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Tyler could barely contain his excitement. He was, for a lack of better words, like a kid on Christmas.
For now though, it was only Christmas eve. Tomorrow would bring the stockings and the presents under the tree, kiddos tearing open paper, and then to his in-laws for matching pajamas, and dinner, and the joyful overstimulation of having a big family.
But first - any minute now - Tyler would get to indulge in his favorite tradition of the last few years, lovingly dubbed “Daddy Christmas” by Jenna. Every December 24th since moving back to Ohio, Josh had picked Tyler up in the late morning for a few solid hours of cozy time together, before the craziness of the festivities set in.
“Okay sweets,” Jenna said, appearing with his backpack. “Got everything you need in here. Buuuut…”
“No peeking,” he finished quietly, trying to contain a soft smile. “I know!”
This was another tradition - a cozy way for Jenna to still be involved while she covered things at home for a while. An engine sounded behind them, and Jenna tilted her chin in the direction of the driveway.
“Looks who’s here,” she said, leaning down to kiss Tyler on the cheek, then the nose, then the other cheek. “Have fun with Josh, baby.”
Blushing under her touch, Tyler slung his backpack onto one shoulder. “Love you,” he whispered, and reached to open the front door.
Debby was already sliding down from the passenger seat, clutching a large shopping bag in one hand, and a tote full of gifts in the other.
“I didn’t know what you already had for sprinkles, so I just - well, I bought everything,” she called to Jenna, and Tyler heard her laugh something in response. “Merry Christmas, Ty Ty,” she called over her shoulder as she bustled past - but Tyler was already distracted, pulling the passenger door open and tumbling ungracefully into the front seat.
Josh beamed at him.
“Heya, cutie!”
Tyler bit his lip, trying to keep hold of himself at least until they were out of the driveway. At the door, Jenna was taking one of the bags from Debby, and as Josh made a three point turn, they both waved in the direction of the car.
“Hmph,” Tyler said quietly, watching them disappear into the house.
“Aw, Ty,” Josh said, “not wishing we’d stayed with the girls to make cookies, are you?”
Tyler had been, just a little - but the feeling was already melting away as he took in Josh’s smile. He was wearing a worn green Christmas sweater and joggers, and suddenly, Tyler couldn’t wait to get to Josh’s house, and into whatever snuggly outfit Jenna had packed him.
“Nuh uh,” he said honestly. “Wanna be with you.”
“Well good,” Josh said. “Because if we had stayed, you wouldn’t get the surprises I have for you at home!”
Tyler perked up. “Surprises?”
“Mhmmmm,” Josh said slowly, “but only if you buckle up!”
***
“…and after we watch both of the Bluey Christmas episodes,” Tyler counted off on his fingers, “we can watch The Grinch!”
The car ride to Josh and Debby’s house wasn’t long, but even a few minutes of alone time away from the chaos had been more than enough for Tyler to slip fully into little space.
“Bluey has Christmas episodes? I’ve never understood how Christmas works down under, without any snow!” Josh teased, shifting into park and unbuckling first Tyler’s seatbelt, and then his own.
“Daddy,” Tyler said with an exaggerated note of scorn, gesturing outside the windshield to Josh’s sprawling front lawn. “Do you see snow here?”
“Oh! Okay sassy,” Josh teased, leaning over to tweak Tyler’s nose, sending him into a fit of giggles. “Come on, you goofball.”
Josh slung Tyler’s backpack over his shoulder, and led him up the front walk.
Inside, Tyler sloughed off his boots and coat and made a break for the living room, dive-bombing onto the couch.
“Come ON, Joshie!” Tyler called, burrowing into the cushions.
Josh’s face loomed over his, upside down and grinning.
“Baby boy,” he said, “don’tya want your surprises, before you get all settled in?”
Tyler shot straight up on the couch. He had almost forgotten! He knew that his Big Tyler presents had probably already been dropped off at their house with Debby, but Josh always surprised him with a few extra special presents on Christmas eve. Sure enough, Josh returned from the kitchen with a gift bag, tufts of gold tissue paper issuing from the top.
“Merry Christmas, sweet boy,” Josh said, crossing a leg under himself on the couch and leaning over to kiss Tyler on the forehead. He handed the bag to Tyler and then sat back, opening his arms. They were experts at wordless communication by now; Tyler settled easily onto his lap, Josh wrapping a strong arm around his lower back as they nestled into each other.
Tyler held open the bag to reveal several tissue-paper wrapped parcels. He tilted the contents toward Josh, as if to ask which one first ? On another day, he might have been ripping into the paper - but for now, Tyler appreciated the soft intimacy of this moment, curled into each other as they were.
