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The Avengers Tower glimmered with festive lights, a mechanical wreath hung over the elevator doors, and holographic snowflakes danced on the windows. Inside, Peter Wilson adjusted his sweater, which was a red and green monstrosity Wade had forced him to wear. It read “My husband’s a badass. My dad’s a genius.” It felt like a bad joke now that his actual dad, Tony Stark, was about to arrive.
“Calm down baby mama, you’re going to give yourself an ulcer pacing like that,” Wade said, leaning back on the couch with his legs sprawled over the coffee table. He was wearing his suit as usual, though now it was adorned with a blinking string of Christmas lights wrapped haphazardly around his chest. The Santa hat perched atop his mask completed the look.
Peter shot him a glare, his fingers twitching nervously at the hem of his sweater. “Wade, this isn’t funny. My dads—my dads—are about to find out I’ve been keeping a massive secret from them for months.”
Wade reached for a candy cane from the table and stuck it under his mask. “You mean our precious little angel, Liam? Don’t worry, babe. They’re going to love him. And if they don’t…” He made finger guns toward the baby in the playpen, who was currently chewing on a plush unicorn. “Well, Liam’s already got my killer instincts. Right, little buddy?”
“Stop saying things like that!” Peter hissed. He ran a hand through his hair, groaning. “They’re going to freak out. Tony’s going to give me that look, and Steve’s going to give me a long lecture about responsibility, and—”
The elevator dinged.
Peter froze.
Wade popped to his feet like a kid on Christmas morning. “And now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for!” he announced, throwing his arms wide.
The doors slid open, revealing Tony Stark in his trademark tailored suit, a stark contrast to Steve Rogers, who looked much more casual in a cozy sweater and jeans. Steve’s face lit up as he stepped forward.
“Peter!” Steve greeted warmly, pulling his son into a hug. “Merry Christmas!”
Peter hugged him back tightly, his nerves only growing. “Merry Christmas, Papa.”
Tony sauntered in behind him, one eyebrow raised. “All right, where’s the fire? I was promised eggnog and at least ten minutes of peace before Wilson started talking.”
“Stark!” Wade said, stepping forward with exaggerated cheer. “Merry Christmas, Grandpa Stark!”
Tony froze mid-step, his brow furrowing. He turned slowly to Peter. “What did he just call me?”
“Wade—” Peter began, but it was too late.
“I said Grandpa Stark!” Wade declared proudly, strolling over to the playpen and scooping up the baby. He held him up like Simba, ignoring Peter’s strangled gasp. “Introducing Liam Wilson, the cutest, smartest, most perfect baby in the universe—and your grandkid. Surprise!”
Steve blinked, his mouth opening and closing as he processed Wade’s words. Tony, meanwhile, remained perfectly still, his face a mix of confusion and horror.
“Peter Benjamin Stark,” Tony said slowly, emphasizing the name with all the authority of a disappointed parent. “What. The. Hell?”
Peter winced. “Dad, I was going to tell you—”
“You were going to tell me?” Tony interrupted, throwing his hands in the air. “When? His college graduation?”
“Tony,” Steve interjected, placing a hand on his husband’s arm. “Let’s hear them out.”
“Hear them out?” Tony repeated, turning to Steve with an incredulous look. “Steve, our son just introduced us to a baby that apparently belongs to him and Wade Wilson. I think I’ve heard enough.”
Steve ignored him and turned back to Peter. “This is your baby?”
Peter nodded, his heart hammering in his chest. “Yeah. His name’s Liam. Wade and I… we wanted to wait until the holidays to tell you.”
Wade grinned, bouncing Liam in his arms. “Surprise!”
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath about needing a drink. “You waited until Christmas? To tell me that you—” He gestured wildly toward Wade. “—procreated with him?”
“Hey, I resent that,” Wade said, his tone mock-offended. “I happen to be an excellent husband and an even better dad. Just ask Liam.”
As if on cue, Liam giggled, reaching for the fuzzy trim of Wade’s Santa hat.
