Work Text:
The apartment is dark when Jeonghan gets in. He shivers, removing his coat and scarf, shaking out his hair as he pulls his beanie off. It’s shorter than it used to be, and he’s still getting used to it, even a few months later. He’ll catch himself slipping hands down to his nape only to find air, his bony spine. And then he’ll laugh a little to himself and go on with his day. Lots of things are different than they used to be. Not bad, not good, just different. It wouldn’t do to get derailed every time he notices another of them.
He kicks off his shoes (no Seungkwan there to needle him about setting them neatly on their shoe rack) and shivers again, cold tile seeping through his thin socks.The apartment always gets so cold these nights, and Jeonghan’s extremities are what suffer most for it. He ignores the way his ankle starts to twinge, like it can sense fear, and tries to focus instead on the evening he’s just had with his new coworkers.
At the end of the day, Seongho had scurried up to ask, shyly, if he’d be interested in joining them for after work drinks, and Jeonghan had enthusiastically accepted. The awkwardness had begun to ebb after a few weeks in the office, but he still wanted to solidify in his colleagues’ minds that for the next two years, he was just another coworker.
“Yiseul-nim, you can scold me, you know?” he’d asked, when his manager had waved away a mistake of his in the spreadsheets.
“Ah, Jeonghan, don’t worry about it. You’re still learning.”
He’d shaken his head, laughing. “I may not be all that good at Excel yet, but pretty much one of the first things you learn as an idol is how to take a scolding. By now, I’m an expert at it.”
The drinks had gone well, and on longer than he’d anticipated. He tosses his leftovers from dinner in the fridge, and begins to fill a glass of water for himself. If he doesn’t drink enough water, he’ll wake up in the morning puffy and bloated– the price one has to pay for corporate team-building, he supposes. Not so different from idol team-building, if the mornings after big concerts or anniversaries were anything to go by.
The notification lights up his phone just as he’s placing the pitcher back on the fridge shelf.
총괄리더 ☑ started their LIVE: :)
It’s a little silly, the way he startles, how quick the buzzy feeling in his head kicks in. Frissons of energy lancing up Jeonghan’s shins, arms, all the way to the tip of his head. Seungcheol isn’t new. They aren’t even new, not really; years of dancing around one another finally came to an end during their shared medical hiatus a year or so back. They’d spoken on the phone yesterday night, briefly again before his shift.
And yet– buzzy.
He clicks on the notification, standing in his darkened kitchen, hand still on the fridge door, as Weverse boots up. And then, there he is.
Likes and comments are already rolling in across Seungcheol’s still made-up face, though it doesn’t seem like he can see them yet. He leans in closer, confused, and Jeonghan finds himself leaning in to his screen, too. His own personal one-way mirror. Seungcheol wouldn’t expect him to be watching, and there’s something vaguely thrilling about it.
“Where is everyone?” Seungcheol asks, perfect pout puckering his face. Then he’s leaning back, waving with both hands.
“Hi!”
“Hi~” Jeonghan whispers back. He huffs out a laugh and looks around the apartment. Even though no one is there to see him, he still feels a little embarrassed. Not enough to care, just enough to feel the tips of his ears redden. Enough that he doesn’t want to be standing in the kitchen anymore in his wrinkled work clothes, but curled up on the couch and cushioned in blankets and his own mushy feelings.
He sets his phone down on the countertop and rushes to his room, trading his slacks and button down for basketball shorts and a worn sweatshirt he’d stolen from Seungcheol’s closet the last time he visited. It even still smells like him a little, and Jeonghan finds himself tucking his face into it further, hooking the collar over his chin. In the kitchen, he hears Seungcheol chattering on, catching bits and pieces: the hat he’s wearing, something about his leg, then the familiar pop and fizz of a can opening.
Jeonghan pauses. Ah, well. One more drink couldn’t hurt.
He skates into the kitchen on his socks, digging around back in the fridge. “Come on, come on,” he whispers, shoving kimchi and a few languishing takeout containers to the side. “Ah-hah!” He’s victorious between some cups of noodles and a few bottles of Seungkwan’s left-behind vitamins, sliding the can out to pour into a glass.
A few more strategic slides and he’s on the couch, cradled by cushions, phone propped up on the coffee table, highball in hand.
“Cheers,” Seungcheol raises his glass to the camera, and Jeonghan mirrors him. “Cheers,” he responds, worming his toes further into his blankets, and taking a deep sip of his drink.
For the next minute or so, he just watches. Seungcheol shows off his hat some more, shakes out his hair (Jeonghan’s hand stretches reflexively), blinks his big eyes, low and slow. The buzzy feeling is back in full force, accompanied by the returning warmth of the alcohol.
