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Christmas Day, 7:04 AM.
Aside from dozing on the couch in half-hour bursts, Suletta had been awake since around that same time yesterday. She was keeping watch by the front door, and no one could persuade her to take a break (the two minutes where she dashed to her room to take her estradiol shot notwithstanding). Any second now, a car might pull up to the driveway. She had to be there when it did.
Miorine was coming home today. Technically, she was supposed to have come home yesterday, but a 10-hour delay set her back by quite a lot. Not too uncommon for the holiday season, but that did little to keep her from being disappointed.
Whether it was 10, 20, or 100 hours, she would wait. Long business trips for the company had just become the norm for Miorine, not content to simply take the easy route in life living off their family’s already considerable wealth. It was one of the things Suletta admired most about her – that need to make something of herself, to always be moving forward and accomplishing her dreams.
She couldn’t ask for a better sister.
They’d met in high school in the first year class. Things were rocky at the start with Suletta making a terrible first impression as she so often did, but that didn’t last. Before long, they’d become friends. Inseparable by their second year. Heat still rose to her cheeks when she thought of all the times her friends would tease her about her “crush” on Miorine.
Shamefully, though, they weren’t exactly wrong. Selfish as she was, a part of her could never be content with their relationship being simply platonic. That part of her yearned for something more. To hold her in her arms, to know she was the only person for her in the entire world, to maybe even kiss. In her wildest fantasies, these feelings were even reciprocated.
But in their final year of school, everything changed. Their mothers were, unbeknownst to either of them, friends from quite a ways back. More than friends, even. All this time, they’d had the kind of relationship that Suletta always dreamed of having with Miorine, and with the two of them no longer being attached to their respective husbands, nothing stood in the way of their union.
It was the ultimate irony. Their mothers’ relationship had forever cut her off from the one Suletta had always wanted, and all because their friendship allowed them to reunite. Still, they were family now after the marriage. That was nothing to look down on. She loved Miorine and Miorine loved her. Just in a different way than she might have wanted all those years ago.
That was neither here nor there. Five more minutes had passed with no sign of Miorine. So, she’d continue to wait, no matter how much it made her feel like a puppy desperate to see its master. She was determined to be the first to greet her once she arrived.
It had been a rough month and a half. She missed her sister dearly. They’d been able to talk virtually every day, but it wasn’t the same as seeing her around the house. Sitting down to dinner with her. Watching TV bundled up on the couch together. Those lingering looks that that selfish part of her always read into even now.
The wait was pure torture. She could hardly do anything but stare out the window, her brain fully occupied with imagining everything they’d do once Miorine was no longer on the other side of the country (or stuck in Dallas, as the case may be). All the things they’d talk about, the food they’d share, the presents they’d open. How happy their mothers would be to finally have her back. Everything would finally feel right again.
Snow crunched outside, the hum of an engine coming towards and finally idling outside the house. Suletta’s head shot up from the book she was struggling to read for the last 20 minutes, spotting a sedan by the curb. She could just barely make out the shine of silver hair through the car window, Miorine stepping out from the rear of the vehicle a few seconds later.
Suletta sprinted for the door, bouncing on her heels as she unlocked it. A few more seconds and she could hear footsteps and the clack of suitcase wheels against concrete. She was home.
Flinging open the door, it took every ounce of willpower in Suletta’s body not to tackle her into a hug right there on the front lawn. Instead, she spread her arms wide, allowing Miorine the chance to reciprocate.
“I missed you, too,” her sister told her, thankfully taking her up on the offered hug. They held each other tight, swaying gently on the threshold of the house. For as much as they each had to say after so long apart, no more words felt necessary in that moment. Despite the blanket of fresh snow across the entire county, neither of them seemed to notice the cold.
Regretfully, Suletta just had to go and ruin things, unable to keep herself from breathing deep with her face pressed into Miorine’s shoulder. Lavender, just like she always wore.
To make up for it, she tore the two of them apart, gesturing for her to come inside. “Hurry! It’s freezing.”
