Chapter Text
No matter how early the two had woken up before the sunrise. No matter how briskly they walked. No matter how many shortcuts taken, birds watched, and rocks left unturned — Harding had accepted she would be set to take full blame for the snail’s pace she and the qunari were walking. Even with the sun as high as it was, it felt like they had been at this for ages. It didn’t dissuade the joyous and almost whimsical grin on dwarven woman’s face, but she still felt a little guilty making the other stop and go for every little plant Harding had forgotten about and wanted to check in on.
“You can ride on my horns.” Taash had suggested.
The stout scout refused. Most of the appeal was relishing the past steps in her nostalgic path, having walked this exact terrain countless times before. Each time Harding traveled it, it seemed to take a bit longer for her each time. Maybe this meant she continued to grow a fondness for the little things in life.
“Oooh! You’ve grown so big!” Harding cooed at a Vandal Aria. From where there had only been one small flower breaking from the soil, was a bouquet worthy bunch. This was the only place Harding knew they were growing, given it was so incredibly difficult to nourish. Finicky and fragile. Harding had left for the Inquisition before becoming aware of the plant’s existence, a sudden recollection while studying dusty encyclopedias in the library at the stronghold.
Taash tapped their foot, pushing up on their toes to quickly adjust the pack hanging from their back. With this sun and the load, Taash was glad they had switched out of their usual armor and into something a bit lighter.
This trip was supposed to be slow. A long boring summer with nothing to do and if the qunari was lucky, plenty of enthusiastic “nothing” in between. Taash had to remind themselves to reign in their impatience. To enjoy the small things.
Besides, Harding did look adorable fussing over plants like that. It had been such a long journey to get here. To have this freedom. To not be worrying that every day, every task and endeavor, was the last. Even the days of respite at the Lighthouse had an overwhelming sense of dread over them.
“Okay, I’m done!” Harding jogged up to where Taash was, almost giddy. “We’re really not that far! We’ll get there by lunch.”
“Okay…” Taash’s response was a little more deadpan than she expected.
“Hey…what’s the matter Taash?”
“I haven’t been here before. To Ferelden I mean. I’ve never met your mom before. The letters were nice. This feels… different.” Taash took a short breath, doing their best to calm down their heartbeat which had been gradually picking up its pace since morning.
“Are you afraid of a little old woman?” Harding clucked. “Ma’ is going to love you! I’ve told her a lot about you. Trust me, she’ll see you, give you a big hug, scold you for not having enough to eat, and then stuff your stomach full until you can’t walk.”
“I don’t…” Taash sighed. “It’s fine. Really. I’m looking forward to this. To you. To—” There was hesitation in Taash’s voice. “-us.”
“Taash.” Harding’s heart softened. “You’re such a softie when you want to be.”
“No! I mean— ugh.” Taash bit their tongue. “There are some plants over there. You should go look at them. You’re pretty when you’re looking at plants.”
“What if I said I’d rather be looking at you? And don’t try to distract me.”
“I’d say you should prove it. And I’m not.”
“Somehow, I don’t believe that.”
If Taash didn’t want to talk, they weren’t going to talk. At least for the moment Harding knew better than to pressure them when they were mulling over whatever creeping feeling was getting stuck. The qunari was willing to be an open book but needed space to wipe the dust off the cover and settle into a cozy chair. Taash needed everything to be just right.
A few moments passed before Harding let out a short gasp, causing her partner to jump. The scouts gaze was pulled to the edges of the mountain-way and if she squinted hard enough, she could catch dashes of vibrant color peeking through the breaks in the tree trunks.
Taash sighed, nodding - a sign for Harding to lead the way. Once they arrived, the smell hit Taash like a punch. Pleasant. It was overwhelmingly sweet. It was hard for Taash to tell when the scent of the flowers ended and where Harding began. Flowers were everywhere. They couldn’t tell you what they all were, but many of them were familiar. Taash had seen many of these types of flowers in markets and on the travels with Rook, but this was… something else. The sharpness and richness of the color in the petals. The thickness of the stems. There was barely any grass visible as the sheer amount of the flowers overwhelmed the rest of the landscape.
Harding already had taken to the dirt, kneeling down in the flowers that almost reached her height. Taash stood just at the clearing’s edge, content with relishing in the smell of the flowers and the sight of their lover. Much better than being stuck in their own thoughts about Gods and families. More focused on how cute Harding’s rear looked in her casual armor.
