Archive of Our Own ^beta

There were no lights.

No tinsel.

No garland.

He did not grow up with these things, and so, when the seasons turned and the world got cold, he never found a reason to buy them. He preferred the icy blue aura of the world coated in snow… undisturbed by gaudy red and gold light displays and ugly blow up figures in his neighbor’s front yards.

Maybe his neighbors thought he was a scrooge for not celebrating. 

Maybe they figured he wasn’t home long enough to enjoy it, his schedule with football keeping him away from the house more often than he’d like. 

Maybe, they didn’t think of him at all, which is what he liked best. To be able to fade into the background of everyday life. To hide amongst the masses and carry on living, just like he had always done. 

As a child, he had been jealous of the lights and the songs and the presents. It was something he had never received… at least, he never remembered receiving. Maybe once ,   when he was a small child, before his father had completely lost himself to the alcohol, his father had at least tried. There were no pictures to memorialize those days he didn’t remember, so all he remembered were was wandering the streets of   Berlin alone on the day of his birth, Christmas day, looking for something.

He couldn’t even remember what he was looking for at this point.

An escape, probably.

A warm meal, likely. 

A friend? Doubtful.

He was fine being alone. The two people he had needed in his life, a mother and a father, had cast him aside or beaten him, so what need did he have for literally anyone else?

Oh if only a 15 year old him could see the man he had become today.

Yoichi, curled up in the spot on Michael’s bed he had claimed for himself. 

Snoozing soundly, his cheek pressed against Michael’s shoulder like it had always been there. 

Yoichi had grand plans that were currently being foiled by the flight that had come in at near midnight… their first Christmas together. Yoichi had wanted to wake up early… make him breakfast in bed. He had even sent Michael a list of ingredients and supplies he would need for what seemed like maybe cinnamon something…. But he supposed Yoichi would have to make those for dinner, and Michael would happily allow him to serve him in bed, because he would not waste a moment of this. 

He had told Yoichi he didn’t celebrate Christmas. 

He had told Yoichi that he didn’t celebrate his birthday.

To which Yoichi’s only answer was a shrug and a smart response of “well I do.” 

Michael had rolled his eyes… told his boyfriend not to bother… it really wasn’t that important.  It never had been… so w hy… hy, on a random year, just because he had a partner now, would it suddenly be?

He didn’t celebrate his 16th birthday. That year, he was alone in the dorms of Bastard Munchen. Someone had left a gift of a new book at his door , most . It was most likely likely Ness who had asked him again and again to come visit his family with him. Of course, this offer was refused as from what Ness shared, his parents were just a completely different kind of awful, and Michael didn’t feel like playing nice just to avoid being alone. He read the book in its entirety before Ness returned to the dorms himself, and had started on the second in the series after picking it up at a local bookshop. That was enough. Ness didn’t even know it was his birthday.

On his 18th, he received many more gifts from teammates and coaches and fans alike. But he still didn’t celebrate. Now, Christmas was spent in his apartment all alone, watching and rewatching a game where he had choked and missed a game winning shot. The gifts? His manager insisted he keep a few… just as a show of good will. The rest were donated, not by his own order, to a local children’s shelter. Or so he was told. He had said to throw them all away. He didn’t want a single one of them. Especially not the particularly expensive Whiskey that was tucked neatly into his manager’s pocket after it was rejected. (Though, Michael thinks, it would be quite amusing to watch a pack of drunk 10 year olds trying to maneuver a playground at this time of year). 

Every birthday since had gone much the same way. People tried to get him invested. 

“It’s almost Christmas… got any plans?”

“Your birthday is coming up! How exciting!”

“Will Yoichi come and see you this year? Or maybe, you’ll fly to Japan for him?”

Michael had scoffed and ignored the questions, hoping that someone would finally, finally get the point that he hated the holiday. That he wanted nothing to do with it. That his birthday… 16, 18, and now 24, didn’t ever matter, and he could care less who celebrated him when he still wondered what his life would have been like if he had been born into a different life existsance .

But in moments like these… these rare, simple little moments… he almost felt human. Valuable. Loved. 

He told Yoichi not to bother… traveling during the holidays was insane… and he didn’t want Yoichi to inconvenience himself on his account.  Yoichi had responded that he wasn’t asking to come… but rather telling, as he had already bought the tickets and expected Michael to pick him up after his hours long flight from Tokyo. 

Which of course, Michael couldn’t say no to. 

