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“I’m fine,” Tim huffs as he aggressively swings the hotel room door open.
“I’m sure you are…” Lucy seemingly agrees, following behind him. She often forgets how stubborn her coworker can be at times. “But I was given the instruction to get you out of there and dress your wounds, so that’s what I’m going to do.”
Lucy Chen would never dream of speaking this harshly to any other police officer in the Mid-Wilshire division, but Tim wasn’t just any other police officer. Tim Bradford didn’t like to be cared for or doted on, especially by someone in his chain of command.
Though, their relationship is anything but professional, and it proves hard to ignore at times. So, Lucy chooses to approach his anger with caution and kindness.
“Trust me, I know you don’t need saving,” she assures him gently, “but you have to let me help you.”
While others would say quite the opposite, Lucy knows that Tim can be quite fragile at times. He doesn’t mean any harm, but he’s been an innate protector his entire life: he protected his family from his father, his soldiers during war, and his fellow officers in the line of duty. To be in need of help… well, Tim wasn’t super fond of it, to say the least.
“Fine,” he eventually agrees. “But I'm barely injured.”
God, this man is relentless, Lucy thinks to herself. Unfortunately, the chuckle she lets out is not to herself, but rather to Tim as well.
“Lucy, are you laughing at me?” he asks, an accusatory tone lining his already-irritated voice.
“I’m sorry,” she clears her throat, though the smile painted on her face fails to subside. “It’s just that… you’re kinda ridiculous, did you know that?”
“Excuse me?”
“You just got thrown around, there are cuts and bruises all over your body. Yet, you won’t let me put so much as one bandage on you without a fight? You haven’t changed…”
“Is that a bad thing?” Tim raises his eyebrows with suspicion, yet playfully.
“No, no, not at all!” She pauses and bites her lip, “I missed having to put up a fight with you.”
Truth be told, Tim had been longing for things to feel like normal with Lucy again, and they were finally starting to. When Grey had appointed her as a temporary T.O., he thought that she would come running to him for tips and advice. Instead, she did not hesitate to start a running bet with him and his new rookie.
And while Tim enjoys watching rookies wash out of the program, he was sad to see Seth go, because it meant that he and Lucy returned to the longing stares and awkward pleasantries.
“Yeah, yeah, let’s just…” he shakes his head, “let’s just do this and get out of here.”
“Okayyy,” Lucy sings as she twists around to grab the first-aid kit. She shuffles some objects around until she lands on ointment and some bandages. She turns around, and-
OH.
“Sorry, sorry!” she yelps, quickly turning back around with closed eyes.
“For what?” A confused Tim asks as she stands up, throwing his shirt onto the bed next to him.
“I didn’t realize you were changing,” she mumbles sheepishly, a red hue taking over her cheeks.
“I’m not,” he scoffs. “The cuts are on my back.”
“Oh. My. God.” Lucy is horrified. Less than 4 months ago she had been seeing Tim shirtless almost every single night. But now, the walls that she once helped crumble were built back up again, and she had unfortunately gotten used to it. Now, what was once comfort had turned to awkwardness.
“Okay, okay, just forget that happened,” she pleads. Though, Tim can’t get her uncomfort out of his mind. He missed when he and Lucy shared everything with each other, when nothing was ever too much. He hated that she was no longer at ease when she was alone with him.
“I- it’s fine,” Tim brushes it off, softening his expression. He gazes at Lucy, whose eyes are still a little bit wide, and cheeks a little bit pink. The hotel lamp beside her lights up her face at the perfect angle, illuminating the sparse freckles scattered against her glossy skin.
Tim hadn’t forgotten how beautiful Lucy was, how she managed to look perfect from every single angle. He traces her identically curated curls down, which sit against the fabric of a dark ballroom gown. Her hands rest on her hips, a bandaid held in between her fingers as she stares down at her starstruck coworker.
“Is something wrong?” She asks, concerned. “Did you fall on your head? Maybe you have a concussion or-” she rambles on.
“I’m fine,” Tim reassures her as he stands up. They’re a foot apart, at most, the most they’ve been in months.