He leans his head on his glass, imagines briefly what it would be like to be nothing more than a fan, back in his apartment after a long day at the office, logging on to watch his favorite idol on Weverse. Would he still find himself so captivated? Full to the brim with fondness?
The whole thought experiment is a bit like pressing on an old bruise out of curiosity, just to see if it hurts. But it doesn’t. Maybe it would have a few years ago, when he was more unsure of himself, of where he fit and how he mattered. But these days, faith in Seventeen, and in himself, is absolute. Even as things change, they’ll stay the same. There will be something to come back to, always someone to come home to. And for now, Jeonghan’s content to be that someone.
On screen, Seungcheol complains about being hungry and waves his hands around some more, reading through comments.
“Ah, should I try some filters?” Jeonghan trades the drink in his hand for his phone, unwilling to be so far from the screen as Seungcheol flips through filters. First a sparkly one, then baseball, before finally settling on one featuring three cats around the border.
Junnie, Jeonghan thinks, off-handedly.
“Wah, isn’t this one like Jun?”
Jeonghan cackles, throwing his head back with the force of it. He can’t help it, the fondness overwhelming him. He has to reach through the one-way mirror, make himself known, and share in this with Seungcheol, too. He’s greedy when it comes to the people he loves. He’s long since known this of himself.
정한 ☑ 9:29: Hahahahahaha
The reactions start pouring in at once, fan exclamations in various languages at his sudden appearance. It’s nice to see how excited they are to hear from him, but it’s not their reactions he cares about at the moment, not really. He sends off another quick message then bites his lip, waiting.
정한 ☑ 9:29: Hello
He doesn’t need to wait long. Even if he hasn’t caught Jeonghan’s messages yet, Seungcheol has certainly started to see the flurry of the rest of the chat.
“Jeonghan’s here?” He leans in close to the camera. “Jeonghan-ah?” Jeonghan’s chest clenches with the familiarity of it, that hint of a whine he’s always felt Seungcheol should patent. He’s sure fans will analyze it later, the potent surge of affection coloring his voice. They’d be right, that’s for certain. Not that it’s ever been in question whether Seungcheol loves his members, but—
“Jeonghan-ahhh!” His name on Seungcheol’s lips, again proclaimed in front of thousands upon thousands. He’s suddenly struck with the fear that Seungcheol will get shy, turn off the cats. He can get shy about the silliest of things–proclaiming his love is one thing, but being cutesy? Apparently a whole other.
정한 ☑ 9:29: Don’t turn it off!!!
“What are you doing?” Seungcheol asks, like he’s the one fighting for Jeonghan’s attention, looking back and forth from his camera to the comments and back again.
“Yoon Jeonghan, what are you doing?”
Jeonghan giggles, pleased the way he always is when he can dig himself under Seungcheol’s skin, just a bit. Only enough to bring out this side of him, pseudo-serious and sulky.
정한 ☑ 9:29: Bring me a present
The highball is warm in his stomach, affection making it more so. He wants to curl up there, under Seungcheol’s skin, and burrow in for the night. He wants Seungcheol to come back, put another piece of jewelry on him, add another layer to the many strands already tying them together.
The comments fly faster the longer he stays on the live, so he says hello. It’s not often he gets to be here, after all. The rules are a bit fuzzy, a bit malleable, but he has over a year’s worth of vlog footage, so he’s not planning on any of his own Weverse live appearances.
정한 ☑ 9:29: Hi, Carats~💕
“Buy you a gift?” Seungcheol scoffs, like he hasn’t been sending Jeonghan links to the Chrome Hearts website for weeks.
정한 ☑ 9:29: Yeah, get me a present
“I was going to, but they said they don’t have the one you like!” The whine is overwhelming at this point, but it still makes Jeonghan laugh. “They said they don’t!
“Don’t turn off what?” Seungcheol’s eyebrows crease in confusion, and momentarily, Jeonghan is confused too, before he realizes that his previous message must have appeared late.
“Jeonghan-ah,” Seungcheol calls again, like it’s beyond him to go more than a few words without saying Jeonghan’s name. Not that Jeonghan minds. Seungcheol raises his glass to the camera again, like they’re toasting from across the table and not across countries, an ocean. “The highballs that we drink are good, but I’m drinking alone…”
He’s trying to distract him, but Jeonghan won’t allow it. This pantomime is too enjoyable, getting to publicly make a fuss about Seungcheol’s attention without having to answer for it in upcoming fancalls, on stage.