It was chilly when Michael left his home… sky dark and inky black, punctuated only by the flashing lights of the holiday and the shining trees in windows as he drove past. His house looked so barren by comparison,and it almost made a tinge of regret ring out in his heart that he hadn’t prepared something for Yoichi.

But Yoichi didn’t care. 

Warming his hands under the back of Michael’s shirt, he sighed happily even as the clock ticked past one AM. They had barely shared a kiss at the airport, both exhausted as Michael picked him up at the curb, it much too late to consider parking his car and going inside. Yoichi hadn’t minded as he gave him a quick half hug, kissing his cheek as Michael hefted his suitcase into the trunk.

But that hug that he gave Michael as he entered his home… he clung to him, nails lightly digging into his skin as if he wanted to melt away and just be with him forever. Michael was tired, but as the hug lingered, he realized how glad he was that Yoichi had come.

For him.

He had endured a long haul flight on one of the busiest nights of the year. For him. 

Pressing his face into his hair, Michael kissed his forehead, announcing that it was time for bed, as Yoichi drowsily chattered on about his plans for the next day. He checked that Michael had obtained everything he asked for, before laying his head on his pillow and promptly falling asleep. Michael laid there beside him, watching him for just a few moments before wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close, right where he fit against his side like a perfect little puzzle piece.

And now they were here. His birthday was half over, but Michael didn’t even care. He hadn’t moved in what felt like 12 hours, though it was probably closer to ten, and all he could think about was the way Yoichi’s skin felt against his. The soft, smooth skin of his stomach, his shirt hiked up from a restful sleep and Michael’s wandering fingers. The weight of his thigh on Michael’s hip, cuddled up to him like he might the body pillow that resided in his room at home. The soft, steady breathing of a man in deep sleep, warming his cheek and lulling him closer to unconsciousness again as he wondered how lovely it might be just to spend the whole day in bed with Yoichi. 

Maybe they could watch a movie. Throw together whatever Yoichi had planned today for a meal and bring it back here with a warm drink and a card game. A perfect little world that consisted only of them and this bed and the hours that remained of the day. 

Yoichi roused slowly, surely expecting Michael to still be asleep as he inched his way out of his hold. Michael closed his eyes, pretending to still be slumbering, but he was no actor and he opened his eyes right away when Yoichi gasped at the time on his phone screen.

“Everything okay?” Michael asked, teasing in his voice as Yoichi slowly turned around. 

“My alarm didn’t go off and I overslept and I am so sorry. I wanted to make today special and -”

“I turned it off,” Michael retorted as he stretched his arms over his head, cracking his back with a satisfied sigh. “I saw you setting it before you went to bed, and I turned it off after you went to sleep.”

Yoichi paused, shock and disbelief on his face as he frowned.

“You said you wanted me to have a good birthday. And this is what I wanted. To sleep in. With you.” Michael shrugged as he rolled onto his side, patting the warm spot on the bed where Yoichi had spent the night. 

“But…” Yoichi’s eyes cast over towards the door, all of his plans of food and festivities slowly evaporating as Michael pat the bed again, urging him to return to the warmth of the covers. With a heavy sigh, Yoichi obliged, sliding back into his spot as Michael held open the covers.

But still, Yoichi was quiet, and Michael wondered if he had made a mistake. The day had always been more important to Yoichi than it was to him. Taking away the things Yoichi had planned for him almost felt like stripping him of his own gift.

This was all he wanted though. He didn’t ask for much, if anything. So having Yoichi there, tracing the lines of his tattoo with his fingers and enjoying a slow, easy morning with him was exactly how he wanted to start his day. 

“The best birthday I’ve ever had…” Michael whispered into Yoichi’s hair, quiet enough that Yoichi might miss it, but loud enough so Yoichi would know he’s speaking the truth. 

Yoichi lifted his head, blue eyes damp with disappointment and regret, even though he didn't do a thing wrong. 

“Really?”

“Of course,” Michael responded with a nod, cupping Yoichi’s chin in his hand as he led him downwards for a brief kiss. A kiss that became longer by the second, pausing here and there for a breath before Michael wrapped Yoichi in his arms, pulling him onto his chest with a bone crushing hug. Yoichi’s arms wrapped around his neck, similarly holding on to the most precious moment, with the most precious person in his life.

Michael didn’t ask for much. He didn’t want for much. All that he had, and all that he needed, was right there with him. 

Maybe next year, he would let Yoichi spoil him.

But this year, their first year together, this would be more than enough.  It was everything he had never had before, so it felt like so much more.