Work Text:
Ryuuko has gotten sleepy, she's been dozing off, waking up then dozing off again for a few times. So, Fuchi decides to check the time at the corner of his screen.
21.40
It's not that late for him. Little kids do get tired and sleepy so easily, especially at this hour, he's jealous. He does get tired easily, but getting sleepy is.. a rare occasion to say the least. The thought spilled out of his mind in the form of a sour chuckle. His expression quickly becomes a frown.
Perhaps he had overstayed? Oh right, his train ride is soon too, he gotta go now if he doesn't want to risk missing the train. What a pity.
Tobi who was sitting beside him on the couch gave a confused look which required him to tilt his head upward. The show the three of them are watching right now isn't on its funny part, he wonders why the other is chuckling.
Fuchi returns the look, he blinks a few times. It's strange, or more like awkward, he's not used to seeing Tobi's face(or anyone's really) this clearly. One, because of his previous balloon disease and now his terrible eyesight, but thanks to their proximity now he can see his face pretty clearly. Without his phone screen too, seeing him like this feels much more real, and.. alive. Despite the boy's rather stoic nature.
Tobi also thinks Fuchi is acting strange, because his eyes were wider than usual. But this isn't exactly the first time so Tobi brushes it off and looks back at the TV. Breaking the eye contact also breaks Fuchi out of his reverie.
Moreover, the unintentional staring contest made Tobi feel-
"I think I'm going back now, it has gotten pretty late. Ryuuko seems tired already." Fuchi blurts out, as he stands up abruptly.
It reminds him, he also feels tired, so tired he nearly forgot he has plans today.
Ryuuko jolts awake and immediately gives Fuchi a sharp look, then starts complaining on how she’s not tired at all. Meanwhile, Tobi's eyebrows furrow, he seems hesitant to stand up, and he's also staring at Fuchi, or maybe that's only in his head.
'If anything, he's probably glad that I finally decided to leave.'
"I'll take you to the station." Tobi stood up after a moment.
"I wanna go too!" Ryuuko, who "appears" to have regained her energy, rushed to grab her jacket. Took her a bit of an effort to wear it though.
Fuchi opened his mouth, as if to comment. To decline their offer, but, a voice in the back of his head tells him he would regret doing so. He simply responded with his usual smile. The one that looks forced with the lowered brow.
‘This is probably the last he's gonna see them, might as well make it last.’
"Thanks, but you really don't have to." It was somewhat a mumble but Tobi clearly heard it. He glanced at Fuchi for a moment before grabbing his scarf and wrapping it around his neck. As if saying he insists on taking him to the station.
‘They're doing this out of pity aren't they? It's no use.’
. . .
The walk to the station is rather quiet. Both Tobi and Ryuuko don't mind the silence. Neither does Fuchi, or at least he should. As he stares into their own shadow, it becomes obvious, something that Fuchi has been trying to get out of his mind.
A distance. It's not much but it is enough to create an obvious separation between him and the other two. Well, he knows and doesn't mind(of course) that Tobi has to constantly hold Ryuuko's hand and keep her close to him, but still, he feels distant. Now that he pays attention, there is another thing very close to Tobi, that is Baku, Tobi's zingai.
Zingai, yes it is something that will always stay close to its owner(if you can call it that), physically,
And metaphorically.
Fuchi stares at his own shadow, as it momentarily switches to his zingai's shadow. Oh how he knows it too well. Nobody else seems to notice so he tries his best to hide any reaction.
Turns out, the silence pains him.
So Fuchi decides to change that. Maybe it will distract him.
"You know, sometimes I wish I was a bit shorter. People notice me too easily this way and I can't even notice them."
"I'd rather be taller like you, what did you even eat to grow that tall? You're not even eating properly."
"I don't know. It's probably my genes, and your height is okay Tobi, at least you won't stand out as much."
"You'll stand out anyway with that scar regardless of height."
"Hahaha, fair enough."
"Hoah! A cat! Buchi! It looks like you."
The one mentioned squirmed at the nickname. Said cat had a black and white fur, emphasis on the black. One of its eyes is surrounded by black fur while other parts of the face remain white, except for the tip of its nose. Ryuuko runs off chasing the cat.