Josh tapped the largest, softest bundle twice with an index finger, and Tyler removed it gingerly, unwrapping it to find…
“Oh my - GOSH,” Tyler exclaimed, voice spiraling into an upper octave. “DINOSAUR!”
He swiveled on Josh’s lap excitedly, upsetting the gift bag, which toppled onto the floor.
“Yeah, Ty!” Josh laughed, settling Tyler’s knees on either side of his thighs, and helping him to undo the thick band of ribbon. He held up the Tyler-sized onesie, complete with a spine of floppy spikes, and a drawstring hood. “I bet Mama packed your regular penguin ones, but-”
“This one!” Tyler interrupted, bouncing on Josh’s legs. The quiet softness of moments before had quickly been replaced by jittering excitement, as Tyler tugged off his t-shirt, reaching for the onesie. “I wanna wear the dino!”
“Okay - hey, goofball,” Josh teased, gently wrestling him back down. “I guess you don’t want your other presents then, if you’re in such a hurry!”
Tyler made a show of an exaggerated pout and whine, clutching his knees to stay put as Josh leaned forward to pick up the bag.
“I knowwww,” Josh said in mock indulgence, “it’s so hard to have a Daddy who loves you and wants to give you presents, isn’t it?”
Josh squeezed his sides where he knew Tyler was ticklish; Tyler scrunched up his shoulders and wriggled as he reached for the next item in the bag. It was flat and thin, and Tyler held it gingerly as he peeled back the tissue paper.
A shiny cover revealed itself - the familiar Crayola logo, and then next to it…
“No WAY,” Tyler squealed, gaping at Josh and pointing at the bright orange tractor and the Kubota logo at the top of the page. “Josh, it’s -“
“A Kubota coloring - oof - coloring book!” Josh agreed, as Tyler flung arms around his neck, tackling him back into the couch. “Just for you, Ty Ty!”
Still shirtless, Tyler leapt up from Josh’s lap, depositing the coloring book on the rug in front of the couch. Josh kept the coloring supplies in his bedroom closet, and Tyler needed to find…
A set of warm, fuzzy arms caught him around the waist, and Tyler squirmed, giggling.
“Daddy,” he protested, “I need -”
“Crayons?” Josh said into his ear, pretending to gobble up the sensitive skin behind it. “Better look in your backpack then, baby.”
Tyler knelt by the couch and unzipped his backpack, only to find the barely used 24-pack of gel crayons that had been one of his birthday presents from Jenna.
“Mommy packed me crayons,” he said happily to himself, quieted by a swell of emotion for the people who cared for him so well.
“Of course she did,” Josh said, pulling him up. “We were in cahoots!”
Tyler let Josh help him wriggle out of his sweatpants, and into the legs of the dino onesie, shrugging the sleeves on, and flipping up the hood.
“Am I scary?” Tyler pronounced, scrunching up his face into a grimace.
Josh tipped his head back and laughed. “Mostly it’s just scary how cute you are.”
Tyler giggled, nibbling on the edge of his sleeve and shifting from leg to leg.
“Color now?”
“A’course,” Josh agreed. “But I almost forgot! Just one…more…”
He reached into the gift bag, emerging with the last and smallest of the tissue paper bundles.
“There ya go, Ty. Merry Christmas.”
He already knew what this was; it was something Josh got him every year. But that didn’t make Tyler any less excited to see what this year’s version would be.
Inside the tissue paper was a pack of pacifiers, the same color palette as the onesie - whites, blues, and greens - each one patterned with a variety of dinosaurs.
Tyler bit his lip and swayed, playing with the hem of Josh’s shirt as he smiled at him.
“Like ‘em, Ty?”
He nodded, slow and exaggerated.
“Wanna pick one out?”
Tyler shook his head, poking one finger into Josh’s midriff. “Daddy pick.”
“Oooh, that’s a big responsibility,” Josh joked. Tyler chewed some more at his lip, and Josh tilted his head, looking over Tyler’s face. “You okay, baby?”
Tyler nodded, words feeling like far away objects, out of his reach. He was suddenly overwhelmed by how easily Josh cared for him, how simple it was to feel unquestionably safe in his presence.
Josh selected a white pacifier with blue and green dinos, wrestling it from the packaging and slipping it into Tyler’s mouth.
“Time to color?”
Again, Tyler nodded, squeezing Josh into one last hug.
“I love Daddy Christmas,” he sighed around the pacifier.
The hood of the onesie fell back as Josh stroked through the tufts of his hair, and Tyler let his eyes flutter shut at the feeling of his warm hand. The chaos would come later. For now, it was just the two of them - the only people in the world.
“Me too, baby,” Josh said. “Me too.”