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“Hey, Viktor?” Jayce calls out when the older man walks into the lab, holding a coffee. “When’s your birthday?”
“Why do you ask?” Viktor questions, not bothering to turn to Jayce as he walks across the room to his desk, placing down his coffee before sitting down, setting down his crutch so it leans against the desk.
“Oh, no reason…” Jayce replies, trailing off. After a few moments, he sighs and adds, “well, we’ve been working together for over a year now, and we’ve never celebrated your birthday, so I was wondering if you’d want me to-”
“I don’t celebrate it,” Viktor cuts him off, pulling a stack of papers towards him and shuffling through them, examining the formulas scribbled on them and trying to find the right one. On the other side of the room, he can hear Jayce sputtering in indignation.
“What do you mean, you don’t celebrate it?” Jayce gasps as if the statement had personally offended him. Viktor looks up from his work, finally turning to face his partner, a single, unimpressed eyebrow raised.
“I simply do not. Is that a problem?” he asks, relishing in the way Jayce’s cheeks flush.
“I- no, of course not, I was just… well, I wanted to know. So I can, you know, get something for you,” Jayce replies with a pout. Viktor wanted to laugh at the way he looked like a kicked puppy, but he figured that would be cruel, so he holds himself back.
“As much as I appreciate the gesture, I would rather my birthday simply not be acknowledged,” Viktor explains, and assuming the conversation is over, he turns back to his desk to continue rummaging through the pile of papers. However, he can feel Jayce’s eyes burning into his back occasionally, and he knows the neither scientists will be able to concentrate at all today if this goes on, so with a deep sigh, he finally turns back to face Jayce, a flush rising to the younger man’s cheeks again as he’s caught staring.
“December 29th,” Viktor relents, eyebrows raised. “Happy now?”
Jayce looks like he could sprout a tail and start wagging it. Viktor simply goes back to work and accepts the fact that Jayce will show up with a present in a few months. Maybe they’ll have a drink together, he has to admit that would be nice.
***
When Viktor walked into the lab on the 29th of December, he didn’t know what he was expecting. To be honest, the days had blurred together under the pressure of his work, so he had forgotten that today was his birthday. He had expected a normal day at the lab. If he had any idea of the date, perhaps he would have expected Jayce to walk in, holding a wrapped box, or a bottle of wine.
What he most certainly would never have expected, was for at least ten people to jump out in front of him, almost giving him a heart attack, the lights of lab flashing on as they yell “SURPRISE!!”
Viktor takes a step back in shock, his heart pounding in his chest as he grips his crutch tightly. When had-?
He spots Jayce, their eyes meeting, Jayce’s proud, joyful expression falling as soon as he registers the fire in Viktor’s eyes. The older man recognizes a few other people in the crowd - Sky, Mel, Heimerdinger, all smiling at him - but he doesn’t take the time to examine them all, turning on his heel and walking right back out of the lab, the door slamming shut behind him. He can hear confused, disappointed muttering coming from inside, and he forces himself to take a few deep breaths as he walks down the hallway. Where to? He has no idea. He’ll have to go back to the lab at some point. Although, maybe he should take a day off today. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to go back, not today, not after… that.
“Viktor!” Jayce calls, hurried footsteps approaching. Viktor curses his bad leg as he tries to force himself to walk faster, but it’s useless, there’s no way he’ll manage to get to his dorm room before Jayce catches up to him.
“Viktor- I- I don’t understand… what’s wrong?” Jayce’s voice is full of sorrow as he puts his hand on Viktor’s shoulder. Viktor shrugs it off as he keeps walking. At least Jayce sounds apologetic.
“Viktor, come on, please, talk to me,” Jayce pleads after a few beats of silence, and Viktor sighs angrily, coming to an abrupt halt.
“I told you, I don’t celebrate my birthday. I thought you would have respected my wishes, but clearly, I should not have trusted you,” he scoffs, looking up to glare at the taller man.
“Shit, Viktor, I- I’m so sorry, I thought-” Jayce cuts himself off, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, really, Vik. I thought, since you told me the date, that I could organize a surprise party for you. I shouldn’t have assumed, I’m so sorry.”
To his credit, Jayce did seem genuinely sorry, and Viktor can’t help but soften his gaze when he sees his partner’s eyes are starting to get moist. He sighs and looks away, pinching his nose.
“I appreciate your apology, Jayce, but I would rather be left alone now. Please go back and enjoy your party, I will see you tomorrow,” he says, struggling to keep his voice under control.
“I- are you sure? I can send everyone away, we can do something small, just the two of us?” Jayce stammers, then realizes his mistake. “O-or we could just have a normal day, do some work…”
Viktor closes his eyes as Jayce trails off, feeling the presence of Jayce’s hand hovering above his shoulder before he decides better of it.
“Jayce. Please, just leave me alone,” Viktor sighs. He wants to look at Jayce, look at his partner’s expression, but instead he simply starts walking once more, heading away from the lab, away from Jayce, and towards his dorm room, where he can sit in silence, working on equations and pretending this day had never happened. He can feel Jayce’s eyes burning into his back, and he knows the younger man is considering following him. He breathes out a sigh of relief when he hears his partner’s footsteps once more, slowly getting fainter until he can’t hear them anymore.
