Chapter Text
It wasn't the first time Yuta caught himself spacing out that day but he was shocked out of his daze at the wetness on his cheeks. When his brain registered it as his own tears, the liquid gushed out even more.
"Ugh, what's wrong with me today?" Doyoung gave a brief glance over which turned into a concerned look.
"Hey, why are you crying? Do you feel sick?" Yuta shook his head between sniffles, not trusting his voice to work. He peered down at his wet hands resting on his lap, vision blurry with tears.
After a beat of silence, Yuta replied, "It's nothing." But, Doyoung saw through his lie too easily.
"It doesn't look like nothing to me." Then came his soft sigh, "It's normal to cry, Yuta hyung. You know it's ok to be sad when you've been strong for so long."
"Doyoungie..."
"Hm?"
"I miss my mum. I miss my dad. I miss Rapu-chan. Heck, I even miss my sister! I miss being in Japan, and I just miss my life there," he confessed sadly.
"I know, hyung. And you've held it in for long enough - I'm proud of you." Doyoung scooted closer to engulf Yuta in a warm hug. "You're so strong, living here so far away from your family and making them proud. You're a million-seller, you've a Daesang under your name and you're one of the top Japanese idols! I'm sure they are proud of you as much as I am. And I'm sure they miss you too. Let's call them tomorrow, yeah?" Yuta nodded between sniffles as a thankful smile graced his lips. The younger member always seemed to know what to say to calm him down.
"We can do it during lunch?" Doyoung supplied as his comforting hand stroked Yuta's messy bed hair. Yuta felt his shaky breaths even out. It didn't surprise him anymore that Doyoung could comfort him so easily. Apart from his leader, Yuta knew that he and Doyoung were the most emotionally sensitive members. It seemed to come naturally to them, just like Doyoung's motherly instincts. When Yuta had something on his mind, he could trust his members. Even when they were always bickering, it was all in good fun.
It brought a strange sense of security to be held by his dongsaeng (younger brother). Even when Doyoung was youngest of his family, he somehow gave the most practical advice. Yuta believed that Kim Dongyoung was a gift to him from the universe. He would cherish their relationship forever, even if Doyoung got sick of him one day, he silently promised to never let that hand go.
This wasn't just a friendship, it was a brotherhood which transcended their differences. The shared experiences and conversations stayed in Yuta's mind, and as cliché as it sounded, Yuta realised that he loved his members, especially Doyoung, even if he was never going to admit it aloud to Dons. But that was ok, because he knew that the younger man knew how he felt, even the things that were left unsaid.
Doyoung always looked after him like the mum of the group. His younger member reminded him of his family back home in Osaka. It hurt to think of them sometimes. They say home is where the heart is, but it got difficult living apart for years and never even having a meal together. He used to relish in his alone time, only showing his affection for the members when he missed his parents. But the last year stuck in South Korea overwhelmed him to no end.
Yes, he was proud of his team for achieving so much with their albums. And he was grateful for all the fans that supported them and stayed with them. His life was great. But it was also lonely sometimes.
New years, birthdays, parent's day, and even their anniversary made him lonely. They never did anything wrong - everyone looked out for him, especially Doyoung. But his chest still ached as he laid on the bed alone in the dark, missing the nagging from his mum.
No matter how old you were, family was always the most important. They stand behind you silently, always waiting for your return. Family was someone who felt the proudest about your achievements and felt the saddest when you cried. Family was love and he had two families now - one linked by blood, another linked by sweat. They'd spent so much of their youth together. The teasing, laughing, crying. And especially he had meant so much to Yuta. Oh, how he loved Doyoung.