Chapter Text
November 14, 2024
I'm finally getting around to writing in this journal Mikey gave me a few years ago. Not really sure what I'm doing, but he said to just go with what I'm feeling. A brain dump, he calls it. So I guess here we go.
It's been two weeks since… everything. Everyone is pretty tense. Raph won't stop hovering. I think he thinks if he takes his eye off any of us, we're going to disappear or something. Mikey is constantly on us about his ‘seminars’ to talk about our feelings. April is either fine or just really good at lying, because I haven't seen her cry once. Although her eyes do look puffy every now and then, she said it's just allergies. Draxum is always here. He's probably trying to step in for Dad and help us or something. Dad is still comatose. I'm worried he won't make it to Christmas. I think Draxum thinks the same, even if he doesn't talk about it. Not that I talk about it either. I've been okay. Sometimes I see that color when I close my eyes, or feel something in my throat when I'm training by myself. Or relive moments in my dreams.
November 19 2024
I don't sleep much anymore. The dreams are becoming too real. I can feel the pressure even after I wake up. But that's okay, it's not like I slept a lot anyway.
November 20 2024
I'm sort of getting the hang of this, even though it's only been three entries. Last night I dreamt that we found Donnie. But he wasn't himself at all. He knew all of our weaknesses. Our moves. Then everyone disappeared and it was just me and him. In the dark. Alone. It was a familiar feeling even though I've never felt it before. I think.
November 26 2024
Why do we have dreams? To show us our fears? Or to reveal our true desires? I hope it's the former.
November 27 2024
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It won't be the same without Dad. I hope Donnie is okay.
December 2 2024
Everything is falling apart. Raph isn't hovering anymore. He's just in the TV room in Dad's chair all day watching all the infomercials. Mikey isn't cooking or baking or anything. He won't even draw. Draxum and April bring us pizza at least. I'm still training, because one of us still has to protect the city. I've even taken up sewing, something Dad always did for us when something broke. I found a uniform design while going through his old stuff. I thought I'd try and make it. So far so good I think. It's definitely something.
December 5 2024
I'm back out patrolling again. I kept Hypno from turning an amateur magician into a pig with wings, or something. I'm pretty sure the kid used the phrase “flying pigs” as a callback joke he made before, which in all honesty sucked but still. Beat up Hypno and he almost immediately ran. Guess I'm just that good.
December 6 2024
I've updated the design and I think it's pretty cool. I didn't change much, just the color and a few accessories. Overall it's coming together. I've also already started making each piece. I hope he's proud of me.
December 7 2024
Repo tried to take a sushi and noodle restaurant back from an elderly blind man. After kicking his butt, he ran off more scared than usual. I swear that blind man knows what I am.
December 8 2024
I yelled at Mikey. I called him a hypocrite because he told me to come out of my room. He's been stuck in his for weeks. I don't even think he's come out to shower. So now he's mad at me.
December 10 2024
I'm still not sleeping. I can't. I always have the same nightmare with new additions to the torture.
December 12 2024
Crime has been very quiet. No banks are being robbed, no museums, no unexplainable food poisoning. Nothing. It's weird.
December 23 2024
I get the feeling that I need to keep my whereabouts a secret from everyone. Raph isn't impressed with the “new vigilante” out saving the city. If he doesn't like it, he can surely go out and patrol instead. He won't. He and Mikey are getting involved again, though. Mikey is making Christmas dinner with April, and Draxum is a little more distant than before. He seems upset but doesn't want to say anything. I don't blame him.
December 24 2024
Today is Christmas eve. The food smells great, and there's a small tree that April brought from her house. We put our decorations on it, although it's missing the purple that brings it tog-
“Leo?” Someone calls from the hallway. The sound of footsteps grows louder as the person approaches. Leo is quick to close and hide his journal just as April peeks her head around the doorway. The girl's eyes meet the mutants, and she smiles softly. “Mikey is just finishing up the ham.”
Leo nods in acknowledgment. “Thanks, I'll be right there,” he says as he tries to subtly cover his book under a stray hoodie, but the motion catches April's eye.
