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His heart skipped a beat as he saw her from across the room.
He shouldn’t be surprised to see her, he really shouldn’t.
She’s the only one who invites him to these things.
But, God, he hadn’t seen her in months!
Her hair pinned up like that in that peachy-orangey dress… He could’ve sworn she said she hated that dress.
But she was beautiful in it.
She even kept her glasses on tonight. What a dork.
“Olaf?”
He snapped out of his daze and tried to fix his expression quickly.
“Uh, yeah?” he tried to ask nonchalantly.
His friends exchanged a look between them.
“You okay there, Ollie?” Harper asked.
“You seem a bit…” Tony glanced past him. He could see how his eyes widened a bit, then the subtle smirk on his lips. “…distracted.”
Damn! He’d seen Kit!
Olaf cleared his throat.
“Nah, nah, it’s fine,” Olaf lied casually.
Gotta talk to her.
He reached into the pocket on his vest and pulled out his cigarettes.
“You two enjoy the party. I gotta go smoke. Tons, why don’t you go take Harper onto the dancefloor like a good boyfriend?”
“You’ll meet up with us again later, right?” Harper asked cautiously.
Olaf winged a bit. He couldn’t help but feel a bit bad leaving Harper during her first V.F.D event. But Tony had her covered, right?
He put on a charming smile.
“Worst case scenario, I see you in the morning,” he told her smoothly. “It’s a party!” He nudged Tony playfully. “Who knows who I’ll go home with, right?”
Tony rolled his eyes.
“You know our rules.”
“Yeah, yeah, no one-night-stands in the house. Blah, blah, blah,” Olaf agreed. He leaned in a bit desperately. “Come on, man! I gotta go smoke! I really got a craving!”
Tony stared at him suspiciously for a minute, then sighed.
“Go,” he dismissed. “Feed your habit. At least Harper and I have each other.” Tony gave him a stern look. “But if I can’t find you by midnight, find your own way home.”
“Got it,” he conceded. He turned the showman’s smile back on and placed a hand on both of their shoulders to guide them off. “Now, go! Schmooze! Drink! Dance! Show Harper how to navigate the snob convention with grace!”
They both smiled at him and shook their heads.
“Have fun, Olaf,” Harper wished him. “We’ll see you later.”
He waited a moment as he watched them walk away, then took a breath to steady his nerves. He looked around to see where Kit had gone.
Oh, thank God, not too far.
He breathed out.
He can’t just approach her directly, obviously, but he knew how to get her alone.
He moved into her line of sight, waiting for her to see him.
He flashed the cigarette in his hand as he caught her eye, then moved swiftly towards the balcony. He knew she wouldn’t follow him too quickly. Hell, the point was that no one was supposed to know he asked for her!
He sighed as he reached the balcony’s edge.
Now he really did need a smoke.
He took his matches from his inner pocket. They couldn’t confiscate what they couldn’t find.
Besides, those paranoid freaks, it’s not like he was planning anything with them.
They’re just for smoking.
Can’t get mad at him for that.
He lit the match off the banister’s edge with a flourish, smiling at the bright flash it had created. He placed the cigarette in his mouth and brought that pretty little flame up to light it.
As he pulled away, he watched as the match burned.
The light was… comforting… wasn’t it?
The way it flickered.
The warmth.
He could just drop it on the floor.
Would the concrete balcony even burn?
Maybe he could just let it burn like this.
Watch the little flame burn down the stick.
All the way down to his-
FINGERS! OW! OW! HOT! HOT! HOT!
He shook his hand until the match went out, dropping it off the balcony on accident. Keeping the cigarette in his mouth is all that kept him from shouting.
He took his stinging fingers to the cigarette to hold it in place as he inhaled, then pulled away as he breathed out a soothing puff of smoke.
“You really should break that awful habit.”
He jumped a bit at the sound of her voice.
He turned to see her.
Kit Snicket.
“Hello Olaf,” she greeted him softly.
“Kit,” he breathed.
She approached cautiously, avoiding his eyes.
“I’m surprised you came.”
“And miss a chance to see you?” he asked. “Never.”
She looked up at him with that crooked smile she gave him when they were kids. Those big brown eyes seemed shiny behind her lenses.
He cleared his throat as he felt himself stumble.
“Uh, yeah, been a while since we last talked.”
“Yes, it has,” Kit admitted sadly. “Things have been…” She couldn’t find the words. “Things have been a lot lately.”
“Yeah… I heard about…”
“Please don’t say it out loud.”
He turned from her and took another drag of his cigarette.
“Remember when you got him into that nasty habit?” she asked as she leaned on the banister with him.
