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When the light faded, Roland was gone. Evan felt his shoulders slump, and without realizing it, his feet carried him to the- his- throne. He sat on the edge, perched in the chair that suddenly felt a little too large, wearing a crown that was a little too heavy in a room where the air grew a little too still.
Roland was gone. The words rang in Evan’s head. That wasn’t new. So many people had left already, and more would leave eventually.
His mother had left first. Evan didn’t remember her, but he knew Nella and his father did. His father looked sad and distant whenever anyone mentioned her. Nella would smile sadly when he asked about her and say that she’d tell Evan more another time.
He hadn’t asked Mausinger about her, Evan thought. Maybe he would be more willing to tell. But-
It felt weird to talk to Mausinger, even now. Even though his father had forgiven him. Even though Evan had forgiven him. Sometimes, when Evan closed his eyes, he could still see his father. Deathly ill, fur pale and dull, eyes clouded and hands trembling.
In hindsight, of course it was poison. Of course it was Mausinger who administered the poison. How else could his father have gotten so ill? Who else could have gotten close enough to poison him so consistently? Evan often thought of what would happen if he had realized sooner. He could have talked to Mausinger maybe, convinced him… convinced him to do what? You were a naive kid, the hurtfully realistic voice in his head reminded him. Why would he have trusted you? No, with Doloran poisoning him, Evan alone couldn’t have talked sense into Mausinger.
Nella had died because of Mausinger too. On restless nights, Evan could still feel the frantic pounding of his heart as he fled, the dark magic licking at his skin like fire. He could feel Nella’s heart stuttering to a stop and the ever-so-slight chill of her skin before Roland yanked him away.
Roland had anchored him in that aftermath. Once the exhaustion and anguish had caught up with Evan, adrenaline abandoning his body, Roland had kept him moving forward.
“Your heart is still beating, even if their hearts have stopped,” Roland had said one night, when Evan had questioned if what they were attempting was hopeless. “It’s a burden to take on all of those big dreams, but…” So many months later, Evan could still recall the distant look in Roland’s eyes. “I’ve met many people who hoarded power. They crammed it into their being until there was no heart or soul left to speak of. They ended up surrounded by the same lifeless shells as themselves, all leeching on each other until they were all sucked dry. You, though. You’re…” Roland trailed off, hand clenching and unclenching as he searched for the right words. “You’re good. You’ll find people who’ll follow you to the ends of the world. You’ll… you’ll be fine.”
Roland had stood by his side from then. Of course Evan had never believed Roland had betrayed them. He wouldn’t have fought so fiercely so many times over if that was his final plan. He wouldn’t have guided Evan through the creation of the Declaration of Interdependence nor would he have handled negotiations with all the kingdoms. Evermore wouldn’t be anything near what it became if Roland hadn’t done all he did.
It should have been obvious that Roland would disappear, almost as suddenly as he had appeared in Evan’s old room. This world had never been Roland’s home. But selfishly, Evan had wished Roland would stay. Just a little longer, though Evan’s mind refused to quantify if “a little longer” was a few days or years.
“Evan?”
Evan missed the door sliding open and the sound of music drifting in, but Tani’s voice managed to draw him out of his thoughts.
“There you are!” Tani crossed the room, approaching his throne. When Evan didn’t greet her, the raising of his head as the only acknowledgement of her presence, she paused. “Evan?”
Evan slumped over, his head falling back down. He could tell something in the room was moving, but didn’t realize what or how until Tani was standing in front of him on the raised platform, eyes softened with worry.
“Is it something you want to talk about?” she asked. Evan brought his left hand up to his face, pressing the palm against his eyelids and nose.
“He’s-” Evan’s voice wavered and he cut himself off, only able to gesture at where Roland was minutes ago. “Roland-”
Tani stared at the empty space. “So he left, huh? Didn’t even get to say goodbye…” she whispered, almost afraid that acknowledging his absence would make it real. She hesitantly stepped forward again, before crouching in front of Evan. “Is… is there anything…”
“He’s gone!” Evan yelled, his voice echoing in the empty chamber. “Roland’s gone, and Leander will leave because Hydropolis needs him and Bracken will leave because Broadleaf needs her and-” He heaved, entire body quivering as he tried to draw in breath.
“Am I selfish, Tani?” he asked. “Am I selfish for not wanting them to leave?”
Tani moved again, this time to perch on the armrest of the throne to Evan’s right. She looked off into the distance as she spoke. “The boss isn’t my… “real” dad,” she began. “Did you know that?”
Evan shook his head.
“He found me, when my mom was dying. Decided to take me in. He’s the only reason I’m alive.” She stared at her own hands, uncharacteristically still in her lap. “But when I learned that… Well, I started wondering what my mom was like. And I felt terrible because the boss gave me a life but there I was, dreaming about a life with someone I’d never known. But… it’s not selfish, you know? Not wanting someone to be gone.” Tani smiled. “Took a long time for the boss to drill that into my head.” She paused.
“Moving forward’s hard,” she admitted. “But you’ll have me, and the boss, and Lofty, and everyone else in Evermore. And besides, Leander and Bracken will still be a boat or Zippelin trip away!” Her voice dropped to a sad whisper. “And… we’ll still remember Roland. He’ll be here.” She tapped her chest a few times, matching the beat of her heart. “Who knows? Maybe… he’ll find a way back to us.”
Tani let the words hang in the air. She opened her mouth, wanting to say more but unsure what more could be said, before Evan dragged her down into his embrace.
“Thank you,” he whispered, voice muffled as he buried his head against Tani’s chest. She wrapped her arms around him.
“Do you just… want to stay here?” Tani asked. “For a bit longer?”
Evan nodded.
So they sat, two kids on a large throne, silence and memories as their only companions. But, even in that silence, the air felt a little lighter, and the future seemed a little less dark.