“What's that?” She asks as she takes a few steps into Leo's room. She points to the hoodie and Leo chuckles nervously. Why is he so nervous? She won't pry about reading his journal if he says he doesn't want her to. But still, the risk feels overbearing.
“Oh, you know,” Leo tries to play it off. “Just an old notebook from when I was learning to write.” Real smooth, Leon. April hums quietly in response, her chocolate skin and eyes shimmering under the dim blue lighting the LED strips are casting.
“Okay… uhm, as I was saying, dinner is about ready. Do you want to come join us?”
April holds her hand out to Leo, even though they both know she wouldn't actually be able to pull him off the ground. She may be older than him, but he is still a giant mutant that's almost a foot and a half taller than her. He takes her hand anyway and pushes himself off the ground.
“Dang April,” Leo grins, making a dramatic display of amazement. “Have you been working out? You barely gave an effort!” The two laugh for a moment at Leo's dumb attempt at comedy. April elbows Leo in the side before waving at him to follow her.
“You know it, now c'mon before the food gets cold,” April walks to the door, looking over her shoulder before exiting to make sure Leo was following. He was. Soon. But first he wants to finish his journal entry. He reaches under the hoodie and pulls the book out, opening it to the unfinished thought.
-ether. I think it will be okay. For now. But first I have to worry about stuffing my face for two.
Leo sighs as he finishes his sentence before closing the leather book and shoving it under his pillow. Time to face his family.
___________________________
The main area was a bit more lively than it has been in the last month. Everyone is actually in the same room for once. Mikey is setting the last few details on the table, with Draxum helping. April pours lemonade into each glass, and Raph is- wait. Forget the ‘everybody is in the same room’.
Leo has to take just one guess as to where his big brother could be. The slider makes his way to the dojo. Sure enough, Raph is sitting next to the shrine made for their late father. The giant turtle has his shell to the door, so he didn't see Leo come in, and Leo made sure he didn't hear him either.
Watching from the door, Leo listens to Raph as he speaks his thoughts. “I don't know what to do, Master Splinter. My training isn't working, and Mikey just doesn't want to train. Leo is always hiding away in his room… and there's some new guy out there who thinks he knows how to protect the people.”
Leo raises a brow at the mention of himself and… himself. He decides to get a little closer so he can hear better. Raph always speaks low when deep in thought. The snapper continues. “I've never seen him in person… but he is sloppy and a few civilians got his photo, and he doesn't clean his messes up behind himself.”
Wait what?
“Raph's gonna catch him, though. Then we'll see what goes on through his head.”
Okay that's enough. Leo doesn't want to hear anymore. He slowly leaves the dojo then makes an entrance that would let your neighbors know you're there. “Raph! Food is on.”
Raph jumps, obviously startled, and almost knocks over the shrine, and Leo gasps as the snapper saves it. They both stand in silence as the sudden adrenaline rush eases its way out. Raph turns to face Leo, a scowl pulling at his beak. “What?”
“I'll tell you what,” Raph carefully places the photo frame of Splinter back on the shelf. “You need to learn how to not sneak up on people!” “We're ninjas-” “You don't have to be one 24/7!”
Leo sighs. This is getting nowhere. “Listen, I'm sorry I startled you, but Mikey and April finished making dinner a few minutes ago. You coming or not?” The two stare at each other for too long. Finally, Raph nods.
“Yeah, I'm comin’.”
___________________________
Dinner was quiet to start. April gave thanks for the meal since nobody volunteered. Draxum was hesitant as he reached for the carving knife, considering he and Raph got into a heated argument about who should cut the turkey on Thanksgiving to take Splinter's place, Draxum insisting that he is technically their father, and Raph arguing that he is the one that raised them all. They both reluctantly agreed on Raph carving the Thanksgiving turkey, and Draxum carving the Christmas ham.
Once carved, plates were dished up and everyone started to eat. Back to silence, until April started the conversation that the family is now an hour and half into. This is the happiest they've all been since- well it doesn't matter. Mikey and Raph are in an unspoken competition for who eats the most plates full of food, April is getting her second serving, Draxum is finishing his second, and Leo is only halfway done with his first. Everything is good.
