Work Text:
“Lu Guang. . .”
Lu Guang blinked, finally breaking free from his shock at the injured man in front of him. He wordlessly rushed to his feet and put Cheng Xiaoshi’s arm over his shoulders. The taller man staggered and let out a weak gasp in pain at the rough movement, but right now Lu Guang couldn’t think about that; they both just needed to get to immediate safety. He was acutely aware of the stranger calmly stepping away to retrieve his firearm, and knew that in any second he’d be back for more bloodshed.
The two staggered towards the darkroom, with Cheng Xiaoshi collapsing forward to the ground the second he stepped inside. Lu Guang wasn’t able to focus on that, and instead whirled around to focus on sliding the door shut behind them. His muscles tensed as adrenaline rushed through his veins, giving him the ability to shut the door in a speed that he’d never had before.
He saw a flash of crimson in the final crack of openness, before he brought the door fully to the side and locked it from the inside. A final gunshot was heard less than a second later, as the stranger hadn’t hesitated at all to fire his gun one last time at them.
Lu Guang rested his forehead on the door, shaky breaths escaping his lungs. They were safe. However, compared to the panic and rush of the events that happened just seconds ago, the room was much more silent. He stiffened, realizing that the only sound in this place were his own gasps for air. He turned around to glance at his companion. “Cheng Xiaoshi-”
Black irises dilated in shock once more at the sight before him. Even in the red light of the darkroom, he could very clearly make out Cheng Xiaoshi’s helpless position on the ground as red liquid pooled out from his abdomen. His chest rose weakly, and there was barely any breathing coming from his slightly parted lips.
Lu Guang stared at the scene before him in horror. Memories of this same view came back to him, and for just a second it was like he was possessed by past reincarnations of himself from different timelines.
“You can't save them. You can only watch.”
“Cheng Xiaoshi!” The white-haired man broke himself free from his trance and shouted his partner’s name. He hurried to his side, rolling the other onto his back to analyze his condition. “Hang in there! Please, Cheng Xiaoshi!” His words became like desperate cries that went unanswered.
He took in his friend’s appearance; a trail of blood falling from his lips, and the gunshot wound pouring out more blood through his clothing. His heart ached as he watched the other wince in pain from the movement and weakly cough up more of his life. However, Lu Guang couldn’t be distracted by his pain, and immediately pressed his hands onto the bloody injury on his abdomen. Cheng Xiaoshi let out a faint gasp of discomfort, and Lu Guang could still feel blood gushing through his fingertips.
It isn’t working! Lu Guang thought in his horror as he realized there was nothing he could do. His skin was stained with his best friend’s blood, and for a moment it looked like he himself was the one responsible for this. It was just like every other time he’d gone back.
Cheng Xiaoshi would always die, and no matter what, he was powerless to stop it.
“Lu Guang. . .” Cheng Xiaoshi’s weak voice pulled him out of his mind once more, and he met the other’s lidded eyes. The dying man placed Lu Guang’s hands in his own, perhaps trying to offer some sort of comfort to him in his final moments.
“I’m sorry. . . Save. . . them. . .”
His golden eyes dulled, and Lu Guang could feel the all-too familiar sense of new abilities rising up inside him. Tears welled up in his eyes as he watched Cheng Xiaoshi’s life slip away right before him again.
“Take my powers. . . Save them, please.” Words from a past timeline came back to his mind at that moment.
“I can’t,” he breathed out. “Cheng Xiaoshi. . .” His tears only came faster with every heartbeat that he had without his partner there. He placed his hands back onto the other’s wound. “No, I can save you. Just give me a moment, and I can save you. I-I can call an ambulance! Please, don’t go again!”
Of course, Cheng Xiaoshi kept silent. He was dead, after all, and his body was already losing heat.
“I can wait for however long until you decide to come back out here,” A muffled voice spoke from the other side of the door, practically sneering at the two of them trapped in the room. “I told you I would make you pay, and I intend to hold my words to truth.”
The door shook as the stranger rammed his heel into it, but it remained securely shut. “Come out, little kitten, so I can finish what I started.”
Lu Guang momentarily looked towards the door, only to decide on ignoring the other person. Whether or not he broke in here, he didn’t care anymore. He buried his face into Cheng Xiaoshi’s chest as sobs overtook his being.
“I can’t do this anymore,” he confessed to the corpse with him. “You keep giving me your power to go back to save everyone else, but what about you? Why do you always throw yourself in front of me? Why do you never care about me saving you?” A shudder overtook his body as he realized he was forgetting to breathe. He gasped subconsciously, only to freeze halfway. “I’m sorry, Cheng Xiaoshi. I can’t keep watching you die. I can’t keep living while you can’t.