정한 ☑ 9:30: Find me something else
정한 ☑ 9:30: Something similar
Acting like he didn’t have a pouty voice message on his phone from a few hours ago that was just Seungcheol groveling about how they didn’t have a matching bracelet on hand at the store he went to, so he’d reserve it for pickup before their Osaka concert.
“Find something else? That’s similar?” Seungcheol all but rolls his eyes while smiling indulgently, happy to play along. He knows Jeonghan wants it to be the same. “No, no, but look, Carats–” Seungcheol pulls up his sleeve, exposing his forearm with the bracelet to the camera. Somewhere in his haze, Jeonghan thinks it’s cute of him to include Carats in this, even if it is to garner sympathy.
“I bought this bracelet,” he gestures to the jewelry, hand waving over a recent IV bruise. “Ah, don’t worry, this is just an IV bruise.” Always so considerate. It makes Jeonghan’s stomach swoop. “I bought this bracelet, and he keeps asking me to buy him the same thing!”
One time, Jeonghan had had a long conversation with Vernon about truth. What it was, how to tell it, when to tell it— the kid was full of wisdom, but in this particular moment, what stood out about that memory was this: “Hyung, it’s pretty easy to tell the truth if you make it sound outrageous.”
And so Jeonghan did just that.
정한 ☑ 9:30: kekekekekeke We need to be a couple
Was that too much?
He watches as Seungcheol reads it, soft smile warming his face. He doesn’t read it out loud for Carats, just lets the moment between the two of them expand until Jeonghan can’t take it anymore, and bursts the tension himself.
정한 ☑ 9:30: kekekeke anyway, I’m joking
Seungcheol scoffs. “I’m joking–you say you’re joking, but you’re not.” A thrill runs up Jeonghan’s spine, and he shifts on the couch. Coups-ah, always rising to the occasion, upping the stakes with a healthy dose of earnest outrage.
He pours a bit more of his drink, and Jeonghan takes another sip, too. He’s getting sleepy now, tilting from buzzed to drowsy in the span of seconds. The couch is so comfortable, he’s so warm and content.
“Ah,” Seungcheol continues, bluster from before already dissipating. “Let’s eat together when I get back to Korea.”
Of course they’ll eat together. Jeonghan will be waiting on Seungcheol’s couch when he gets home, he and Kkuma colonizing opposite ends of it in their tenuous peace.
“I did your ‘bbyok!’ today,” Seungcheol confesses to the camera, once again like no one but Jeonghan is watching. Jeonghan had seen him, shy and blushy, on stage when he’d scrolled through Twitter on break. But Jeonghan’s mind is still on Seungcheol’s couch, inhabiting a pocket of time a few weeks in his future.
정한 ☑ 9:31: kekekekekeke Yeah, you can’t come back empty-handed
Seungcheol will come through the door, whiny and tired, but happy. Kkuma will bounce around, barking and yapping at his ankles, and after Seungcheol greets her sufficiently, he’ll collapse onto the couch, squishing Jeonghan beneath him.
“Jeonghan-ah,” he’ll moan into Jeonghan’s neck, “I’m so tired.” Jeonghan can already feel the way his arms will snake around his waist, the way he’ll have to adjust so Seungcheol can get a firmer grip, the way he likes– the way they both like.
Jeonghan will run his fingers through his hair, tucking it affectionately behind his ear. He’ll chase his fingers with a kiss pressed to Seungcheol’s forehead. And then he’ll whisper, “Where’s my bracelet?” Seungcheol will groan through a smile, squeezing his waist, nuzzling into his collarbone, “Yah, always so ungrateful, Yoon Jeonghan…”
The present-day Seungcheol speaks up again, interrupting Jeonghan’s drowsy reverie.
“Don’t come back with nothing? I looked, and they really don’t have it!”
Only now does Jeonghan respond to Seungcheol’s earlier comment about his energy charger opener.
정한 ☑ 9:31: yeah, i saw Mingyu do it
“You find those videos well, don’t you?” Seungcheol grins, and Jeonghan yawns through his one smile, curling further into his sweatshirt. “You know everything.” Seungcheol peters off, reaching for his glass again. Looking away from the camera, he pouts some more. “Japan is lonely without you.”
Blame it on the residual alcohol. Blame it on his new sleeping schedule. Blame it on how soft Seungcheol’s voice is as he professes the effect of Jeonghan’s absence on him so plainly, so boldly. Jeonghan is so comfortable. He’ll be at Seungcheol’s soon. Maybe that’s why he sends what he types next.
정한 ☑ 9:31: I’m going home soon
Maybe he meant to type “going to bed soon,” but Seungcheol, as always, knows what he means better than he does, can get to the heart of him right away.
