonder at the other tree. It was just as well decorated as the other one, and Xie Lian thinks the colours of the two trees actually contrast quite nicely. It was almost as if they were done as a pair!
“It matches this one, almost,” Xie Lian observes, turning back to give this kind woman an honest compliment. “Just as beautiful! It is quite simply decorated, and the colours aren’t too in your face. It’s subtle and still cheerful.”
“I thought that some of the trees should try and match, at least, to have a bit of consistency,” she goes on, grabbing a bottle of whip cream and decorating the drink she just made with it. “The colours are nice, but some of them don’t go too well together.”
Xie Lian spots a bright green themed tree and a bright blue themed tree next to each other and silently agrees.
“Here,” the woman slides the drink towards him and he stares at it.
“Huh?” Xie Lian says stupidly, not even quite realizing the word coming out of his mouth. Catching himself, he flusters for a moment before grasping onto real words. “...For me?”
“Yes, on the house,” she pushes the cup closer, waiting for Xie Lian to take it.
He hesitates, moving to grab his wallet. “You are much too kind, but I really can’t. May I at least please pay you for such generosity?”
“It wouldn’t be generous if you paid me, kid. You look cold and like you could use it. Those bags under your eyes aren’t doing you any favours.Take the treat, and don’t work yourself too hard. You’re too young for that.”
Xie Lian blinks, staring down at the hot chocolate. The woman’s words hit him, and he tries not to think too hard about how obviously tired he looks. He really didn’t look .. that bad, did he? Maybe he should look into eye creams…
It’s silent while Xie Lian fights his inner battle on taking this drink from this kind stall-owner, and finally, he lets himself accept a rare act of kindness.
Xie Lian gratefully takes the hot chocolate and tries not to feel guilty about taking something for free. He feels he doesn’t deserve it, but he gets the feeling that this is the type of woman you don’t want to mess with and if she gives you something for free, you take it.
“Red and silver, white and gold, those colours go quite well together, don’t you think?” The woman does not acknowledge him taking the drink, only gazes fondly at the decorated trees. Xie Lian doesn’t blame her: they really were beautiful!
“They do, don’t they?” He agrees, giving the trees another look, because really, if any two trees were made to go together, he would think that it would be these two.
Calm settles over him and as Xie Lian turns to thank the kind woman and ask for her name, but to his surprise, the shutters are closed and she is nowhere to be seen.
Perhaps she had to attend to an urgent matter….?
Clutching the cocoa in his hands, Xie Lian feels warmer than he has all night. Even if he cannot catch her tonight, the market is on until after Christmas—he has plenty of time! He’ll just have to come back again, and thank her properly next time.
Hot chocolate in hand, Xie Lian is about to take a sip when a kid comes rushing past, knocking into him and sending him backwards. His drink spills all over him and as he tries to catch the cup before it falls to the ground, he loses his balance and trips over the leg of a bench and he prepares himself for the wet chill of snow that he is about to be covered in because he knows he is about to fall right into it.
Closing his eyes and accepting his fate, he braces himself—
Only for the chill he was expecting to never come at all. Instead, warmth envelopes him as strong hands grab onto his arms and pull him upright, steadying him.
“Are you alright?”
Xie Lian thinks he might be dreaming, or perhaps unconscious. Maybe he did fall into the snow and he has hypothermia or something causing him to hallucinate…
Because the stranger who caught him has the most beautiful voice that Xie Lian had ever heard.
It's low and husky, but genuine concern is laced within his tone. Somehow, it sounds both rough and soft, and Xie Lian desperately wants to hear it again.
Braving himself to open his eyes, Xie Lian does just that, and immediately freezes in place.
Of course the person with such a beautiful voice would be the hottest man that Xie Lian has ever laid eyes upon!
He is taller than Xie Lian by a head, with black hair that comes about to his shoulders in an unkempt and messy style that suits his face. On his right side, a part of his hair is braided with red string, and at the end lay a small bead of the same colour. On that same side, over his eye, he wears a white eyepatch, which contrasts nicely against his quite pale skin. His eyebrow above the eyepatch is pierced with a silver stud that stands out nicely against his beautiful face.
His clothes are striking, too: a brilliant red overcoat with a very tight black knit turtleneck underneath, which did a very nice job emphasizing the stranger’s waist. His boots are quite fancy, black with silver adornments that looked like butterflies chiming against the light breeze. Xie Lian realizes he has matching butterfly jewelry on his neck and rings, too. Whoever this man is, he knows how to style himself to showcase his attractiveness and make anyone stop dead in the streets to be captivated by his presence…
“Gege?”
The nickname breaks out of him out of his stupor. Xie Lian’s mind and heart are both racing in a million different directions. What was his life? Getting laid off from his job, getting barrelled into by a kid several feet shorter than him, giving himself possibly first-degree burns and looking an absolute fool in front of such an incredibly handsome man seeing him in such a state?