“So, how about that new guy that's been out vigilanteing?”
Until it wasn't.
Leo almost chokes on his soda when April brought the topic up. Nobody knows he's been out by himself, right? They shouldn't know. Anxiety twists his gut as he collects himself, staying silent for now, while Raph speaks up.
“I think he's an idiot.”
Okay, rude. Leo already knows that his big brother wasn't a fan of a rogue vigilante, but insulting one's intelligence isn't his job. It's somebody else's. The thought causes Leo to drift off from the conversation, but he immediately snaps back when Raph's booming voice startles him.
“Raph's jus’ saying that that guy needs to leave the hero work to the heroes! It's dangerous. He's dangerous.” When Raph calls the vigilante dangerous, defense lurches in his stomach. What the heck is that supposed to mean?
“How is he dangerous?” Leo finally pipes up. Raph gestures wildly as he explains, saying how the guy can't be trusted and his fighting style, from what they know, isn't traditional fighting, as well as how he leaves his enemies tied up like animals. This boils Leo's blood.
“Then the bad guys should know better than to do bad things,” the slider sits up. “Why are we bashing this guy when he hasn't done anything wrong and has been protecting New York?”
“Because he's doing it wrong!”
“Maybe he wouldn't have to fight if this team wasn't so lazy-”
“What did you just say?” Raph stands up, the chasm set on his forehead and his mouth is set into a deep scowl. Obviously Leo pressed the wrong button too hard. There's no going back now, so why not press harder?
“I said,” Leo stands up to emphasize his words. “Maybe the vigilante that you hate sooo much wouldn't even have to be a vigilante in the first place, if this team, specifically YOU, wasn't on their lazy butts all the time!”
The two stare each other down for what feels like an eternity. April shifts in her seat uncomfortably, while Draxum just eats his food. Mikey isn't having it, showing so by standing from his seat and leaving the table. Leo holds his ground, and Raph finally caves. He growls and storms away, leaving the last three to themselves. April awkwardly tries to change subject again, but before she speaks, Draxum holds his hand up to stop her.
What just happened? This day had gone surprisingly well, to say the least. And now because of Leo and his ego of his persona his family doesn't even know he has, it's ruined. Maybe things are better left untouched.
“I'm going to my room,” he says quietly before he walks away. This day can't get any worse.
___________________________
The winter air felt nice, the soft breeze causing his scarf and cloak to gently flap. His balaclava keeps his face warm, and his hood shields his eyes from the snow. He feels free on his own out here. No nagging feeling to hold back. This is the kind of therapy Leo needs after a sucky Christmas eve. He jumps to the next rooftop.
The smells of the city are overtaken by the cold, and the night is brighter than usual in the dark, the spirit of Christmas outshining the street lights. A family of six is walking out of a restaurant below Leo, a mom and dad, a big brother, a set of twins, and the baby of the family, all with smiles pulling at their cheeks. How it should be.
Leo shakes his head before any wistful thoughts overtake him. He turns to continue his patrol. As he jumps across more buildings, the sound of crashing dumpsters makes its way to his ears. Curious, Leo makes his way towards the ruckus. When he gets to the sound, he peeks over the edge of the roof he is on and immediately ducks away, dropping to his stomach.
“What does Leo know?” Raph's voice echoes in the dark alley. “And why is he defending that guy? He's a threat to everyone. To us!” He punches a wall. Leo flinches at the sound of the impact. Clearly he pissed Raph off a little too much. The slider takes a deep breath, deciding to leave without Raph hearing and or seeing him. He slowly pushes himself off the ground, carefully. Quietly.
The air is still. Leo peeks over the edge once more, his first mistake. Raph wasn't there. Crap. Leo sits up higher, his head pivoting side to side in search for his missing brother. His second mistake. His third mistake is not seeing the giant fist flying towards his head. Leo falls to the side, groaning and holding his jaw in pain. As the stars fade out, Leo blinks and looks up, seeing Raph standing what could be a couple yards away, maybe more. It's hard to tell when you've just been clocked by a tank. But he's getting closer.
“Who the heck are you?”