"Oh, isn't it similar to the one we saw a few days ago To-"
Tobi is no longer beside him, now ahead of him, running to catch up with the white haired gremlin. Fuchi doesn't have the energy to run, so he just sighed and hoped they're not gonna go too far.
. . .
They finally arrived at the station.
As they approach the platform, Tobi is back to being quiet, perhaps it's because Fuchi stops bringing up random topics. Though he notices Tobi walks slightly slower than usual, maybe because he's also sleepy. Maybe, or maybe...
Hahaha, to think that Tobi is upset because he's leaving, impossible. Even if it's true(which can't be), he's been planning today for the past weeks now, he can't just cancel it. So he gotta go back early. Again it's utterly impossible but what a funny thought isn't it?
“Bye Buchi!”
“See you tomorrow.”
“. . . yea.. sure, see you tomorrow.”
He can't cancel the plan, no, don't even question it. Fuchi tries to ignore Tobi’s slightly pursed lips.
And.. they're gone, what seems to be the only lively sight in that platform on the cold night. The image of a little girl, who's waving at the train's door and a boy who accompanies her, staring blankly in the same direction.
. . .
The beach is up ahead. It's been a while since he last visited a beach, let alone this beach.
He has repeated the word thrice. Makes him wonder: Why is it even called that?
Why did he choose this place?
His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden buzz of his phone. You know what, maybe it can help him see in this dark place. He pulls it out of his pocket and is greeted with a low battery notification.
He dismisses the notification. Now he's on twitter, the last app he opened a while back. His own profile is shown because he had just finished posting. Fuchi reads the caption of his most recent post.
"At my friend's house."
Thanks to that friend's help he actually managed to clean up his apartment earlier today. Now that he's on twitter might as well post where he's currently at right? Just like last time.
What for? Nothing. Is it really just for nothing? Just for the sake of it? There's a reason, actually, Fuchi would rather pretend it's not there though.
'The view is great, that's why. Just get it done quickly.'
He can feel his hands shaking as he takes the picture.
His own thoughts keep questioning him as he's trying to post which makes writing a caption difficult, so forget adding one he rarely does anyway.
Post.
‘You want someone to save you, don't you?'
Fuchi immediately closes twitter.
'He didn't post anything, he didn't click the button he almost did but well, he missed.' Convincing himself of that is easier than having to face his own thoughts. To convince himself further he decides to turn off his notifications, this way no one could reach out to him.
Maybe he should just take a walk.
. . .
Meanwhile the duo has arrived back at their apartment.
Tobi leaves Ryuuko to watch the movie on the couch alone as he tidies up any remaining dishes or packages from tonight's dinner. He's not too curious about the movie's plot, he can just ask Ryuuko later. Cleaning up reminds him, today Fuchi actually ate a bit more than he usually does. Shouldn't give it much thought, maybe prison food was just that bad.
There's still some pizza slices left, he grabs one and sits on the dining table. Tobi checks his phone, maybe Mai gave him a mission, or it'll just be a random video from Monika. It's none of the above. But a twitter notification.
'Fuchi posted something?'
He clicked it.
He knows immediately where that is, despite being so dark, there's no other beach near Fuchi's place and they've been there.
A haunting picture.
It's just a picture of a beach, but at midnight? The concern is reasonable, but if it were anyone else maybe Tobi would just DM them but this is Fuchi, he's aware of his tendencies. Well, maybe he's still overreacting, better expect the worst than regret though. He already tried calling Fuchi, which the other didn't answer.
Either way he made Ryuuko see him leap off the balcony of his apartment, after telling her to close the door for him. Sorry, but the lift would take too long.
“He left again!? What is it now that he's in such a hurry for?” The girl stood in the apartment hallway with an irritated expression. She does not plan to budge.
Taking the train is out of the question as there's probably no ride to get there now let alone a ticket. Just like that time when he's chasing after the headless dragon and many other times, Tobi jumps between buildings and sprints on top of it.
"You really should be more careful." Baku comments after Tobi nearly misses a landing. His current main focus is speed so safety barely crossed his mind, it's all because what-ifs fill his head if he spends another second wasting his time.
Tobi doesn't bother to think of a response.
. . .
Fuchi stopped walking. The waves have gotten higher as the hour ticks in. Resulting in it reaching him, making his shoes wet. Before long, another wave hits his feet again, and again.