Though her tone was jovial, he couldn’t help but scowl.
He sighed.
“I wasn’t actually challenging him to take one. He got pissy and stole one out of my pack to prove a point. I even tried to pull my matches away from him.”
Kit frowned a bit.
“I know you disliked each other, but can you humor me a moment? Just one good memory with him.”
He shook his head.
Her eyes went to the floor away from him.
His face scrunched in guilt.
Damn it. He’s already making her upset.
He put out the cigarette and offered his hand to her.
“You know, I can hear the music from inside. Wanna dance?”
She glanced back up at his offered hand and smiled bittersweetly.
“With you? Of course.”
She took his hand and let him guide her into a gentle sway.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he told her.
She blushed a bit at the softness in his voice.
She had to admit, the blue in his eyes was particularly hypnotizing tonight.
“Thank you,” she replied. “You look quite handsome yourself.”
“I always do,” he smirked.
She chuckled, turning his smile more genuine.
He spun her around and pulled her close to his chest.
She hummed softly as she nuzzled against his cheek.
“Where have you been?” he asked. “Or can you tell me?”
“It might not be wise to get into specifics,” she deflected. “What about you? It almost seems like you fell off the map.”
“I’ve been running with a bit of a different crowd recently,” he shrugged.
He spun her outward. She released his hand as she planted her feet firmly and stopped their dance.
She looked up at him with worry in her eyes.
“‘Different crowd?’” she asked cautiously.
He stared at her for a moment. Then spoke quickly as he tried to explain.
“No. No. Not like that,” he told her. “I’m… I’m actually doing pretty okay right now. Keeping my nose clean, ya know? Best behavior.”
She made an unsure expression.
“No, really!” he protested. “I have a good thing going for me right now!” He took his matchbook out to show her. “They’re just for smoking! Really! Maybe burning the sticks a little every once in a while-”
“Olaf,” she sighed warily.
“Kit, please, I mean it,” he pled. He sighed. “Listen, I actually came with a couple new friends tonight. They’re newbies. Adult Volunteers. They…” He winced. “They weren’t involved with everything from before! I have a completely clean slate with them and they’re good people.”
He paused.
“Really, really good people.”
He seemed to deflate a bit.
“Too good.”
Her brow furrowed. She couldn’t help but reach out to him. She flinched as he turned back to look at her.
“You’d like them,” he told her. “You really would. Harper’s super into books and Tony knows all that decorum shit.” He took a tentative step towards her. “They… they took me in. They’re treating me well. They’re like…” he searched for the word. “Family? I guess?”
She reached out again and rested a hand on his arm.
“You really would like them,” he told her softly. “I… I don’t know how I’d get away with introducing you, but I’d like to. If you want.”
She hesitated a moment, then gave him a pitying smile.
“Olaf, they sound lovely.” She glanced away from him. “But I’m not sure if-”
“Please don’t discount them because they like me, Kit. They really are good people.”
Kit flinched at his words. She looked up to see the sadness behind his eyes.
He sighed.
“Why’d you even invite me here, Kit? If you’re so ashamed of me, why yank my chain, huh?”
“I’m not ash-”
“Don’t lie to me,” he told her sternly. “Yes, you are. That’s why I can’t just go up to you and ask to dance at these things. That’s why I have to talk to you in signals and codes instead of just-” She gasped as he pulled her in close. “- pulling you in like I used to. The way you used to love everyone see me do.”
She flushed at his face so close to hers. Her eyes fell to his lips.
“Olaf…”
Just a little closer.
“Yeah?”
He kissed her softly, gently, slowly. The way that reminded her how much she was wanted.
He pulled away after an agonizing moment for both of them.
She paused, then smiled, then laughed.
He smiled back at her.
“Why are you under the impression I invited you?” she joked with him.
His smile turned a bit venomous and sarcastic at her words.
“Because you’re the only one who invites me to these things anymore,” he told her.
Her face fell.
“I feel like I don’t need to remind you of what happened at the last party you were actually invited to.”
Anger flashed briefly across his face. He let her go and leaned himself over the railing, avoiding her eyes.
“That was years ago now,” he muttered.
“Olaf, you could have killed her.”
“Yeah, that was kinda the plan!” he exclaimed.
She stepped back from him.
He sighed.
“Maybe I shouldn’t introduce you to my friends. Maybe it’s best I keep my old life and my new life separate.”
He felt a pang in his chest. The anxiety started to build.
“Are any of them here?” he muttered.
She fidgeted.
“Who exactly do you mean by ‘them?’”
“You know who I mean,” he sighed in frustration. “All of them! Any of them!”
She shook her head.
“No, Olaf, it’s just me.”
