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To the world, Seokjin may just be one person, but to Taehyung, Seokjin is his whole world.
His first encounter with Seokjin was when he was thirteen. His friend Jonathan had been teaching him to skateboard at an empty parking lot near an abandoned rail station, and they would grab some tacos afterwards from a nearby Mexican food truck before heading home. One day they noticed something unusual: a group of people looking like a street band was setting up an impromptu stage in front of the food truck. Taehyung's eyes were immediately riveted on a tall boy about seventeen, an Asian-American like himself, dressed in grunge attire with black-auburn mullet brushing the collar of his denim jacket. His face was rather small compared to most people's, but oh, what a face it was. Taehyung had no idea a guy could look so pretty. His features were delicate, with plush lips and almond-shaped eyes that tipped upward at the corners like a bird's wings. He would look more suitable in a K-pop idol group, but there was a rebellious air about him that made him fit with the rest of the band as he set up the equipment and joked with the shaggy-haired bassists and drummer.
Jonathan and Taehyung ate and watched as the band plugged in the amplifiers and decorated their "stage" with balloons and some potted flowers. The gorgeous guy adjusted a standing microphone, and Taehyung realized he was the vocalist. He wondered what kind of voice would come out of those red plump lips.
A couple more people stopped by for coffee and late lunch at the food truck, and it seemed to be a sign for the band to start the show. The bassists played some groovy tunes to set up the mood, and Taehyung pulled Jonathan to sit on the ground right upfront. The handsome singer glanced back at the drummer, who clicked his drumsticks together, then he shouted "Woo!" into the microphone.
What followed was an experience Taehyung would never forget. The band performed a pop-rock tune so catchy that the casual watchers started jiving along, but what impressed Taehyung the most was the vocalist. His voice was just as beautiful as his face, high and clear with a rocker's growls and whoops that made the whole performance even livelier. More passers-by stopped to watch, and some fancy-looking girls even came to squeal at the good-looking little rockstar.
As the small concert went on, Jonathan decided it was time for them to go home and tugged Taehyung to leave, but Taehyung could not take his eyes away from his newfound crush. Not only was he pleasing to the eye, his voice was also a feast to the ears: soaring high with emotions in rock tunes and incredibly sweet and caressing in ballads. At the encore, when the band again performed the first song, he glanced at Taehyung, who was among the few people still staying to watch, and gave him a playful wink.
Taehyung felt as if his world was tilting.
He was too shy to do anything other than smiling bashfully in return and running home afterwards, but since then, he and Jonathan would stop by every day after school to watch the band, dropping whatever little money they had into the open guitar case on the ground. Sometimes Taehyung had to miss the show due to additional classes, and at random times the band did not show up. Danny, the owner of the Mexican food truck, told Taehyung that the band also played in other venues.
He didn't learn the name of his crush until one afternoon, when the vocalist walked over to him and asked if he skateboarded. By this time Jonathan had gotten bored of teaching Taehyung the sport, so Taehyung had been going alone—not that he minded. He was so stunned at the unexpected approach that he gaped like a fish out of water, stuttering that he didn't skateboard but wanted to learn, but wasn't good at it, and...
His nervous chatter was cut short when the lovely singer stooped so that they were on eye level, his face serious. "Anyone can do anything if they practice hard. Want me to teach you some tricks?"
"You skateboard?" Taehyung had blurted. The singer laughed, his lush pink lips parting to show pearly teeth, the corners of his eyes crinkling adorably.
"Last time I checked, yes. I can't exactly skate down the stairwell, but I'm not bad either. So... you up for it?"
"I..." Taehyung wanted to say yes, but stopped short as he glanced towards the rest of the band. "Don't you guys have somewhere to go?"
"Not always. Today we have more free time. I can show you a few moves while the rest of the guys eat."
Taehyung didn't need to be convinced twice. Soon they were practicing on his skateboard, and Taehyung learned that the singer turned out to be a much more skilled teacher than Jonathan, who only showed his moves to Taehyung without exactly explaining how it was done. He patiently walked Taehyung through the basic steps, correcting his poses and showing tips on how to maintain his balance, and by the time the sun went down, Taehyung was able to skate down the length of the parking lot without stumbling.