'The water is really cold. It's fine though, as long as I can feel something.'
He doesn't bother to take off his soggy shoes and socks. Some sand has also gotten into it now. He can feel how each sweep of the wave feels like it's washing off the sand, before it came to him that it's just adding more.
'Is the wave gonna get higher than this?’
Fuchi pulls out his phone. His lock screen shows 23.58. There's also a missed call notification from Tobi, guess he did post on his twitter just now, or maybe he left something in his apartment. Forget it.
No wonder the waves are this high, it's midnight, guess it's not getting any higher at least. At this point he might as well do "it" tomorrow. As to not stain today's memories, that surprisingly turns out pretty well.
So well that he decides to look back on it. So well that perhaps tomorrow wouldn't be that bad. Maybe similar days await him, even after the incident. Now he finds himself in the gallery app.
For a moment there was hope, but not the kind he expected.
A hope that someone still pity him, or maybe even care about him.
But still, that hope won't guarantee him a normal life, not even going back to how he used to be. So it's no use, really.
Yet the embrace of that hope, it begs him to stay. No, it wouldn't change anything. He has been waiting for ages just to do this, he has made his mind. He can't just turn back.
Maybe he should just stop getting distracted by.. the taste of happiness, which still lingers.
Are you sure you want to delete this item?
Cancel | Delete
"Thank you for today, I suppose."
. . .
There's just one picture left. He felt an odd sensation brush his wrist as he looked at the last picture. Nothing touched his hand, or held it. He's just reminiscing, he never intended to. But the flood of emotions that came after that only made both his hands start shaking.
And then his vision starts to blur in a strange way, he's tearing up. Fuchi can feel his eye sockets no longer able to hold the tears from falling. He doesn't resist, and simply accepts the tears landing on his phone screen. Why is he crying now?
That's a dumb question to ask isn't it? No one in this world knows the answer better than him. He just doesn't want to admit it. But it's no use keeping these photos anyway, it's not because he has no use for it but because soon, he won't be able to use it anymore.
In the end, he accidentally(or at least he convinced himself so) clicked the cancel button instead of the delete button.
Fuchi no longer bothers to delete the photo of Tobi holding his hand. Knowing it's just more trouble than it's worth.
He should just stop looking at these photos. Fuchi exits the gallery app, the other app that was open is his camera. And so he clicked it. It's sort of helping him see better, although it's still dark right now so it's not much. He notices how one of his shoes is tied differently than the other, making it more loose.
The sight and sound of waves comes and goes like it's an unending cycle, it feels calming, almost. If only that feeling of the wave momentarily taking away his sorrow as it washed over his feet would last forever. Which is possible, he just has to let the wave swallow him entirely, so he would never let go by it.
Fuchi took a step forward. The sand in his shoes is not worth the thought in the face of a new hope, a new light. And so he took another step, and another, and many others, until the light greets him.
. . .
Tobi tries to catch his breath after finally arriving at the beach. His legs feel like it's about to give up standing. He can't see Fuchi anywhere near. There are footprints, though he is unsure of the owner.
He hurriedly takes off his shoes and jacket. then throws them haphazardly. As he approaches the shore, a shoe is carried back by the wave. Tobi lifts it only to see it was Fuchi's.
'This means that it hasn't been a while before he's gone.'
Without a second thought, Tobi dashed into the water. Decides to put Baku down somewhere in the process, knowing he would probably have to swim. As the water reached his chest, he could finally see, within the dark water, a faint colour of light brown. It's more dull than ever, Fuchi's scarf that is.
Tobi tries to keep his eyes open as he dives into the water and tries to get to Fuchi. No matter how much his eyes sting from the salty seawater or sand that got into his eye, he has to keep them open. Somehow he managed to grab the boy. Swimming back up is a separate struggle though. His clothes are soaked and heavy making it harder to move, he's also carrying the weight of another person. Not to mention the water is so cold his limbs might go numb anytime.
'I can't lose him. Not now. Not again.'
Tobi could've sworn he nearly drowned after failing to get to the surface because the wave kept pushing him, but the adrenaline gave him the much needed extra strength. He gasped for air the moment they reached the surface. Fuchi stays limp as he hangs on Tobi's side. He could see Fuchi's eyes flutter for a moment, or maybe that's just his imagination.
