Chapter Text
Every Friday, Tweek would go over to Craig’s house for a sleepover. At first, it had been something they’d done to keep up the illusion of a relationship, but as they grew older and their relationship became more for them and less for the town, their tradition lived on.
This Friday, it would only be them as Tricia had recently taken up figure skating and had a competition in Denver, their parents accompanying her.
It was perfect weather for a sleepover too, in Craig’s opinion. It had been raining all day, a light thunderstorm forecast for later that night. Not only was it the perfect weather to watch horror movies in, it also meant Tweek getting even more freaked out than usual - giving Craig a chance to cuddle with him without needing to ask, as Tweek would be clinging to him the second the rain hitting the windows got the slightest bit louder.
His plan worked, obviously, he knew his boyfriend pretty well. As soon as the storm really got into the swing of things, the rain beating down on the glass, Tweek practically fused with Craig’s side. The room was dark except for the flickering light being casted on them from the tv, the horror movie being a random one that he’d found on dvd at the thrift store the day before. Craig didn’t really care about the movie, he found most horror movies to be sort of humorous - Tweek’s complete terror at them adding to the hilarity.
Just as the movie was beginning to ramp up, reaching the tense climax as the generic horror movie antagonist was encroaching on the generic horror movie protagonist, there was a noise from outside and the power shut off.
The next sound came from Tweek, a scream that could burst ear drums. Craig was used to his screams, but even so, he still winced slightly.
“Relax, honey, the storm probably just knocked over a power line or something.” Craig attempted to reassure, momentarily forgetting that offering solutions wasn’t the best thing to do with Tweek, as it usually just agitated him more.
“But-“ Tweek began whatever panicked rebuttal he was going to put forth when a crackling sound ripped through the air, followed by a bright blue light just outside the window.
“AH! What is that!?” Tweek yelled, pointing at the window, almost smacking Craig in the face in the process.
Craig didn’t know what it was, so he couldn’t offer an explanation… Unless he went to go check it out.
He got up with a slight huff, mentally cursing whatever this light was for interrupting their sleepover.
“Craig? What are- You’re not going out there, are you?”
“I’m gonna go see what it is.” Craig responded with a slight shrug as he made his way over to the front door.
“What the fuck? Are you insane? What if it’s dangerous? What if-“ Tweek quickly devolved into distressed sounds rather than words, staring after Craig with wide eyes.
Craig just waved him off, he knew it was a bit of a dick move to be so dismissive, but the light was intriguing him. This light could’ve been a once in a life time, universal anomaly. What if it was something from space? That would be cool as hell, in Craig’s opinion.
Before he could open the front door, he could hear voices outside. They both sounded to be middle aged men, but one had a noticeably deeper voice than the other. Craig moved to the window beside the door, peeking through the gaps in the blinds to get a look at who it was.
He didn’t recognise either man at first. They both appeared to be a similar height, the one with darker (and much less) hair seemed to be a few inches taller though. The other man, messy blonde hair surrounding his face, was holding a baby carrier in one hand, a worn messenger style bag slung over the opposite shoulder.
The blonde man appeared to be pretty nervous about something, shaking slightly as he spoke, “Th-This- ngh - this was a stupid idea. We should just-“
The darker haired man placed a hand on his companions shoulder, squeezing it gently, “Babe, come on, you’re the one who said that you only trust us to look after her, so-“
“This isn’t what I - gah - meant by that!”
Craig was watching curiously, forgetting that he’d been trying to be stealthy. His face was borderline pressed against the glass now, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape as he took in the sight.
This couple… They… They couldn’t be, right?
“No, you just wanted to skip out on date night, but, I won’t let that happen. You haven’t relaxed since she was born, you need a break.” The taller man rebutted, a slight smirk on his face.
“And time travel was the solution?” The blonde man asked, his expression and tone conveying his disbelief at his partners thought process.
The taller man’s eyes briefly flicked to the side, seeing the shadow of someone watching from the window.
“Well, we don’t have much choice now. Look.” He uttered, gesturing to the window, his companion’s eyes widening in shock at the sight of Craig watching them.
Craig’s reaction time was slightly delayed and he was unable to duck out of sight before both men spotted him. His hasty attempt at moving away from the window made quite a bit of noise, which was enough to break Tweek out of his fear paralysis over on the couch. He rushed to Craig’s side, eyeing him with an alarmed expression.
“What? What is it? Who is it? Should we call the police? Or-Or firefighters?”
Craig shook his head, this situation was weird, sure, but he’d literally once shot lazers out of his eyes at a giant guinea pig after being taken to Peru… so, weirder things had happened.
“Uh, no, it’s just us.” Craig replied, still a little confused about what was even going on, but he was slowly wrapping his head around it.
“Don’t lie to me! I can hear people out there!” Tweek screeched in his face, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. Clearly, his choice of words was a little off.
With a slight sigh, Craig reached behind him and swung the front door open. Both Tweek’s seemed displeased by his clear disregard for safety.
“You didn’t have the door locked!?” Current-day Tweek yelled, gripping onto Craig’s shoulders tighter.
What was presumably future-Tweek was whisper shouting at what was presumably future-Craig, “What was wrong with you? Did you always just open the door for strangers, in the middle of the night?”
