Work Text:
The Iron Bull wasn’t scared. He had faced all his fears in the Fade, walked out and came out fine. He didn’t get frightened easily. He was a giant, a damn good fighter too. So no, the Iron Bull wasn’t scared. Except he was. In fact, he was terrified.
He was looking at the scene in front of him, trying to see through the dust that was floating around. There had been an explosion. A big one. Now there were piles of rubble around. Something was burning. It was difficult to see anything. So he yelled.
“KADAN!” Iron Bull’s voice carried far. It was deep and powerful, filled with worry. The desperation could be heard as he repeated the word. The word that was only meant for one person. That one person who had somehow managed to teach him to love. He kept shouting, hoping to hear anything. Sometimes his shouts got weaker, sometimes his voice broke.
There was no response.
He hurried with his steps. He looked and looked, but could not find. No-one answered his calls. His chest felt tight. He didn’t stop looking.
When the dust started to set, it was easier to see. The evening sun was warm and dyed the floating dust with an orange hue. It would’ve been beautiful. But nothing seemed beautiful to Bull now. Not when his stupid, brave little elf wasn’t there. Where was he?
He saw it then. The tiny body of Ruen, his kadan, lying underneath a pile of rubble. Bull ran. It felt as if he had never ran as fast as he did then, yet at the same time it was as if he couldn’t get closer no matter how fast he moved his feet. Like a nightmare.
But he did finally reach the unmoving body. With rage he threw the rubble away, snarling as he did so. He needed to get to his kadan. When it was all gone, he could see how damaged and broken Ruen looked. There was a lot of blood. Bull’s trembling arms gently gathered Ruen in his arms, shaking it slightly with hopes of waking the elf. Nothing. Ruen did not breathe.
“No-nononono”, Bull breathed out, desperation straining his voice.
“Kadan, Ruen, please…” he caressed the tattoo under Ruen’s eye, just like he liked to do in the mornings to wake the other man up. There would be a small smile, a soft sigh and then the eyelashes would flutter open, showing the green and brown in Ruen’s eyes. But this time those beautiful eyes remained closed. Bull wanted this to stop. He wanted Ruen to stop being so… dead.
“Katoh… katoh…” Bull choked and leaned down to kiss the lips he had kissed so many times before. They were as soft as he remembered, but cold. So, so cold. They didn’t turn into a smile against his lips, like they used to. The fear he had felt turned into pain. Bull could handle pain. The scars around his body proved it. It was never a big deal. But this pain was different. It was filling him from the inside, a thick darkness that left him unable to breathe. Bull embraced the small body tightly against his own, not wanting to let go. Not wanting to believe what was happening.
He didn’t expect to feel a small hand find its way to his cheek, gently guiding him back to a kiss.
“I’m alright.” A quiet whisper against Bulls lips. Warm breath. A smile. And the Iron Bull was alright as well.