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Jeno misses Mark’s long hair.
It’s always the first thing that comes to mind whenever he runs his fingers through Mark’s hair. And this time isn’t any different, with Mark lying on Jeno’s chest sleeping calmly while Jeno plays with his hair. Mark curls into the touch the same way a kitten would, relaxing his whole body and nuzzling his nose against Jeno’s neck, and Jeno smiles fondly at the sight, holding Mark closer, their legs entangled together.
It’s cold outside, the curtains are drawn, the lights are off and Jeno’s bed is so comfy and warm that he doesn’t want to get up. Mark moves to the side with a mumble and his lips turn into a pout, probably dreaming, Jeno has to hold himself not to coo at the scene, so he settles for another smile. December came along with Jeno’s favorite holiday, making him giddy with the thought of this being his and Mark’s first Christmas since they got back together.
Last year, Jeno spent Christmas at his parents home. It was fine, he enjoyed the time away from the camera flashes and hectic schedules, but the invasive questions and comments about his appearance were pretty dispensable. Now, his goal is to make this Christmas better than the previous one, and his will to impress Mark plays a big part in this plan. The thing is that Mark doesn’t really care about Christmas the same way Jeno does, so he probably would do anything Jeno asks him to.
“I can feel you staring at me.” Mark grumbles half asleep, startling Jeno.
Mark stretches his arms and buries his head on the blanket, letting a groan escape his lips while Jeno shakes his head.
“Good morning to you, too.” Jeno answers, rolling his eyes playfully. He lays on his side, takes the blanket out of Mark’s head and finds the boy squinting his eyes to stare back at Jeno. “Did you sleep well?” He asks, caressing Mark’s face.
Mark nods, smiling. “Like a baby.”
Jeno leans forward to press a kiss on Mark’s cheek, but Mark grabs Jeno’s nape and kisses him slowly, slipping his tongue inside Jeno’s mouth and letting his weight atop him, making both of them giggle as Mark moves and starts to kiss every spot of Jeno’s face. Jeno holds Mark’s waist to steady him, he feels Mark’s hands touching his skin underneath the sweater, going from his chest to his abdomen, and stopping right on the hem of his sweatpants, his body practically melts into the touch.
Mark trails down his kisses into Jeno’s neck, and he throws his head back to give Mark more space to explore, sighing softly. Jeno wraps his legs around Mark, making sure that every inch of their bodies are touching, it's not enough, but since it's not possible yet to crawl inside each other's skin and morph into just one, this will do.
It feels amazing, the familiarity, the way Mark always knows how to make Jeno feel on the clouds, how easy it is to be carried away and forget the world outside their little bubble. Sometimes everything feels like a fever dream, how far they came, and Jeno can't help but laugh with the thought.
"What's so funny?" Mark asks, propping himself up, one hand at each side of Jeno's head.
Jeno looks up in awe. Mark's cheeks are red, his lips are slightly swollen, and he looks so small wearing a hoodie twice his size.
"Nothing," he lets his hands rest on Mark's hips. "I'm just happy that you're here."
Mark grimaces, pretending to dislike it, but the little smile threatening to grow gives him away.
"Sooo cheesy." He shakes his head as he says.
"And you love it." Jeno points out, twisting his eyebrows.
Mark doesn't hesitate to nod his head. "I do," he squeezes Jeno's cheek with one hand, his lips jutting out in a pout. And before Jeno could complain, Mark leans in and kisses him, dropping both hands to Jeno's chest as he adds. "Do you know what else I would love?" His voice is sweet, too sweet, and Jeno eyes him suspiciously.
"What?"
Mark gives his cutest smile as he replies. "To just lay here doing nothing for the rest of the day."
“Maaaark,” he whines.
“What? It’s cold!”
“You said you would help!”
“Fine.” Mark sighs. “I was just hoping you would forget.” Jeno has his eyes crossed, refusing to look at Mark. “Come on, stop sulking.” He holds Jeno’s face and leaves a kiss on the top of his nose. “You’re so cute.”