“Good.”
He sighed.
“I… I don’t think I want Harper and Tony to meet any of them on accident either.”
She took another step towards him. She very gently rested her hand on his chest.
“I think it’s good you’ve met new people,” she praised him. “I’m glad you’re making new friends.”
“Tch,” he sneered at her. He still wouldn’t look her in the eye.
She paused and studied him a moment. She tried to hide her irritation with him. He turned his body to face her, but refused to actually look at her?
What a child.
She sighed.
“We’ve all seemed to grow apart, you know. There are a lot of things that are different now.” She leaned against the balcony. “The Organization’s pulled us all in a lot of different directions.” She hesitated a moment. “No one really knows where B and B are right now.”
“B and B?” Olaf asked. “Beatrice and Bertrand are a thing now?”
“After Lemony-” Kit stopped herself with a wince. She couldn’t finish the sentence. “Yes, Beatrice and Bertrand are together now. They’re married, actually, but no one’s seen them since they left for their honeymoon. We…. All assume a shipwreck situation.”
Olaf gave her a once-over. He reached for his cigarettes and matchbook.
“Good riddance,” he said at he lit the match.
“Olaf!” Kit admonished him.
“What?!” he snapped back. “You want me to worry about the people who ruined my life?! You want me to care?!”
She stared at him. Dread came over her as she watched him light another cigarette. Her brow furrowed as she watched him out the flame.
“Maybe I can excuse your feelings towards Beatrice…” she muttered. “But keep Bertrand’s name out of it. He’s my family.”
“Ha!” he scoffed. Smoke came freely from his lips as he laughed at the notion. “We’re just going to pretend he wasn’t there, huh?” He took another drag and scowled. “And I seem to remember you suddenly getting a lot chummier with Beatrice after-”
She saw the hurt in his eyes even as he turned away from her again.
“After…” he stumbled. “After what happened.” He glanced at her. “Why was it that that made you closer? The fact you were both lying to me about it? Bonding about going behind my back?”
“Olaf, I did end up telling you the truth.”
“A decade later! What? Is that how long it takes you to feel guilty? Or did I just happen to look extra pathetic that night? Standing alone smoking on the balcony because everyone that used to be my friend had finally drifted from me!” He felt the tears well up in his eyes. He hid them as he turned to take another drag. He blew out the smoke and took a clean breath before he could face her again. “Everyone but you for some reason.”
She looked up at him, her expression unreadable other than the melancholy she and her brother almost always displayed.
“You aren’t pathetic,” she told him.
She went to embrace him, her arms around his waist and her face buried in his shoulder. He returned the gesture with his free hand.
“I don’t want to burn you,” he told her nonchalantly. He turned his head to take a puff of the cigarette as he held her.
“You won’t,” she replied.
He sighed as he put the cigarette out on the banister, then pulled her closer to kiss her forehead.
She grimaced a bit at the softness of the gesture.
“Olaf… By the time the masquerade happened…”
“Yeah, yeah, some of the stuff people stopped talking to me for was my fault, I get it,” he brushed off. “Not all of it though.”
Kit sighed.
“How are you so self-aware and so oblivious at the same time?”
He nuzzled into her hair as his other arm came around her to tighten his hold.
“I thought you guys were super specific about words. I’m not ‘oblivious’ I just…” His words were muffled. “Don’t want to think about it.”
“You were still getting invited to some things after that,” Kit reminded cautiously, pulling away to look him in the eye.
“You mean that disaster beach trip?” he asked. “Ask me when the last time Josie talked to me was.”
“You’re still calling her ‘Josie,’” she pointed out softly.
Olaf grimaced.
“Josephine,” he corrected.
Her face fell.
“If it makes you feel better…” she muttered “…she hasn’t spoken to any of us since the funeral.”
“The one I was disinvited from,” he reminded her. He grumbled under his breath. “He knew that weird hour rule. It wasn’t my fault.”
“Olaf!” she scolded.
“I’m just saying maybe I kinda get why she’s a shut-in now! Watching it happen makes it worse!” he snapped.
She flinched out of his arms.
His eyes widened, another flash of pain across his features. Then anger. Then resignment.
He growled under his breath as his fingers went to his temple.
“Screw it. I need a drink.”
He turned from her to make his way back inside.
She grabbed his sleeve without thinking.
“Olaf, wait!”
“My friends are waiting for me inside, Kit,” he reminded her with slight annoyance.
“I know, I just-”
“Just what, Kit?” he asked her directly. “Just hoped you could talk me into forgiving and forgetting what happened? Just hoped I’d drop the grudge? Just hoped I’d be a good boy and pretend everything was fine so you and your friends could go back to normal because now everyone’s drifting away from you?”