Viktor’s hands shake minutely as he unlocks his door, and the moment he’s safely in his room he practically slams the door shut behind him, slumping down onto the ground as he buries his head between his knees, forcing himself to breath. Jayce hadn’t meant it, he knows he hadn’t, but he can’t help but feeling betrayed. He’d told his partner something so personal, something know one else knew about him, expecting him to keep it under wraps, to respect Viktor’s wishes of not wanting to celebrate the occasion, because for him, it was less of a celebration, and more of a sobering reality check.
He feels tears slip down his cheeks, and opens his eyes to watch them splash to the wooden floor. He would have been ok with something small, he thinks. Something with Jayce. He would have liked to have a drink with his partner, maybe even go out for dinner. But instead, he had once again received solid proof that he cannot trust anybody. Everything about him, must be kept to himself, at all times. Because everything about him is a weakness to be exploited.
He sighs once more, wiping the tears off his cheeks as he steps towards the bed and sits down on it, pulling off his shirt and back brace, then his leg brace as well. He doesn’t bother taking off his pants, simply laying down and pulling the blanket over himself. It would be useless trying to do any work in this state, so he closes his eyes and allows sleep to overtake him.
***
When Viktor wakes up, it’s completely dark in his room. He groans, reaching out to turn on the lamp beside his bed, and blinks against the sudden glare. Once his eyes have adjusted, he seeks out the clock on his wall, his sleep-addled mind taking a moment to decipher the hands. It’s almost 1am. Great.
After pondering for a minute, he decides to go to the lab. He won’t be able to fall asleep again, and he has nothing else to keep him occupied until morning. He stops halfway through pulling on his leg brace, remembering the events of yesterday, cursing under his breath as he hesitates. But it’s past midnight, the lab will be deserted anyways, so he should be safe. He knows he’ll have to face Jayce eventually, but he would just rather not do it now, in the middle of the night, while still partially asleep.
He finishes putting on his braces and clothes, and grabs his crutch, walking out of his room, making sure to lock it behind him. He keeps an ear out for the familiar whistle of the night guard as he makes his way through the dark hallways - although he’s allowed to be out and about at night, he would rather not have to interact with anyone at the moment.
Thankfully, he arrives at the lab without any sign of life, and grabs his keys, fiddling with them for a moment before finding the right one, pushing it into the keyhole, only to find the door unlocked. Had Jayce forgotten to lock it? How irresponsible of him. Although the tensions had been quite high yesterday, so Viktor supposes he can’t really blame him that much for allowing it to slip his mind.
“Viktor!” Jayce exclaims as soon as the older man steps into the lab, and Viktor curses under his breath, screwing his eyes shut.
“Jayce,” he replies, his tone wary as he faces his partner. “What are you doing here this late?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” Jayce goes for a lighthearted tone, cringing when Viktor raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Right, right, sorry. Listen, I- I broke your trust. And, that was really shitty of me. I didn’t think before acting, and I- well, I should have respected your wishes. You told me you didn’t celebrate your birthday, and I shouldn’t have gone and planned a celebration after all, without your consent. I hope you can forgive me.”
Jayce finishes his speech with a sigh, looking down at the ground, seemingly prepared for Viktor to lash out at him. The older man stays silent for a few moments, unsure what to do, what to say, but the apology was so genuine, and Jayce looked like a puppy who had been left out in the rain, and Viktor simply couldn’t stay angry at him.
“I forgive you, Jayce.” Viktor smiles softly as Jayce looks up at him, his eyes wide and hopeful. “I understand that you only wanted to do something nice for me. For someone so smart, you can be incredibly stupid, you know that?”
Jayce scoffs indignantly, but the sound quickly softens into a chuckle, and he nods in agreement.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, I guess I can be quite a dumbass,” he admits, before biting his lip hesitantly. “Hey, can I ask… why don’t you like celebrating your birthday?”
Viktor closes his eyes. He knew this question was coming, and he didn’t want to have to answer it, not when he knew what Jayce’s reaction would be, but he owed his partner this much, at least.
“Well, first it was because of the death of my parents,” he explains. Predictably, Jayce gasps in horror. “As an orphan, there was no point in celebrating, really. No one to celebrate with, and it only reminded me of my parents not being there to witness me grow. And then, my disease started progressing, and my birthday only served to remind me that I was yet another year closer to death. Why would I celebrate something like that?”
“I- Viktor, shit, I didn’t think about-”
“Of course you didn’t, Jayce,” Viktor cuts him off. “No one does, except for people like me. It’s not something you should have to worry about.”
Viktor had been looking down at the ground the entire time, so he releases a breath of surprise when Jayce’s arms are suddenly wrapped around him, squeezing him tight, but not too tight, his partner gently holding him in a hug. Viktor blinks, before raising the arm not holding his crutch to cling to the back of Jayce’s shirt, smiling softly. If anyone were to ask him, he would refuse to admit it, but he did actually enjoy Jayce’s touchiness.
“Ok, ok, that’s enough,” Viktor pats him on the back once the hug had become too much to bear. He did have a limit.
“How about, instead of birthdays, from now on, we celebrate the birthday of hextech?” Jayce suggests, his eyes sparkling with hope. Viktor blinks in surprise, not having expected that.
“The… birthday of hextech?” he repeats, frowning in confusion.
“Yeah! The day we invented hextech together!” Jayce exclaims, pride in his voice. Viktor mulls over the idea in his head. The birthday of hextech would mean progress towards something good, not inevitable doom. He smiles warmly.
“Hm, yes. I would like that very much.”