“Trying to seduce me won’t work.”
Mark laughs. “I wasn’t trying to seduce you but ok.” He shakes his head and drops his weight atop Jeno again, earning a slap on his arm.
“Get off me!”
His voice comes out muffled, but he easily shoves Mark to the side, laughing.
“Pleaseee, just five more minutes.”
They get up after another round of bickering and kisses, it’s still early, Jeno opens the curtains to be received with the dim sunlight lighting up the room. They take longer than necessary to get ready, their breakfast ends up being made of the leftovers from the day before, and Mark smiles listening to Jeno chatter excitedly about the plans he made for the day.
Said plans include decorating the house, settling up the Christmas tree, and going out to the Christmas parade downtown. Jeno made sure to buy most of the decoration items online a month prior to it, and even went a little ahead and organized mood board folders for each room.
“Hey, do you want a spoiler for your gift?” Jeno asks, pressing his lips together.
Mark has his back turned to him, sitting with the box of ornaments open on his lap while Jeno arranges the lights on the wall, wires wrapped around his arms.
“Sure.” Mark laughs, turning to face Jeno.
Jeno takes a few steps ahead and stops beside Mark.
“Okay, so, uhm…” he starts, excited. “It’s something you said you really want.”
Mark laughs again, louder, and throws his head back.
“But there’s a lot of things that I want.”
“Exactly.”
Mark shakes his head. “Thanks, babe,” Jeno stays by his side, looking expectantly, and Mak gives him a smirk. “I’m not giving you any hint about your gift though.”
“You’re no fun.”
They spend the next hour in full concentration, Mark turns on the speaker and lets his chill songs playlist play on shuffle, humming some of them to himself. At some point, Jeno stops, sits and leans back against the couch staring at Mark, and before he can control it, a lovesick smile takes over his face.
His mind wanders through the living room in an out-of-body experience, he sees themselves in that same spot in a third-person point of view, and it feels so right that it’s as if the two of them always belonged there, together. Mark’s clothes are in Jeno’s room, some of his things are spread around the house, and even the plants in the backyard were also chosen by Mark. There’s so much of Mark in that place that Jeno feels that everything is empty when he’s not around.
Jeno's stomach twists in dread. Is it normal to want this much? Is he repeating a pattern without realizing? Wanting more than what Mark can give him? He bites his bottom lip hard enough to feel it sting, he presses his hands against his tights, and only realizes they're trembling when Mark gently touches his arm.
Jeno blinks once and shrugs. “Sorry, I spaced out for a moment,” the smile he gives doesn't reach his eyes. “Did you say something?”
“I asked if you liked the tree.” Mark points to the tree he just settled.
Jeno follows the motion and finds the white tree full of candy canes, trinkets and lights, placed in the corner next to the bookshelf beside the TV.
“Yeah, I loved it.” His smile looks a little more sincere this time.
Mark holds Jeno's hand between his.
“Look at me,” he demands softly, and Jeno does so. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Jeno.”
“Really! It's- it's dumb.”
Mark gives Jeno's hand a light squeeze.
“Tell me.”
“I want to ask you something but I don't know if I should.” He sighs.
Mark furrows his eyebrows. “Oh, so it must be serious,” he presses his lips, thinking. “Are you going to ask me to open our relationship?” He teases, laughing at the way Jeno's face twists in disgust.
“I would rather kill myself.” He groans, and it only makes Mark laugh harder. And the sound is contagious, Jeno joins him with an eye roll. “Don't ever joke about that again.” He warns, which makes Mark coo at him. But at least the tension Jeno was feeling is gone now.
Mark goes ahead and plants a kiss at the back of Jeno’s hand.
“What is it then?”
“I was thinking… why don't you move in with me?” He asks in one breath.
Mark widens his eyes, surprised, and Jeno immediately regrets asking. Mark will definitely think that he is rushing things, so before the silence gets too heavy, Jeno starts explaining himself.