"Yes!" The singer whooped and high-fived him. It was then that someone shouted from the background.
"Jin! You're done?"
"In a minute!" Jin turned to Taehyung, whose heart skittered as he learned the name of his crush. Jin. "Same time tomorrow?"
It was the start of their unlikely friendship, and Jin turned out to be a better skateboarder than he claimed. He started bringing a mini skateboard ramp for Taehyung as the boy got more grip on his skills and showed him some more advanced moves. Taehyung begged for more demonstration and Jin shyly but happily obliged, gliding smoothly back and forth the ramp, even doing a jaw-dropping high turn that made him look as if he was suspended on air, the afternoon sunlight like a halo around his head.
It was a sight that would be etched on Taehyung's mind forever.
Unfortunately, as with all good things, their play dates had to end. The final exams were approaching, and Taehyung's parents were not too impressed by Taehyung's mediocre grades. He had to take more after-school lessons to catch up, and the first time he sneaked out for his regular skateboard practice, Jin encouraged him to listen to his parents.
"I wish I had been a bit more serious about my own studies. Life on the street may look cool and carefree for you, Tae, but it's not easy. You gotta have that Plan B." He gently squeezed Taehyung's skinny shoulder. "Listen to your parents. Study hard. And I'll be here waiting for you after you finish your exams."
They made a pinky promise, and Taehyung kept his words to Jin. He studied hard enough to land a place in the top ten of his class. His parents were surprised and proud when they heard the result, but Taehyung wasted no time to grab his skateboard and run to the parking lot first thing after school, wanting to tell Jin the good news.
Jin was there, just as he had promised, but there was no band, and no audience. Taehyung slowed his steps as he approached Jin, feeling a sudden uneasiness in his gut. Jin looked a little pensive than usual, but smiled warmly as Taehyung drew closer. "Hey, champ."
"Where's your band?" Taehyung asked.
"They're practicing for a new gig. I told them I need to see you first. And to grab some tacos."
"How did you know I was coming today?"
"I didn't. I just came by every day since the exam week started, in case you've finished your tests," he said, sending warmth to Taehyung's insides. "How was it?"
"Great. I landed a top ten spot in class."
"Yeah!" Jin high-fived him, looking genuinely excited. "I knew you would make it. Hey, Danny," he called to the Mexican food vendor. "One taco platter please. This little guy deserves a celebratory meal."
"Aren't we going to skateboard?" Taehyung asked as he followed Jin to one of the outdoor tables. There were no other visitors.
"Actually," Jin began, pausing as Danny placed the platter in front of them. "I need to tell you something. We're going to LA to record our first album."
"Wow!" Taehyung exclaimed, eyes wide with excitement. "That's so cool!" His smile faded as realization dawned on him. "But... does that mean you'll move there for good?"
"Maybe... maybe not." Jin shrugged. "It depends on how the album is doing. If it tanks, we'll probably come back."
"Well," Taehyung gulped the sudden lump in his throat. "I hope you succeed, Jin. You're very talented. Really."
Jin gave him a small wistful smile. "Thanks. I won't be able to perform for you for a while though."
"It's okay. I'm truly happy for you," Taehyung said, trying to sound excited, but Jin's look told him he didn't hide his disappointment well.
"Well... since we're not going to see each other for a while," Jin said, pushing the untouched platter towards Taehyung. "What if I give you a little performance after you're done eating? Consider it my parting gift for being my faithful fan."
Taehyung gaped. "But... your band isn't here."
"Well, yeah... but I can do acoustic. If you don't mind, of course."
Taehyung felt sudden tears pricking his eyes. Jin was offering him a rare, exclusive performance before they parted. Somehow it meant the world to him. "Yeah... yeah, sure. I mean, yeah, I don't mind at all."
Jin gave him the sweetest smile, and Taehyung knew then that he was in love.
***
Fast forward five years.
Taehyung stands in the very spot where he last saw Jin, singing at the top of his lungs, his clear powerful voice reverberating throughout the vast empty ground as he belted Taehyung's favorite song with just the strum of his guitar.