Steve chuckled softly, stepping forward to take Liam from Wade. “Well, aren’t you adorable,” he said, his voice warm and affectionate. Liam cooed in response, his tiny fingers gripping Steve’s sweater.
Tony stared at the scene, his expression unreadable. “You’re just… fine with this?” he asked Steve, his tone incredulous.
Steve shrugged, his gaze never leaving Liam. “It’s Christmas, Tony. And this little guy is perfect.”
Tony opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again, his shoulders slumping. He turned back to Peter, jabbing a finger in his direction. “This conversation isn’t over.”
Peter nodded quickly. “Got it.”
Wade plopped back onto the couch, crossing his legs and grabbing another candy cane. “Told you it’d go great, babe.”
Peter shot him a withering look. “Wade.”
“What?” Wade said innocently. “Gramps is just mad because Liam likes me more.”
Tony groaned. “I’m going to need a drink.”
“Make it two!” Wade called after him.
Tony returned from the kitchen with a tumbler of scotch, a frown etched deep into his face. He stood over Peter, arms crossed, and glared at Wade, who was now spinning a candy cane in one hand like a baton.
“Okay, Peter,” Tony started, voice sharp. “How exactly does this happen? You—” he pointed at Peter, “—and him—” he pointed at Wade, “—made a baby. Explain. Slowly. And it better not involve some twisted version of the birds and the bees because I don’t have the patience.”
Peter exchanged a nervous glance with Wade, who gave him an exaggerated thumbs-up. He groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay, so, it’s kind of a long story…”
“Oh, I’ve got time,” Tony snapped, swirling his drink.
Steve, still holding Liam, sat down on the couch, cooing softly at the baby while clearly trying to suppress his amusement. “Go on, Peter,” he said gently.
“Well,” Peter began, pacing slightly. “It started a few months ago. I was, uh, patrolling the city, doing the whole Spider-Man thing. Wade was there too.”
“Helping?” Steve asked.
“Creating chaos,” Peter corrected, shooting Wade a look.
“In my defense,” Wade chimed in, holding up a finger, “I was stopping a bad guy I had been hired by three weeks earlier. Classic double-cross. Super honorable. I deserve a medal.”
Peter pinched the bridge of his nose. “Anyway, we ended up in this abandoned warehouse where there were these canisters of… something.”
“Something,” Tony repeated dryly. “Great start. Really detailed.”
“I didn’t have time to analyze it!” Peter shot back. “We were fighting! There were explosions! Wade threw a grenade—”
“Standard procedure,” Wade said casually.
“—and one of the canisters broke open. There was this… goo,” Peter said, gesturing vaguely.
“Goo?” Tony blinked. “You touched goo? How many times have I told you—”
“Not to touch mysterious substances, yes, I know! But Wade picked it up first!”
“Uh, rude,” Wade interrupted. “I didn’t pick it up. I tripped and fell into it. There’s a difference.”
“Tripped?” Tony asked, his tone deadpan.
“There was a banana peel,” Wade said solemnly.
“Banana peel,” Tony repeated, staring at him like he was deciding whether or not to believe it.
“Anyway,” Peter continued quickly, trying to steer the conversation back, “Wade touched the goo, and then I tried to pull him out of it, and somehow—somehow—the goo reacted to us. Next thing we know, it… solidified. Into a baby.”
Tony stared at Peter for a long moment, his drink halfway to his lips. “You’re telling me that some random goo in an abandoned warehouse turned into that—” he pointed at Liam, “—because you and Wade touched it?”
“That’s the gist of it, yeah,” Peter said sheepishly.
Tony closed his eyes and took a long sip of his drink. “Do you know what the goo was?”
“Not really,” Peter admitted. “I mean, I scanned it afterward, and it had some kind of advanced DNA-binding properties, but it was already… you know…” He gestured to Liam. “A baby.”
“Just like that?” Steve asked, clearly intrigued.
“Pretty much,” Peter said. “It was weird. One second it was goo, the next second there was this tiny human. Crying. Naked. Completely fine.”