Miorine laughed, Suletta feeling at least ten times lighter just from hearing the sound. “I’m coming, relax. Not like I want to be stuck outside all Christmas.”
Shutting the door, they headed to the kitchen. “Fresh coffee,” Suletta told her, doing her best to keep from skipping around the room. Truthfully, she’d made a new pot almost every other hour, drinking it to stay awake all night in case the flight finally arrived.
Miorine took a sniff, rolling her eyes. “Same shit as always. My mom still hasn’t learned how to taste since I’ve been gone.” Despite her complaints, she poured herself some into a mug Suletta had used previously. She took a sip, only grimacing a little.
She furrowed her brow, setting the mug down. “Ah, yeah. Forgot.” Miorine reached into the pocket of her heavy coat, taking out a small, black box adorned with a red bow. “Got you something.”
Suletta took the box, a wide smile spreading across her face. “You got me a gift?” It wasn’t like she didn’t expect Miorine to give her something for the holiday; she was her sister, after all. They’d exchanged gifts dozens of times over the time they’d known each other.
It was something about her already having it with her, though. That she wanted Suletta to have it so badly that she’d kept it in her pocket this whole time. Since getting off her flight? Before boarding? Since she got up the previous day?
Miorine shrugged. “Not much, so sorry if it’s disappointing.” She gestured towards the box before unbuttoning her coat. “Open it, come on.”
The truth was, though, that it wasn’t even necessary, since there was no better gift than Miorine herself. When the possibility that she might be stranded somewhere first came up, Suletta had been heartbroken. Already gone for so long, and then they wouldn’t even be able to spend Christmas together? It just wasn’t right.
But that didn’t come to pass. There she was, standing in the kitchen with her, safe and sound and finally home. All was right.
Suletta peeled the bow off the top of the box, waiting for Miorine to turn back after she finished tossing her coat onto the kitchen table before sticking it to the front of her sweater. Miorine exhaled a laugh, looking puzzled.
All Suletta could do was smile, feeling both relief and joy overwhelm her. “Just…” Her grip tightened on the box. “You’re my present this year.”
Suletta couldn’t help but laugh at how embarrassing that felt to say. Miorine wasn’t laughing, though. Anything but, in fact. She seemed distressed, eyes full of pain as her lower lip trembled.
Before Suletta could even ask her what was wrong, Miorine moved forward, taking her in her arms. She looked up at her so tenderly, hugging her tight, making Suletta feel like she was the only thing that existed in the whole world.
“Mio-” She was silenced by her lips. Before she could even register what was happening, Suletta had already settled into the kiss. She’d dreamed of this moment for so long, hidden away as a secret shame she never dared to speak of. A dream she never wished would come true. It couldn’t come true.
But it did, and it felt right. More than right; it was meant to be. Like a piece of herself she’d been missing was finally found, slotting in and making her whole for the first time in her life. All because of Miorine.
For just a moment, she let herself dream. Her control slipped as she imagined how their lives could have gone. Things could have been so different. They could have kissed for the first time at the party senior year, stumbled home drunk and done what felt natural instead of sleeping back-to-back to ward off temptation. They could have talked about their feelings, figured something out instead of pushing all of it down. Maybe it could have been the two of them walking down the aisle a few years back.
It ended in a second, the two pulling themselves apart once reality came crashing back in. Tears pricked at the corners of Suletta’s eyes, guilt quickly overshadowing everything she’d been feeling just moments before. This wasn’t right. This couldn’t happen.
Miorine, too, looked on the verge of tears, mouth ajar and eyes wide. She was in disbelief at her own actions, at the line they never should have crossed.
Neither knew what to say, standing and staring at one another. Cold fear gripped Suletta’s heart, her entire world feeling like it was about to come apart at the seams. There was no going back. It really happened. What were they supposed to do now?
Before either of them could say anything, steps creaked from across the house. Their parents were awake and heading towards the kitchen. There was no explaining this. No excuses they could make.
What were they supposed to do now?