I will be there, forever
I'll stay the same, I'll be there for you
There for you, oh-oh-oh…
The place is almost unrecognizable now, with Danny's food truck gone and the whole area turned into a commercial center instead. Taehyung had driven here all the way from Minneapolis, where his family now resides, with the hope that Danny might know Jin's current whereabouts. Taehyung had given him his address and Jin promised to write him, but six months after he went to LA, Taehyung's father was relocated and the entire family moved before he could get any updates from Jin.
In fact, he doesn't know if Jin ever wrote him at all. Taehyung's childhood home has been leased many times since they moved out, and the current occupant said they never received any letters.
Maybe he has forgotten me, Taehyung muses as he kicks a pebble. Jin's band had gone to enjoy a temporary success as new pop-rock band The Astronauts, and Taehyung still remembers buying their CD, reading their interviews, and jamming to their songs on the radio. But new stars emerged every other day, and after the band's initial breakthrough and not-so successful venture into the pop genre, they started to get outshined by fresh faces in the ever-changing music industry. The last time Taehyung heard about them was that they were going to sign up with a new label, which apparently never happened.
Since his family moved out, Taehyung had tried contacting Jin many times, writing to the band's fan mail address and calling to radio stations whenever they were on air. Yet Jin was in high demand back then due to his good looks and raw talent, and Taehyung's attempts were often lost in the overwhelming torrent of fan letters and on-air calls. The only time he succeeded was when he received a signed photo from the band's agency in response to one of his letters, and even that was a mass-produced signed photo with no personalized message.
He sighs and turns on his heels to walk back to his vintage Mustang, a second-hand car he bought from his first salary as a waiter in a Mexican restaurant. Maybe it is high time for him to move on from his pre-teen boy crush and focus on his studies. He tries to imagine what Jin may be doing now, perhaps married with kids in some suburban city, his musical dream forgotten. He winces.
He starts the engine and heads back to the road that'll take him back to his campus, his fingers fiddling with the radio button to find his favorite jazz station. In the last year or so, Taehyung has developed an interest in jazz music, taking piano and violin lessons in addition to his performing arts classes in the University of Minnesota. He and his best friend Park Hyoshin had even performed some jazz numbers in college events to positive feedback, and they have seriously considered recording some demos for recording studios. Taehyung had no idea how he ended up pursuing music, wondering if he was partly driven by a subconscious desire to cross paths with Jin again.
He is still searching for his favorite station—the Mustang's old-fashioned radio does not have buttons to program certain frequencies—when a very familiar voice suddenly bursts through the speaker.
When my breath spreads silently
Across countless seasons...
Taehyung's fingers freeze mid-air, his heart banging against his ribcage.
And I fall more every minute, more every hour...
He jolts when a car speeds past his, the driver yelling something at him. Trying to focus, he manages to pull off to the side of the highway and listens intently to the song playing on the radio.
It can't be, he thinks to himself as the male singer keeps on singing in that sweet lilting voice he will never forget. The intro turns into a new-wave pop track that is so different from the rock tunes Taehyung used to hear long ago, yet so engaging he can't stop listening.
Still on the dazzling window
So that you can see my heart
So I’ll leave you a heart on the window
Beyond the time I waited for you
A female voice joins the chorus as the beat picks up, and Taehyung feels a ridiculous prick of jealousy before he reminds himself that male-female duets are normal and that the male singer may not be Jin, just someone who sounds like him.
But as the song progresses and both singers add their improvisations and adlibs, Taehyung becomes even more certain of who the male vocalist is. His voice has grown richer and more mature, but there is no mistaking that belting, that soaring range. It is him. His Jin.
The song builds up to an intense crescendo before ending on a high note, literally and metaphorically. Then comes the radio DJ's chipper voice.
"And that's the single Heart on the Window by Wendy and Jin, former frontman of The Astronauts, out now at your nearest store. Don't forget to catch their special appearance live at the Troubadour on December 29th..."
Taehyung pulls back onto the road and speeds to the nearest Target he can find.
***
"Are you for real?!" Hyoshin screeches. "You're robbing us of what could be our first chance in a legit jazz club and now you need my help?"
"Please, Hyoshin," Taehyung pleads. "I have to be there, and your brother is the only way I can get a last minute ticket. Name your terms, bind me in legal contracts, anything. But I need to go to that show."