They were lucky that a wave was right behind to give a bit of help in pushing them towards the shore. Things start to become less scary once Tobi can stand on solid sand. They nearly got pushed back into the water a few times, but they finally got to the shore safely.
Tobi fell on his knees, so does the other boy he's holding. But they are still within the wave's reach so Tobi dragged both his body and his friend's further away.
He doesn't let go of Fuchi, and lowers his hold to the wrist to check the other's pulse. He sighs in relief afterwards. As if Fuchi hadn't been holding some of his weight on his own.
"Hah.. fricking idiot."
He lays on his side, still out of breath, face a few inches away from Fuchi's. The cold air makes them breathe out fog-like air which clashes against each other.
Fuchi starts coughing, as his body tries to get the swallowed seawater out forcefully. Tobi gets up first and goes to grab his jacket. The air feels much colder now that he's practically soaked, making him shiver each time the wind blows.
When he came back, Fuchi had already sat up.
"Take off your jacket and scarf, your hoodie and t-shirt too."
Fuchi does so accordingly, without saying a word. Leaving his upper-half bare.
Then Tobi sat in front of him and helped him wear his jacket which was somewhat unnecessary, but they both stayed quiet as the wind continued to send chills down their bones. Fuchi's eyes never left the sand, unwilling to face Tobi. He dislikes that, though he kinda gets it, as he can hear the quiet sobs coming from the other.
Tobi wears Baku on his shoulder again. Who conveniently dragged itself towards him so he doesn't have to come get the bag. It always feels weird when he's not strapped on his back, especially when he's outside.
"You're gonna get cold too. Go find a heater or something." His tongue pokes Tobi's arm which he nudges away.
He's right. Though there's something else that can make him feel warmer. Tobi's hands are still where he had last fixed his jacket. He stares at Fuchi for a while. Seemingly hesitant to stand up.
Moving would also make him less cold, and a heater would be a huge help so Tobi stood up anyway.
"Keep an.. ear for him while I'm gone." He's not about to hear complaints about how Baku doesn't have an eye.
There was a shop nearby, he remembers seeing it on the way here. It would be awkward explaining things. So Tobi just told the owner he and his friend nearly drowned and would like to borrow a heater. Which ends up with not just a heater but a blanket and two hot tea, that he insists on paying for. What a nice old lady the shop owner was.
Tobi turned on the heater, it lit up bright red. It takes a bit before it can actually warm them up so he grabs the blanket. There's only one, but it's big. So Tobi scoots over to Fuchi, spreads out the blanket, then gestures to him to wrap the other half of the blanket around himself just like he does.
Their shoulders are practically glued to one another now. Fuchi hugs his folded legs, still unwilling to talk. They never really sit this close to each other, turns out, Tobi doesn't really mind it. He offers the second hot tea to him, who quietly accepts it.
'It's always strange to see him this quiet.'
One doesn't ask, and the other doesn't tell. Both fit any role. Both are afraid of what the other will think if they ask or tell. Neither of them know how long they're going to stay like this, they don't want to know if anything.
'I wish we could just stay like this forever.'
Fuchi's head feels light, his thoughts are empty. He notices something though. The scent of Tobi(which came from his jacket that Fuchi is wearing) beats the smell of the sea breeze and warm tea. He wonders what kind of perfume he used, it smells nice. Fuchi shakes his head and takes a sip of his tea. All this is still better than thinking on what to do next, so it's fine.
'Why would he do so much for someone like me?'
Fuchi rests his head on his knees, facing sideways, where he can see Tobi clearly. He's sipping his tea with an expression like nothing happened just now. The other realizes the look he is given and places his cup down. Finally making up his mind to ask.
"You want this to happen don't you?"
'You still want to live although just for a bit don't you?'
The other turns his head to face the opposite way. Tobi somewhat regrets asking. As he sees the distraught on Fuchi's face after hearing his words. But he's not letting things go so easily.
'How could I almost lose someone again? I'm tired of being left alone, please, not you too. If only I had noticed his strange behaviour today, this wouldn't happen, or will it? How should I even handle that?'
"Sunao Fuchi-"
‘Look at me, answer me.’
