Work Text:
Open breach.
Jump through breach.
Land in STAR Labs.
Work out what’s wrong.
Fix it.
It was a simple enough to do list, but Cisco paused for a moment. If breaching felt wrong then maybe breaching right now was the worst thing he could possibly do. Then another lash of pain split between his temples right through his brain. Blinking hard didn’t get rid of the blinding flash of white light that greeted him and a small part of him wondered if maybe he was dying.
One hand clutching his head and the other stuck out in front, palm up, Cisco opened the breach and stumbled through.
He collapsed almost immediately as his feet touched solid ground and as much as he tried to brace himself with his hands he didn’t have the strength to pull himself up. The light subsided just long enough for him to make out a STAR Labs logo and with a small sigh of relief that he was safe he slipped into easy unconsciousness.
Oh that ’s-…that’s annoying. Can you-?
Cisco licked his dry lips as he realized sound wasn’t emerging from them clearly. A gritty sound had come from the back of his throat as he thought the words, but everything was dry and sore and someone was humming - out of tune - and it was driving him crazy.
He cleared his throat.
“Stop…”
It sounded weak, but at least it was the full word and not a garbled mess.
Luckily it worked and the humming stopped abruptly, though it was followed by a clipped sigh and a disapproving ‘hmm’.
Cisco opened his eyes. Closed his eyes. Open. Closed. Darkness. Open. Darkness. Closed. Darkness either way.
Oh shit.
“Am I blind?” Cisco hated how panicked he sounded in that moment. He shot out both arms in front of him as if he might feel his way back to sight. His palms collided with the person who was currently bending over him. As hands met unforgiving sternum, Cisco snapped them back and shook them out, as a grunt of mild pain and surprise came from above.
“Oh my God I’m blind-“
“Stop that-“
“I can’t see-“
Two hands clasped his flailing wrists and firmly pressed them back down by his sides.
“You’re not blind.”
Cisco went still. It was Harry.
He’d thought it was…Caitlin? No, not really, he just hadn’t let his brain think about which member of the team was tending to him. The blank wasn’t necessary to fill. But now it made even less sense. Why wasn’t it Caitlin? Why had they brought Harry all the way from Earth-2 to have a look at him if it wasn’t something really really bad.
“Calm down.”
Harry’s words were obsolete now as Cisco had gone completely still and silent at the sound of his voice. Harry cleared his throat and Cisco started to hear the gentle thrumming of medical equipment, the light shift of a blanket, the soft whir of a distant AC unit.
“I had to cover your eyes. Look-“ A hand curled around Cisco’s own and raised it to his head. Harry guided his fingertips to feel the soft gauze that was tucked neatly around his face. “It’s not permanent. And you’re fine. Mostly.”
“Mostly?”
“Do you remember anything from last night?”
“Can we go back to everything being ‘mostly’ fine? That seems more important.” Cisco had to trust that Harry was facing him when he stuck a pair of air quotes on the word mostly.
“Your eyes are sensitive to light.”
“Thanks I got that far.”
“If you’re asking me why, then I can’t tell you. Because I don’t know.”
“Perfect.”
“But my guess based on what I’ve observed and the tests I’ve been running overnight-“ Cisco heard the roll of wheels on plastic flooring as Harry scooted a stool away from the bed, then back again, presumably holding something with results on it. “Something is wrong with your vibrational frequency.”
“Wrong?”
“Even a minuscule shift in your universe’s placement could throw it off. Cue the headaches, the nausea, light sensitivity, whatever other symptoms you’ve been having.”
Cisco thought he could feel the subtle shifts in the air above him as he imagined Harry’s gesticulating fingers. Those familiar sharp motions he used when explaining something.
“I still managed to open a breach. Last night I-…has it really been a whole night? Huh…”
“I know you did. I saw you come through it.”
“But if something was wrong then how could I-?“
“Your body was flooded with adrenaline. Prime conditions for you, under normal circumstances, so maybe - hypothesizing here - but maybe you had a perfect storm letting your semi-conscious brain attempt to take you where you wanted to go.”
Cisco breathed out slowly. Everything still felt weird. Off. Like pins and needles, constantly pricking his skin, all over, and the air in his lungs felt cold and sharp.
“I don’t think it’s just my eyes. It’s everything- all my senses…”
“Yes. I know.”
“How do you know?”
“I already told you. I’ve been running tests all night.”
“Great.”
There was a pause and Cisco was uncomfortably aware of the silence. He put both hands up to his face and pressed experimentally at the gauze. It was very neat, a perfect line, and Harry had even placed some cotton pads over his eyes to make it more comfortable. How thoughtful.
“Well whatever happened- adrenaline or whatever, at least it worked and I ended up here.”
“And where do you think you are right now?”
“Uh…STAR Labs? Obviously?” There was a pause as Cisco waited for Harry to confirm, but when he didn’t say anything Cisco prompted again. “Well? This is STAR Labs, right?”
“Yes,” Harry said carefully. “And no.”
“Can you not be cryptic right now? I’m blind and I’m not in the mood-“
“You’re not blind-“
“Close enough!”