"What's in there that could be a matter of life and death to you? More important than what might be our first musical breakthrough?"
"I... can't say now, but I will explain everything later, I promise. It's—I just need a closure, that's all. It's very important to me. Please, I'll do anything you ask. Just help me get there, okay?"
Hyoshin squints at Taehyung. "Is this about some guy?"
Taehyung hesitates, then nods.
Hyoshin sighs, hard. "Alright, I'll ask. But," he threatens. "If Dakota refuses to change our date, or ever let us play there again, you'll have to agree to work for my brother until I can find us another gig. Understood?"
Taehyung nods eagerly. At this point, he would agree on anything.
A week later he is on a plane to LA, having bought a return ticket with the money he got from selling his electric keyboard. He checks into his cheap hostel and takes a cab to the Troubadour.
He pauses at the front door, looking at the marquee displaying the name of the artists. And tendrils of fear and doubt seep into him for the first time since listening to Jin's voice on his car's radio.
What am I even doing here? he wonders, feeling suddenly stupid. Will he even recognize me? Taehyung has changed a lot from the skinny blond boy he was all those years ago, and even though he has dressed in the closest imitation to the outfit he often wore when he saw Jin after school, there's only a very slight chance Jin will remember his face. Or their brief moments together.
Most importantly: Why does this matter to him?
He is pondering backing off when a security guard opens the door and announces that the show will start soon.
Taehyung walks in like a daze, bumped here and there by the impatient crowd, until an attendant sees him blocking the traffic and rushes him along.
He looks at the stage washed in blue and red lights, and his heart starts to flutter. Any time now Jin will walk through that entrance, and he realizes then that the only thing that matters is to see him singing.
Again.
***
Seokjin peeks through the red curtain that separates him from the audience, mostly there undoubtedly for Wendy.
Who has just told him through the phone that she is trapped in what may look like an-hour long traffic jam due to an untimely car accident.
"Jin," Gary, the event organizer, addresses him. "Should we tell them the truth and let you fill the gap until Wendy arrives?"
Seokjin ponders the options: Either he can do that and let Wendy's fans boo him, or he can make them wait for who they came for. The second option seems more logical: He is just a featured artist in her single, after all, and there is no point of risking having his pride crushed… again. But Wendy is his friend, and if he does not do something, it will hurt her career as well.
He finally resigns to his fate and thinks of ways to entertain the crowd when he notices a familiar face among them, a head taller than most people.
Seokjin blinks, thinking his eyes deceive him, but the face is still there.
Blond wavy hair. Striped orange shirt. The same huge, innocent eyes.
Taehyung.
His heart starts to beat faster.
"Jin?"
He shakes himself. "Yes, let's do it."
"Seokjin-ah," Evan, his friend and personal drummer, asks as Gary walks out to announce the unfortunate change in schedule. "Are you sure? We're only going to embarrass ourselves if they didn't come for us."
A collective groan is heard from behind the curtain, seemingly confirming their fear. Seokjin takes another peek at the crowd, to where Taehyung now looks anticipatorily at the stage. He has grown at least three feet since Seokjin last saw him, and the baby fat has been replaced with sharp cheekbones and angular jawline. But there is no mistaking his identity, or why he is here: The boy wears almost identical clothes and the exact same hairdo as when they last met.
He is there for him.
"I have at least one audience down there," Seokjin tells Evan. "One longtime audience. And I'm a performer. Even if there is only one person coming, I have to perform for them."
Evan stares at him confusedly, but then nods at the firm look in Seokjin's eyes.
"Ready when you are, Jin," Gary says as he re-enters backstage.
Seokjin closes his eyes, takes one deep calming breath, then walks outside.
***
Taehyung feels breathless.
Jin steps outside, looking as if he hasn't aged a day since their last meeting... except he seems to be leaner and quieter than what Taehyung remembers. His black-auburn hair is now solid black, and he wears a taupe canvas jacket with colorful pins at the front and a pair of faded jeans.
Around Taehyung, the crowd is buzzing with murmurs of dissatisfaction, some even mentioning getting a refund. But a few people clap as Jin walks to the microphone.