This is why Xie Lian believes in luck and thus bad luck, because there really could be no other explanation.
Xie Lian is not sure if it’s the cold, the hot chocolate staining his coat and sweater underneath or the handsome stranger’s concerned gaze, but every single coherent thought gets lodged in his throat as he tries to speak.
Thus, what does end up leaving his mouth is a repetition of the exact same phrase that this stranger had just called him. “Gege….?”
He winces when that lands in the air between them. Oh, he really should have stayed inside today!
As if Xie Lian isn’t flustered enough already, this kind man chuckles, and could this man be any more attractive? Xie Lian wants to melt into the snow and never leave.
“Apologies. You seem older than me, and I do not know your name—thus, I thought ‘Gege’ was a good fit. If you like, I can call you something else …?”
Xie Lian flushes as he realizes he really likes how that nickname sounds coming from this handsome stranger’s mouth. He wonders what his actual name would sound like in that beautiful cadence …
What was wrong with him! He had not even known this man for five minutes and here Xie Lian was, stumbling over his words and turning tomato red at his mere attention. Maybe this was a sign that he should leave the house more … but then things like this would keep happening.
Quite the conundrum, really.
Steeling himself, Xie Lian smiles, and decides to offer his hand. This man took time out of his evening to catch him from being a human snowman, so he should really repay that kindness by at least telling this man his name!
“Xie Lian,” he says, and tries very hard not to blush again when the stranger takes his hand. Even though Xie Lian is wearing mits—and the stranger’s hands are bare (isn’t he cold?), his touch feels warm. “Ah, thank you very much for that. It would have been quite embarrassing to fall into the snow like that, ha ha ha … I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time. But I would like to avoid adding to that list! So thank you.”
Xie Lian smiles wider as he keeps talking because oh, he really needs to shut up before he can’t stop!
Somehow, the stranger smiles just as wide as Xie Lian, and huffs out another laugh. Did he find Xie Lian’s rambling endearing?
No, that couldn’t be possible. He’s probably laughing because he was a fool. That’s what everyone always did.
Except, as he looks into this stranger's eye, their hands caught in a meeting and the air thick between them, Xie Lian somehow knows that this man was different. That he wasn’t laughing at Xie Lian’s pain. That he never would.
“Call me San Lang,” San Lang (What a lovely name!) offers. “It was no trouble at all. Even selfish, if I’m completely honest. How could I not come to such a beautiful stranger’s aid?”
If Xie Lian still had his hot chocolate, he would have dropped it all over again. “...Ah?”
“Sorry, that may have been too forward.” San Lang releases his hand and takes a step back, but Xie Lian subconsciously takes a step forward.
“Not at all!” Xie Lian exclaims, perhaps a bit too excitedly. He’s already made quite the fool of himself tonight and San Lang has not left yet. “It’s nice, actually. To have someone be direct like that.”
San Lang grins, and Xie Lian’s heart flips as he notices that two of his teeth are almost fang like. He’s never seen someone with that before! On San Lang, it was especially attractive.
“I’m glad you took it that way, Gege. It was an honour to meet a person like you tonight. I hope I did not disrupt your evening, granted, that reckless menace did so more than I did.”
Xie Lian is suddenly struck with fear that with San Lang’s sentence a goodbye was about to be next. He didn’t want to say farewell just yet!
Before he can think better of it, he grabs San Lang’s hand with his own and pulls him just a bit closer, the toes of their boots bumping against each other. “Wait!”
As San Lang’s eyebrows raise in surprise at Xie Lian’s forwardness, Xie Lian notices that this time, when their hands meet, a spark lights and jumps into the air, and a shock radiates through his hand.
Perhaps it was because he caught San Lang off guard. Perhaps it was Xie Lian’s own strong emotions and own desperation at refusing to let go of the one good thing that had happened to him in five years. The first person to stop and help him instead of glance his way and move on with their day.
No matter how much he speculates, he cannot land on one reason why when Xie Lian had grabbed San Lang’s hand, magic had crackled and sparked from San Lang’s hand and caused the air around them to become imbued with colour. It looks as though light pillars had shone down and illuminated the air around them. Xie Lian feels lighter and can see more clearly, and San Lang’s eye sparkles with the reflection of the colours swirling in front of them. All a tell tale sign of—
“Magic,” Xie Lian gasps, eyes immediately darting up to meet San Lang’s eye.
San Lang looks sheepish at Xie Lian’s declaration and clears his throat. “...Usually I have better control of it.”
A beat passes between them as Xie Lian is captivated by the array of colours that now reflect against the snow. It’s mostly red and white, he notices, but shades of purple, silver, pink and orange swirl through.
