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Craig really hated his life right now. He put on a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants while his original clothes and phone were placed into a clear baggie. He walked through some doors and then entered a long hallway and was led to a dark room by a brown haired man in scrubs. The light was turned on to reveal there was a man sleeping in a bed across the room who woke up with a gasp. He had messy blonde hair and frightened eyes.
“You’ll be staying here,” the brown haired man next to Craig gestured to a bed on the opposite side of the room from the blond man. Craig adjusted to the idea that he had a roommate fairly quickly before getting into the bed. The brown haired man in scrubs started leaving the room. Then the light was turned off and Craig looked at the ceiling in the dark room. He cried himself to sleep.
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Craig woke up in an empty room and looked at the empty bed across from him. Then he looked at the door. He debated trying to go back to sleep, but he felt too awake. So, he got up and walked towards the door. Then he went out to the hallway.
On one side of the hallway was a large room with a tv and some furniture. There was an office next to the large room. Nobody was in the large room. Some people were in the office though.
Craig walked up to the office. A friendly lady smiled at him, “You must be Craig! Have you had breakfast yet? You have to go down the hall to the activity room. Then it will be activity time in a couple hours. Do you need fresh clothes?” The lady left the office and walked him towards some cabinets. She grabbed fresh t-shirts, sweatpants, underwear, and some toiletries for him. Craig grabbed the fresh clothes and brought them to his room. Then he started walking towards the other side of the hall.
The activity room was a large room with multiple tables. There were shelves on one side of the room filled with books and puzzles. Some people were sitting eating their breakfast. Everybody had white t-shirts and grey sweatpants. Some people wore grey sweatshirts. On one side of the room was a window that led to a kitchen. Craig walked up to the window and was handed a tray with breakfast food.
“What do you want to drink?” a man asked from the kitchen. Craig felt a little awkward.
“What are my choices?” Craig asked in a nasally monotone voice.
“There’s milk, tea, coffee, and juice,” the man explained.
“I’ll have juice. Thank you,” Craig had juice placed on his tray. Then he turned around with his tray and looked at the tables. He recognized his blond roommate at one of the tables and debated sitting next to him. At the time, Craig didn’t feel like talking with anybody. So, he walked over to an empty table with his tray and sat down to eat. For an institution, this place seemed nicer than he would’ve expected. Then a stranger sat down at the table next to him.
“What are you in for?” the stranger asked.
“I don’t feel like talking about it,” Craig responded in his usual monotone.
“Well, golly, I’m here to get my meds fixed. I hope we can be friends. I’m Butters,” The man held out his hand.
“I’m Craig,” Craig shook his hand and hoped that things would end soon. He just wanted to get through the first day peacefully. Craig finished his food pretty quickly and got up to leave without saying goodbye. As he walked down the hall, he could see that some people had similar rooms to him. There were two beds in each room with a small bathroom.
Craig rushed to his room, grabbed fresh clothes, and got in the shower. Being in a new place was a good distraction from his thoughts, but now that he didn’t have his phone he felt weird. He usually checked it every day. Even eating without checking youtube or something felt pretty boring. Craig dried himself off and got into fresh clothes. Then he walked out of the bathroom and saw his roommate jolt from the other side of the room.
“Jesus! You scared me! Rrrg!” the blond man on the other side of the room exclaimed. Craig got a better look at him this time. The blond man was shorter than him, maybe 5’9” or 5’10” and he was very pale. He had circles under his eyes that made him look very tired. Somehow his blond hair stuck out in different directions.
“I’m sorry,” Craig flatly apologized. Craig sat down on his bed. He didn’t feel like doing anything today. Maybe he could stay in bed all day.
“I’m Tweek. You scared me last night too,” Tweek looked at him for a moment and then went back to drawing in a notebook. “You should go to the activity room to get a… Mmm! Notebook! It’ll make time pass by quicker.”
“I’m Craig. Ok.” Craig nodded his head. Craig kept a journal at home. It would be nice to write things down here too. Maybe if he organized his thoughts, he could figure out what he was supposed to do.
“AAaa!” Tweek suddenly cried out and shivered. “Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!” Tweek covered his ears and kicked his feet.
Craig felt awkward and decided he would leave. Maybe the activity room would be better. So, Craig walked over to the activity room and looked at the books. There were multiple bibles which was pretty disappointing. Some people were in the room already working on puzzles. Butters was there.
“Do I have to ask permission to grab a book?” Craig asked Butters.
“No. The books are free to grab!” Butters explained in a cheerful tone.
“Where do I get a notebook?” Craig asked Butters.
“Ms. Ellen hands them out at the journal activity. That’s in half an hour!” Butters seemed really chipper for somebody at a psych ward.
Craig grabbed a murder mystery and sat down to read it. It seemed odd that they would have a murder mystery at a psych ward, but at least it was better than another bible. He struggled to focus on reading for 20 minutes before getting into it. The conversations in the activity room distracted him.