After a few minutes had passed, Harding picking a few flowers here and there— Taash heard a strange sound. One that they had heard only a few times before. When was that? When they were little? It suddenly brought back a memory of walking markets with their mother. Hand in hand until rushing off to a stall where a merchant was animatedly negotiating a price with a customer who didn’t seem terribly excited about the transaction. Taash had been pulled back by their mother who had been the one to notice the sudden look of frustration mixed with annoyance at the potential loss of sale if Taash had actually reached out to pet th—
“Baaaaa.”
Taash’s ears perked up as they watched Harding pull her attention from the tulip she had been fiddling with.
“That bleat sounded familiar.” Harding said slow slowly. Her back straightened, a tell she was now alert. Focused. Ready.
“Something else is there too.” Taash muttered, nostrils flaring. Something smelled dirty. Like an old shirt one would wear in the cold months. The other smelled like it had been swimming in mud. It smelled like dried blood. Smells that Taash knew all to well. Desperation. Hunger.
The bleat was more panicked this time. Consistent. Then, a loud growl broke out above it. Dominating. Threatening.
Before Taash could move, Harding had already sprinted in the direction of the noises. Pushing aside a few wayward thorny branches, both spotted a wolf slowly encroaching in on it’s prey.
“Mary!” Harding called, immediately recognizing the livestock as one of her own. “Why are you even out this far?”
“Wait. You know the sheep?” Taash placed a hand on a tree trunk to stabilize themselves.
“She’s one of the sheep from Ma’s flock. She also has a real bad habit of sneaking away when she can.” Harding sighed. “Probably why she’s my favorite.”
That was all Taash needed to hear.
“HEY!” Taash called out. The wolf darted it’s head around to peek at the intruders then quickly back to the sheep who hadn’t taken advantage of the opportunity to escape.
Harding had already notched an arrow in her bow. The ordeal was similar to the story Harding had told Taash somewhere on the Rivaini Coast. The hesitation bringing more death than what she wanted. Harding didn’t need to see more death. The private promise she had made to herself to refrain from any sort of killing unless absolutely necessary was already about to be broken.
Jaw clenched, Harding’s fingertips itched. Before she took the breath, before her heatbeat had finished- her vision was blocked. Taash had started moving forward and towards the wolf aggressively who must have thought that the giant hulking creature wanted it’s dinner. Attention immediately turning towards the qunari, the wolf lunged, hind legs sending its maw straight for Taash’s throat.
“Taash—!”
Harding had seen Taash fight creatures that made the wolf look like an ant. The Fangscorcher. The Juggernaught. Darkspawn and ogres who’s roars could be heard for miles and attacks that could tear through the body like ribbon.
Taash had halted the wolf’s attack and caught the scruff of the wolf’s neck what looked like thin air. Shocked, the wolf started gnashing its maw, whimpering and whining. The quinari’s reach was too long for the wolf to get a good swipe and it simply scrambled in mid air.
Taash let out a growl that immediately challenged the wolf’s false bravado. Ears slanting back against its head, Taash shook their hand, the wolf along with it. “NO. Bad. Dog. Leave the poor sheep alone. Understand?”
The wolf stared blankly being brought to just out of biting distance from Taash’s face.
“HEY. Enough. Before I have you for dinner.” Taash turned their gaze to their left and spit out a small ball of flames in their, minding the trees around them.
The wolfs’ whines got louder and instead of trying to get a leg up on the qunari, was now trying to get away. With one gentle toss, the wolf landed several feet away, landing unceremoniously on the ground. It sprinted off, surrendering and deciding the sheep wasn't worth the effort. The forest was ripe with rabbits and it was the season for them to be multiplying in abundance.
“Did-did you just growl at the wolf and throw it?”
“Yep. Save your arrow. I’ll handle it if he comes back.”
“Taash! I—” Harding wasn’t really sure what to say, both feeling relief that the situation had been handled so easily and effortlessly and frustration that she hadn’t taken the shot when she should have. “You just THREW a wolf! Like it was nothing!”
“Oh. Was that wrong? I thought you didn’t want to kill anything for a while. I guess I could have let you take the shot. Sorry.”
“No! That's not it! It’s just…” Another bleat derailed the scout’s thought process. The sheep seemed to be struggling, panicking, having gotten itself stuck in a thorn bush. “Never mind… Thank you, Taash.”
Harding made her way over to the sheep. A gentle tug at the wool freed its head. It’s eyes suddenly glazed over into one of familiarity as it nuzzled looking for comfort in the dwarf’s hand. “You’re always the one to go get yourself lost, aren’t you?” Her words leaving her lip s in a soft whisper.
