Work Text:
“Cheng Xiaoshi, what have you done now?”
Qiao Ling is fuming, both hands on her hips as she regards Cheng Xiaoshi with an unamused look. To her right, Lu Guang is mirroring her expression, albeit the slight twitch of his lips trying not to show his amusement at the situation at hand.
The situation happens to be something utterly ridiculous but so in character, as Cheng Xiaoshi flaps his hand for them to stay quiet, letting out noises of distress as he motions for them to help him get out of this sticky situation. That causes Qiao Ling to scream out, uncaring of the looks thrown at them.
“Who even gets their tongue stuck on an ice sculpture?!”
Lu Guang sighs. Cheng Xiaoshi tries to say something only for it to come out as complete gibberish because yes, his tongue is indeed stuck on an ice sculpture.
“Cheng Xiaoshi …” Lu Guang says disappointedly as Qiao Ling continues to yell at him, now pinching his ear and twisting it while Cheng Xiaoshi howls in unintelligible pain, his long tongue poking out of his mouth as it is still stuck to the ice sculpture resembling a donut.
The passers-by walking past to witness this fiasco are exchanging hushed whispers and remarks, some giggling while a few are recording what’s happening. Cheng Xiaoshi is embarrassed, if his reddened face is conveying his exact emotion at the moment.
“I turn my back on you for one second and here you are licking this sculpture!” Qiao Ling yells, “This is so unhygienic and stupid of you, Cheng Xiaoshi!”
There is practically no one to help them, as they’re in the middle of a street just walking back to the studio. Lu Guang looks at the metal plate underneath the sculpture, finding out that it’s an art display that his partner had just licked, maybe he assumed the donut ice sculpture would taste like a donut.
“Let me search for what to do.” He pulls out his phone, ready to type away but Qiao Ling stops him.
“No, no. This is not the first time this idiot has got his tongue stuck on something. Can you grab some warm water somewhere?”
“There’s a cafe down the street.” He remembers them walking past the quaint shop, with its mini Christmas tree and colourful fairy lights wrapped around its window sills. Cheng Xiaoshi had whined wanting a cup of hot chocolate in this cold weather and Qiao Ling had berated him saying that they’re nearly home anyway.
“Great. Please go, Lu Guang. I’m going to monitor this idiot.” Qiao Ling throws Cheng Xiaoshi a glare, causing him to look sheepish. “I don’t trust him not to get his whole body somehow stuck to the ice too.”
Cheng Xiaoshi protests, eyebrows knitted as he struggles to show his displeasure. Qiao Ling just humphs , standing tall as she regards him with annoyance.
Seeing all this, Lu Guang walks away, striding down to the shop he remembers. It’s not that far, merely a few blocks away, but there is still urgency in his steps because even with Qiao Ling’s ever watchful gaze, Cheng Xiaoshi is simply a man full of surprises. It’s not only Qiao Ling who doesn’t trust Cheng Xiaoshi to be more idiotic, even Lu Guang himself thinks the same.
Queuing up, Lu Guang catches the person behind him whispering. “Oh my god, I was walking here when I saw a guy got his tongue stuck on an ice sculpture.”
“Wait, really?” Their friend incredulously says. Both of them giggle.
The tips of Lu Guang’s ears burning, he barely manages to shake himself off to properly order a cup of warm chocolate. He tries not to show any sign of impatience as he waits for it to be finished, immediately snatching it from the counter when his name is called.
Hastily heading out, he is both relieved and mortified to see Cheng Xiaoshi still has his tongue stuck to the ice sculpture. Relieved because Cheng Xiaoshi somehow has avoided sticking his entire face to it and mortified because they’ve garnered a larger crowd. Qiao Ling has her hands on her face and she is squatting down, seemingly done while Cheng Xiaoshi looks well. Cheng Xiaoshi.
They both are extremely glad when he approaches. Lu Guang hands the cup to her, and Qiao Ling is quick to stand up on her feet and walk towards Cheng Xiaoshi.
He looks exhausted and so done with everything, but he brightens when Qiao Ling opens the lid cover of the cup. “This is going to hurt a bit.” She warns before starting to pour it down.
Cheng Xiaoshi screams.
Lu Guang winces as Cheng Xiaoshi tries his best to show that he’s in pain without using his tongue, Qiao Ling is relentless as she pours the warm chocolate, it trickling down the ice sculpture and dripping off from his chin. Steam wafts up from the heated contact, and it seems to take ages, but Cheng Xiaoshi’s tongue moves bit by bit until finally it’s yanked free.
“BLERGH!”
Holding his tongue out, Cheng Xiaoshi fans his reddened tongue while Qiao Ling looks at him with disapproval. She sips the cup of leftover warm chocolate, refusing to speak as they both watch Cheng Xiaoshi feeling the consequences of his stupid action.
“M’ tang’ hewz!”
“What is he saying?” Lu Guang quizzically asks her.
Qiao Ling takes another sip. She pulls out her phone and takes a quick picture of Cheng Xiaoshi with his tongue out and a grieving expression. “My tongue hurts.”
Cheng Xiaoshi hobbles towards them, unsteady on his feet. His face is all scrunched up and when he finally speaks, it’s a groan. “M’ yaw hewz.”
Lu Guang looks at Qiao Ling.
“My jaw hurts.” She says before continuing sipping. It’s a signal that she’s no longer going to entertain the overall situation, leaving everything to Lu Guang and even Cheng Xiaoshi knows that he’s lacking attention from her as he turns to face him.
“Uu waa!!!”
“I can’t understand you.” Lu Guang simply says. He yelps when Cheng Xiaoshi drapes his arms around him, leaning his full body weight and nearly causing him to fall down.
“Uuu waa!!! Fish iw waihhh!!!”
He turns to Qiao Ling for help but she practically oozes off disinterest. Lu Guang hisses and pushes Cheng Xiaoshi’s wailing face away from him. “Cheng Xiao -”
“We’re going home!”
Qiao Ling exclaims before grabbing him by the sleeve and pulling him with remarkable strength. Cheng Xiaoshi yells in injustice, still unintelligible as he’s dragged away. Lu Guang sighs before following them.
Later that day, on the internet, the video of a man getting his tongue stuck on the ice sculpture will go viral - and there will be a letter of notice sent to the photo studio asking for compensation of Cheng Xiaoshi and his accomplices for ruining the public art, leaving cold chocolate all over the melted piece of donut as their evidence of wrongdoing.