Then it came time for the journal activity. Ms. Ellen entered the activity room with a box of notebooks with markers and pens. She also handed out some papers that came with various questions and prompts like how do you feel today? Or what makes you feel safe? Just weird questions like that. Some of the prompts on the paper were a little funny like describe someone who is a hero to you and why. Craig didn’t have a hero.
Craig noticed Tweek walk into the activity room with his notebook. Tweek always stood out to Craig it seemed. Probably because he was his roommate. Tweek would flinch and cry out at random times that he wanted to be left alone.
“How are you doing today, Tweek?” Ms. Ellen asked.
“I still hear voices. AAAarg! The meds aren’t working!” Tweek shook his head and covered his ears.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Are you going to meet with the psychiatrist soon?” Ms. Ellen asked.
“I am! I just have to wait a few hours!” Tweek shivered in place.
“That’s good. You’re in a safe place, Tweek,” Ms. Ellen tried to sooth Tweek.
“Mmrg!” Tweek grabbed a couple papers of questions and prompts from Ms. Ellen. He seemed to settle down a bit. Craig wondered what Tweek was here for if he heard voices. Psychosis could be a couple different things. Craig felt grateful that Tweek told him about getting a notebook because Craig had been planning to just stay in his room all day.
“I want to share what’s in my notebook!” Butters declared. He started reading the answers to various questions and Craig tuned him out to think about his life.
What was he doing here? How long would he be here? Would he have to talk about his feelings to get out of here? That was an uncomfortable thought. He didn’t want to admit what happened to himself let alone to anybody else.
The journaling activity passed by until Craig was asked to go see the psychiatrist himself. It felt odd walking down a different hallway towards a little room on the other side.
The psychiatrist greeted him, “hello, Mr. Tucker.”
“You can call me Craig,” he corrected.
“How’ve you been?” the psychiatrist asked.
“Shitty,” Craig replied.
“That’s unfortunate. I’m Dr. Katz. It’s your first day. I can prescribe you some depression medication. How does that sound? Do you feel anxious about being here? How are you sleeping?” the psychiatrist questioned.
“I don’t feel anxious. Maybe depression medication would help.” Craig pondered.
“I can help you with that. I noticed in your trauma assessment, you left some questions blank. Did you want to go into that?” the psychiatrist asked.
“I don’t want to talk about that,” Craig deadpanned.
The meeting was awkward at that point as the psychiatrist tried to get Craig to speak and Craig shut him down. Dr. Katz went over the medication and possible side effects. Craig was grateful when he could finally leave the psychiatrist to go to lunch. He’s only half way through the day and it felt so long.
Craig entered the activity room and got in line for lunch. Waiting for something without the ability to just look at his phone was torture. Lunch was chicken and broccoli. Craig chose to sit by himself again.
After lunch, Craig walked over to his room and started reading the murder mystery. Tweek was gone. Maybe he was seeing the psychiatrist. An hour went by and Tweek was in the room again. This time, Tweek had headphones on. Craig watched Tweek doodle in his notepad for a while before going back to reading.
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“You’re only allowed two coffees a meal, Tweek,” the man at the kitchen window explained.
“Arrg. Ok.” Tweek looked dismayed. He had two coffees placed on his tray and walked to the table with slumped shoulders.
The surprising thing was he sat by Craig. Craig had been trying to avoid sitting with others during meals, but maybe he should get to know his roommate.
“Hi, Tweek,” Craig said in his usual monotone.
“Agh! Hi, Craig. I wanted to get to know you better,” Tweek smiled.
“Ok,” Craig worried this would be awkward, but braced himself for the conversation.
“I have schizophrenia. I’m here to get my medication adjusted,” Tweek explained. “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”
“Thanks. I don’t want to.” Craig answered.
“That’s fine. Mmrg! I can talk about myself,” Tweek stated.
“Ok,” Craig was open to hearing about Tweek.
“I was hearing voices. At first, I thought it was my neighbors or coworkers gossiping. The voices got more persistent. Then, I was afraid people were out to get me. I called the cops and the cops took me to the emergency room. Then I was brought here,” Tweek explained.
“That must’ve been frightening. Hearing voices. I had the cops called on me and then I was brought here,” Craig explained.
“I wonder how many people are brought here involuntarily,” Tweek pondered. “Something I like about this psych ward is that the psychiatrist is available sooner.”
“You’re right. I saw him and it’s my first day here,” Craig happily acknowledged.
“It really means a lot to me.” Tweek was still happy about it. “To be honest, at first I was in denial about hearing voices. I didn’t want to accept that I’m crazy.”
“I imagine that’s hard to deal with,” Craig responded.
“Yeah. It’s nice talking with you, Craig. I feel like I can trust you. You have kind eyes.” Tweek smiled at Craig. Craig felt a burst of warmth in his chest and couldn’t believe this was really happening.
“I have kind eyes?” Craig didn’t want to believe it.