“And adorable,” Wade added, leaning over to tickle Liam’s foot.
Tony let out a long, slow exhale. “Of course. Of course, this happens to you,” he muttered, gesturing vaguely in Peter’s direction. “You couldn’t just get married like a normal person and adopt a kid. No, you had to touch some alien baby goo.”
“It’s not alien!” Peter protested. “At least, I don’t think it is.”
“Great,” Tony said, downing the rest of his drink in one gulp. “Fantastic. Our grandson could be part mutant, part experiment, part God knows what. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I almost wish Wade had a normal origin story right now.”
“Normal’s overrated,” Wade said, leaning back on the couch. “Besides, Liam’s perfect just the way he is. Goo and all.”
Tony dragged a hand down his face. “I need to lie down.”
“Don’t worry, Grandpa Stark,” Wade called after him. “You’ll get used to it. First goo baby’s always the hardest!”
“Wade!” Peter groaned, burying his face in his hands.
Steve, meanwhile, was laughing softly, his eyes twinkling as he held Liam. “Well,” he said, looking at Peter, “no matter how it happened, he’s here. And he’s part of our family. That’s what matters.”
“Thank you, Papa,” Peter said, his shoulders relaxing slightly.
Tony paused by the liquor cabinet, pointing a finger at Steve. “You’re too soft on him,” he muttered.
Steve smiled. “Someone has to balance you out.”
Tony muttered something inaudible under his breath, then poured himself another drink.
Wade leaned closer to Peter, whispering, “I think that went really well, don’t you?”
Peter glared at him. “Define ‘well.’”
Tony was halfway through his second drink when Wade decided to drop his latest gem.
“You know,” Wade said, leaning casually against the couch, “when I married Peter, I always imagined getting him pregnant. Like, really pregnant. Big belly, swollen ankles, cravings for chimichangas—it would’ve been beautiful.”
Peter choked on the sip of water he’d just taken, sputtering and coughing. “Wade!”
Tony froze mid-drink, his eye twitching. “I… am going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”
“Why?” Wade asked, tilting his head. “You’re Tony Stark. You could totally invent something to make it happen. I mean, you made armor that can fly into space. A womb should be child’s play.”
Tony’s expression shifted from disbelief to exasperation as he turned to Peter. “This is the man you married.”
“Don’t remind me,” Peter muttered, face burning with embarrassment.
Steve, meanwhile, was barely containing his laughter, his lips twitching as he bounced Liam gently in his arms. “I think Wade’s just joking, Tony.”
“Am I?” Wade shot back, raising a brow behind his mask. “I mean, yeah, sure, we have our goo baby now, and I love Liam, but come on—imagine Peter waddling around, all cute and hormonal. It’s the dream!”
“Stop talking,” Peter groaned, covering his face with both hands.
Wade, clearly not stopping, picked up a small elf hat from the couch and plopped it on Liam’s head. “And speaking of adorable, look at my little elf!”
Steve looked down at Liam, who was dressed in a green onesie with red-and-white striped leggings, complete with tiny elf shoes that had bells on the toes. “You dressed him like this?”
“Of course!” Wade said proudly. “He’s the Wilson family mascot. Aren’t you, buddy?”
Liam giggled, swatting at the jingling bells on his shoes.
Tony stared at the baby for a long moment, as though debating his life choices. “Okay,” he said finally, “as much as I’d love to go down the nightmare rabbit hole of Wade’s pregnant fantasies, can we please focus on the fact that this kid is dressed like a Christmas decoration and Wade Wilson is claiming to be a responsible parent?”
“Responsible?” Wade scoffed. “I’m the most responsible! Watch this!”
Without warning, Wade tossed Liam into the air.
“Wade!” Peter shouted, lunging forward, but before he could reach the baby, Tony’s instincts kicked in.
Years of suiting up as Iron Man made catching Liam as natural as breathing. Tony snatched him mid-air and cradled him securely, glaring daggers at Wade. “Are you out of your mind?”
