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Dear Mother,
How are you? I hope that you've been doing okay since Father got arrested. I know you cared about him. I've been getting settled down here at university, and it's been... Uneventful to say the least. I met my roommate. His name is Skizz, and he's majoring in Communications. He seemed pretty impressed when I told him that I was majoring in Law. He looks like he could be a mall cop, and I mean that in the best way possible.
It's weird without you around. I miss your mac-n-cheese. I bought a microwaveable cup of mac-n-cheese from the gas station, but it doesn't taste the same.
I'll write again when I have more to report, witch which might take a while, because classes don't actually start for a week.
If you feel lonely, remember that Norman and Flick are still there with you. Maybe try doing a puzzle.
I love you.
Best wishes, Jimmy
Dear Mother,
So. There's been a development. You remember me talking about my roommate? I found out he was single today, and I don't know why that resonated with me.
Father told me that I was wrong to like other boys, and he was right. I'm so sorry I keep bringing him up. I don't think I like like him, but he's a pretty cool guy. A really good cook too. His grilled cheese skills are exquisite.
In other news, I've had my first class, mainly getting to know people who are also taking Law. Very boring.
With love, Jimmy
Dear Mother,
Law is hard, and I don't know what I would ever use a law degree for. I guess I'm only trying to get this degree because Father forced me into it. I tried to tell him no, but it was hard to persuade him when he punched me when I so much as tried to disagree with him. Even when I know he's not around to hurt me anymore, I still find myself struggling to disagree with anyone. The taste of peas still lingers in my mouth from lunch. You know I hate peas!!
On a different note, I think I am developing a bit of a crush on Skizz. But only a tiny one!! It's not like I spent an entire lecture thinking about him. I suppose he's handsome, and his eyes are so captivatingly blue.
I miss Norman and Flick a lot. Are they eating okay? Do you know if they miss me?
Warm regards, Jimmy
Dear Mother,
Skizz asked if I wanted to go to a restaurant for dinner?? And I don't know if it's supposed to be a date? Probably not. He probably knows that it's wrong to be attracted to other men even more than me. Of course, I wasn't doing a very good job at doing it, haha.
I might ask him if this was supposed to be a date...
I might write another letter to you after dinner to tell you how dinner plays out, but I don't know how long it takes for you to get these letters. It could be three weeks for you to get these, as far as I'm aware.
...
I miss you. A lot.
Even with Skizz here, I feel lonely.
I miss Norman.
I miss Flick.
I miss Father. I would never miss Father.
Love, Jimmy.
P.S. I accidentally threw out one of your old photographs that I found in my suitcase. I hope you don't mind.
Dear Mother,
...Are you mad at me?
I haven't received a letter from you in a while.
...Are you mad at me because I have a crush on my roommate?
I know I would be. If I found out my child was attracted to the same gender. That the bloodline would never continue.
Maybe I do understand Father after all.
I'm sorry. I should stop bringing him up.
...Is that why you aren't writing to me anymore?
Yours, Jimmy
Dear Mother,
It's been four weeks since I've last received a letter from you.
I miss you.
I want to hear from you again.
Skizz got a bouquet of camellias for me, and I put it in a nice vase on the table. They're nice shades of pink and red, and they smell really nice. It was a really nice gesture.
I've learned that he sucks at art, loves dogs, and has a QPR in an Engineering Major that I don't know off the top of my head. I think the partner's name starts with an 'I'.
My classes have actually been going well. For once. I haven't been enjoying Law at all. I'm not having fun.
I'm... thinking of changing my major, to be honest.
If I'm not enjoying my major, and Father isn't around to force it, then why should I carry on with this?
I need help, Mother.
I need help deciding.
I don't know what to do with myself.
I don't want to burden Skizz with my problems.
I miss you.
...
I just want to see your handwriting again.
-Jimmy
Dear Mother,
Hi.
I know I haven't written for a while. Six weeks and five days, to be exact.
A lot has happened. Skizz talked to me, and managed to convince me to stick with Law. He's been helping me with some of my work, and he's been a really big help. He's really smart too.
The camellias that he gave me have started to wilt. Skizz tells me that all flowers are special, and have their own meaning. I've been wondering what the camellias mean recently. Maybe I'll write you again if I figure out what they mean.
I love you.
I miss you.
Regards, Jimmy
Dear Mother,
So...
I looked up the meaning of the camellias. The pink ones symbolize appreciation and longing. The red ones symbolize love and desire.
Mother, I'm such an idiot. It's been under my nose for two months...
I don't even know if camellias last for two months??
Has Skizz been replacing them until I get the hint?
I'm so STUPID!
I haven't forgotten about you. I promise. Law is taking up all my time, but Skizz has been helping me.
I love you, Mother. I hope you know that.
Love, Jimmy.
Dear Mother,
I talked to Skizz today. He said that it was 'about time!' I think we're dating now?
I would love to call him my boyfriend, but a part of me still believes that this is wrong. I don't think that part of me is ever going to leave. I think Father's treatment abuse will always stick with me.
I remember days that he made me feel like I wanted to kill myself because I simply forgot to take out the garbage.
I don't think that I'll ever feel comfortable talking about him. But I have to. To prevent others from carrying out the same actions he did.
I love Skizz a lot, believe me, but every time I try and flirt with him I hear Father's voice in my ear.
I think his legacy is inescapable.
I can't outrun it, but I can accept that he permanently left marks on me, physical and emotional scars.
Skizz has offered to help me through this, and I'm accepting it.
I'll keep on trying to better myself, Mom.
I hope some day you can meet him.
Lots of love, your son. Jimmy.