“I mean, not that you have to, haha,” he coughs, feeling his cheeks burn. “It's just- I’m already used to having you here and we're always so busy” he stutters, trailing his gaze to everywhere but Mark's face. “And I thought that, you know, maybe it would be easier to have a place just ours to come back at the end of the day.”
Mark is the one who blushes now. He looks down at their hands intertwined with a shy smile.
“Do you really mean this?”
Jeno nods and holds Mark's shin up. “I told you it's dumb.”
“It's not. I'm just surprised.” he laughs shortly. “You really like me, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
Mark leans in to slot their lips together in a chaste kiss, and Jeno is smiling back at him when they part.
“But you don't need to say yes if you don't want to,” Jeno assures. “Don't wanna pressure you.”
“It's okay,” he smiles. “I'll think about it.”
The snow falls on Mark’s and Jeno’s shoulders as they walk with their fingers linked. The harsh air hits their faces and leaves their cheeks red. They are both wearing heavy coats, matching scarves, and hands covered by gloves.
The sidewalks are all lined with souvenir stands, along with colored candy stalls full of freshly baked dumplings and the scent of gingerbread cookies and burned sugar from cotton candy. It’s crowded, people are stopping at each spot to take pictures, some even with gifts in hand, while others just walk by, it’s noisy, the blending of voices talking and laughing with the music playing in the background. The twinkling Christmas lights reflect prettily off Mark’s eyes, even with the disinterested look he has.
Jeno guides Mark by the wrist as they wander through the street, and Mark leans into his touch, seeking for warmth. They stop in front of a stand, Jeno gives Mark a mischievous grin, and buys a pair of reindeer tiaras, showing it off excitedly.
Mark lets out a huff from pouted lips.
“Is this really necessary?” He sighs as Jeno starts ripping the price tags.
“Yes, it is,” Jeno answers without looking. “Come here.” And Mark obeys reluctantly.
“Okay, can I keep that one with stars at least?”
“Nope.” Jeno proceeds to put the tiara on Mark’s head, he struggles a little to keep it in place, and has to hold himself not to make a joke about Mark needing customized accessories thanks to his big head. He puts his own tiara swiftly and squeezes Mark’s cheeks, the same way Mark always does to him. “Cuteee.”
“Shut up,” Mark protests, but doesn’t make any effort to move away. “I’m not cute.”
“It’s not as much fun when it's with you, is it?” He laughs, poking Mark’s belly. “And you are very cute to me. Period.”
Mark shakes his head, and even with the protests and sporadic snide remarks, Jeno can tell that he is having fun too. There’s a glow on his face that appears whenever he's happy, his face is relaxed, and Jeno allows himself to think he takes part in it.
“We could be cuddling on the couch right now.” Mark says, with a loud, dramatic sigh.
“Oh my God, stop complaining.” Jeno rolls his eyes.
“I’m not complaining,” he shrugs, playing dumb. “Just making an observation.”
Jeno doesn’t fight back, Mark is just annoying him on purpose again. Instead, he corners Mark in a tree on the other end, where the laugh and babble noise are weaker, puts his hands on Mark’s scarf, and pulls him closer. He smiles before letting their lips meet softly, feeling Mark’s arms pressing his waist.
“How bold.” Mark teases, his hands still tight on Jeno’s waist. Contrary to his words, his body doesn't know how to react to all that affection. It's odd, but Jeno gladly enjoys this red faced, shy Mark, a sign he doesn't see everyday. “What if someone sees us?”
“I don’t think anyone is paying attention.” Jeno adjusts Mark’s scarf with a grin. “We‘re cool.”
Mark visibly softens. “Okay then.”
“Let’s go, I wanna take a ride in the electric cart.”
After getting a bag of sugar cookies each, Mark chose the traditional ones with icing and sprinkles, while Jeno’s are stuffed with jam, they get rid of the gloves, and Mark slides his arm around Jeno’s shoulder as they continue to walk. The main street is still one block away, so they take their time strolling around and taking pictures, it’s mostly Mark doing it, but Jeno manages to take some when Mark isn’t looking.