“Relax, Grandpa Stark,” Wade said, waving him off. “I had faith in you. I mean, you’re Tony Stark. If you couldn’t catch a baby, what hope is there for the rest of us?”
“I hate you,” Tony said flatly, adjusting Liam in his arms. “And don’t call me Grandpa Stark.”
Peter looked like he was about to explode. “Wade, I swear—”
“Chill, babe!” Wade interrupted, holding up his hands. “The kid’s fine. Look at him. Happy as can be!”
Liam, indeed, looked perfectly content, tugging on the fur trim of Tony’s sleeve with a curious expression.
Steve chuckled softly. “I think Liam’s already decided who his favorite grandpa is.”
Tony sighed, glancing down at the baby, who was now attempting to stuff a corner of Tony’s tie into his mouth. “Yeah, well, he’s got questionable taste. Must get it from his other dad.”
“Aw, Stark,” Wade said, placing a hand over his heart. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.”
Tony rolled his eyes, looking back at Peter. “I’m not inventing a womb for him, just so we’re clear.”
“Good,” Peter muttered, rubbing his temples. “Because I don’t think I could handle another surprise like this.”
“Hey,” Wade said, sidling up next to Peter and throwing an arm around his shoulders. “You’re Spider-Man. You can handle anything.”
Peter sighed, leaning into him despite himself. “Why do I let you talk me into these things?”
“Because you love me,” Wade said confidently, planting a kiss on the top of Peter’s head.
Tony groaned, handing Liam back to Steve. “I need a stronger drink.”
“And a stronger stomach,” Wade quipped. “You’ve got years of this ahead, Grandpa Stark.”
Tony glared at him, but Wade just grinned wider, clearly enjoying every second of the chaos.
Steve settled on the couch with Liam in his lap, adjusting the little elf hat that had started to slide sideways. The baby cooed happily, oblivious to the chaos unfolding around him. Steve looked up at Peter and Wade, his expression calm but curious.
“So,” he began, his voice steady, “what are you planning to do with Liam? Are you… keeping him?”
Peter blinked, caught off guard by the direct question. “Uh… yeah, of course, we’re keeping him,” he said quickly. “I mean, he’s ours.”
“Biologically or not,” Wade chimed in, leaning against the back of the couch, “he’s our little goo miracle. Liam’s a Wilson through and through. Look at him! He’s already got my charisma and Peter’s… tendency to stress about everything.”
Peter shot him a look. “He’s eight months old. He doesn’t have anyone’s personality yet.”
“Wrong,” Wade said, wagging a finger. “He smiled at me first. That’s a clear sign of favoritism. It’s genetic.”
Tony, leaning against the kitchen counter with his drink in hand, raised an eyebrow. “You’re telling me you two are ready to be parents? Really? Because I have serious doubts about that.”
“Why?” Wade asked innocently. “Because we’re unconventional? Because I’m not your average PTA dad?”
Tony stared at him. “Because you’re Wade Wilson.”
“Fair,” Wade admitted with a shrug. “But hear me out. This could be the start of something beautiful. The world’s deadliest mercenary and the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man teaming up to raise the perfect kid. It’s like a sitcom waiting to happen.”
“This isn’t a sitcom,” Tony muttered, taking another sip of his drink. “It’s my nightmare.”
Steve chuckled, looking down at Liam, who was now gnawing on his tiny elf shoe. “Tony might be skeptical, but I think you two can handle it. Parenting isn’t easy, though. You’ll need to make some sacrifices.”
“Sacrifices?” Wade repeated, tilting his head. “Like… what kind of sacrifices? Because if you’re about to say I have to give up my katanas, that’s a hard no.”
Steve laughed softly. “Not your katanas. But kids require time and attention. A lot of it. You can’t just go off on wild adventures without thinking about how it’ll affect Liam.”
Peter nodded, his expression serious. “I know, Papa. We’ve talked about it. Things are going to change, but… I’m ready for that. I want Liam to have a good life.”