“I just missed you, you idiot!” she shouted at him.
She balked as her hand flew to her mouth.
He stumbled himself, turned his face to hide his blushing.
“You… You don’t mean that,” he chuckled sardonically.
She sighed in defeat.
“Listen. You’re right. We are all drifting apart and that scares me.” She pulled herself closer to him. He flinched at seeing her eyes welled up with tears as she spoke so calmly and bluntly. “I’m starting to think maybe we might all never be in the same place again. Even my own family! J’s sucked into Organization work more than ever. L’s gone. I have no idea where B is. My B. But…” She sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder. “I could always rely on you. I wanted to see you.” She hid her face in the crook of his neck. “When I saw the opportunity to invite someone… Maybe it was impulsive and stupid, but I took the opportunity to see you.”
He swallowed nervously. His heart was beating out of his chest.
“I… love… when you do something stupid and impulsive,” he managed to strangle out.
She hummed softly as she nuzzled into his neck.
“That’s just like you,” she praised.
She pulled away slightly. She guided one of his hands to her waist as she entangled hers in the other.
“I’d like to try that dance again, if you’ll allow me,” she smiled gently up at him.
He flinched at her hand on his shoulder, then relaxed easily at her touch. He nodded mindlessly.
The two swayed and glided seamlessly together.
He couldn’t help but begin crack a smile as she grinned up at him.
It felt like old times. Good old times. They were comfortable again.
His eyes widened a bit in surprise. He hadn’t even noticed they’d made their way inside until the saw the glare in her lenses in the new light.
He looked around them.
They weren’t exactly drawing a crowd, but they weren’t exactly going unnoticed either.
“Kit…” he asked cautiously. “Do you realize where we are?”
“I do,” she told him succinctly. She placed a hand on his cheek and guided his eyes back to her. “I told you I wasn’t ashamed of you.”
He laughed to himself.
“Yeah, at a party where we don’t know anybody.”
“I know a few people here, Olaf. In fact, I know the host. That’s how I could invite you,” she corrected. She pulled him into a soft kiss. “So, stop saying I’m ashamed of you.”
He grinned widely at her.
It’d been ages since she’d kissed him in a public place.
His smile softened. Her eyes widened in surprise at seeing a light in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in quite a while. He held her face gently and nuzzled his nose against hers. She giggled in response.
“God, you haven’t done that since we were teenagers!”
“I got a little sentimental, screw me!” he laughed.
She chuckled flirtatiously.
“Maybe later.”
He raised his brow. Then smirked.
He leaned in to whisper in her ear.
“Is that a serious offer?”
She blushed a bit at the sound of his voice.
“Possibly,” she admitted.
“Where are you staying?”
“A hotel nearby.”
“Well then,” he said with a grin as he let her go “I’ll just go see if I can find my friends and tell them I won’t be home tonight.”
She stopped him as he tried to walk away.
“You live with them?” she asked.
“Yeah, could’ve sworn I said that,” he replied awkwardly. He rolled his eyes dramatically. “And ever since Harper moved in, Tony has this rule that I’m not allowed to bring anyone home with me.”
He flinched.
“N-not that I’ve been bringing a super ton of people home with me between these little run-ins or anything!” he defended.
She gave him a look.
“For an actor, you’re a terrible liar,” she told him.
She pulled him back outside onto the balcony.
“I thought you said you didn’t want to introduce me,” she told him.
“I mean… I wasn’t planning on it,” he replied. “Things are way too complicated to do that. But they’re my ride and my roommates. I’m supposed to be considerate or some shit, aren’t I?”
“Or…” she suggested. She leaned into him flirtatiously. She pulled him down roughly by his tie and spoke to him in sultry tone. “You and I could sneak out the back door. I have the cab tonight.”
His breath hitched as she choked him slightly. God, he loved when she took charge of him.
“Lead the way, Miss Snicket.”
-
He woke up with his arms around her.
He groaned at himself. He turned over to look at the clock. A little before 3 AM.
He sighed as he sat up. He looked over at her sleeping form.
Her hair was loose and beautiful out of that bun of hers. She actually looked very peaceful.
Another sigh as he shook his head. The sooner he was gone, the sooner she could get back to her peace. Or whatever she was doing in her life outside of him.
Be quiet.
Don’t wake her up.
Find your clothes.
Get out.
Figure out how to get home.
He tried to move slowly.
“Olaf?”
He jumped at hearing her voice, then silently cursed himself. He’d just barely found his trousers and he’d already woken her up?
He sheepishly looked back at her. She was sitting up, the blanket barely keeping her covered.