San Lang, apparently not able to take the silence, switches his almost stupefied expression to a lazy smirk. “Perhaps it’s your influence, Gege, that sparked it like this? Magic can flow freely when the mage is quite distracted.”
How many times is San Lang going to make him blush tonight! Especially when they’ve only known each other for barely even ten minutes!
Trying and failing to prevent his cheeks from turning red, Xie Lian turns his attention back to San Lang’s magic.
There were many types of magic in their world, and colour manipulation within the air was the sign of one who could use their magic to bring paintings or pictures to life. It was a type of life magic, and rather rare and hard to become proficient at. With the way San Lang’s colours swam, Xie Lian thinks he may be the most experienced life magic user he’s ever met.
Life magic has several sides, and Xie Lian is fighting an internal battle with himself to push back memories of when he could use his own life magic.
Pushing the feelings down as he always does, Xie Lian brings a hand and delicately caresses a magic thread. It is strong with well formed foundations, and simply from looking at it Xie Lian can tell San Lang would be able to pull it back in an instance.
“You can see it? You continue to fascinate me, Gege,” San Lang’s tone is teasing but does sound genuinely curious.
Xie Lian traces from one magic thread to another, all the way back down to San Lang’s hands. They are still quite warm despite being out in the cold, and now Xie Lian knows why. It was the magic flowing through his veins.
“Ah … yes. I am … was quite experienced,” Xie Lian corrects, the slip up definitely not gone unnoticed by San Lang. He looks to the ground as he continues. “I enjoy studying magic, and how to spot it. It’s quite interesting.”
Xie Lian feels a sense of melancholy fall over him, which is a shame when San Lang’s magic is so beautiful. He can’t help it, though. Because magic was a core part of a mages being, and when you had it taken away … it feels as though a part of you is missing.
It’s been so long. Shouldn’t he be over it by now?
A gentle squeeze to his hand brings Xie Lian back to the surface. He’s surprised at the soft gesture from San Lang. Even with the short time they’ve known each other, with all that Xie Lian felt with his magic and by his actions so far, he thinks that this San Lang is already someone special.
No matter what happens, I think I’ll always be an idealist … Xie Lian thinks to himself, because he always romanticizes everything, doesn’t he? Even when his past points in the opposite direction.
“Before you triggered my magic, Gege, I believe you wanted me to wait …?” San Lang changes the subject smoothly, and Xie Lian is grateful for it. He can clearly tell that magic is a difficult topic for Xie Lian, which was alarming in itself, since Xie Lian knows how to mask himself extraordinarily well.
Yet, San Lang can see beneath his carefully crafted veil after having just met. Was he becoming so burnt out that he no could no longer keep his emotions in check? He needs to work on that, if things were going to continue in the trajectory they were…
As he peers at San Lang from beneath his eyelashes, he can’t help but feel a faint shimmer of hope. Something he has not felt in a very long time.
Maybe San Lang was extremely perceptive. How else could he see through him so easily?
Was this another testament to everything he feels swimming in his chest for San Lang tonight, since his hands had first wrapped around Xie Lian’s arms in a steady grip?
Still, at the reminder of his previous flustering, Xie Lian feels a bit embarrassed. “I’m sorry, San Lang, that was a bit rude, grabbing your hand like that! I just didn’t want you to leave without me saying thank you.”
San Lang’s eye widens and was he … blushing? Had Xie Lian somehow made San Lang feel the same way that he currently did?
Xie Lian decides he will not think about that too hard or else he will think himself into an endless spiral. Instead, there is something within him that feels bold: a part of him that does not want the best night that he is having in almost five years end so soon.
“May I buy you dessert as a thank you? If you like dessert, of course!”
San Lang does not answer right away, still stuck in the same expression he had been before Xie Lian had asked him for dessert. Or, wait …
Oh, no. It sounded like Xie Lian had asked him on a date!
“Oh! I’m so sorry! We have only known each other for such little time, and I’m already making a fool of myself, when you’ve only been so kind to me.” Xie Lian fumbles, gesticulating wildly with his hands.
Realizing that he was making himself look even more foolish with his gesturing, he huffs out a breath and deposits his hands back to his sides. “What I wanted to do was say thank you. That’s all.”
San Lang gazes at him, and he looks so soft and beautiful against the falling snow. His messy hair blows gently against the wind, several snowflakes catching in his hair and making him practically shine. He looks radiant, Xie Lian thinks. He looks like someone Xie Lian does not want to let go of.
San Lang is someone that Xie Lian wants to know.
As San Lang’s piercing gaze pins Xie Lian to the spot, Xie Lian simply waits. That faint hope that he still feels, that he doesn’t want to let go of because he’s lost it so much within the past five years: Xie Lian does not want to lose it just yet.