—
“You’re right.”
“Hmm?”
Taash cleared their throat. “You’re right. I was thinking about stuff. Earlier.”
“Uh-huh. And do you want to talk about it?”
Taash grunted. “No. Well. I guess. With you.” Taash nudged the sheep to keep moving forward with their foot, not breaking their stride. It was easier throwing the wolf than it was to get out the feelings stuck in their throat.“I’m nervous.”
“About meeting my Ma’? I promise she isn’t going to bite. I certainly didn’t learn that from her.”
That earned a chuckle from the qunari before they continued. “I’m serious. What if your Tam-mother doesn’t like me? How many qunari…like me can she know?”
“You’re selling yourself shorter than I am here, Taash. My Ma’ loves everyone. And the ones I lo-” Harding coughed into her hand, waiting for the sudden and fleeting wave of nervousness to pass. “She loves the ones I adore even more.”
It was Harding’s turn to nudge the sheep again. They were all so close to home and the flock was making sure that they all stopped and smelled the roses.
“You don’t need to worry about a thing! Why, when I tell her about how you just threw a wolf to save Mary like that, she’ll probably demand I marry you.”
Taash’s pace stuttered for a flickering moment. Mary decided to stop again and start gnawing on a piece of long horsetail weed. If Taash hadn’t been careful, they would have tripped over her. Harding walked over to her and scratched behind Mary’s ears, getting lost in her own thoughts again.
“Lace…”
“Sorry! I was just thinking about you throwing that wolf again. You…you don’t think you could throw me like that, do you? I mean. That…that was incredibly hot. Actually—”Harding waved her hand up at Taash, signaling them to crouch down to her level.
“You want me to throw you?” Taash questioned squatting low enough where Harding didn’t have to crank their head back as high to look at them. “I’ve done that before. Remember? That time when we left Neve and Rook in Minrathous? And snuck back to the Lighthouse? We had to dodge being seen by Manfred like the Venetori.”
Harding’s laughter softened Taash’s breath and brought a welcome distraction to the thoughts they still weren’t comfortable with acknowledging.
“I’m really looking forward to this. Being home. Seeing Ma’. You. Just…peace.” Harding bit her lip before taking a slow breath. “It really feels like it’s been years since we’ve been gifted that. Peace.”
“You deserve it. Peace. I mean.”
“Silly. As if you don’t. You’ve been through so much these past months. the days here and there where we were able to rest were fun, but is it really rest when in the back of your head, all you can think about it the end of the world?”
“But you’re here now. And the world isn’t ending.” Taash wrapped an arm around Harding’s upper back and pulled her closer, forgetting about the sheep. Forgetting about the heat. Forgetting about the world. Too exhausting. If there was going to be exhaustion, it was only going to be for a really good reason.
“No. No it’s not, is it?”
“Not if I have anything to say about it. Any world that you’re in I’ll make sure stays around.”
Harding gripped the collar of Taash’s shirt, burying her face in the nape of their neck. Taash felt warm breathe drift across their shoulder and tickle their ear. “Thank you, Taash.”
Taash grunted. “You smell good. Really good.” Taash inhaled deeply. “You smell like…nug bacon?”
Harding pulled her face back for a moment. “Nug bacon?…Oh!” Harding motioned to stand but not before bringing in Taash for a quick kiss.
“You ready to see home?”
—
When Harding,Taash, and Mary reached the farm’s edge, Taash pulled Harding’s pack from her back, giving her freedom of movement.
Mary, knowing where she was and settling into familiarity moseyed on into the familiar grassy terrain, moving towards the figure near the gated edge the rest of its bretheren grazed.
“Ma!”
An older woman, about fifty or so odd summers old crooked her head over her shoulder. She had been pulling at some weeds from a nearly immaculate flower bed in front of the small cottage. The headband keeping the short pepper bangs away from her green eyes was damp.
“…Lace?”
In all the years she had spent raising her, alongside a man she once loved and eventually raised alone, she never tired of seeing her daughter’s quick pace hurry towards her. The elder barely had time to wipe her hands on her worn tan pants before being tackled by her spitting image.
“Well, well, Lace Harding. Looks like you got lost again and found your way back home.”
The sentiment was one that brought a floodgate of sobs and cherished memories from a a not so distant time. Lace couldn’t stop them. It was a mix of sadness, joyous happiness, and genuine fear. So much had been at risk while fighting the Gods and Solas. She didn’t think she would be able to embrace her mother like this again. The one thing that grounded her more than The Stone itself.