"Good evening everyone," Jin speaks, that same soothing, reassuring tone he once used when teaching Taehyung to skateboard now booms through the room. The murmurs dissipate, though not entirely. "I know you've come here to see Wendy, but as you know, she is going through some unfortunate delay. Yet she has assured me through the phone that she will try her best to get here. Now, since you've all paid for admission, would it be alright to allow me to entertain you until she makes it to the show?"
The buzz starts again: Some assenting, some disagreeing. A young man beside Taehyung starts, "This is ridiculous..." but falters when his eyes meet Taehyung's glare.
"I've listened to this guy for years," Taehyung says. "And trust me, you'll get more value for money by giving him a chance instead of walking out."
The young man looks miffed, but his friend whispers, "He may be right. We've come this far, it's foolish to leave now."
"Alright, since you guys seem to be divided," Jin speaks again, and Taehyung sees new sparks alighting his eyes. "What if I give you two choices? Either you can volunteer to cover the duet with me if you have the pipes, or you can let me sing a song of your request? How about it?"
Louder murmurs this time, but more of excitement. Some young women start to giggle and push each other to the stage, while the young men snicker and shake their heads in amusement.
Taehyung debates with himself whether he should request his favorite song, but then Jin says, "If everyone's still undecided, I'll randomly pick one person..." His gaze scans the room, which is now filled with nervous laughter, then lands right on Taehyung. "This gentleman in the striped shirt. What's your name, please?"
Taehyung feels like a deer caught in headlights. He stares at Jin's eyes, seeing that anticipation, that recognition, and stammers, "Taehyung. Kim Taehyung."
"Well, Taehyung-ssi. Would you mind coming onstage please?"
"I—I can't sing." Not in this genre of music.
"It's alright, we'll work something out. Do you happen to play any instrument?"
Taehyung gapes at that unexpected question. Does he know...? "I... Well, I can play the keyboard."
"Wonderful! Now, if you're willing to come up to the stage, we'll play something for the audience to warm them up before the main show. Who knows… maybe this is your first path to success."
Taehyung stares at Jin, and Jin nods at him with that warm, reassuring gaze, the same gaze he'd leveled at Taehyung when he told him everyone can do anything if they try.
Taehyung slowly shuffles his way forward, past the audience scrutinizing him. He pauses in front of the stage, looking for a way to climb up, and Jin walks to the edge to guide him to the steps.
Their eyes meet as Taehyung sets foot on the stage, and up close, he can see the faint lines under Jin's eyes that were not there before. But Jin beams at him, and Taehyung feels everything around him fading, leaving just both of them. "It's you, isn't it?" Jin whispers.
Taehyung nods, his throat closing up. "Jin, I'm sorry. My family moved out, and—"
"Save that for later. We have more than enough time to catch up," Jin says, reminding Taehyung of where they are. "I was hoping you would say yes when I asked if you could play an instrument, because I could use your help," he chuckles.
"But Jin, I don't know many—"
"I'll take care of it." Raising his voice, Jin addresses the audience, "So, what song do you guys want me to sing? Anything will do as long as it is okay with our young pianist here."
"Heart on the Window," a woman speaks over a clamor of suggestions.
"Well, as I've said, Wendy is on her way here, so you can listen to her performing it herself when she arrives. Perhaps something else?"
"What about I'll Be There?" Taehyung blurts out.
Jin turns towards him, and Taehyung cannot even begin to express the look of surprise followed by deep gratitude in those chocolate eyes.
"I'll Be There..." Jin says to the microphone, swallowing before turning back to the audience, "...is the title track from my first album with The Astronauts. Perhaps some of you have forgotten it, but..."
"I remember it. Good song," a female voice speaks up, and some of the crowds murmur in agreement.
"Alright, then I'll Be There it is. For those of you who haven't heard it, I promise you're in for a good time." Two men walk out from behind the stage, taking their places behind the drum and the bass respectively. One of them hands Jin an acoustic guitar—the very same one Seokjin used to serenade Taehyung before they parted ways.
Taehyung sits gingerly behind the keyboard, his palms sweaty with nerves as he adjusts the controls. Jin approaches him and asks, "You okay? You can still change your mind if you want to."
