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Two days since the golden trio escaped from Malfoy's Manor. Two days since Hermione wouldn’t get up from her bed.
Ron was outside her room with Harry, waiting for Fleur and Luna to come out with news, but when they showed up, it didn’t seem to be good ones.
“She wants to be alone” said Luna.
“Have you proposed to help her shower?” Harry asked, so worried that almost sounded angry.
“Of course, ‘Arry! But she doesn’t even want to open ‘er eyes!” Replied Fleur.
Ron was getting impatient, he never saw Hermione being so quiet since… Well, since she was petrified in their second year. She wasn’t the type to stop just because was feeling sad or sore, she would fight it. Now she didn’t even want to open her eyes? Hermione Granger? That was impossible.
“Oh, fuck it” he said before storming into the room, ignoring Luna pleading him to stay.
He closed the door behind him so he wouldn’t be distracted. He was going to get Hermione out of bed. He was going to bring back the Hermione that he knew, the one Bellatrix stole from them.
She was laying on the bed with her face turned to the wall, he was not sure if she was asleep or not. He sat beside her and touched her ankle on top of the covers, that’s when she reacted, shaking with fear until noticing it was him, but even before that, he was already saying:
“Hey, it’s me, Ron. Don’t be scared” she looked at him, her features relaxing. “I talked with Fleur and Luna, they said you don’t want to take a shower, it doesn’t seem like you, y’know… Like, you’re always complaining that I should take more showers” he teased, but she only pressed her face into the pillow.
“Ron, I don’t want to…”
He sighed, not disappointed, but sad.
“I know ‘Mione, but you need to take care of yourself…” He looked at her waiting for the answer that never came. “Why don't you wanna get up?”
“I… I don’t want them to see…”
“What? Your… arm?”
She shook her head, confirming. He caressed her ankle affectionately. The girls had said she didn’t want to show her injured arm. The first day it was Bill who took care of it — he learned a lot of healing spells from Remus Lupin after being attacked —, but yesterday was herself, Ron wasn’t sure how she could do it with only one hand but she didn’t let anyone touch her.
“You want me to help you take a shower? I won’t look at your arm if you don’t want me to, Hermione.”
“You already saw it.”
“So one more reason I can help you.”
“Ron…” she whined.
“Come on, you’ll be clean and smelling good!” he tried to cheer her up, grabbing her shoulder and turning her on the bed to face him.
“My body is hurting, I can’t stand!”
“Come on, I’ll carry you.”
And, before she could even respond, he was taking her like a bride, or even better, like a baby, because he tried hard to not hurt her while she was hugging him afraid of falling — but he showed to be very strong, it was unlikely to happen.
Opening the door, Hermione hid her face in the crook of his neck and everybody looked at them.
“Harry, can you please put a chair in the bathroom? One that can be wet, maybe with a spell?” Ron asked, and Harry was clever enough to be fast at understanding what the chair was for and went to find one. “And one of you can get me a plastic bag and tapes?” It was Fleur who went to get them.
Luna helped Ron to bring Hermione to the bathroom, Hermione asked for a moment to do her needs and Luna offered to help her. Ron waited outside until Harry and Fleur came back. A few minutes later, Luna leaved the bathroom and said to Ron:
“She said she wants your help to take the shower.”
“But- I thought it was going to be us. ‘es a boy!” said Fleur.
“Oh, come on, leave them” defended Harry. “I’ll be outside if you guys needs help.”
So Ron came into the bathroom with everything he asked from his friends plus a tower, finding Hermione sitting on the closet toilet lid, holding her own arms and looking down. He kneeled in front of her, trying to search her eyes.
“‘Mione, how do you want to do this?”
She shakes her head, like a “I don’t know”.
“Listen, let’s do this dressed ok? Sounds good to you?”
She thought a little bit and said:
“No, how can I shower dressed, Ron?” he almost laughed, her voice was almost the same one she always did when was angry with him.
“So you need to be at least in your underwear.”
“That’s fine.”
“Won’t it be weird for you?”
“No.”
She didn’t ask if it would be weird for Ron, and he tried to not think too much about all of this.
“So we’ll get you to your underwear and I’ll sit you at that chair under the shower so you won’t need to stand up, alright?” She nods. “And your injury, we’ll cover it with the plastic bag and tapes so the water and soap won’t hurt it, that’s what my mum used to do when one of us got scratches.”