“My house? You can’t go there?” I’m not there, is the meaning hidden just behind those words.
Perhaps that was a touch too far, but Jeonghan can’t bring himself to care. Seungcheol is his home, and he, his; Carats already know that. It’s not much of a secret, not anymore.
They’re both quiet for the next few moments, Jeonghan drifting in and out of consciousness, Seungcheol reading through comments.
“You’re going to sleep soon, huh?” Seungcheol asks, gentle and quiet. “Good night.” Jeonghan can feel his love dripping off of the words.
정한 ☑ 9:32: Yeah, that’s right. Good night~ 💕
정한 ☑ 9:32: Carats bye~~
His hearts are for Seungcheol. Carats get their own salutation.
“Good night,” Seungcheol calls again. “No, no let him sleep.” He chides Carats with his gentle brand of discipline. Jeonghan misses him badly.
He clicks out of the live, lets Seungcheol continue on telling Carats about his day, and curls into the couch properly. When he wakes up in an hour or so, with a stiff neck and full heart, he’ll research flights to Fukuoka. He has a little time off, and what better way to use it than going home?
___
bonus
13 – [Groupchat]
[Seungkwan] 10:27 PM: ew
[This message was liked by Vernon, Shua, Woozi, Mingyu]
[Wonwoo] 10:27 PM: ?
[Mingyu] 10:28 PM: “japan is lonely without you”
[Hoshi] 10:28 PM: ?!?!
[Wonwoo] 10:28 PM: wow.
[Dino] 10:29 PM: hyung...
[Mingyu] 10:30 PM: T_T
[Mingyu] 10:31 PM: i asked if he wanted to drink together after the concert
[Mingyu] 10:31 PM: “nooo i’m just gonna go live for a few minutes and then go to sleep”
[Jun] 10:32 PM: just landed, see you in 30ish (⁎˃ᆺ˂)
[This message was liked by Myungho, Mingyu, Hoshi, Seungkwan, Vernon]
[Dokyeom] 10:32 PM: JUNNNNNNNN!!
[Seungkwan] 10:33 PM: MOON JUNHUIIIIIIIIIII I MISSED YOUUUUU!!!!!!
[Dokyeom] 10:34 PM: i missed him moreヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ
[Seungkwan] 10:35 PM: i missed him MOST
[Jun] 10:37 PM: :3
[Jun] 10:38 PM: wait
[Jun] 10:39 PM: japan is lonely without you!?!?
[Woozi] 10:40 PM: lol hahah
[Hoshi] 10:41 PM: 🤣🤣🤣
[Vernon] 10:41 PM: yeah
[Dino] 10:42 PM: yeah
[Wonwoo] 10:42 PM: yeah
[Seungkwan] 10:43 PM: hyungs do you have anything to say for yourselves!!!!
[Wonwoo] 10:44 PM: 🎙
[Vernon] 10:47 PM: 🦗🦗
[Jeonghan] 10:47 PM: kekekekekeke
[Jeonghan] 10:48 PM: aigooooo don’t embarrass coups-ah
[Seungkwan] 10:48 PM: he embarrasses himself just fine without our help
[This message was laughed at Wonwoo, Jun]
[Seungkwan] 10:49 PM: YOU embarrass yourself just fine without our help!!!
[Wonwoo] 10:50 PM: “we have to be a couple”
[Wonwoo] 10:51 PM: “kekekekekeke”
[Wonwoo] 10:51 PM: “i’m joking kekekekeke”
[Vernon] 10:51 PM: (he wasn’t joking)
[Dino] 10:52 PM: no shit
Seungkwannie - [Private Message]
[Seungkwan] 10:57 PM: hyungggg i miss you
[Seungkwan] 10:57 PM: but im happy for you <3
[Seungkwan] 10:58 PM: and coups hyung
[Seungkwan] 10:59 PM: he misses you but he’s happy
[Seungkwan] 10:59 PM: We all miss you!!
[Jeonghan] 11:02 PM: ♥
[Jeonghan] 11:02 PM: Get some sleep, boo seungkwan
[Seungkwan] 11:04 PM: (ᴗ˳ᴗ) (ᴗ˳ᴗ) (ᴗ˳ᴗ)
[Seungkwan] 11:04 PM: you too!!!
[Seungkwan] 11:05 PM: put your shoes away properly too
[This message was disliked by Jeonghan]
Coups-ah - [Private Message]
[Seungcheol] 9:23 PM: i miss you
[Jeonghan] 11:11 PM: see you soon
[Jeonghan] 11:11 PM: ♥