“It would be better to end this once and for all for the both of us.”
Hearing himself utter those words, he sat back, as if hit by an epiphany. His tears stopped for just a few seconds at the realization.
That’s right. . . It’s my fault everyone keeps dying. They’re all destined to die. . . No matter what, I can only bring them more suffering in the next life.
He looked to the door once more, where the blood-hungry predator was waiting patiently for him to emerge. For a second, he considered opening it to let him finish what he came here for and kill him once and for all.
But that would be too easy. Lu Guang didn’t deserve a quick death.
He had to do this himself.
His eyes scanned the room, looking for anything in the darkness that could get the job done. His gray irises landed on a large shard of glass near the room entrance, from the picture frame had fallen earlier and shattered.
He crawled to the sparkling weapon and lifted it into his hands, his fingers caressing the sharp edges. It was too shallow to dig in deep, but maybe. . . maybe he could still get his wish from it.
Lu Guang went back to Cheng Xiaoshi’s side and placed his left palm onto his. “Xiaoshi. . . I’m sorry I keep leading you to this ending. May it be the last time I ever do so.”
He took a breath and jabbed the glass shard into his abdomen, the same place where Cheng Xiaoshi had just been shot. Pain seared from his self-inflicted injury, and warm blood dripped down the glass and down his hand. An aching groan escaped from his throat at the torturous method, and he had to bite down on his tongue to keep from screaming.
Despite the agony he was already pulling himself though, he pushed the glass deeper into himself, twisting it for more efficiency. Every one of his sane thoughts were screaming at him to stop this, but he didn’t listen to them. He had already made his decision, and there would be no changing his mind.
His mind became groggy and the pain was too much to handle, but still Lu Guang kept his hand on the glass embedded into his stomach. If he could just push the shard a little deeper-
There was a snap, followed by glass hitting the tiled floor as it had broken in his grasp.
No. . . No, please. . .
Desperation took over and he jabbed his fingers into the cavity, an unconscious scream erupted from his chest as he did. It was torturous, what he was doing to himself, but he was already too far gone to even care. Why should he care about himself anymore, when the person he loved most could never be alive with him?
There was a low chuckle from the other side of the room as he wailed in the pain. “Sounds like he’s dead in there. Good, I’ll be taking my leave now. Pleasure doing business with you.”
Lu Guang barely processed the man’s words before his eyes rolled back and he collapsed sideways onto the ground.
It was half an hour when he woke back up, and for a moment he couldn’t recall any of what had happened before. After a second, everything rushed back to him and he winced at the pain in his stomach. He brought his hand to it, then turned his head to look at his surroundings.
His breath paused at the sight of Cheng Xiaoshi’s lifeless body, located just a meter away from his own.
That’s right; he was dead.
Lu Guang sat up.
He was alive. Of course he was.
This was the cruelest joke the universe had for him; he was forced to continuously watch everyone he ever loved and cared for was murdered, but was always unable to ever join them himself.
He screamed in pure rage at his luck. Why can’t I die?!
A few seconds went by and he looked back at the other body in the room. “Save them. . .”
Lu Guang stood up, ignoring the sharp pain in his abdomen. He tore his head away from the bloody sight and slid the door back open.
He staggered forward, past the photograph of the two of them and Qiao Ling together, past the discarded bullet casings that were scattered across the flooring. He clutched his chest as his steps led him to the base of the staircase.
He looked to the sunroom, seeing Qiao Ling’s deceased form on the blue rug. There was a pool of blood surrounding her chest, from the shot that had killed her earlier. Her eyes were still open, and from where Lu Guang's position, he could faintly make out the tear stains running down her cheeks.
She’d died before any of them could even fight back against the intruder earlier.
Lu Guang simply stared, his expression numb to death at this point. “Qiao Ling-Jie. . .” he murmured. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t save him.”
He made the turn to ascend the stairs before she could respond to him, and slowly made his way upwards.
He could feel his wound reopening as he made it to Cheng Xiaoshi and his shared room. It hardly mattered to him though; he just needed to make it to the photo to go back.
Lu Guang limped towards the bookcase, only to fall sideways right after pulling out the copy of Shakespeare’s Sonnets . The book tumbled downwards and a photograph fell from within the pages. He reached down to lift it back up. He let out a heavy sigh and stared at the picture for a few seconds.
It was a photograph he’d taken the day he and Cheng Xiaoshi had first met, depicting birds in an evening sky.
He took another slow breath before continuing forward to slump into the seat at the desk. His stomach writhed in pain, yet he ignored it in favor of the scene in his hands.
“I can’t bear to watch you die anymore. . . This is my last chance to go back to the beginning and save everyone. . . or die trying. . .”
He exhaled slowly. . .
Then clapped.