“And I’m fully on board!” Wade added. “I mean, sure, I might occasionally get distracted by explosions or international espionage, but I’ll always come home for dinner. Probably.”
Tony let out a long sigh, shaking his head. “This is a disaster waiting to happen.”
“No, it’s not!” Peter protested. “We’ve got this, Dad. Really. I’ve already cut back on my patrols, and Wade’s been… well, Wade’s been around more.”
“I’m practically a stay-at-home dad,” Wade declared proudly. “Except for when I’m not.”
Tony’s gaze shifted to Steve. “Are you really buying this?”
Steve smiled, his eyes soft as he looked at Liam. “I think they’ll figure it out. Parenting isn’t about being perfect, Tony. It’s about showing up and doing your best. And as long as they love Liam, that’s what matters.”
Peter felt a wave of gratitude wash over him. “Thanks, Papa. That means a lot.”
Wade grinned, pointing at Steve. “See? Cap gets it. You should take notes, Stark.”
Tony sighed again, finishing his drink. “Fine. But don’t come crying to me when this kid grows up with Wade’s sense of humor.”
“Best case scenario,” Wade said, smirking. “He’ll be unstoppable.”
Peter groaned. “Let’s just focus on keeping him alive for now, okay?”
“Deal,” Wade said, holding out his hand for a dramatic handshake.
Steve laughed as Liam giggled, tugging at his sleeve. “Well, if nothing else, you’ve got a very happy baby.”
The tension finally settled as the festive atmosphere of Christmas crept back into the room. Wade turned on some obnoxiously cheerful holiday music, humming along to a pop-punk version of Jingle Bells as he grabbed Liam from Steve’s arms and plopped him into Peter’s lap.
“All right, Spider-Dad,” Wade said, pulling Peter closer to the Christmas tree, “time to show the kid how we do holidays in the Wilson household.”
Peter smiled nervously as he adjusted Liam on his knee, the baby’s elf hat now slightly askew. “You mean chaos and glitter everywhere?”
“Exactly!” Wade grinned, scooping up a present wrapped in shiny red paper and handing it to Liam. “Here you go, buddy. Rip into it like your life depends on it.”
Liam grabbed at the paper with uncoordinated but determined hands, crinkling it loudly and giggling.
Steve chuckled from the couch, watching the scene with a soft smile. “Looks like he’s getting the hang of it.”
Peter laughed as Liam managed to tear off a small piece of the wrapping, holding it up like he’d just conquered a mountain. “Good job, Liam!” he praised, his tone filled with warmth. “You’re a natural.”
Wade leaned down, pointing to the package. “Keep going, kiddo. There’s more where that came from.”
With Peter’s help, Liam finally managed to rip open the wrapping to reveal a soft, plush Deadpool toy, complete with its own tiny katanas.
“See?” Wade said, holding the toy up triumphantly. “Perfect first gift. Educational and adorable.”
Peter rolled his eyes, laughing despite himself. “You bought him a plush version of you?”
“Obviously,” Wade replied, as if it were the most logical thing in the world. “Every kid needs a hero to look up to. And who better than me?”
Tony groaned from the armchair, sipping his third drink of the night. “Oh, great. You’re already indoctrinating him.”
“Relax, Grandpa Stark,” Wade said, tossing another present to Peter. “You’re gonna love the next one.”
Peter unwrapped the second gift with Liam’s help, revealing a onesie that read: My Dads Are Cooler Than Yours.
“Oh my God,” Peter said, holding up the onesie and shaking his head. “You did not.”
“I did,” Wade said proudly. “You’re welcome.”
Steve burst out laughing, covering his mouth as Liam clapped his tiny hands, clearly amused by the reactions around him.
The evening continued with more gifts—blocks shaped like Avengers characters, a teething ring designed like a web, and a ridiculously expensive baby-sized leather jacket that Wade had clearly splurged on.
By the time they reached the final gift, the living room was a mess of wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows. Peter sat on the floor with Liam in his lap, helping him tear open the last present. It was a small wooden train set, complete with tiny tracks and a locomotive painted in bright primary colors.