Mark wipes his hand on Jeno’s coat to get rid of the crumbs on his fingers, laughs when Jeno slaps his arm in disapproval and pulls Jeno in for a kiss that makes him melt. Jeno gives up on riding the carts after seeing the line of kids waiting for their turn, deciding to take advantage of Mark’s good mood.
“Can I take this thing off now? My head hurts.” Mark asks with a whine.
“Poor baby,” Jeno teases, then nods and takes his own tiara off. “Sure.”
“Thanks.” Mark grins victoriously, letting a relieved sigh after taking it off.
“You don’t look so bored anymore.” Jeno points out.
Mark hums before answering. “Surprisingly, I’m having fun.”
“No way.” Jeno gasps, dramatically and Mark rolls his eyes. “My plan is working, then.”
“It is. But you didn’t have to, you know?” He smiles. “I’d be happy with anything as long as it’s with you.”
Jeno looks down, his cheeks get incredibly warm.
“Who’s the cheesy one now?”
Mark smiles all smug. “Right, let’s pretend you didn’t love hearing it.” He holds Jeno’s face closer, leaving a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “I love you.” He says, with their foreheads pressed against each other.
Jeno’s answer comes right away. “I love you more.”
The two sit on a bench to watch the parade. Not a single corner isn’t covered by lights and Christmas decorations, Mark watches with wonder the whimsy floats entering the street, his phone on display filming everything. It starts with a simple one, a red float made to resemble a sleigh, and a crew of dancers performing in red and white outfits. The next one is larger, and is similar to a carousel, with square benches in different shapes as if they were gifts.
It’s a pattern that soon gets tiring, so Mark rests his head on Jeno’s shoulder, feeling his energy starting to drain. The burst of colors becomes a blur, the music is nothing but white noise now, and Jeno runs circles around Mark’s hand.
“I was thinking about what you said earlier.” Mark breaks the silence after a while.
Jeno turns his head so fast his neck starts aching, he blinks, stunned, and is sure that his cheeks are red once again.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” he replies. Mark opens his mouth but Jeno is fast to cut him. “Please, don’t rush yourself just to–”
“Let me finish!” Mark holds Jeno’s shoulders and shakes him, drops his hands to Jeno’s and sighs. “You’re not rushing me,” he laughs through his nose. “I’m not gonna lie, urgh. I’m freaking out a little, haha.”
“Take your time.”
“So, it left me wondering if you only asked me this to make up for the time we lost, you know? Isn’t it too soon? Are we going too fast? And what if you get sick of me?” Jeno only listens, understanding. He shares the same questions and insecurities, and as devastating as it is to hear Mark say those words out loud, there’s a little comfort in knowing that he is just as lost, because it means that they can work it out together. “But things aren’t just black and white, look at how far we came. Why should we hold on to these outdated conceptions? How do we know if we’re going too slow or too fast? Time is just a social construction anyway!” He widens his eyes, enthusiastic.
Jeno laughs, the huge boba eyes, furrowed eyebrows, pouted lips and hands into fists makes Mark look so cute. Jeno wants to kiss him so bad.
Mark keeps going. “That being said, I would love to live with you.”
“Wait, really?”
And Jeno's smile is so big when Mark nods.
“I don’t know when though, we both have our schedules packed for the next three months,” he ponders, lost in thought. “And how would we do it? Like… Do I move to your house or do you move to mine?”
“Uh, I didn’t think about the details.”
Mark laughs. “Alright, we can think about the logistics some other time.”
“I totally agree,” Jeno nods. “Can’t believe you’re moving in with me for real.” He adds with a giggle.
“Yeah, neither do I.”
Jeno pulls Mark for a deep, slow kiss, only parting to catch their breaths and dive right back into each other’s lips. A buzz makes them stop for a moment, startled, and they both look around in confusion. Realization hits Jeno first, he takes a look at his phone, and shows it to Mark.
“Oh, it’s midnight,” He grins. “Merry Christmas, my love.”
Mark grins back.
“Merry Christmas, babe.”