Jin looks hopeful though, and Taehyung resolutely nods. "I know the notes by heart."
Jin's eyes seem to glisten, but then he blinks and smiles. "Okay. Let's do it then."
Taehyung holds up one tentative hand for a high-five. Jin looks stunned for a moment, then lifts his palm to meet Taehyung's.
"Ready, Seokjin?" the drummer asks.
Seokjin, Taehyung spells the two syllables in his heart, engraving them there. It's his real name.
Seokjin nods and walks back to the microphone.
The drummer clicks his drumsticks together, sending chills of deja vu down Taehyung's spine with that familiar opening.
"Woo!" Seokjin shouts to the microphone, and Taehyung closes his eyes as his fingers start to dance on the keyboard.
He does not need to look at the sheet music—all he needs is Seokjin's voice, and the melody he has played a million times in his head.
***
The show was a success.
More people actually remembered Seokjin's hit single than he expected, and Taehyung's presence and impeccable keyboard skill gave Seokjin such an adrenaline rush that he performed with the euphoria he hadn't felt for a very long time. The energy was so infectious that even the initially skeptical audience couldn't resist it, and Seokjin was almost in tears when they requested a repeat.
Wendy arrived by the time the song ended, and Seokjin's fear that he might have stolen her show was unfounded as she thanked him for keeping the fans engaged. Their long-awaited duet was met with a standing ovation and renewed respect for Seokjin's vocal range. Taehyung, who had given the reins back to the club's keyboard player, clapped the loudest from among the audience, whooping and cheering for Seokjin with the widest boxy smile on his adorable face.
Seokjin had asked Gary to escort Taehyung to the waiting room backstage and fetched him after conversing with the club's manager. They went to an Italian restaurant Seokjin liked for its privacy and caught up with each other's lives. Taehyung told him about his family's sudden move to Minneapolis and his decision to pursue art and music. Seokjin filled him with the struggles he'd experienced since the release of The Astronauts' debut album: the parting with their first label over creative differences, their unsuccessful attempts as indie artists, the breakup with band members seeking different avenues.
"Last year was the darkest period in my life," he recalls now, absentmindedly twirling his glass of white wine. "I wrote and sent demos studio execs didn't want to hear and drank almost every night. I was about to give up and return to our hometown when Wendy called me." He smiles. "She was signed up with our first label as a girl band member and had gone on to have a successful solo career. She wanted to do a duet and thought I was the right person to do it with. Until now I have no idea why... I was always a rocker, and she was more into pop. But after hearing the track, I actually quite liked it. So I decided to go for it and see where it would take me."
"I'm sorry to hear you had a tough time," Taehyung says softly, his deep brown eyes earnest beneath his long lashes. "I always wondered where you were, whether you're doing alright. I even went to the place you used to perform at, just in case you came back. But it has been changed to a commercial center, and Danny wasn't even there anymore."
"I thought you'd forgotten me," Seokjin says, chuckling. "After all, I was just a random singer you admired as a kid. I was actually surprised you came to see us for so long."
"You're not just a random singer," Taehyung counters, leaning forward on the table. "You're my friend. You taught me something I thought I could never do, and made me believe that I can do anything I set my mind to."
"And you saved me tonight. More than you ever know," Seokjin says tenderly. "If I hadn't seen you in the audience, wearing clothes like you wore back then, I probably would've chickened out, never knowing that there's still anyone out there who remembers my songs."
Taehyung reaches for Seokjin's hand, which is still holding the glass of wine on the table. The gesture startles them both and Taehyung pulls back quickly. "Sorry, I didn't—"
Seokjin watches as the boy flushes, and his heart starts to race again. Could it be...?
He swallows. He doesn't know whether to tell Taehyung of the tender affection he'd felt when they were younger, afraid it will scare the boy. Taehyung was still a kid then, and Seokjin was a gay in his late teens. There were times he felt disgusted with himself whenever he thought about Taehyung more often than he'd have liked. Taehyung might have adored him, but he was only an adolescent fanboy, and Seokjin refused to let himself think of him as more than that.
Yet tonight when he saw Taehyung in the audience, all grown up, obviously there to see him... it has stirred a strange hope in Seokjin's heart.