Craig struggled to keep a straight face, he found the similarities amusing, but also quite a bit endearing. It was nice to know that some things weren’t going to change, Craig didn’t exactly like change.
Tweek seemed to overhear what his future self was saying, and quickly put the pieces together, having much more of a reaction than Craig did.
“What the fuck? Is- You- Me- Us?!” Tweek struggled to get his words out, frantically looking between Craig and their future selves.
Craig sort of shrugged, “I guess so.”
“Why are you so calm? This isn’t normal! This-This…” Tweek trailed off, too freaked out to utter any more words, resorting to yet another sound of anxiety as his eyes quickly analysed the two men stood on the stoop.
Craig didn’t feel calm, this wasn’t normal, Tweek was right. But, weird shit happened all the time in South Park so it was easy to at least give the illusion of being calm, at least until he was alone and could freak out in his own way. His neutral face faltered slightly as a realisation hit him - he was going to go bald while Tweek, the chronic hair puller, got to keep his hair. No way that was fair.
Tweek glanced back at Craig to recheck his reaction to all this, noticing the mildly upset expression on his face. With confusion, still filled to the brim with anxiety, Tweek grabbed him by the shoulders, “Will you please just freak out with me like a normal person?!”
That seemed to snap Craig out of it slightly as he arched an eyebrow, “I don’t think that’s what normal people do.” He stated on instinct, quickly shutting himself up after seeing the murderous intent in Tweek’s eyes, deciding that any attempts made to try and save himself would only make it worse - and it’d be really awkward.
Things were getting awkward anyway, future Craig clearing his throat to get their past selves attention while future Tweek practically vibrated on the spot with anxiety. “Can you two focus? Jesus Christ, I don’t remember either of us being this retarded.” Adult Craig muttered the second half more to himself, but they all still heard him and he earned a smack to the shoulder by his husband, the same murderous intent glinting in his eyes.
“We’re not retarded. You’re retarded.” Craig spat back at his older self, Tweek’s anxiety at the situation fading slightly as he sighed in mild disappointment at how much of a himbo Craig could be sometimes. Clearly that trait stayed with him, as evident by their current situation.
Tweek finally felt brave enough to make eye contact with his older self, who seemingly knew exactly what he was thinking as his older self shrugged with a similar sigh. How could someone be so smart yet so dumb?
Tweek took another sharp intake of air to prepare himself mentally for the absolute absurdity that was sure to follow, “So… You-? We need a babysitter?” He asked in as calm of a voice as he could muster, still struggling with the weirdness of this whole thing.
The adults nodded, future Tweek handing the infant and the bag to his past self as he nervously explained the correct way to hold her. Whilst the exchange between the two Tweek’s was going on, Craig scowled up at his future self, still mad about being called retarded, but he couldn’t deny his curiosity any longer.
With a skeptical tone he asked possibly the stupidest question Tweek had ever heard him ask, “Which one of us gets pregnant?”
Tweek, not wanting to shout now that he was holding a baby in his arms, looked at Craig with his face scrunched up in disbelief as he simply whispered, “Oh my fucking god… You are so retarded.”
“What? It’s a fair question. I just want to know which one of us-“
“Neither of us, you fucking moron, we’re both boys. We can’t get pregnant.”
Their future selves seemed to already know where this conversation was going - clearly Craig had questioned this before as adult Tweek was looking over at his husband in amusement while adult Craig pretended he wasn’t extremely embarrassed about what his younger self was about to say.
“Yes we could, Clyde-“
“That was not a scientific journal, that was Hamilton m-preg fan-fiction.” Younger Tweek hissed in exasperation, using a headache inducing amount of conscious effort not to yell now he was holding a baby… Their baby. God this was so weird.
Craig pressed his lips into a line, glaring sulkily down at his feet to hide his embarrassed blush. Clearly the embarrassment still lingered even in the future as adult Craig cleared his throat to speak and save either himself, his younger self or both of them from focusing on their own stupidity.
“So. We need to get going,” He took a step backwards off the stoop, taking his husband by the hand, “Try not to kill our daughter.”
Adult Tweek slapped his husband once more, looking equal parts horrified and pissed before looking back at their younger selves, his expression softening again, “We’ll be back for her soon. Bye-Bye Stripe, have fun with… well… us? This is so fucking weird, man.”
Craig stopped sulking at the mention of his future daughters name, a hint of a smile on his face as he glanced over at the infant in Tweek’s arms. Tweek looked slightly less joyful at the name chosen for his future child, arching a confused eyebrow, “I-I’m sorry? Stripe?”
His older self nodded, chuckling wryly, “Yeah… You’ll get used to it eventually. She is really cute.”
“Seriously?” Tweek turned to his boyfriend, “You’re going to name our daughter after your guinea pig?”
Craig looked away from the sleeping baby girl, “Hey, no, it wasn’t me. It was him.” He pointed at his future self - the one currently backing away from the house to return to the time portal.
“That is you, jackass.” Tweek hissed. If he wasn’t holding the baby, he’d be smacking some sense into Craig.
“See, told you it was a dumb name.” Future Tweek whispered to his husband as they walked into the portal.
“You like it though. It fits her.” Craig replied with a grin, both men disappearing in a similar burst of light to the one they appeared in.
The two teenage boys were left in the doorway, bickering over the name of their future daughter. This Friday night had certainly just got a hell of a lot more interesting, that was for sure.