“Yeah. You do.” Tweek was still smiling and it was like fireworks were going off in Craig’s head. He never saw a lovelier face. For a moment, he forgot all his troubles. Then Tweek started to shiver and jolted up. “There’s too much noise. I have to leave.” So, Tweek put his food tray away and ran out the room.
Craig ate the rest of his chicken and broccoli in silence. The food was a bit flavorless and dry, but for some reason it was one of the more exciting parts of the psych ward. As the days went on, Craig found himself looking forward to the meals out of sheer boredom. He’d wake up excited for breakfast. After eating breakfast, he’d look forward to lunch. After eating lunch, he’d look forward to dinner.
Tweek started sitting with Craig during meal times and they would talk about life. Mostly Tweek talked and Craig would listen, but Craig couldn’t help enjoying Tweek’s company. Craig wished he could open up about himself, but Craig just couldn’t bring himself to do that. It was like he was trapped in his own head. Craig would complain to Tweek about different aspects of the psych ward like the food, the fact there were too many bibles, the lack of phone, and the worry that he would be stuck here for too long.
Craig was able to write about his troubles in his journal. He thought about sharing it with Tweek, but Craig also wanted to destroy his journal. He wondered if he explained what troubled him to the psychiatrist if he would be let out sooner. He wasn’t sure if it would be worth the effort. Craig didn’t want to admit what happened to himself or anybody else. It was such a heavy hopeless feeling. There was also the issue of if life outside the psych ward would be just a continuation of his troubles. Craig missed the freedom of being outside, but he didn’t know how he was going to cope with things. Would he just put up with it until he could move out? That seemed to be the most logical answer.
Today Tweek and Craig were putting together a puzzle in the activity room. They had found the corner pieces pretty quickly and had almost completed the border of the puzzle. They were dividing the pieces into piles by color. To Craig it felt like nobody else existed at this moment, but him and Tweek. They were in their own world.
“The voices have gotten quieter. I might be able to leave soon.” Tweek told Craig.
“Are you excited about leaving? What are you going to do when you get out?” asked Craig.
“I’m excited, but… I worry about you. Agh!” Tweek explained. Craig was quiet for a moment. He was going to miss Tweek, but he didn’t want to admit that out loud. He didn’t want to seem whiny. He couldn’t share that openly. So, he tried to brush everything off.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m super Craig.” Craig puffed out his chest and put his hands on his hips.
“Will we still talk after we get out?” Tweek looked worried. Tweek fidgeted in his seat.
“Yeah. I’ll give you my number.” Craig couldn’t believe he made a friend in the psych ward. Although, he couldn’t help fantasizing about something more. Craig didn’t want to push for anything. He wasn’t sure he was actually ready for anything more than a friendship, but he couldn’t help fantasizing about another life where he was flirting with Tweek and giving him his number romantically.
“Thank you, Craig.” Tweek smiled at Craig and once again, Craig felt like fireworks were going off in his head. Tweek’s smile seemed to stop time. Craig was grateful that Tweek was so patient with him. He never pressured him to talk about himself. He never expected too much from him and he was grateful for that.
“When we go back to our room, I want to show you my journal.” Craig finally told Tweek.
“Wagh! Ok!” Tweek looked unsure of himself.
Then they went back to working on the puzzle. Sadly, the puzzle was missing a couple pieces. So, the puzzle would never be completed by them.
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“I’m going to kill your parents,” exclaimed Tweek as he closed Craig’s journal.
“Tweek…” Craig said. “I don’t want revenge.”
“Arg! You’re hurting. This is too much. You don’t deserve this.” Tweek was frantic.
“I’m sorry it’s too much.” Craig was sullen.
“You don’t need to be sorry. Are you going to live with them after you get out?” Tweek was worried.
“I’m too old to be in foster care.” Craig replied.
“You should live with me.” Tweek offered.
“You mean it?” Craig hesitated. “That’s a big step.”
“I mean it. I care about you.”
“That gives me hope for the future.”
So, Tweek left the psych ward before Craig and Craig told his psychiatrist that he had a better outlook on life. Craig explained to his psychiatrist that he didn’t feel suicidal anymore. Craig was allowed out. Craig was 18 in his senior year of high school and moving into Tweek’s apartment was a little hectic, but it was a welcome change. At first Tweek slept on the couch for a few months, but Craig pulled Tweek into the bed with him. Tweek was in his mid-twenties and often felt nervous about sharing a bed with an 18 year old. Craig still had suicidal thoughts every once in a while, but they weren’t as bad as when he lived with his family. Craig eventually got a job after graduating high school and saved up money to move to Denver with Tweek a year after living together.
Tweek never made a move on Craig, but Craig often tried to flirt with Tweek. Craig was taller so he would enjoy caging in Tweek against the wall. Craig would cuddle Tweek in bed. Then one day, Craig kissed Tweek while they were watching tv and Tweek panicked. They talked about having a relationship and agreed to take things slow. Then they got addicted to making out.