Both realise how Tobi raised his voice, he didn't intend to, so he went quiet. Both felt like their heart was getting squeezed. For some reason the waves have gone silent all of the sudden. Has he gone overboard? Is he mad? At who? Fuchi? No way. Himself?
The silence pains Fuchi yet again.
"I'm sorry, you just won't understand." Is all he can say.
‘I’m sorry for being such a burden, for being pathetic, for making you risk your life, for making you look so.. scared.’ Fuchi was actually somewhat awake when he got pulled out of the water, so he did see Tobi’s face at that moment, he closed his eyes right after that.
Tobi grips the sand beneath him, before his hand turns into a fist. He can feel his nails dig so deep into his palm it starts to sting. What should he even say? He bets that no piece of calming words can even get to the boy sitting beside him. It's not like he's good at making them either. Scolding him will risk things turning into an argument.
He sighed, there's not many things he could do now.
“Just.. don't do that again, please.” Tobi finds himself holding the other’s arm, that hold turned into a squeeze as he said the word “please”. It's probably wrong for him to express his frustration this way. But it's been a while since he last felt this much fear, so you can't really blame him.
Fuchi turns his head around. He looks like he's about to cry again, even his hand starts shaking, which Tobi can feel. He looks at the other’s pleading expression momentarily, he can't bear to look at it. It was subtle, yet it was something he had never seen. Fuchi manages a hesitant hum before looking away. Which isn't convincing but enough for the other to release his hold of his arm.
Forget it. Their tea is getting cold, they better drink it.
. . .
It sure does take a while for their clothes to dry, his pants still feel cold and damp but his body is getting warm, a lot warmer, actually. Fuchi wonders how long they've been sitting like this, all curled up wrapped in a blanket. His phone should be able to tell him the time, but after all that, it's probably broken. What's wrong with checking though? So he pulls it out of his pocket, and.. surprise, surprise, it turned on. Even Tobi was impressed. Still, practically only half the screen is working.
04.15. It's been longer than he expected.
Tobi moves his head closer, which somewhat startled Fuchi. He's peeking into his phone at this point, but he's not going to complain.
“You're not gonna post on twitter again?”
Fuchi gave Tobi a confused look. Again? he opens his twitter on reflex. Oh, he really did post that beach picture a few hours ago. He repeated Tobi’s question in his mind. Perhaps he can't think clearly anymore, so he took a picture of the heater in front of him, maybe a bit too up close, and posted it. Staring at the phone makes him feel dizzy, suddenly his head feels lighter. Should he tell Tobi? Maybe not, he shouldn't trouble him any further.
‘He actually did it? That was just something that slipped out of my mouth.’ Tobi turns his head upwards so he can see Fuchi.
Only to see his eyes falling shut alongside his body collapsing. Tobi manages to catch him by the shoulder. His face slightly brushed against Fuchi's neck which felt very warm, in a bad way. He quickly checked the boy’s forehead with the back of his hand, it's hot.
“Fuchi?” He unintentionally shakes the other’s body slightly.
“Don't worry Tobi, I'm fine…” He tries to keep his eyes open and smile as he clearly no longer has the strength to hold himself up.
. . .
Fuchi's consciousness comes and goes. He can't really do anything, only feel, his body just won't move, not even his mouth, which keeps making heavy breathing or shivering sounds, he can't tell. All he can think about is how cold the air is.
From the little glimpse he gets, it seems like he's moving along the streets, and something, or someone is carrying him, most likely Tobi. He can feel the damp clothing worn by the person he wraps his arms around.
He also feels upset when they suddenly stop and he hears the heavy breathing that isn't his. Before long, they continue to move again.
‘Why are you trying so hard?’
. . .
“Baku, help me click the buttons.”
“No, not that one, go down two buttons and move a little to the left, yes that one.”
And then Fuchi felt a weird sensation of slowly going up, before a familiar ring could be heard. He can't really figure out what happened but it's nothing he should worry about.
. . .
“Why are you sleeping in the hallway? Wake up Ryuuko.” Tobi nudges the girl with his foot. Look, he can't use his hands for obvious reasons.
The mentioned girl jolts awake from her earlier position sitting against the wall. She immediately stood up and faced Tobi with an enraged expression.
“Tobi! Where have you been!?”
“I'll explain later, Fuchi is sick. Can you open the door?”