“I’m sorry! I don’t know why I’m crying like this!”
“Silly girl, you DO know, but you don’t have to reason with it.” The woman pulled a small cloth out of her shirt pocket and gently dabbed Lace’s face with it. “I’m happy you’re home. Maybe this time you can stay longer than a cow’s sneeze.”
More choked sobs, this time through fits of laughter.
—
There was something comforting about Lace’s openhearted sobs. Something unsettling, but they didn’t want ruminate on the reasons why at the moment.
Taash tapped their foot into the dirt again. This sort of reunion. Had they ever been this happy to see their Tama when they returned home? There were times when they would come home to a warm meal, but such a joyous welcome? A hug? It seemed…nice. Warm. Welcoming. Lace belonged somewhere. She had purpose and a reason to be here.
Was this what most families were like?
The tip of Taash’s mouth twitched and they could feel their throat dry up again. Their heartbeat quickened and they had to think about their breathing to settle down. They still hadn’t moved from their spot at the edge of the farm, not wanting to interrupt. Being afraid to interrupt? Probably some kind of combination of the two.
“You stand over there long enough, and the trees will get jealous!” The woman patted her daughter on the shoulders before gently moving her to the side to take a few steps forward, closing the distance between her and the qunari.
“Uhm. Hey. Hi. Ms. Harding.” Taash had rehearsed an entire greeting in their head but all those planned words had just flown away like the dragons they were so used to hunting. In fact, hunting dragons felt easier than this.
“Taash. Come here.”
Taash lowered the packs they had forgotten they were holding and closed the gap between them. Fear wasn’t the right word for how they were feeling, now getting a good look at the woman who had raised the woman that they were now with. This woman exuded an air of wisdom that reminded them of Shathann. Something about her presence demanded that she be respected. Maybe intimidation was the word. Not something they would ever want to admit to themselves.
“You know Lace wouldn’t pipe down about you. In the letters OR the time she decided to visit.”
“Oh.” Taash’s shoulders tensed. Their heartbeat quickened, at least for a better reason this time. “She always talked about you too. To everyone. We all wanted you to visit. We just didn’t think it would be…safe.” Why would they say that? Taash knew they were saying something off. Not right for the moment.
“Taash. Take a knee.” Taash obeyed and was rewarded with an embrace that could have moved them to tears if they weren’t so well practiced at guarding themselves. There was a moments hesitation before Taash brought one arm up to embrace the mother back.
“It’s so nice to see you in the flesh. And Lace wasn’t holding back any punches! I see why she got noodle-legged over you! She always did like the strong ones that looked like they could throw her over their shoulder.”
“Ma! Please!”Harding exclaimed, looking mortified.
“Oh hush, Lace!” Ma moved from her embrace and put her arm around Taash’s neck. “I’m serious you know. She spent one entire page of a letter talking about you helping…Davrin was it? Helping him move a bunch of wood or something or other. She went on and on about how much she had never seen a qunari as strong as you and-”
Lace’s face flushed red as she failed an attempt to pull her mother away. “ALRIGHT Ma! We get it. Maybe you should let them settle in a bit before talking their ear off?” Oh hush.” Ma’ retorted, pinching Taash’s cheek. “Taash doesn’t mind. Do you Taash?”
Taash shook their head, a grin escaping. “Nope.”
“See, Lace? See Taash? What I have to put up with?” Ma’ waved Lace over who was doing her best to not let her own smile break through. Once there she was pulled into a large embrace of the three of them.
Lace had caught it the break in Ma’s voice. The glimpse of sadness mixed with relief in her smile. Lace had to fight back the creeping feeling of guilt. Knowing that full well— she could have been the one sent to distract the Venatori. She could have been the one to make a last stand. To give the ultimate sacrifice. To be the one that did what needed to be done. The thought of leaving her mother behind without a goodbye—
“Promise me you’ll both make it up to me by staying a while…”
Lace’s expression softened. “You can count on that, Ma.”
Taash grunted softly.
“Well then. You two must be hungry. I have on a pot of nug bacon chowder—”
“With the corn? And cheese to put on top?”
“Lace. I’m your mother. I was the one who told you about that in the first place. Taash, tell me, did Lace end up cooking for everyone back at the Lighthouse?”
“Sometimes.”
Ma’ patted Taash’s shoulder. “I am so sorry.”
“Hey! I’ll have you know everyone loved my yam and jam slams! Davrin even asked for seconds.”
Taash didn’t have the heart to mention that one and a half of those sandwiches went to Assan.