“Okay” she said quietly.
Ron started helping her to take off her long sleeve shirt and she complained about the pain when she tried to stretch her arms up. She was wearing a bra which was almost the color of her skin, just a few lighter shades. Ron was just seventeen, a teenager, and trying to teach his brain that he couldn’t get distracted with so much skin when it was from his best friend who needed help, so he kept concentrating at taking off the bandages she had on her arm.
It was clear that it was healing bad, especially because Hermione couldn’t heal it properly alone. Ron decided to talk about it later and just covered it again, putting tapes all over it so the water wouldn’t get through.
He helped her to take off her socks and to get her hips up so he could take the trousers off of her. He took her again in his arms and sat her on the chair inside the shower box.
When he turned the water on — checking if it wasn’t too hot or too cold — the real Hermione seemed to show up when she scolded:
“You’re going to wet all of your clothes, Ronald!”
“It’s alright, don’t worry” he patted her hair, remembering for the first time in weeks how soft it is.
Once the water was ready, he started to help her get under the water. He gave her the soap and while she was spreading it where she could reach, he was washing her hair with the shampoo and conditioner he found.
“Your hands in my hair are making me sleepy” she whispered.
“Please don’t fall asleep, I’m not sure I can hold you with soap all over your body. It’ll be a tragedy.”
She let out a really small laugh and kept rubbing the soap on her legs, above her ankles. After finishing her hair, Ron helped washing where she couldn’t — her toes and back.
“I’ll help you stand up a little bit, ok? Just to take the soap off of your back” she nodded.
He hugged and brought her under the water. Her legs were trembling but her arms were very strong around his shoulders.
Ron really hugged her, wanting to cry but not to show how sad he was. Hermione doesn't deserve it, and still she is so strong to trust him. Hermione trusts him. He felt her lips, her nose and her breath against his neck, he could feel so many things but the biggest one was the relief to know she was alive. He holds her a little more than necessary, just to feel her breathing against him. Just to feel her.
Someone knocked on the door and opened a bit, not enough to see them.
“You guys need help?” it was Harry’s voice.
“No, mate, we’re alright” answered Ron, putting Hermione on the chair again.
“Wait!” she said, her voice cracking while speaking loudly. “Harry, can you bring clothes for Ron? The idiot got under the shower dressed, he’s going to wet the whole bathroom like a duck!”
Ron could hear Harry’s smile when he said:
“Sure, I’ll bring clothes for him, don’t worry.”
While they waited for him, Ron put a towel around her and she took off her underwear underneath it. Ron left them in the sink, one of the girls would take care of it. When Harry came back, he gave Ron new clothes and a towel, then picked Hermione in his arms the same way Ron did before.
“I’ll help her get dressed while you dry yourself” and left with her.
Ron was fast dressing up and soon he was with them again. She was already dressed in soft pajamas, sitting on the bed while Harry was behind her combing her hair.
“Everything is alright?” asked Ron, she nodded. “Don’t you think we should take a look at your arm?”
She lets him roll her sleeve up and put medicine on it. The cut written “Mudblood” was even bigger with all the infected skin around it. She whined every time it burned, but Harry kept reassuring her saying “everything was going to be ok soon”. Once the cut was wrapped with bandages, Ron held her hand, left a kiss on her wrist and another on her fingers. She didn’t look at his eyes, but behind her Harry was smiling, Ron just rolled his eyes fighting to not smile back.
“I don’t know if you should sleep with your hair wet, ‘Mione” Harry said to her. “I’ll ask Fleur if she has a hairdryer.”
Harry walked out of the room and Ron looked confused at Hermione.
“I have no idea what a hairdryer is.”
She laughed. A real laugh.
“I think Harry forgot he is a wizard, he could dry my hair with a spell.”
“You want me to do it?”
She looked at the door.
“No, Fleur probably has a hairdryer, it’s going to be funny to see him trying to use it” they looked at each other and laughed a little bit louder.
And she was right, Harry had no idea of how he was supposed to use it. They kept laughing as he tried to brush her hair while Ron held the hairdryer.
“My father would love this thing” Ron said, pointing it to Harry and making his glasses fall on the bed.