‘hurry, please.’ His entire body feels like it's about to give up, and it's disgusting how his sweat kind of mixes with the remaining seawater in his turtleneck. The wind blowing through the balcony made it even worse thanks to it being colder than the wind in the streets, making him shiver amidst his already audible breathing after all that running while carrying a certain extremely tall person.
Ryuuko seems to somewhat understand their urgency and opens the door without any more complaint. Tobi enters his apartment and goes to his bedroom immediately. A confused Ryuuko trailing behind which he realised. He could use some help.
“Bring the thermometer, it's in the drawer, and a blanket.” Tobi placed Fuchi on his bed, he could feel Baku slide off his shoulder in the process but decided to ignore it.
Tobi tries to take in the current situation, okay, everything is under control now, right? Sort of, at least the air is not trying to give him hypothermia anymore. He falls into a sitting position, it says fall because he hits the rug almost too hard as if he lost balance suddenly. He straightened his leg as Ryuuko crawled up the bed and placed the thermometer on Fuchi's armpit, then she spread out a blanket to cover him.
Fuchi immediately clings to it and wraps it tightly around himself. Tobi furrows his brows as he realises that the blanket is a bit too small for Fuchi, his legs are peeking out.
“Thanks Ryuuko, you're really helpful.” Tobi said as the girl passed him the thermometer. Then knowing her job is done, she made herself sit comfortably by using Fuchi as a backrest. She looks like she's about to read the boy a bedtime story with what seems to be a fairytale book in her hand.
“He's warm.” Ryuuko didn't even touch him.
“Figured so.” Tobi sighed as he read the thermometer, which shows "40.1° C". It's definitely a high fever, which is no surprise really, that's what you get from drowning in ice cold waters. He probably has to let Fuchi stay here until he's recovered.
He should change and rest too, unless he wants to get sick as well. Tobi stood up and went to grab some clothes that reminded him of something, he glanced back at Fuchi.
‘Wait shouldn't Fuchi change as well? That kerosene heater probably doesn't do much to his clothes.’ Tobi nearly forgot about this because his clothes are already somewhat dry. He dragged himself near the bed and shook the other’s body.
After a bit of struggle, Fuchi got up and went to the bathroom to change into Tobi's clothes. He hopes he's not gonna faint again inside.
“Tobi, your bed is damp now.” Ryuuko got off his bed looking slightly irritated, she also picked up her dolls and hat. Tobi sighed and stood up.
“Hey, you don't mind him sleeping here for now right?” Tobi says as he sets up the bed cover and sets aside the pillow Fuchi used earlier, which is not that wet so he's going to use it tonight.
Ryuuko stays quiet for a while.
“Sure, but I'm taking the sofa.” Tobi turns his head sharply at the girl, who's already heading outside with her blanket in hold. He was also planning to sleep there, but he's not about to argue with someone as stubborn as Ryuuko so he doesn’t protest.
Tobi turns his head around.
“Don't just stand there.” He stares back at the person behind him, Fuchi, who seems to be in a dazed state.
“Get some sleep, you can stay here for now.” Tobi stood up, he raised his head slightly to face Fuchi. Once the other nods he walks towards his closet, grabs whatever and goes to the bathroom.
Tobi is thankful that Fuchi left the other half of his bed empty. After turning off the lights he lays on the bed carefully so as to not wake up the other. As he tucks himself under the blanket, one big enough to fit them both, he notices the pair of eyes staring at him. He simply stares back at it.
‘Of course he's awake.’
After only a few minutes Tobi already starts dozing off. But he forces his eyes to stay open. He shouldn't take his eyes off of Fuchi as long as he's awake. Not after what happened, though honestly, Fuchi can barely get up while being this sick.
“You're not gonna sleep?” Tobi seriously needs him to go to sleep right now.
“No..” is all the other can manage with his shaking voice.
Tobi finds himself placing his hand on the other’s shoulder, then gently pats it in a consistent rhythm. He hopes it could help comfort the other, or himself, who can't bear looking at the other's condition. Fuchi tenses up from the touch, which makes Tobi stop.
‘Was that too much?’
The other relaxed and smiled at him, as if giving approval, or appreciation even. Tobi continues to pat his shoulder until he hears faint snores, then finally, he too shuts his eyes.