Harry sighed in that irritable way of his, breathing out sharply through his nose. Cisco could imagine the hands on his hips, the tightly pressed lips, maybe he’d even follow with that small shake of his head, the taking off his glasses to prove a point to all the inferior minds in the room. Cisco’s mouth twitched into a tiny smile.
“You’re in STAR Labs.”
“This is the worst game of trivia I’ve ever played.”
“You’re on Earth-2.”
“Oh.”
Later, Harry finally decided it was ok for Cisco to remove all the bandages covering his eyes. It had been some of the most excruciatingly frustrating hours of Cisco’s life. One moment he was having a conversation with Harry, ranging from catching up with the latest earth-to-earth gossip, to discussing their latest inventions, when Harry would just up and leave the room to answer an alert or take a call.
“You know I can’t tell when you’re leaving, right? You just let me sit here talking to no one until I realize you're not replying.”
“I can still hear you.”
“Then why don’t you answer?”
“Because it’s through comms. I don’t have a speaker set up on this end.”
“I’m rolling my eyes right now. You can’t tell, but I need you to know.”
Harry helped him sit upright and then Cisco could feel practiced hands working the knot at the back of his head free.
“Keep your eyes closed for a moment. I don’t want you hurting yourself.”
“That’s a first.”
Harry didn’t grace that remark with a reply. He continued to undo all the gauze until Cisco could feel the air on his eyelids again, finishing the motion by instinctively tucking a loose strand of Cisco’s hair behind his ear in a moment of uncharacteristic gentleness. Cisco felt Harry’s thumbs on the top of his cheeks just below his eyes. He could almost sense him looking deeply at him, a one-sided intense eye contact, then Harry’s hands slipped away and Cisco felt himself shift forward an inch as if he might catch them back. He swallowed and cleared his throat.
“I’ll examine closer when you can manage a brighter light, but they look ok to me.”
“Didn’t know you were an eye doctor.”
“I’m everything.”
“Handy.”
“You can open them now. Slowly. Slower than that-“ Another disapproving sigh. “Why is it so hard for you to follow instructions?”
Cisco winced as the dim light of Earth-2’s medical bay hit his pupils.
“Have you tried opening your eyes slowly? It’s sort of a one speed thing.”
After a minute or so, Cisco could keep them both fully open, though they were watering and he had to blink more than usual.
“Your other senses are going back to normal too. The sensitivity should fade by tomorrow morning.” Harry snapped his gaze away for a moment to gather up some items from a cart nearby. He’d turned the lights down as far as they would go leaving the room bathed in a candle-like amber. Chiaroscuro shadows passed over Harry’s face, his hands, sending a long shadow up the wall that Cisco followed with his mildly aching eyes.
“Here.”
Cisco looked at his glasses, held between Harry’s fingertips. A screwdriver resting in his other hand.
“I tweaked them.”
“Uh…thanks?”
“Next time you start having trouble, try taking your glasses off first. The frequencies were misaligned and it was making things worse.” Cisco took them from Harry’s outstretched hand. “I didn’t realize, otherwise I would have taken them off immediately, but without knowing what was wrong, and you unconscious, I didn’t want to-…” His eyes narrowed. “What?”
“Hmm? Uh, nothing, sorry.”
“Did you hear a word I just said?”
“Uh…something about misaligned frequencies, something something making it worse, glasses bad, now glasses good, anything else?”
“Don’t make me start worrying about you Cisco Ramon.”
Cisco thanked Harry for his help one last time as he opened his portal home. Harry had given him a pointed look, then a brief pat on the shoulder, and another brief speech about Cisco taking care of himself. It sounded more like a threat than a plea though.
“Thanks. Now I know where to come when shit meets fan.”
“This isn’t the Emergency Room.”
“Sure.”
“I’m serious. Ramon- I’m serious-“
But Cisco had just given him a wave and hopped through the portal, greeted by the cold air of Earth-1.
He blinked rapidly as a hundred golden lights spread out before him, clinging to street lamps and twirled around front door wreaths. How had he forgotten that? He stuck his hand out and opened the portal.
Harry didn’t even flinch as Cisco appeared before him again.
“What?”
“Merry Christmas.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s Christmas.”
“Yes. It is.”
“You didn’t say anything.”
Harry shrugged. "I didn't."
“My bad, didn’t realize you haven’t been visited by your three ghosts yet.”
Cisco hopped back through his portal and let it close behind him.
Through the front window of the house directly opposite he could see a glowing Christmas tree, a warm home, tinsel round the frame. He sighed and opened the portal again.
“What is it now-?”
“Come with me.”
Harry stared at him, expression flat. “Where?”
“I don’t know- dinner? You know there’s an invitation for you at Joe’s with all of us?”
“Not my thing.”
“I know that’s a lie. I know you’re not actually the grinch and you like being around other people, but you do the whole-” Cisco waved his hands in front of Harry’s folded arms. “Emotionally constipated thing.”
“The what?” Harry raised an eyebrow.
“You know, the whole-”
“Don’t say it again.”