Peter smiled, his heart swelling as Liam immediately grabbed one of the train cars and tried to shove it into his mouth. “I think he likes it,” Peter said softly.
Steve nodded, leaning back on the couch. “You two did good.”
Tony sighed, looking at the chaos surrounding him. “Well, at least he has good taste in toys. Unlike his parents.”
“Aw, come on, Stark,” Wade said, flopping onto the couch next to Steve. “Admit it. This is the best Christmas you’ve had in years.”
Tony didn’t answer, but Peter could’ve sworn he caught a faint smile tugging at the corner of his dad’s lips.
Wade leaned over to Peter, whispering just loud enough for everyone to hear, “Told you we’d win them over.”
Peter shook his head, laughing as Liam squealed with delight, waving the train car in the air.
For the first time all night, Peter let himself relax. Maybe, just maybe, they really did have this whole parenting thing figured out.
Wade leaned back on the couch, popping a candy cane into his mouth like it was a cigar, and looked at Tony and Steve with mock seriousness. “So, Grandpa Cap, Grandpa Stark, let me ask you something,” he began, swirling his candy cane like he was conducting an orchestra.
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want to answer this, but something tells me you’re not going to stop talking.”
“Exactly right,” Wade said, pointing the candy cane at him. “How did you two know you were ready to be parents? Did you just wake up one day, look at each other, and say, ‘Hey, let’s adopt a tiny genius’? Or did you buy Peter off Amazon or eBay? You know, since he’s second-hand and all.”
Peter’s jaw dropped. “Wade!” he shouted, his voice cracking with indignation.
Steve choked on a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand. “Wade…” he began, but the corners of his mouth betrayed his amusement.
Tony stared at Wade for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then he swirled his drink dramatically and said, “eBay. Next day shipping. Came with a 30-day return policy. Unfortunately, I forgot to send him back in time.”
“Dad!” Peter shouted, even louder this time.
Steve burst into full-blown laughter, unable to contain it anymore.
“Oh, this is great,” Wade said, clapping his hands together. “So you admit it! My Spidey-Pie was an impulse buy!”
“Peter,” Tony said, ignoring Wade and pointing his glass at his son, “you really need to develop thicker skin if you’re going to stay married to him.”
“I’m questioning my life choices every day,” Peter muttered, running a hand through his hair.
Wade plopped down next to him, throwing an arm around his shoulders. “Aw, don’t be like that, babe. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. Even if you are a little dented from being pre-owned.”
Peter glared at him. “You’re impossible.”
“And you love it,” Wade shot back with a wink.
Steve, still laughing softly, finally composed himself enough to answer Wade’s original question. “In all seriousness, we didn’t know we were ready to be parents. It’s not something you can plan perfectly. We just knew we wanted to give Peter a safe, loving home.”
Tony nodded, his expression softening. “Yeah. We made a lot of mistakes along the way, but we figured it out. And despite Wade’s constant nonsense, I think you two will figure it out too.”
“Aw,” Wade said, wiping an invisible tear from his mask. “That’s the second nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Stark.”
“Don’t get used to it,” Tony muttered, finishing his drink.
Peter looked at Steve, his voice quiet. “You really think we’ll be okay?”
Steve smiled, resting a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “I know you will. You’ve got a good heart, Peter. And as long as Liam has you—and yes, even Wade—he’s going to be just fine.”
Peter smiled softly, his nerves easing.
Wade leaned down to look Liam in the eyes. “Hear that, kid? We’re doing great. You’re welcome.”
Tony groaned, standing up and heading toward the kitchen. “I need another drink. A strong one.”
“Grab me a juice box while you’re at it, Grandpa Stark!” Wade called after him, laughing when Tony flipped him off without turning around.
Tony returned from the kitchen with a fresh drink, sitting down on the couch next to Steve. Liam, ever curious, immediately reached out for Tony’s glowing arc reactor, his tiny fingers grasping at the light.