For a moment, with all of the jokes and happiness, it didn’t seem like they were in the middle of a war or that Hermione was ill. They looked like children, as if they were in the communal room of Gryffindor.
The moment got lost when Hermione’s hair got ready, so she could sleep. She laid on the bed while Harry took care of the curtains, making the room dark. Ron spreaded a blanket on top of her body, she let out a small sigh.
“Harry! Can you come here?” Someone called downstairs, probably Bill.
“Yes! Just a sec!” But, before walking out the door, he leaned over Hermione and whispered something in her ear, leaving a kiss on top of her head. Then, he turned to Ron and said: “Call me if you need something.”
“No, I’ll go with you, she needs to sleep. Mione, if you need us…”
“ No ”, her voice was low, “stay here.”
“What?”
“You heard her, mate” Harry said. “Stay here, we’ll get you if it’s necessary.”
And he left, but not before smirking to Ron and patting his shoulder.
Ron looked at Hermione and found that she was already looking at him. He took a chair from the corner of the room, she opened her mouth again but then said nothing.
“What?” He asked, soft.
“Would… Would you… Oh, forget it.”
“Come on, tell me.”
For a moment, he thought that she really gave up and wasn’t going to say anything — he wouldn’t force her — but then, from under the covers, he heard:
“Would you hold me? So I can sleep…”
She seemed so small. So fragile.
Ron’s first instinct was to run away. He couldn’t deal with something so important, so vulnerable. Anyone in this house would be better than him. Luna was gentle with animals, Bill always seemed to be good with girls, Fleur had good advices, Harry… Well, Harry was good with everything . He was the fucking saviour and cleary a great brother to Hermione.
But Hermione asked for him, not them. She took the shower because he offered help. He was here right now, not the girls, not Harry, not Viktor Krum. She needed him.
So he took a step forward and climbed onto the single bed. She made room for him and he whispered: “Turn around”. She did, he faced the back of her head and made sure to not lay his on top of her curls. He didn’t know if it was appropriate to be under the covers with her, but he did it anyway, sneaking an arm under her neck and the other on top of her belly. He pulled her closer, her back against his chest, their legs intertwined.
“It’s alright?” He asked.
“Yes”, she caressed his arm, the one that was grounding her against the mattress. The bandages on her own against the scars on his, from the brain’s attack at the Department of Mysteries months ago.
They shared a few minutes of silence, but she didn’t sleep. Ron could feel her tense shoulders.
“Hermione, are you sure you can sleep with me here? I can leave you alone if you want.”
“You guys are terrible sometimes”, she laughed bitterly. “‘ Hermione, we won’t leave you alone’, ‘Hermione, I can leave you alone if you want’...”
“I’m just making sure you’re comfortable.”
“Yes. I am, Ron. Thank you.”
A few more moments of silence. Her shoulders trembled.
“Hermione…”
“I’m sorry for being a dick”, she cried. “Please, stay here.”
“I’m here, you don’t have to cry”, he held her closer. “I won’t leave you.”
“Please don’t leave me”, she repeated, sobbing.
“I won’t. I’m here.”
“I was so afraid when you disappeared. I was so afraid thinking that they got you, that they would kill you…”
“Me too. Me too, and when Bellatrix got you I should’ve done something…”
“Please, don’t say her name.”
“It should’ve been me instead of you”, tears escaped his eyes.
“Ron, please, don’t. Don’t say that.”
“I’m sorry.”
She breathed deep. One. Two. Three times.
“I’m sorry”, he said again, “for everything.”
She turned around, facing him. Their noses bumped, he took a bit of distance to see her clearly. Her red nose, puffy eyes. Without even noticing, his hand touched her chin attempting to make the sobs stop. Fingertips touching her trembling lips.
“I’m here”, he said. Again, again, again. She closed her eyes and listened. He was afraid that if he stopped saying it, she would forget. “I’m here”.
Her hands moved from his arms to his shoulders, to his neck, to his face. She touched his ears and his hair. She placed her forehead against his.
“I’m here”, he said one more time. “You can sleep now.”
Her hands kept moving. To his cheeks, his nose, his lips. They slowed. His chin, his chest, his waist. Until her breathing got calm. Until her eyes stopped moving under her eyelids. Until her body relaxed.
While Hermione slept, Ron held her tight, watching her features soften. He stayed there until the morning. He was never going to leave her again.