Work Text:
Jisung was giddy throughout the tour solely because of how STAY reacted to his solo stage. First, it was the rainbow confetti; while netizens usually told people it was up to interpretation, the meaning couldn't be anymore obvious. Then, the flirting with a special someone on stage became much more obvious, and finally, changing the lyrics of his song.
As expected, clips of him adding ‘Leeknow-hyung’ before announcing the last ‘baby, hold my hand now’ blew up in their fan community, with netizens conspiring and interpreting each individual hold of he and Minho’s hands and every look they shared. The members, by now used to these types of situations, could only clap their hands in congratulations, happy for the two testing the waters of coming out. Jisung would've gone live and told STAY themselves, but he knew a big part of their Korean fanbase wouldn't take that lightly, as cruel as the truth was. All he could do then was sing some songs, dance a little, and– unless the rabbit was gliding a finger down his back or slapping his butt– admire Minho from afar.
They were now in Osaka for their DominATE Tour, and Minho’s flirting only got worse, not to say Jisung hated any of it. He seemed to be especially clingy and constantly needed his attention, but Jisung relented for the sake of their image.
The time for his solo had come. He discussed things with Minho one last time– he’d look back at Minho approaching him at the end of the stage while changing the lyrics again, locking eyes for a couple seconds till ‘Youth’ played in their ear pieces. It was short yet sweet, a simple plan for fanservice.
Jisung huffed as he reached for the ivory white guitar, strumming the chords swiftly to check if it was plugged in. He poured his heart into the last chorus while simultaneously strumming, taking in the sold-out stadium chanting along with him as they nodded their light sticks with the beat. His bright gummy smile was as genuine as it could ever be, and his eyes sparkled with sentimentality tingling his voice.
By routine, Jisung added his hyung’s name before singing the final line, looking back to see an approaching figure with a beautiful bunny smile and crinkle in his cat-like eyes. Jisung bowed and reached for the mic stand– or rather, struggled to reach for the mic stand– and set it aside, not breaking eye contact with Minho once. But it wasn't like he could, anyway– Minho had that passionate smile on his face, pink blush under his eyes gazing at him so intently. Jisung’s smile became nervous as he stared, knowing they didn't have much time yet relishing in their planned moment.
Jisung couldn't bear to blink, unable to look away from Minho for even a second as the surrounding air became a misty pink as the floating confetti he threw became rose petals. He wanted to reach for his hand– it would be one more piece of fanservice for STAY, right? Or would it be too much? Was this too little? These things and others rushed through Jisung’s mind, the shattering reality that this was all they could do– stare at each other as time stopped for the universe they’d fall into together, to escape the expectations of their fans, the industry, everything– hurt him deeply, but the pain felt numb to him as Minho’s smile faded to show his uncertainty, too, the lingering feeling of each other’s lips on the other.
Could they kiss in front of the crowd? Just this once? Jisung didn't have a goddamn care anymore– not one in the world. He wanted to grab his boyfriend’s face and kiss it, to let everyone know that this was who he is and always has been and the person he’s been with for all these years. He wanted to let everyone know that this, all of this, wasn't just fanservice. And Jisung knew Minho was thinking the same damn thing, a lip quiver replaying in Jisung’s mind like the cheers of STAY watching them through the big screen. This was all they were able to see– two idols stare at each other so longingly as the barrier of their image separated them by a thin ribbon.
How Jisung and Minho longed for change, to take that big step in their relationship and just kiss for once– let all of that stress of keeping a good public image fall to pieces. The idea of kissing Minho was almost too strong to resist as his hands grew clammy and restless. He knew Minho felt the same way– oh, why couldn't they just be who they were? It was always about their image, the industry, the fans– what about them? The two of them, who’ve been caught numerous times on camera acting as if the camera was never there, who abuse the coverage that fanservice is and confuse their fans for the sake of having physical contact. Jisung didn't like confusing STAY, but neither did he like the idea of ruining everyone’s image because he simply liked someone. He liked Minho. He liked the guy he was gazing at with such longing, with such sparkles in his eyes.
They heard a loud song suddenly play in their ear pieces. The rush of blood ended as he faced the full stadium, light sticks shaking with excitement. Jisung faced Minho once more with a guilty smile, waving goodbye as he ran away for Minho to start his solo. He turned back to the curtain leading to the backstage area, trying his hardest to erase the image of his boyfriend’s faux smile at the reality of him leaving. How long had they been staring? Four full days, or four seconds? Jisung knew it was only four seconds, but savoring such a moment made his cheeks flush after meeting the backstage curtain, running the black fabric through his hand to open it. He looked back once more to see his boyfriend performing. He had pure joy on his face– as expected from the performance– as he danced with his back-up dancers.
He stopped himself from staring once again and entered, removing the guitar from around his body and giving it to a staff member, who quickly swept away to unplug it. Jisung grabbed one of the portable fans as Hyunjin pulled him towards the members to congratulate him for his solo. And while the smile on his face while other members hyped him up was genuine, there was one thought biting at the back of his mind.
When will the time come when I can kiss him?