“Whoa, hold on there, buddy,” Tony said, gently taking Liam’s hand. “That’s not a toy. Though, considering your parents, you’re probably going to end up building your own version by kindergarten.”
Liam giggled, clearly pleased with the attention, and Tony sighed, his tough exterior softening as he let the baby play with his fingers.
Steve chuckled, leaning closer to Liam with a toy train car from earlier. “You like this one?” he asked, rolling it across the floor. Liam’s eyes lit up, and he flailed excitedly before crawling toward the toy, his little elf hat slipping off in the process.
“Look at that,” Tony muttered, shaking his head. “Kid’s already outsmarting Wilson.”
“Hey!” Wade protested from where he was lounging on the arm of the couch. “I’m a very complex individual, thank you. It’s just that my genius is more… chaotic. Like jazz.”
Peter rolled his eyes but couldn’t help smiling as he watched Tony and Steve take turns entertaining Liam. Tony, despite his earlier complaints, was now fully invested, using tiny, flickering repulsor lights from his palm to dazzle the baby.
“Look at you,” Wade said smugly, pointing at Tony. “You’ve gone full Grandpa Stark. I knew you’d cave. You can’t resist the cuteness.”
Tony glared at him but didn’t stop playing with Liam. “Shut it, Wilson.”
Steve laughed, shaking his head. “He’s got a point, Tony. You’re a natural with him.”
Tony raised an eyebrow. “Don’t start, Rogers.” He turned his gaze back to Peter, the playful tone in his voice replaced with curiosity. “But seriously, Peter. How in the hell did you manage to hide a whole baby from the Avengers? Do you have any idea how nosy this team is?”
Peter’s smile faltered slightly. “Well… it wasn’t easy.”
“That much is obvious,” Tony said. “So why did you think hiding him was a good idea in the first place?”
Peter sighed, his shoulders slumping. “We weren’t trying to keep him a secret forever. I just… I didn’t want to overwhelm Liam. You know how crazy things get around here. I didn’t want to drag him into all of that before he was ready.”
Steve tilted his head, his tone gentle. “You were trying to protect him.”
“Exactly,” Peter said, nodding. “And Wade… well, he agreed. Sort of.”
“Sort of?” Tony repeated, narrowing his eyes.
“I mean, I was onboard with keeping the kid out of harm’s way,” Wade said, shrugging. “But I also wanted to dress him up like a tiny Deadpool and introduce him to everyone. Petey said no.”
Peter groaned. “You did dress him up like Deadpool, Wade.”
“Yeah, but only for us. It was adorable,” Wade said defensively.
Tony sighed, rubbing his temples. “So you two thought hiding him from your entire support system was the best move?”
Peter hesitated, guilt flashing across his face. “I… guess when you say it like that, it sounds bad.”
“It is bad,” Tony said, his tone firm but not unkind. “You’ve got the Avengers—people who would’ve had your back from day one. And instead, you went rogue with Wilson here and played house.”
“Look, Dad, I’m sorry, okay?” Peter said, his voice earnest. “I just… I didn’t know how you’d react. Or anyone else.”
Steve placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder, his voice calm and reassuring. “Peter, we would’ve supported you no matter what. We’re proud of you for taking responsibility and doing what’s best for Liam. But you don’t have to do it alone.”
Peter looked down, nodding. “Yeah… I get that now.”
“Good,” Tony said, his voice softening. “Because the next time you decide to keep a life-changing secret, I’m going to ground you. Permanently.”
“Noted,” Peter said with a small smile.
Wade clapped his hands together. “So, now that we’ve cleared that up, what do you say we celebrate by telling the Avengers tomorrow? Preferably with a big, dramatic reveal. Maybe I’ll toss Liam at Thor. He’ll love it!”
“Wade!” Peter shouted, glaring at him.
Tony groaned, covering his face with his hand. “This is going to be a long Christmas.”
Steve just laughed, handing Liam back to Peter. “Well, at least we’ll never be bored.”