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Having a boyfriend during the Christmas season filled Reki with joy. It still blew his mind knowing he got to kiss his best friend and get kisses back. Telling Langa he loved him and being loved in return was the greatest gift of all.
When Reki had asked Langa how he wanted to spend their Christmas together, he shouldn’t have been too surprised when Langa pulled him into a sweet embrace and said, “As long as we’re together, I don’t care what we do.”
Reki suggested they meet at the skatepark and end the day at Langa’s to exchange gifts. The wind whipped through his hair as he skated a bit more carefully. Reki didn’t want the homemade gift he packed in his bag to rattle around too much.
As he got closer, he felt his stomach swoop at the thought of giving Langa something he had worked hard to create. Sure, he didn’t have much money to spend this year, but he had the time. And spending sleepless nights working on what he believed Langa would love was worth it.
“Reki!” Langa called out with a bright smile. Warmth bloomed in Reki’s chest as his boyfriend ran to him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “Merry Christmas!”
Reki nuzzled Langa’s neck and giggled out a giddy, “Merry Christmas,” of his own.
“Skating until sunset?” Reki asked with a raise of his brow, eyeing the messenger bag Langa only brought with him if he was planning on snacking all day long. A gentle blush splashed across Langa’s cheeks as he nodded. He slowly released Reki from his grasp in favor of pulling at his wrist.
“Please?”
As if Reki could ever say no.
Both of them dropped their boards to the pavement and set off to skate together. Reki found himself easily distracted from his own practice as he watched Langa take on new heights. It didn’t feel like all that long ago that he had introduced Langa to skating, and now he was surpassing anything Reki could imagine. Pride was generally the feeling that swelled up in his chest, especially when Langa would finish his set by pulling Reki in for a mind-melting smooch.
But of all the days for pride to be swallowed by something else, it had to be Christmas. Reki came to a stop against the half-pipe and noticed a crowd had formed behind the gate. Langa didn’t seem to notice, of course. He was far too busy crushing personal bests in speeding along grind rails and landing sick flips.
“That’s Snow! Isn’t he amazing?”
“I heard he’s gotten a ton of professional offers from talent scouts!”
“Why hasn’t he accepted any?”
“Snow is seriously the coolest!”
“I wish I could skate like him!”
Reki kicked his board up and hid himself from sight of anyone else. He grabbed at his chest with his free hand and let out a long sigh. Keep it together, Kyan. Don’t let jealousy ruin your first Christmas as a couple.
After a few deep breaths, he threw his board down and continued to skate. With any luck, the sound of his wheels on the pavement would drown out the crowd who didn’t even know he existed. There was no need to let a few people keep him from enjoying his afternoon.
“Where did you go?” Langa asked with an adorable tilt of his head when the two of them stopped for a water break. Strands of blue fell across his eyes. Reki allowed himself to smile, swallowing down the gross emotions threatening to cling to his throat. He gently brushed the hair aside and tucked it behind Langa’s ear.
“Just took a quick break to watch you be amazing,” Reki chuckled, leaving his hand to rest on Langa’s cheek. Langa leaned into his touch before turning to press a kiss to the palm of his hand. It wasn’t a total lie, but it felt like extra work to keep his smile as genuine as possible while Langa kept his glistening blue eyes on his. Reki knew Langa would be able to see right through any sort of falter in his expression, and he didn’t want to worry him on a day that was supposed to be fun and romantic.
Langa delicately tilted Reki’s chin and brought their lips together in a feathery-light kiss. Public displays of affection were still things Reki was getting used to, and he appreciated the way the love of his life considered his boundaries. The kiss was enough to rejuvenate Reki, filling him with a new eagerness to continue skating right where he belonged: next to Langa.
Of course, the crowd continued to whoop and holler every time Langa did something. Reki would receive a few claps and “way to go!” once in a while, but the praise was all falling on the prodigy. It became increasingly difficult to tune it out as the desire for validation began to consume Reki’s mind.
There was one person in particular that stood out from the rest of the crowd. Reki noticed a tall, older man in a button-down shirt and tie. A bit formal for visiting a skatepark, no doubt. But he cheered the loudest whenever Langa performed an impressive trick. Langa must have noticed him as well, as he skidded to a stop just in front of him. Reki stopped much farther back and watched the well-dressed man jog over to meet Langa.