There's one way to know for sure what Taehyung feels about him now.
"I want to show you a place," he says, and Taehyung looks up. "It's not open to the public, but I know a way to get there. Wanna see?"
He half-expects Taehyung to decline, but his heart swells as the boy says yes to him. For the second time that day.
***
"Wow."
Taehyung walks through the hole in the wire fence separating the old rail tracks from the vast parking lot, and his jaw drops.
It looks almost exactly like the parking lot Seokjin and his band used to play at back in their hometown in Minnesota, except it is under a beautiful bridge lit with colorful night lights. "But... but how...?" he asks, turning towards Seokjin.
"I know, right?" Seokjin grins. "I love this bridge at nighttime, and I was just passing by when I accidentally discovered the entrance to this parking lot underneath it. Completely stunned by how identical it is."
Taehyung casts his sight around, at the majestic arches of the bridge above them, then back at the space washed in rainbow colors before him. "It's beautiful," he sighs, his throat closing up. "I wonder what it looks like during the day."
Seokjin draws up alongside him. "I've been coming here at sunset lately whenever I miss home," he says.
Taehyung turns towards him. They are now at the same height, and Taehyung can see every detail of Jin's perfect side profile, outlined by the lights. "Jin, I..."
Seokjin looks at him, his eyes as dark as the sea.
"I... I missed you so much," Taehyung manages, then drops his gaze. He wants to say more, but he is afraid it will scare Seokjin away. The whole night has been a dream, and the fact that Seokjin not only remembered him, but also wanted to sing with him, tells him that Seokjin sees him as more than just a fanboy. But what if he only considers Taehyung as a beloved dongsaeng? He was shocked when Taehyung reached for his hand in the restaurant, and there is no reason to believe that he is...
That's when he feels a light touch on his elbow. "Taehyung-ah."
Taehyung looks up again, and sees that same hopeful look he saw in those eyes on stage, but more intense. More... desperate.
"I missed you too," Seokjin whispers, then adds, more quietly, "More than you think."
He searches Taehyung's eyes, and Taehyung finds the answer he's looking for in those dark pools.
He does not know who moves first, but the next thing he knows, they already kissed.
***
Five months later, under the same bridge, Taehyung watches as his boyfriend records his first music video after a long while.
Everything is just as magical as their first kiss there, except that now it is daytime. Taehyung takes in Seokjin's face, the faint tired lines under his eyes gone now, replaced with the bright spark of optimism in them that reminds Taehyung of their very first meeting.
In fact, Seokjin looks almost exactly as he was nearly six years ago, as he dons similar attire he wore when he first met Taehyung. He had kept it from Taehyung as a surprise, and Taehyung had spontaneously thrown himself at him when he found out.
Taehyung smiles to himself as blush creeps up his face. Their relationship had evolved like a whirlwind from a rare idol-fan friendship to lovers in just a span of several months. But it just feels so right. In fact, Taehyung had never felt more at home than when he boldly kissed Seokjin's rosy plump lips that night in this very spot—something he'd wanted to do for years.
Of course, Seokjin had a harder time believing it. While he'd kissed Taehyung passionately back, he was more tentative about the progress of their relationship, saying he needed time to accept the fact that he had been in love with Taehyung just as long as Taehyung had yearned for him.
"You were just a kid back then," Seokjin said the first night they made love, his voice thick with emotion as he caressed Taehyung's tousled blond hair. "I felt it abnormal to have a fixation for a preteen boy, even though I had accepted I was gay. My parents thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world, and though I've long moved out of their house, their remarks had stayed with me."
"Seokjin-ah," Taehyung lifted his head from Seokjin's bare chest, looking his lover in the eye. "You're only older by three and a half years, and you were no more a kid than I was. Besides, I was the crazy fan who practically robbed my friend and parents' money to come all the way to LA to see you. It was nuts, and I almost backed out, but when I saw you again, everything just made sense. I longed for you, had been longing since the first time I saw you. And you have no idea how happy and relieved I was when you returned my kiss."
He inched forward to lock their lips together. "If anything, you were my gay awakening."
Seokjin chuckled. "What about your parents, though? I bet they will kick me out as soon as you introduce me to them."