“Okay, um…” Lucy pauses, unable to utter another word. Instead, she simply holds up the bandage sitting between her fingers.
Though, Tim’s eyes fall to the delicate hands holding the bandaid. Rings decorate her soft fingers, and her nails are painted to match the dress she’s wearing. These same hands once held his body in them, and he hasn’t forgotten what that feels like, no matter how many times he wished the longing away.
Without a second thought, Tim reaches his hand out and brushes it against Lucy’s skin, trailing down her hand until he reaches the mesh fabric wrapped around her forearm.
“Lucy,” he whispers as he drops his hand back at his side. He looks into her eyes, only to find the same pain and longing he saw in his own every single morning.
There weren’t enough words in the English dictionary to convey the hunger he felt, not in his stomach, but rather in his heart. He wants to reach across and grab onto Lucy’s waist, pulling her in until their bodies are one. He wants to taste her spit, to feel her warm breath on his lips once again.
“We shouldn’t,” Lucy mutters quietly as Tim steps towards her.
“I know.”
But neither of them move away. Neither of them diminish the glint of hope in their eyes, the undeniable longing in their hearts.
“I know,” Tim carefully repeats, but this time he steps closer. He gently places his shaking hand on Lucy’s face which is mere inches away.
Lucy sways on the ball of her foot, almost bridging the gap between their panting bodies. Beads of sweat form on her forehead as she looks up at her ex-boyfriend, the man who crushed her heart up into a million and one pieces just a few months ago.
She admits to herself that she’s still in love with Tim; that isn’t an unknown fact to anyone who knows her. It’s taking every ounce of strength she possesses to not give into the temptation at this moment. The man that she loves is standing right above her, waiting for her.
“Tim,” she whispers, but nothing comes after it. It's not a yes, but it's also not a no.
His hand moves down her face to her shoulder, and makes its way to her arm. Tim slowly re-explores her though she hasn’t changed, not one bit. And for that, he’s incredibly grateful,
“Tell me to stop, and I will,” he tells her without breaking eye contact. Lucy opens her mouth to say something, but shuts it almost immediately.
Tim eventually reaches her hand and interlaces their fingers once again, connecting them.
“I’m scared,” Lucy eventually manages. Her heart beats out of her chest, though her grip on Tim’s hand tightens. Tim has been by her side through the scariest experiences of her life; he’s picked up her pieces and put her right back together. Except, every version of herself molded by Tim is better than the one that preceded it. His firmness instilled strength in her.
“Me too.” Similarly, Lucy has changed Tim in ways he never could have imagined. Her kind heart and innate goodness opened him up to a world of positivity and light, something he never thought was attainable. Sure, his life had been on the line more times than he could count in the line of duty. But nothing made his heart jump more than Lucy.
“Just say the word,” he reiterates, worried that he’s pushing her too far. “Just say the word and I‘ll-”
But the rest of his words are muffled by Lucy’s warm lips, which have suddenly been placed on top of his.“Shut up,” she mutters into him, closing her eyes as she rebuilds a connection once tragically lost.
God, he’s missed her. The way her younger swipes across his lips, her hand pressed against his cheek, he missed it.
Lucy has never had a kiss returned with such desperation, such desire before in her life. It feels different than it did before, it’s lost its ease and familiarity. But… she doesn’t hate it.
“You never know how much something means to you until it’s gone.”
Of course Lucy and Tim appreciated each other, they always have. But they had grown so accustomed to each other that they had forgotten what life apart was like. It was easy for routine experiences to lose their value.
But this… this kiss proves to Lucy that there is so much more to learn and discover. Relationships change, and that’s a good thing. On the outside, their relationship was perfect. But if it truly was perfect, it wouldn’t have crumbled too easily at the slightest disruption.
Tim’s inexplicable desperation validates Lucy; she finally relaxes into it. She allows herself to be fully immersed in the love being thrown at her from every angle: Tim’s lips on her own, his hands on her back. Because she deserves to be yearned for, to be appreciated in every single capacity.
And they know that a kiss won’t fix their deep rooted issues, but it proves that there is something worth fighting for, and that’s enough for them.