“What a set!” The man exclaimed. “I’ve been watching you recently, Snow. Have you considered becoming a professional skateboarder? We could use talent like you!”
Reki felt a heaviness settle over his shoulders. His head began to spin as he stood in the background, just like he did at S. Another talent scout?
Langa rubbed his palm along his jeans and shifted the board under his arm. “I’m not sure if I’d qualify–” Reki winced, biting his tongue to keep himself from reminding Langa just how wonderful of a skater he truly was. But it turned out he didn’t need to step in when the older man held up his hand to stop Langa from continuing.
“My mistake. You wouldn’t need to try out for this. You are exactly what we’re looking for and believe your experience and passion would greatly boost our company’s image. Coming out for try-outs is merely a formality to get your name on the books. Think about it and give me a call after the holidays.” Langa was handed a business card before the man smiled and walked away.
That sour feeling in Reki’s stomach rose once more. This time, it was almost unbearable. An offer like that, coupled with the look of pure joy on Langa’s face had his heart beating heavily against his ribcage. Reki’s mouth went completely dry, which made it difficult for him to say anything at all. He knew he needed to congratulate Langa, and quickly, or he would look like the worst boyfriend on the planet.
Reki licked his lips and dropped his hands on Langa’s shoulder. “Whoa, dude! That’s amazing!” He forced a smile, squeezing Langa’s shoulders. Langa nodded a few times slowly, the evidence of almost disbelief etched across his face. Reki took that silence as an opportunity to jog over to their belongings and guzzle down half of a bottle of water.
“Are you okay, Reki?” Langa asked as Reki tossed his backpack over his shoulder. “You seem a little off.”
Reki rolled his board back and forth as he stared down at his feet. How was he supposed to explain his jealousy when, just a moment ago, he told Langa he was happy for him? A talent scout basically hiring Langa onto their team was a far better gift than the stupid handmade items rolling around in his backpack.
“Fine. Great, even,” Reki lied through a huge smile he hoped wasn’t too ridiculously fake. “It’s getting dark out. Let’s go, yeah?” Langa’s eyebrows pushed together as he nodded in agreement. He didn’t question Reki, but it was clear the fake smile wasn’t fooling anyone.
Skating home with a looming sense of sadness was not how he wanted to end their time at the park. He spent the whole ride to Langa’s apartment drifting slowly behind Langa, bogged down by his frustrating thoughts.
When they arrived, they kicked off their shoes and made their way into Langa’s room. “I’m going to call Mom real quick. Don’t try to sneak your gift before I’m back!”
Reki exhaled a light laugh. He had no idea where Langa would have hidden his gift, nor did he feel like looking. Take this time to breathe. Get your shit together, man.
Rather than get it together, Reki’s mind spun into the dark thoughts that shrouded over everything else. Listening to Langa explain what happened at the skatepark to his mother made Reki want to crawl into the closet in Langa’s bedroom and hide forever. He was supposed to be overjoyed for his beloved. This was a huge opportunity.
And he was so happy for him. Langa deserved the recognition. He deserved the praise. Yet there was the not-so-little voice in Reki’s mind screaming, What about me?
Reki had been skating for a lot longer than Langa. Reki was the one who introduced him to the sport and brought him to S. Reki was the one who taught him the basics, only to watch as he was surpassed in skill. He thought he was over those feelings, but here he was: holding a homemade gift in his lap on the verge of tears, wondering if he was good enough to stay Langa’s boyfriend when he ultimately accepted this job.
Before he could spiral further, Langa came trotting back into his room with his signature smile that was only reserved for Reki. “Sorry about that. Mom wanted me to call when–hey, what’s wrong, Reki?”
Langa quickly scrambled onto his bed next to Reki and caressed both of his cheeks. Reki didn’t realize a tear had fallen from his eyes until Langa gently wiped it away with his thumb. “Did I say something wrong? Was skating not actually how you wanted to celebrate our first Christmas together? Oh my gods, Reki, I–”
“No, Langa. God, I…” Reki shook his head the best he could while he was still being held. The last thing he wanted was to ruin their day, but lo and behold, that’s what was happening as he couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
“Talk to me. What’s on your mind?” Langa’s gentle words and firm hold were grounding.
Reki tore his gaze away from Langa’s worried eyes and stared at the wrapped gift he worked so hard to create for this special day. “N-nothing. I don’t want to ruin our date with my stupid anxiety.”