She gave a disappointed sigh and reached over to turn on the lamp.
“You’re leaving,” she noted.
He sighed and sat at the foot of the bed to put his clothes back on.
“Kinda figured that’s what you would’ve wanted,” he told her bluntly. “You really want to risk someone seeing me come out of your hotel room?”
She stayed quiet, all the answer he needed.
He pulled his arms through his sleeves.
“We gotta quit doing this,” he told her.
“I know,” she told him solemnly.
He sighed and fell onto his back beside her.
“Were you drinking last night?” he asked.
“No, why?” she replied.
“Because I wanted to hear your reason for why this happened again,” he replied. “I’m a fucking moron. What’s your excuse?”
She lied down next to him and curled into his side.
“I don’t know, Olaf. I don’t know,” she sighed in frustration.
He put his arm back around her and just let her stay there with him for a moment.
“You swing way too wildly from narcissism to self-loathing, you know,” Kit said. “I wish you wouldn’t say things like ‘I’m a fucking moron.’”
“I’d never call you a moron,” he told her. “You’re one of the only actual smart people I know.”
“You know what I meant,” she scolded lightly. Another sigh as she relaxed into him. “Are you going to call one of your friends to come get you?”
“At 3 AM?” he asked. “Nah, Tony’s definitely asleep now. And Harper can’t drive, not that I’d want to wake her up either.”
She raised a brow at him, then shut her eyes again as she nestled herself closer.
“Maybe you are becoming more considerate.”
“I also just don’t really want to answer any questions,” he admitted. “They mean well, but sometimes they care a little too much. They’re gonna ask about you. I don’t exactly want to give them the impression we’re getting back together or something.”
Kit pulled away as she sat up.
“Whatever this-” she said as she pointed back forth between them “-is does not mean we’re getting back together.”
“Yeah, I know,” he told her with a roll of his eyes. “I’m fully aware of that. Thanks.”
There was a heavy pause between the two of them.
“You said it again last night,” Kit told him. “While we were-”
“Yeah, well, you said it back,” Olaf pointed out, sitting up to meet her. “Maybe we don’t put too much stock in the things we say mid-orgasm, huh?”
Another pause as they faced away from each other.
“Let me take you home in the cab,” Kit offered. “I don’t want you wandering the streets in the middle of the night.”
“Is that out of concern for my safety or because you don’t trust me?” he asked sarcastically.
“Olaf,” she scolded.
“Fine, fine,” he sighed. “But if you’d just let me leave before, you would be asleep by now. Don’t you have some Volunteer crap to do?”
She stepped out of bed and began looking for something to wear.
“I have a meeting with an Associate of mine in the morning, but he’ll understand if I run a bit behind.”
He watched her as she moved around the room, taking in the body he wouldn’t see again for quite some time.
“How is J, anyway?” he asked sincerely.
She froze.
“How did you-?”
“You always get this tone in your voice when it’s one of your brothers,” he told her. He shrugged. “As it happens, I actually like Jacques. He’s never really given me a reason not to other than being a little bit of a brown nose.”
She gave him a sideways smile and shook her head at him.
“I’ll tell him you said ‘Hi.’”
“Well, you’re not afraid of getting asked questions,” he joked as he laid back down.
“He’s my twin. Organization be damned, we tell each other everything.” She put her glasses back on and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. “And that’s really important now that it’s just the two of us.” She gave him a gentle smack to the arm. “Now get up. I need to drive you home.”
“Eh,” he shrugged as he kept his eyes shut. “Maybe I’m not in a rush to die at the hands of your driving habits.”
He laughed as she gave him another quick punch to the shoulder.
-
The drive was long and quiet.
They both longed for the other to say something but neither wanted the first word.
Kit turned out her lights as she pulled up to the house, trying to stay as discreet as possible.
Another moment of silence.
“I don’t know when I’m going to see you next,” Olaf stated as he stared at the house.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Kit offered.
They glanced at each other, holding each other’s gazes for just a bit too long.
He gave in. Leaned in and kissed her cheek.
“Goodnight, Kit,” he told her as he opened the door.
“Goodbye, Olaf,” she replied.
He stood in the cool night air as he watched her drive away before heading inside.
He sighed as he entered the dark entryway and locked the door behind him.
He glanced at his door, then glanced over at his friends’ bedrooms.
He snuck over and opened Tony’s door.
Sound asleep.
The next room over.
Harper too.
He took a breath.
They didn’t need to know about this.
He took in the size of his bedroom.
He didn’t remember it being this empty before. Maybe he needed more stuff.
He let out a final deep sigh as he fell into his bed, his face buried deep in his pillow.