“Is it so terrible to be close to people? To not shut yourself off? I’ve seen you when you’re part of a team, with all of us, it’s like you’re a totally different person.”
“Sounds like you want someone around who isn’t me. Maybe go find that person.”
“But it is you,” Cisco insisted with a break in his voice as he laughed incredulously. “Stop being so- so-”
“Emotionally constipated?”
“Exactly.”
“I’m not-” Harry’s arms unfolded and promptly both hands went to his hips. “Getting close to people means forming relationships. Relationships mean ammunition.”
“Ammunition?”
“To be used against me. It’s been done before. You know that. You of all people-”
“Yeah, sure, but.” Cisco shook his head. “It’s not better to be alone.”
“For me it is.”
“I don’t get you sometimes. How can you- oh my God look at you right now, stubborn as hell, and over what? Christmas dinner? Really?”
“It’s not as simple as-”
“You have friends. People who care about you. Right there.” He gestured through the portal. “A step away. Literally. But you’d rather be here? Alone? Because-because of some hypothetical scenario where one of them gets hurt?”
“One of them-? That's not-”
“I don’t want you to be alone.”
“And I don’t want you to-…I don’t want…”
“What? What?”
“I don’t want anything to happen to you, Cisco. To you. Because if I didn’t keep this all inside, if - God forbid - I made it obvious, to- to anyone, then I risk-…I risk everything. So-…don’t ask me to-…because if something happened, it would be my fault. Understand? Mine. And I can’t let that happen because of me.”
“Oh.”
Harry put his hands over his face and took a deep breath, sliding his fingertips down until his palms met, index fingers against his lips.
“Don’t ask me to explain,” he said. Voice low and quiet.
“You don’t have to.”
“I know it’s ridiculous.”
“It’s not.”
“You should go.”
“Harry, I-”
“Please go.”
Cisco tried to catch Harry’s gaze, to give him a look that he might find reassuring, something to stop the spiral his mind was hurtling down, but Harry was doing an award winning job avoiding eye contact.
“Go.”
“I’m going.” Cisco raised his hands placatingly. “I’m going.”
He stepped through the portal and landed back on the street. Cars were parked end-to-end as families gathered from out of state, cramming themselves into this little slice of suburbia. Joy emanating from every house, a happiness that everyone deserved.
Peace and love to all men, including the emotionally constipated.
Cisco reopened his portal. Closed it again. Reset the distance. Opened it again.
This time he arrived right in front of Harry, an inch of space between them. Cisco clasped his hands around Harry’s arms and tugged.
“Look at me.”
Harry seemed too startled to even try for a response, stunned into speechlessness for probably the first time in his life.
Cisco urged him closer until there was only half an inch between them.
“Hey. Down here. Yeah, that’s right, now listen. I’m saying this once.” Cisco locked Harry’s gaze. “Do I understand where you’re coming from? Yes, of course I do. I’m not an idiot, I know this is dangerous, there’s always gonna be a risk, but I wouldn’t give up any of my friends, my family, to make it easier for myself. Ok? It’s better to be afraid surrounded by the people who care about you than feeling nothing for the price of being alone. You can’t run from being human, Harry.”
Harry’s mouth had parted slightly in surprise, but he still couldn’t find any words. He looked down at Cisco’s hands, fingers curled in the fabric of his sweater, his wide brown eyes - so sincere, so kind - the soft lips, the loose curls, the strand of hair that fell to the side of his cheek. Harry reached up a hand and slipped that strand of hair gently behind Cisco’s ear, mirroring the motion he’d done earlier without thinking as he unwrapped the bandages. Had Cisco moved closer in that time? It felt like it. Somehow he was more…within reach.
“Cisco…”
“You’re coming to dinner.”
“Ok.”
“Ok?”
“I said ok.”
Cisco let out a sigh of relief and smiled, bright and wide, and something inside of Harry’s heart clicked into place.
Cisco let go of Harry’s arms and turned back to face the portal, still swirling behind him.
“Ok c’mon-”
“Wait.”
“What-”
Harry reached out to Cisco’s fallen hand, grasped it in his own and pulled him back to face him.
The kiss was impulsive, so after Harry pressed his mouth to Cisco’s and felt warm soft lips brush his own he wasn’t sure where to go next. He was grateful when Cisco took control, hands wrapping around his waist and dragging him closer, kissing him slowly, tenderly. Harry reached his hands up, raking his fingers through Cisco’s hair, pulling him in, feeling their bodies pressing against each other.
Harry pulled back first.
“Is this…?”
“It’s ok,” Cisco responded, a little breathlessly, licking his lips.
Harry held Cisco’s face in his palms, thumbs to cheeks, cradling him like he was the most precious thing in the world.
“I want to keep you safe.”
“Don’t go all soft on me now.”
“I’m serious.”
Cisco’s playful smile slipped into something more sincere. He nodded, reaching up his own hand, brushing fingertips against Harry’s cheek.
“Me too.”
Cisco leaned in to kiss him again, soft and slow, taking his time. The portal simmered shut behind them. There was no rush, they had hours to go before dinner, and Harry needed Cisco right now.
Almost as much as Cisco needed him.