Langa sighed and moved his hands to rest on Reki’s. “You could never ruin anything. Here, let’s move this,” Langa took the box from Reki’s lap with care and set it on the nightstand. “Come here.” He held out his arms, inviting Reki to melt against his chest.
Listening to Langa’s heartbeat began to soothe the ache in his stomach just a little. Strong arms pulled Reki in closer and squeezed tight. Langa rubbed small circles around his back and pressed a kiss to messy red hair.
“You’ve been a little distant today. Are you sure I didn’t do or say anything wrong?”
Reki huffed and buried his face further in Langa’s shirt. “No, it’s my fault.” He sprang up from the bed and ran his hands through his hair. It was getting hard to breathe, and Reki needed to move around in order to get his words to cooperate.
Every raw emotion began to bubble up, and there was no stopping the word vomit. Reki began to pace the floor in front of Langa’s bed as tears streamed down his face.
“You’re amazing, Langa. You really are. I admire your skating skills so much. I just…I wish it was me getting scouted. Why don’t they ever notice me? Am I that bad at skating? I’ve tried so hard to get to where I am, but they only ever seem to see you. Which, gah! That sounds so bad. Because I’m so incredibly happy that they see you.”
Langa nodded with wide eyes as Reki continued.
“And what happens with us when you go pro? You get paid to do something you love, but I love it too! You’re leaving me behind. Not on purpose. I know you wouldn’t do that. But do I know that? I should!” Reki tossed his hands in the air before dragging them through his hair. “That guy gave you a way better gift than what I could ever give you. It’s nothing compared to an offer that incredible.”
Reki took a deep inhale and held it in his chest as he looked at Langa with half-open eyes. His heart was racing, unsure of how his boyfriend would react to every insecurity he ever had coming up on Christmas. Christmas was supposed to be a day full of happiness. It was a day to show the person Reki loved the most just how much he meant to him. Now, he had the chance to do just that, but here he was pouring out his insecurities instead.
Maybe he should have been more honest over time and he wouldn’t feel this way. If he talked about how he felt sooner, then perhaps he could have avoided this mess he was sure he was creating.
Langa rose from his place on the bed and reached for Reki’s hands. As he laced their fingers together, he took a step closer, forcing Reki to tilt his face to look at the taller boy.
“You know, Mom said that things happen for people at the right times.” Langa smiled, taking one hand to cup Reki’s slightly damp cheek. Reki sighed and swallowed the lump in his throat.
“I know. I’ve heard that, too. I just keep thinking about why it isn’t my time,” Reki glanced down at their feet before continuing. “Isn’t that so selfish?”
Langa shrugged. “Maybe. But Reki, my love…look at me.” Reki’s chin was guided by Langa’s index finger, forcing Reki to meet the most stunning eyes he ever had the pleasure of looking into.
“Me getting scouted doesn’t make you any less of an amazing skater. You don’t have to worry about me leaving you behind for a career in skating.”
Reki was able to crack a small smile, remembering Langa’s desire to skate infinitely with him. Yet his smile fell when the happier thoughts couldn’t shake away the bad ones. “But this was…my thing. Then it was our thing, and now–”
“It’s still our thing,” Langa interrupted. “I’m going to need your help in this, anyway. I don’t trust anyone to fix up my board except for you. That’s a talent I don’t have. That’s a Reki exclusive.”
The authenticity and seriousness in Langa’s tone made Reki laugh. His heart fluttered a little at how genuine Langa was. He leaned into Langa’s touch and felt some of the weight begin to truly lift from his shoulders.
“A Reki exclusive? You’re so cheesy, Langa.”
Langa hummed and began to twirl his finger into Reki’s curl, just above his eye. “I mean it.”
Reki snaked his arms around Langa’s waist and leaned into the minute space between them. Langa met him halfway, pressing their lips together softly. The warmth of Langa against him was both intoxicating and grounding. It was a pleasant reminder that Langa was a man of his word. Reki parted his lips slightly, deepening their kiss, and ran his hands through soft strands of blue. Langa sighed contentedly against him as they pulled away in unison.
“Sorry I got so worked up,” Reki dropped his forehead against Langa’s. He retrieved the gift that they had set on Langa’s nightstand. “Here. It’s not a job offer, but I worked really hard on it.”