Finally, San Lang’s lips turn upwards, and the smile reaches his eye. A sparkle reflects upon the iris, and Xie Lian cannot tell if it is because of the wisps of his magic still threaded through the air, a reflection of the light dancing on the snow, or if it was a brief moment of excitement at Xie Lian’s gratitude.
“It can be a date if you would like it to be, Gege?” San Lang suggests, never once breaking eye contact with Xie Lian.
Xie Lian chokes on air at San Lang’s words. He did not expect that!
Once he catches his breath, Xie Lian takes a minute to wrap his head around that. A date? After the impression he’d made of himself? San Lang would not mind the idea of going on a date?
If Xie Lian thinks about that too hard, he will send himself into a stupor that he fears he will never escape. He counts to three in his head and pushes back all thoughts relating to the idea of any date, and decides to take a pragmatic approach.
Even though…there is a part of Xie Lian that feels as should jump at this chance. If he believes in luck, good and bad, maybe there's a part of him that believes in chance meetings, too?
Xie Lian is not sure why he is feeling so brave tonight. Maybe it was the frustration of another day stuck in his frigid apartment applying to jobs he knows will only last for three months tops. Maybe it was San Lang’s magic reminding him what it was to feel so light again.
Maybe, it was San Lang’s selfless act of kindness of catching a stranger covered in hot chocolate and saving him from falling face first into the snow, and still spoke with him. He hadn’t left Xie Lian and told him to be more careful. San Lang had asked if Xie Lian was alright, and he did not leave his side.
Xie Lian does not want him to. With San Lang, everything already feels easier. He does not remember the last time he feels as though he had clicked with someone so strongly, even if he had made a bit of a fool of himself with his blushing and flustering.
Xie Lian settles on his decision.
“How about…” Xie Lian twists his hands together to try to control his nerves, because it really has been a long time since he has been so vocal about what he wants.
Somehow with San Lang, it already feels like he can be.
“You let me take you for dessert as a thank you, and see where the night takes us?” Xie Lian offers. Still feeling rather brave, he reaches his hand back to San Lang, waiting for him to take it.
San Lang does not take his hand right away. He hesitates and looks Xie Lian up and down, frowning. Before Xie Lian can ask, San Lang moves behind him, not daring to turn his head.
San Lang is standing so close he can feel his warm breath tickle his neck.
“However, one thing …” San Lang’s boots crunch in the snow as he shifts, and Xie Lian hears the rustle of fabric before something soft yet heavy lands on his shoulders. “Your coat is still stained. Take mine.”
Xie Lian freezes in place at San Lang’s gesture.
Why was he being so kind? If he knew anything about Xie Lian, he would know that he didn’t deserve it…
“I can’t!” Xie Lian exclaims, ready to take off San Lang’s jacket to return it. But San Lang catches his hands before he can, and firmly grasps his shoulders, ensuring the jacket stays put.
“Why not?” San Lang rebukes, but he doesn’t sound mad. More curious, than anything. “I have plenty more. This is just one of many.”
Xie Lian decides to ignore the latter part of that for now, and instead looks at San Lang with a frown. “I…you just met me. And you’re being so wonderful. But .. you barely know me.”
“So?” San Lang says, that lazy smile seemingly ever-present on his face. “That only means we can get to know each other better?”
This man keeps finding new ways to send Xie Lian into a stupor all over again! He’s never felt like this with anyone before. What exactly was it about San Lang that Xie Lian felt so attuned to already?
Before he can send himself into a frenzy trying to answer that question, Xie Lian takes that courage he’s felt all night with San Lang, and taps into it once again.
“I would like that very much.” Xie Lian finds himself smiling as he gives in to what he wants for once. It feels incredibly good to say it—and he feels good saying it, too! He finds himself smiling, and he doesn’t remember the last time he had felt so … happy.
Chest fluttering, Xie Lian stuns (again!) as Hua Cheng snakes his hand into Xie Lian’s, and despite mittens preventing their skin from touching, somehow, the hold still feels incredibly warm.
“Shall we?” San Lang’s grin is radiant, even more so than the twinkling lights of the decor that span across the market.
Grinning silly himself, Xie Lian doesn’t even feel embarrassed that he was blushing a bit. “You lead the way.”
San Lang does just that, and for some reason, Xie Lian feels that he already wants to follow San Lang anywhere.
This feeling of excitement, hope, mixed with a flurry of other dizzying emotions, are ones Xie Lian holds on to just as tightly as he is holding San Lang’s hand.
Xie Lian of all people knows how fleeting these feelings can be: so he will let himself have this one night. Even if it is only one: Xie Lian is going to let himself savor it.
If not only for himself, for San Lang: because he took time out of his night to extend such kindness to Xie Lian, so Xie Lian will be damned if he does not give the same in return.