Taehyung shrugged. "We haven't really spoken since I decided to pursue performing arts. I mean, I've been skipping school for five weeks now, working on my music here alongside you, and they have no idea." He snorted. "I think Hyoshin would be more likely to kill me for disappearing after I ruined our first gig. He hasn't called me though, so I guess he's doing fine."
Seokjin brought his hand up to cup Taehyung's cheek. "Thank you for always being there for me, Taehyung-ah. You've saved me."
"You saved me first," Taehyung whispered. "I have never felt so safe, so seen, as when I was with you."
Seokjin rolled him to his back, his eyes alight with desire. Taehyung arched towards him as if they were not close enough already, fire ignited everywhere their skin came into contact. It's all they have been doing lately whenever they're not working, on Seokjin's bed in his small apartment. Seokjin had been with a couple of men over the years, but those moments never felt as intoxicating, as addictive, as when he was with Taehyung.
Taehyung's cell phone buzzes then, startling him from his distracting thoughts. He pulls it out from his pocket and sees Hyoshin's number. "Hey, pal."
"Pal?! How dare you call me that? Where ARE you? You have been missing for a MONTH. Your parents have been on my ass for a WEEK because you didn't return their calls."
"Relax, partner. I'm still in LA, playing for small clubs. I was going to call you once I've saved enough money to compensate for your loss."
"You what?!"
"I've been playing in jazz clubs. My boyfriend has some music connection down here and he's been pulling some strings for me. Actually," he adds, pausing for dramatics. "I may be in the line-up for this year's Hollywood Bowl Jazz Festival."
Silence from the other end. "Cut the crap already, Taehyung. It's not funny."
"I'm not lying. Check the website."
"No, I won't fall for it. And in case you forget, we had a deal."
"Well, this is me trying to fulfill the deal. As soon as I—we—make it big, I'll call you. We can form a jazz duo."
Hyoshin must have sensed the change in Taehyung's tone, because he asks, "You're serious, huh?"
"Dead serious. So just pray that my boyfriend's second EP will explode, and I'll send you a ticket to California this time."
"You know I can always go there for your ass, right?"
"It's someone else's ass now, but yeah, I know."
Hyoshin lets out a loud sigh. "Just call your parents, alright?!" Then he hangs up.
Taehyung chuckles as he pockets his phone. He might be exaggerating about the jazz festival, but thanks to Seokjin, he knows he'll get there soon.
"What's so funny?"
Taehyung looks up and beams at the pair of pretty almond eyes staring down at him. "Just Hyoshin eventually catching up with me."
"Oh no." Seokjin squats before Taehyung's chair, his eyes twinkling. "He didn't skin you alive, did he?"
"Close to." Taehyung grins. "But he clammed up when I told him about the jazz festival. I still have to face my parents, though." He sighs. "Guess they didn't completely forget me."
Seokjin's eyes turn concerned. "Taehyung-ah, I'm positive about this album, but if things go wayward again, I don't want you to—"
Taehyung places a hand on Seokjin's cheek, silencing him. "Everything will be okay, Seokjin-ah. The album's going to be amazing because this time, it will be authentically, unapologetically you. Not what someone else made you do. It worked the first time, and it'll work again. And I have enough faith for both of us."
Seokjin nods, then turns towards the replica of Danny's Tacos truck beside the live band, ready to be filmed for the MV. "And if nothing else works, I can cook Korean food and sell it under the label Jinnie's Kitchen."
They giggle just as the director calls out to Seokjin to begin shooting.
"Snap some good photos for me," he says, giving Taehyung a quick peck on the cheek. Taehyung nods and picks up his Nikon, one Seokjin bought him when Taehyung started taking photography courses in an art college.
He ends up taking more than some good photos, but his personal favorite is one of Seokjin prancing around and playing air guitar alone in the parking lot, bathed in the golden light of sunset. And some time after, when Danny unexpectedly contacts them from Mexico, having returned there and heard of Seokjin's success from his homeland, Seokjin sends him a personally signed CD along with a photo Taehyung took of him jumping mid-air on set, as if greeting the setting sun, promising Taehyung that he will always sing for him.