Langa rolled his eyes and pulled Reki to sit on his lap. “A scout approaching me at the skatepark can’t even come close to a homemade gift from you, Reki.” He pulled the ribbon from the wrapped box with care and slid his finger between the wrapping as if it were the most fragile item he ever held. Reki held his breath while he watched Langa trace the wooden box that had the real gift inside.
“Your woodworking never ceases to amaze me,” Langa commented as his finger followed the engraved infinity sign that sat beneath the word FUN. “And there’s something inside?”
Reki nodded and swallowed. Butterflies erupted in his stomach as Langa removed the lid and gasped. “Reki, these are…”
Langa removed two rings and held them up, his eyes flicking back and forth between the two. Each one had been welded and set by Reki’s own hands. They were as smooth as he could get them, as Reki realized sanding down the bearings to make rings was a bit more difficult than he imagined. But for Langa, it was worth it.
On the outside of the rings was an infinity symbol, much like the one on the wooden box. The only difference between them was one had a light blue stone while the other was yellow.
“I um, saved the trucks from your old board. And uh, I thought that it would be cool to use the bearings,” Reki found himself stammering. He scratched at the back of his neck while Langa continued to inspect every detail of the rings.
“There are two here,” Langa whispered, finally looking at Reki. Reki felt his face heat up as he played it off with a smirk.
“I wanted us to match! But you can choose which one you keep and which one I get to wear.”
Langa pushed the ring with the yellow stone onto his finger. Everything inside of Reki burned with excitement seeing it fit perfectly on his boyfriend. Langa held his hand up and fiddled with the ring with a glimmer in his eyes. He took Reki’s hand and slid the one with the blue stone onto his ring finger, kissing his knuckles just in front of where it settled.
“Is this a proposal?” Langa asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Reki’s eyes flew wide open. He pulled his hand away to cover his face properly as he groaned in embarrassment.
“Langaaaaa! That’s not…we’re too…oh my god.”
Gentle hands pried Reki’s from his face. Langa erupted into a fit of giggles. “I’m kidding! Here, open mine before you burst into flames on my bed.”
Reki pouted, attempting to scowl while Langa reached under his bed. He procured a gift bag and pushed it into Reki’s lap. The tissue paper was already falling out, making the opening process quick and easy.
“An otter?” Reki cocked his head to the side, holding the adorable stuffed animal out in between him and Langa. He shoved the gift bag away with his elbow. Langa nodded as Reki tried to remember if he ever talked to Langa about otters. Or any animals for that matter.
He smiled at Langa and hugged the soft plush to his chest. Langa scooted closer and pointed to the heart the otter’s hands were making that Reki missed upon taking him from the bag.
“Remember when we learned about otters in biology?”
Reki bit his bottom lip and shook his head. Langa deflated a little, to which Reki quickly responded with, “That’s a me problem!! Please, continue!” He linked their ringed hands together and squeezed, hoping the touch would encourage Langa to explain.
“These types of otters um…they mate for life. And I just thought, ‘Wow, that’s so cool. My parents were each other’s otters.’ And when we started dating, like for real, I realized that I want to…be your otter, Reki.”
For the first time all day, Reki felt speechless. His mouth opened and closed a few times in an attempt to will anything to come out. All he could do was smile and stare at the person he was so lucky to call the love of his life. “Langa…”
He looked down at the otter and then back up at Langa. “Now who’s proposing?”
“I’m all in, Reki. A professional skateboarding career really just means I owe you so much.”
Reki shook his head so hard his headband threatened to fall into his eyes. “You don’t owe me anything, Langa. But thank you,” he squeezed the otter tight against his racing heart. “I love it. And I love you.”
Langa beamed and pulled Reki’s face to his, keeping barely an inch between their lips. “I love you, too. Merry Christmas.”
Reki pushed his lips against Langa’s with enough force to knock him flat on his bed. Langa immediately wrapped Reki in his arms and peppered his face with kisses. The anxiety had faded, leaving room for Reki’s heart to swell with joy.
It didn’t matter that Reki wasn’t perfect. Langa was his best friend and boyfriend all in one, and he would be there to catch him when he fell. Reki could see them spending every Christmas that followed together. Opening up to Langa and being reminded that he was wholly treasured, insecurities and all, was the greatest gift of all.